Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I'm so sorry this took so long. What I used to write my story on was acting up, so I had to redownload it and tweak it here and there and adjust how I was going to write. This was supposed to be the final chapter, but I changed my mind. Anyhow, for the guest whose birthday was recent, I hope you had an amazing birthday, and happy belated birthday!
––
"Here." Merle handed her the cap to his beer.
She accepted it and tossed it over the roof, looking over as it fell. "Well, I beat my last throw."
"Beat mine yet?"
"No." She sat down on the edge. "Keep drinking, and I just might."
"We don't have enough beers for that," "Neil" informed her. "Neither does the world."
"Yeah, fuck you." She smirked. "One day, I will beat my score and his." She hopped up and sat down beside Merle on the ground. "Speaking of beers, where is mine?"
"Oh, that was yours?" Marty smiled. "Sorry, hon, I drank it."
She sighed. "Fine." She reached over and took her joint. "Thanks."
"Merle, keep your eye on her."
"Trust me, I do." He tipped his beer back and ran his eyes over Amy, who was wearing a lacy, black top and a skinny jeans, and he would be removing them in a little bit. Amy caught him looking and smiled, blowing smoke at him and smiling.
"Get a room." Haley stood up and ruffled Amy's hair as she walked by, taking the joint back. "Please! I still have nightmares about you two."
"Then don't fuckin' watch next time," he shot back.
"I did not watch," she corrected, pointing to Neil, "he did."
"Did you learn anything?" Amy teased, making him blush, and she laughed. "Is that a yes?"
Haley shook her head and laughed. "We need some music." She turned on the radio and flipped through the stations, trying to find a decent song, and she paused over one song that Amy loved.
"No, go back. I love that song."
"All right." She went back and let the song play.
Amy leaned back against Merle and listened to the song, and they finished the last of the beers and talked for a bit, laughing and just having a good time. It was one of the nights when nothing bad happened and nobody came to bother them. They could just laugh and hang out with friends, even if Merle didn't really like "Neil" and Haley. After a while, he just didn't care, because everything took over, and nothing really mattered.
"All right, I'm going home to my babies: rum and Coke. Have fun without me. Seriously, try, 'cause you won't." She left with that.
Merle rolled his eyes. "Why you like her so much, I'll never fuckin' know."
Amy turned her head to look at him. "Good." She crossed her legs. "I can't have you knowing all my secrets."
"You got secrets?" He arched a brow.
She was about to reply when Blackbird Song began to play, and she looked over at the radio. This used to be one of her favorite songs, but now it just reminded her of home and all of that shit back there. She didn't want to think about home. She didn't want to miss or to regret. She hated that song, that home, and she wasn't going back. She refused.
Instead of replying, she leaned over and kissed him, threading her fingers through his hair and parting his lips. She was being forceful, but he didn't notice or maybe he didn't care. He just pulled her onto his lap and kissed her back just as heatedly, if not more. Distantly, Marty groaned and left at the sight of them. They had no boundaries sometimes, and it was as if the rest of the world couldn't see or hear them, but they could. They all could see and hear them.
His hand slid under her shirt to her breast, cupping it and making her moan. Merle opened his eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck and looked at Neil, making him leave with only a look. He closed his eyes and went to remove her belt; Amy shifted and pulled him toward her until her back was against the cold ground. They both began to work on getting her out of her jeans.
– – –
"Andrea!" Amy called. "Andrea?"
"What?" She stopped at the top of the stairs. "What the hell do you want? It's six in the morning, and it's my day off, so make this quick or I'll put your head in the blender!"
"Not a morning person, got it. I shall talk to you at noon. We're having lunch together, and I'll text you when I know where."
"I. Loathe. You."
She smiled. "Noon!" She left the house and went to the only person she knew could be turned into a morning person with coffee. She used the key to his place and climbed onto his bed. "Felix, wake up." She smiled when he groaned at the sound of her voice. "It's Amy, so wake up. I'm not leaving."
He opened his eyes. "We've have this talk, Amy. I've killed people for less than this."
She grinned now. "I need you, right now. C'mon, wake up."
"No!" He buried his face into his pillow. "Leave me alone."
"Not a chance." She climbed on top of him, her chest to his back, nestled her chin on his shoulder and didn't move. "Please, I need you, and you have a busy day ahead of you."
"Busy doing what exactly?"
"Helping me find a house." She searched his eyes. "I need your advise and opinion. I value it deeply. You know I do, and you know how much I love you. You're my best friend. I also have a great Christmas gift for you."
He groaned. "Fine, you noisy bitch! Fetch me something gay." He waved toward his closet.
"Thank you!" She hugged him and slid off the bed.
– –
"I'm glad you came to meet me." Allen stayed a good distance away from his youngest. "How do you feel, darling?"
"A little shaky, but it's just my new meds." She shrugged.
"Oh? And how are they helping?"
"Not much. I more than a little sure I'm going to stop taking them. I only need some for sleeping, so as soon as I see Eleanor next, I'm telling her to take me off them." She crossed her arms.
He studied the floor momentarily then shook his head. "About the hospital—"
"Don't. I don't want to talk about it."
"But I need to." He walked toward her. "I need to explain myself."
She moved away. "Then explain."
He nodded. "Yes, well, ahem. When you pulled away from us the last time, you were like you were before; you were distant and having bad dreams and were very anxious then as well."
"I was sixteen and in high school! Of course I was anxious!"
"Yes, but you ran away," he added. "You up and left in the middle of the day, and we worried for years, and it killed us a little more each day." He lifted his eyes to hers. "I thought—I thought if I could just help in some way, stop you from feeling the need to run, then you wouldn't run. We could talk about it rationally, and everything would be okay. Honestly, I just wanted to make sure you were safe."
"I did not cut my own wrist," she growled. "It was an accident! I want to live my life with my daughter and my sister and you and Mom! With my friends! I love my life! I get to teach and dance and be with the people I love!" She scoffed at him. "Yes, I am a little shaken after killing a man, no matter what the reason, because I still killed a man, Dad! I pulled the trigger and watched the lights go out! I can't just get over that!"
"Which is why I wanted the hospital to look at you!" He closed his eyes and shook his head then tried again. "Which was why I wanted you at the hospital, so you could speak with a professional while I looked for someone better. I just... I screwed up. I've never had to..."
"To deal with this before?" He nodded. "Neither have I, but I don't need you to protect me. I can protect myself."
"No, I will protect you! I have to protect you and Andrea. You're my daughters, and it's my job to protect you both."
"Dad, we're not little girls anymore. I don't dance around in tutus and with ribbons, and Andrea doesn't...do whatever Andrea did as a kid. We're both adults, and we're both...able to take care of ourselves."
"I know you're both adults. You're both beautiful women, and I trust in your abilities to take care of yourselves. I love you both very much." Tears were forming in his eyes. "I just missed so much of your life, Amy. I was terrified I would lose you and more time; I didn't think at all, just acted, and I am so sorry."
She stepped closer. "I'm not going to run away again. I wouldn't do that to you guys, and Paige needs you, needs something real and solid, especially now since..." She shook her head and blinked hard to erase the tears that wanted to form.
"What happened?"
"Merle left." She folded her arms over her chest.
"I'm sorry."
"What, that's it? No 'I told you so' or 'Thank God, he wasn't worthy'?"
"Why would I say those things? You're in pain, and for Merle to have caused you pain, he must have meant a lot to you. I won't add to that pain, not anymore."
Her eyes burned. "Do you mean that?"
"I do. I will be here silently, unless you want my advise."
"Thank you, Daddy." She hugged him.
"Don't thank me. I'm a horrible father."
She laughed. "Yeah, pretty much."
"I guess the talk went well." Andrea entered the room. "Mom and Paige are feeding the fish, so I came to see how everything was."
"It's better." She released her dad. "But I need to explain some things to you both, just don't tell Mom."
"Okay. What is it?"
"Okay, first of all the rooftop thing..." She wrung her hands. "I wasn't trying to kill myself. It was a game: see how far you can throw the beer cap. We used to play it all the time when we would get drunk and high. I was just trying to throw a beer bottle cap over the edge to beat Merle's score that night at Marty's party, because he'd pissed me off so bad, and he was being so smug, and I was tripped. By Andrew. Oscar caught me, thankfully. Merle didn't know what I was doing, so he assumed I was jumping. I was too pissed at him—and Andrew—to even care to explain. That's why he thinks that."
"And the bathtub thing?" Allen asked. "What happened there?"
She swallowed. "Let's go sit down."
They headed into the den, Andrea took Amy's hand so she'd stop knotting her fingers together, and she gave her a reassuring smile, and they all took a seat. She began to explain the bathtub thing as best she could. She wanted to explain what happened and why it happened and why it wasn't ever going to happen again. She had too much to live for to die by choice.
– – –
Take my mind and take my pain
Like an empty bottle takes the rain
Amy set the vase of flowers that were a housewarming gift from Glenn and Maggie up on the mantle with the pictures Andrea had taken of Merle and her and Paige before he left on either side, and she turned the vase so the small little design showed. It was perfect, and it fit the new house perfectly. Glenn and Maggie were the sweetest, and even though they refused to help her move in, she had her sister and her family to help. She was glad they were there for her, because she needed them. She was starting over, and this time, she was doing it properly.
And heal, heal, heal, heal
Paige looked around her new bedroom with plenty of empty space. She knew her new bed would be moved in later, and she was going to fill the walls with pictures, but other than that, she didn't know what to do with it all. She had a lot of things, but they were mostly clothes and she wanted to keep her toys arranged neatly. It was her mom's only rule when it came to her room. She loved the new house, and it was perfect for them. It was new and ready for memories, as her mom said. She was so excited.
And take my past and take my sense
Like an empty sail takes the wind
And heal, heal, heal, heal
Reaching into the box of pictures, the bracelet her mom had given her rattled, the painted beer bottle caps knocking together. She sat down on the floor and pulled out some of the framed pictures her mother had given her. She smiled as she looked over the ones of her and Fee, and her and Andrea, and her and her mom. She stopped when she came across the one of her dad.
And tell me somethings last
And tell me somethings last
She was alone in the room, and she didn't have to worry about her mom coming in anytime soon. She was busy with Andrea and Felix, trying to arrange the living room with the new furniture that wasn't there, but Mom wanted an idea of where it would all go. Paige didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to know why he left or if he was ever coming back. She didn't want to understand his reasons. She just wanted people to stop thinking they could just leave whenever they wanted. She wasn't sad about him leaving, not even mad really. She didn't know him enough to be mad or sad that he was gone. She was sad that her mom was sad because he was gone. She didn't act like it, but Paige could tell.
Take a heart and take a hand
Like an ocean takes the dirty sand
And heal, heal, hell, heal
The movers arrived on time, Amy showed them in, and Andrea and Felix sat in the kitchen out of their way. Andrea was keeping a close eye on Amy, but she seemed to be doing fine. She hadn't really been upset since that first morning when she discovered he was gone. She was keeping busying with the studio and now here at the new house. Amy dragged Felix around for two weeks, trying to find the perfect home, and when she finally found it, she made sure she could afford it. She had to ask for a little help, and it only took three hours to convince her she did need help, but it was worth it. She seemed really happy. She was still talking to Eleanor, slowly working through the guilt of what happened with Gareth, and she was healing. She was doing great, but Andrea wanted to be close by for that moment when she wasn't great, when she took a moment and let the air settle. That's what Andrea was waiting for, and she would be there to ensure Amy didn't go through that alone.
Take my mind and take my pain
Like an empty bottle takes the rain
And heal, heal, hell, heal
That night, when the movers had gone and everything was—or almost was—in order, Felix, Andrea, Paige and Amy sat down for a dinner of pizza and wine and pop. Paige didn't talk much, but Felix managed to keep her smiling. Andrea was having a good time, though she noticed how Amy's eyes kept moving to Felix's glass of wine beside her. Amy wasn't allowed to drink with her the medication she was taking to help her sleep. Andrea kept her eye on Amy through dinner.
And tell me some things last.
And tell me some things last
Felix and Paige took out the trash while Andrea cleaned up the glasses. She had just finished washing the glass when she tried a loud thud from upstairs from Amy's room. She set the dish towel down on the counter then hurried down the hall and up the stairs. She ran to Amy's bedroom and pushed the door open, only finding the shattered remains of a glass candy dish. "Amy?" She checked the bathroom, but she wasn't in there. "Amy!"
She walked down the hall to the second bathroom, finding the door ajar, and she opened it, finding Amy on the floor. "Amy." She bent down. "What happened? Are you all right?"
"I—I think so." She cleared her throat.
"What happened?"
"I was arranging my room, and I just...felt really dizzy." She pushed herself into a sitting position. "And then I felt sick and then...I had to puke, so I ran down here, because my bathroom—" She stopped and took a deep breath.
"I know." Andrea rubbed her back gently then felt her forehead and cheek. "You're a little warm. Let's get you into bed." She nodded then held up a finger and threw up into toilet. "Get it out then we'll get you into bed."
Once Amy's stomach was empty and the dry heaving subsided, Andrea helped her into her bed, and Paige came into the room, frowning, with Felix behind her. Andrea explained how Amy wasn't feeling well, not giving Amy a chance to tell Paige herself, and Felix when to get a trashcan just in case Amy threw up again.
"Why don't you get something for her to drink?" Andrea suggested to Paige when Felix brought in the trashcan.
"Like what? Some water?"
"Yeah, that'll be good." Amy smiled at her. "Bottled, please."
"Okay." Paige left the room and headed to the kitchen.
"Do we even have bottled water?" Felix sat down beside Amy and put his arm around her shoulders, brushing hair from her forehead and pressing his hand against her forehead. "Warm. You were fine this morning."
"I was fine this morning." She sighed. "I don't know what happened. Maybe the pizza?"
"We all ate it, and I feel fine."
"So do I." Andrea sat down on the bed. "Maybe it's something...else."
"Like what?" Amy met her sister's eyes. "My pills aren't supposed to make me sick."
"Maybe you're knocked up," Fee teased, smirking.
"Get out. Get out of my room." Amy smirked back. "Pregnant? Now that would be hilarious."
"Could you be?" Andrea crossed her legs.
"No, I am not pregnant." She sat up. "I'm just sick. It was probably just something I ate this morning."
"Didn't you tell me when you were pregnant with Paige, you got sick during dinner?"
"No, but if you keep talking about me being pregnant, I'll get sick on you." Amy smiled sweetly then shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. "If I am pregnant, I think life hates me. If I'm not—which is true—I am never getting that pizza again. If you'll excuse me, I want to cuddle with my daughter and take a short nap."
"I'll finish the living room." Andrea stood up.
"I'll watch her finish the living room." Felix followed Andrea out of the room.
Amy sighed again and lied down, seeing Paige in the doorway. "C'mere, honey." She held her arms open, and Paige joined her on the bed, setting the bottle of water on the nightstand. Amy hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. "So, how do you like the house?"
"It's okay."
"Just okay? Don't you like your bed? Your spacious room? The dishwasher?" Paige giggled. "I, for one, am loving the new house. It's a fresh start, and we can finally paint. We can go look at some samples tomorrow. How does that sound?"
"Good."
Amy smiled and kissed the top of Paige's head. "If I start drooling, just wake me up."
"Mom?"
"What?"
"Do you miss him?" She looked over her shoulder at her mom. "Merle, I mean."
"I know who you meant." She shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know. I feel as though I should, but I guess a small part of me was expecting it. Merle was never one to commit. He didn't want a family."
"I don't think that's true." She rolled over to be facing her mom. "I think he doesn't know what to do with a family."
"Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right." She smiled a little. "You're too smart. Go to sleep."
"Even if he doesn't, I love you, Mom." She hugged her mom.
"I love you too, but really, go to sleep!"
She let her go and rolled over, Amy wrapped her arm around Paige and smiled a little, feeling a little better. She closed her eyes and rested her head on a pillow, glad she had made her bed first.
– – –
"Home sweet home." Carol sat down on the bed and rubbed her arm, shuddering but not out of cold.
"What's wrong?" Daryl set his jacket on the bed.
"I—I don't know." She looked around. "Wow, they did a really good job of cleaning up. I can hardly tell men came in here and tore the place up."
He climbed onto the bed behind her. "Yeah, me neither."
"You didn't see it like I saw it." She could still see the mess and feel how her heart raced, the panic and fear. "You locked the door, right?"
"Yeah." He lied back. "It's locked up tight." He scooted over a bit. "C'mere."
She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. "I'm not really sleepy. I'm going to make some tea. Do you want some?"
"Nah."
"Fine. Let your pregnant girlfriend to go drink tea alone in the kitchen." She stood up and walked out of the room, heading for the kitchen. She came off the steps and moved hair out of her eyes, gasping at the sight of someone in her kitchen, and she stumbled back, hitting the chair and falling into it.
"Carol?" Daryl hurried down the hall and stairs, finding her in the chair in the living room. "You okay?"
She scanned the living room, panting, but no one was there. "Y—yeah, I'm good."
"What happened?" He helped her stand up.
"Uh—nothing. Nothing, I just tripped." She stepped in to the kitchen and started to prepare her tea. "I guess I'm a little tired."
He joined her, sitting on a stool. "How do you feel?"
"Jumpy," she murmured, filling the kettle with water.
"Why 'jumpy'?"
"Because a group of men broke into our house to take us." She set the kettle on the burner and turned the heat on to high then faced him. "I just feel... I don't feel safe here." She crossed her arms. "If they got in once, maybe they'll get in again."
"Carol—"
"Ed didn't pay them," she interrupted him. "He wouldn't have had time too. He's dead and unable to pay them what they probably feel they are owed. What if they come back? Daryl, what if they come back tonight? Because they could. They know the house, and that door isn't—"
"Carol, stop." He slipped off the stool and held her. "Shh. Stop."
"Don't tell me to stop," she whispered, her voice small. "You know this as well as I do, so don't you dare tell me to stop."
He closed his eyes and held her closer. "What can we do? Buy an alarm system? Will that make you feel better?"
"God, no." She pulled away from him. "You don't understand."
"Yeah, I do. I was here when they were 'bout to break in, remember? But I know guys like that. I grew up with guys like that. They won't be back."
"That doesn't assure me, Daryl!" She looked into his eyes. "I don't want to have to hurt anybody, and I don't want to stress out every time I leave the house or worry they'll be inside already every time I come home at night. I—I thought that if..." she trailed off. "I don't know. I just don't know."
"Do you want to move?" he suggested.
"No, of course I don't want to move." She crossed her arms loosely.
"You don't wanna move, and you don't wanna stay?" He searched her face. "Which is it?"
She opened her mouth, but quickly shut it then shifted her weight and studied his eyes. She could hear the kettle begin to whistle, and she had no answer. She shook her head and stepped back, reaching up to get a cup and a tea bag. She prepared her cup of tea. She didn't want to move. She had so many memories here. Ethan's memory was here. This was his first home, and even if it was inside her, he grew here, slept here, ate here. She couldn't just sell this house. She just couldn't.
"Carol—"
"Let's just talk about it in the morning." She picked up her cup and left the kitchen, pausing on the steps. "Good night."
He gave a nod. "Night."
She offered him a small smile then continued to their bedroom, stopping only to check on Sophia, who was passed out in her bed, although she was out cold when they brought her in, but still. At least she was sleeping. Carol wasn't entirely sure she'd been sleeping at all tonight. She hadn't really been sleeping well. On the plane, she kept having nightmares. She could never remember what they were, but her heart was always racing when her woke up.
She climbed into bed and set a hand on the bottom of the mug, watching the steam. She shook her head and sighed, setting the cup on the nightstand and standing up to change into her nightclothes. As she stepped out of the closet, tugging a tank top down over her head, Daryl came into the room. She took her place on the bed and crossed her legs, and she reached over to set the alarm, feeling him on the bed. She paused when she felt his arms on her legs then looked as he rested his head in her lap.
"What are you doing?"
"Lyin' down." He closed his eyes. "What are you doin'?"
"Setting the alarm. I have to check on the Greene Leaf tomorrow, and probably a lot of other things as well."
"You don't have to."
"Yes, I do." She finished setting the alarm. "I just want things to go back to normal, and for that to happen, I have to do what I normally do."
"I'll go with you then."
"You have to work."
"T will understand. I'm goin' with you." He sat up and met her eyes. "Besides, someone will have to take care of Sophia while you're orderin' shit."
She sighed. "That's if Shawn doesn't call me for help with the twins. I love him to pieces, but he really should learn how to handle his own children, whether or not he's used to being a dad." He was there for Beth. He has the most memories of baby Beth—she would use herself, but Shawn took horrible care of her. He was such a bad babysitter. Thank God for that candy dish. She had faith he was do a hell of a lot better with his own children. He would have Sasha and Jacqui to lean on if he truly needed help. Or the Internet.
"So, you want a boy?" Daryl whispered.
"Yes, I do." She paused. "Is that such a surprise?"
"No." He rolled onto his back beside her.
"Do you want a boy or another girl?" She picked up her tea, blowing on it and taking a small, tentative sip.
"Don't matter." He exhaled and stacked his hands on his chest. "I just hope I can do the baby thing."
"Thing?" She groaned softly at how the tea burned her entire tongue. "Diapers and bottles and crying, you mean?"
He nodded. "Never had to do it before."
"You'll do fine, and I'll be here to help you." She smiled at him. "We'll do fine."
He closed his eyes and shrugged a shoulder. "We'll see."
"Don't say that." She set the cup down and curled up beside him, pushing his bangs away from his forehead. "You'll do fine. You're great to Sophia, and I know our baby will be great in your hands."
He opened his eyes. "How's your shoulder?"
"It's fine. Why?"
"Just wanted to make sure." He smiled a little then leaned up and kissed her gently, his hands moving to her waist and then he shifted to be on top of her, reaching over and flicking off the light as she giggled against his mouth.
– – –
"All right, go play." Carol hung her coat on the hook, Sophia and Paige ran outside to go see the horses—Maggie was brushing them otherwise Carol would have gone with them—and Carol entered the living room, hearing one of the twins cooing. She rounded the corner to find Hershel holding baby Devon who was sporting an N7 onies. She smiled at the sight of them and leaned in the doorway. "Hey."
He smiled back. "Hey."
"Where's his sister?"
"She was giving me hell, but I finally figured out how to calm her." Shawn walked down the hall with his daughter in his arms. "Thanks for coming over. Where's the munchkin?"
"With Paige and Maggie." She pushed off the wall and closed the space between them. "Where's her N7 outfit?"
"Sasha dressed her and smacked me when I tried to change it." He sighed a little. "I have a bruise on my arm. Mostly, because I bruise like a peach."
"Well, it doesn't matter, because all you can see is her precious little face."
"Well, she loves you, so take her—gently—because I have to use the bathroom. And I'm hungry."
"Okay." She took the baby from her brother. "When is Sasha coming back?"
"She's bringing lunch, but she's out with...people." He shrugged and headed to the bathroom.
Carol sat down on the couch and adjusted her niece tenderly, not waking her. "So, how are they?"
"Like their father," Hershel replied. "They both eat like a horse and sleep like a rock."
"I'm not surprised." She adjusted the blanket around Lydia, seeing a picture of Shawn and Sasha at their wedding. She smiled a little at how different her life was since that picture was taken, snuggling her baby niece closer to her.
––
Paige, Sophia and Maggie came back into the house at noon after being called to, because Sasha came with food. Carol and Maggie divvied it up while Paige and Sophia washed up in the bathrooms, Sasha and Shawn tended to the twins and Hershel went for a walk with Otis to check on the animals, having some fruit and granola. Paige and Sophia were sitting on the floor in the living room, flipping through a yearbook, and Carol called to them to let them know their plates were made and ready for them in the dining room.
"Hey, Mommy?" Sophia called.
"Yeah?"
"Can you come here?"
She set the plates on the table and went to her daughter. "What's up?"
She pointed to a picture of her and Daryl, and Carol cringed slightly. "This is you and Daddy, right?"
"Yes, it is." She bent down.
"Food." Shawn came off the steps then paused and chuckled at the sight of the picture under Sophia's index finger. "Ah, my precious."
Carol glared. "Shut up."
"You took this?" Paige pushed herself up. "When?"
"I love this story," Shawn chuckled again. "Carol, should I tell my way or do you want to tell them yours? 'Cause one of us is telling it. There's no way I'm letting them leave this room without someone telling them the story behind my beautiful picture."
"How your head fits into this room, I'll never know." Carol glared.
He gave a smug smile. "So, you or me?"
"Me! You'll tell them lies and make it so ridiculously over done, I'll wonder if it truly happened like that." She picked up the yearbook and sat on the couch. "Story then lunch. It shouldn't take too long."
"Shawn." Sasha returned with Devon. "Here, please, take him."
"What? Why me?"
"Shawn, do you want me to answer or simply do what we both know I'll do? He's your son, and he wants you."
"He's your son until sunset."
"Then I'll be your ex-wife by sunset." Shawn accepted his son, and Sasha smiled. "Thank you."
"You are so whipped." Carol smirked.
"So, Daryl and Carol are in high school," he began. "They're friends, but making eyes at each other. And by making eyes, I mean—"
"Shut. Up." She growled. "I'm telling it."
"You probably know this, but my wife is beautiful and sweet and also very capable of taking me." He had a seat. "Have you seen her muscles? They put me to shame, but why work out when I make that long trek from my office to the kitchen and have some leftover pizza?"
"You are a sad, sad man." She shook her head while the girls giggled. "Okay, the actual story goes like this. We were waiting for my incompetent brother to pick us up..."
– – –
"It's so cold." Carol rubbed her hands down her thighs, shivering as another cold breeze blew by, and she sighed, a white puff escaping her lips. She could literally feeling her insides shaking too. This was the worst idea ever. She knew her mom—who was at home toasty and comfy and unreachable—lending Shawn her car was a bad idea. He was always, always, always late. His ass was late again today, and Carol had promised to take Daryl home, because he had to make up a test after school. God, where was he? Her ass was so numb it was starting to hurt.
"Just think about somethin' else," Daryl suggested, not complaining about the cold, but internally complaining about not being able to smoke. He needed a cigarette like right the fuck now. He didn't like to let Carol see him smoke, because she would frown if she even smelled it. She'd get this look in her eyes, and it dug into it. He felt bad, even if it wasn't him who had been smoking. He was trying to quit. Kind of.
"My brows feel like they're collecting snow. Are they?" She turned to look at him.
"No, they ain't." She began to bounce up and down. "Now what?"
"I gotta pee." She groaned and crossed her legs. "Okay, so...how was your test?"
He shrugged. "A test. Christmas treed it."
"What?" She began to bounce her leg, hoping the distraction worked better than this conversation. Daryl was the worst at making any kind of talk, and she needed to not think about the kid tossing his bottle of Mountain Dew up and letting it splash back down as he caught it. Ooh, the cold air was not helping. Or her period and the fact that she'd drank two sixteen ounce bottles of water in fourth period. She would have gone the minute class let out, but apparently her bladder wanted to wait until the doors were locked and most of the teachers were gone and she was trapped in the cold. Damn bladder!
"You know, A C B, D B A C, E CC." He shrugged.
"Daryl, that's horrible! It's our last six-weeks test! It's called EOC, as in end of course exam!"
"Wouldn't that make it EOCE?" he teased.
"Daryl, that's not funny." She frowned. "If you were in class yesterday instead of off doing God-only-knows what, you could have just cheated off me."
He arched a brow and smirked. "Huh."
She returned the look. "What?"
"Did I hear you right? You wanted me to cheat off you?"
"Oh, shut up." She smiled though then nodded. "If it helps you pass, heck yeah."
He smiled a little when she wasn't looking. "Fine," he said softly, "I'll cheat next time."
"You have a great smile." She rested her hands in her lap. "Smile more."
"Make a funny face," he offered, "and I might."
"Funny face? What'd you mean? Like big-eyes-tongue-out-grr funny face?" She giggled at the sound of her very not at all sounding aggressive 'grr'.
"Yep." He smirked. "You up to it? Out here with a witness or two."
"For the last time, I don't care about the seniors. Or their opinion of me."
"Tsh, lair."
"Well, not them. Shawn knows them, and he won't let them call me or you anything mean, so..." She made a "funny" face, and Daryl's brows furrowed. "What?"
"The hell was that? You look more constipated than humorous."
"Oh, screw you!"
He laughed. "Ain't you ever made faces for any of them kids you watch?"
"All the time, and I must say, they find me hilarious."
"Here, try it like this."
They began to make funny/constipated faces at each other, laughing at how ugly or silly the other had made themselves look. Carol soon forgot she had to pee and that it was cold, and Daryl's twitching fingers stilled. They were having so much fun, laughing so loudly, and they had moved so close together. Daryl could smell that she had used scented soap when she showered, and her pink lips were pulling him in, that laugh burning away his nerves. He leaned forward, and—
"Hey!" Carol shot up as Shawn took a second photo of them. "Don't you dare take pictures now!"
"That's one for the yearbook, ladies and gents." He smirked. "I shall call it: Beasty and The Geek! Or Beast with his Geek. I don't know yet."
"Oh, you incredible asshole!" Carol ran after him. "Give me that!"
"Not likely!"
She stopped. "God, I have to pee so bad, but I swear to you that when we get home and I have regained full feeling and have used the bathroom, I will whip your ass, Shawn Tanner Harrison!"
"Okay, hobbly." He tucked the camera safely into his pocket. "C'mon, Beasty."
"Shut the fuck up, man." Daryl tossed Carol's stuff into the back and climbed in.
Carol moaned blissfully at the warmth and set her hands over the vents, Shawn told her to get a room, and she promptly smacked him for it while Daryl gazed out the window. They didn't talk much after, but they were enjoying the music Shawn was playing. It was one of their mom's favorite stations, and it was nice. It was the only one not heaving out Christmas songs.
"Stop here," Daryl told Shawn, making him stop a block away.
"But, Daryl, you live—" Carol began when her brother slowed the car.
"Stop here." He unbuckled his seat belt and climbed out when Shawn pulled over. "See you next year."
"Bye, Beasty." Shawn had plans for that picture. He really hoped Carol bought a yearbook this year.
Daryl flipped him off.
"Wait!" Carol struggled out of her death-belt. "Wait, wait, wait. God, this thing—"
Shawn managed to free her go. "Go on, Geekett."
"Oh, you'll pay for that. Later." She hopped up and ran after him, tackling him—mostly because she slid—in a hug from behind. She held on tightly, and his lips tugged as he felt her body warm against his. She smelled of gingerbread today, and he had a feeling his jacket would smell of gingerbread now too. "Not so fast, Beasty."
"Thought you had to pee and you're so cold."
"Well, I'll deal." She exhaled and held on for another second then released him. He faced her. "I'm gonna miss you so much. You have to come by the house and pick up a reindeer ball."
He snorted. "A what?"
She smiled. "Very mature, Dixon." She crossed her arms. "It's a white chocolate ball filled with peppermint bark and really creamy white chocolate." She lifted her hands up to her hair, only her index fingers out and wiggling. "With cute little milk chocolate-covered pretzel antlers."
He snorted. "Tssh, probably costs an arm and a leg I can't afford to lose just to buy the shit to just make it. Don't waste it on me."
"It's no waste! I will make it personally, and I'll put a cute little D wreath on it." She lowered her hands. "And by wreath, I mean a blur of green with a lumpy D."
He half-smiled. "Sounds good."
"And it's not as rich as it sounds, it's mostly sugar-free or some other stuff, but it still really good. We made a batch at Hershel's last week, and I can say there are none left. Shawn and Beth and Maggie and me just went to town on them. Mom was so mad, but they're so good! It's my grandma's thing. We carry on the tradition 'cause Dad loves them."
"Ethan loves just about everythin'."
"Okay, true, but still." She reached out and gripped his hand. "Come by, please?"
He glanced down at their hands and nodded. "Promise."
She smiled brighter and hugged him. "Good, 'cause I got you something."
"Carol." He groaned.
"And it's really crappy, so don't get grouchy!" It wasn't by any means crappy, but he was such a Grinch about Christmas. She didn't care, though. She was forcing this gift on him, whether or not he liked it. She really hoped he did. She'd spend months agonizing over what to get him, and she hoped and prayed that he would like it. "And happy holidays." She kissed his cheek. "Grinch."
"Get outta here," he teased.
She released him. "Stop by or I will hunt you down." She glared to make a point then turned and headed back to the car. She closed the door and found Shawn eying her while singing, "Tell it to my heart. Tell me I'm the only one. Is this really love or just a game?"
"Cute." She smiled. "Now drive before I bash your face into the steering wheel."
"We have plenty more song options," he reminded her.
"Then I am picking." She dug out the CDs from the glove compartment and found a song they both loved. They grew up to this and so many others. She slipped in and pushed next until she found the right song, and Shawn chuckled. "Do you want to start?"
"Oh, you know I do."
She smiled.
"Yeah, oooh, oooh." Shawn got into his zone, and Carol bit back a laugh. "Look at her. She's a bad mama jama. Just as fine as she can be."
Carol laughed and began to lip-sing as always. "She's a bad mama jama. Just as fine as she can be." She and Shawn had done more embarassing "car-dancing" that she could even remember. They used to do it with their mom on long trips when they were younger while their Dad prayed no one looked over and saw his weird-ass family, mocking them teasing and smiling, then somehow it became their thing. They were both incredibly lame, but it was their thing, so it was the best. But God help them should anybody see them like this.
– – –
"And thus we were 'Beasty and The Geek' until the sophomores ahead of us graduated," Carol finished. "Our senior year, we were just rude. Well, Daryl was rude, and I was just the girl that dated him."
"Ain't my fault they felt the need to stop right in front of you to hug somebody they saw five damn seconds ago," he retorted, having joined them halfway through the story. He was busy that morning, but he'd finished what he needed to and stopped by. He knew Carol was babysitting Paige for Amy, and he figured she would bring them here. He guessed right. "And they clumped up! I hated those halls, wanted to just set fire to 'em."
Sophia giggled.
"Don't be like your daddy, please." Carol stroked her hair. "Or you, little peanut."
"Uhh, Carol, you left something out," Shawn reminded her.
"No, I didn't." She glared at him.
"Yes, you did. I'll tell the actual story." He turned to the girls, adjusting Devon in his arms. "When we got home that evening, Carol admitted—for the first time—to hav—"
"Thin ice," she interrupted.
"You married the man," he pointed out. "You had his child and are currently carrying another of his children, so...I don't care."
"If you want to start spilling secrets, I'm sure Sasha would love to know all about that little—"
"Don't you dare," he growled.
"Then don't finish your sentence. The story is over." She closed the yearbook. "Unless Shawn wants to tell you about his freshmen year picture."
"No. I burned that yearbook, so nobody will ever see it." He smirked. "I was grounded for a month, but it was worth it."
"I thought you only bought your yearbooks in the first grade, eight grade and your senior year." Carol crossed her legs and set the yearbook in her lap.
"Carol, your nose was so buried in books, I'm surprised you even knew what day it was."
"Better books that where your nose was."
"We've address my cheese addiction. I'm getting help. I'm already off cream cheese."
"Yeah, okay."
"Yeah, even my fetus niece/nephew knows that a lie, but I'm trying." He averted his eyes. "And I'm lying again, but still, at least it's not drugs." He shrugged. "I thought about stop eating it, hated it the very thought and continue to do it, so at least I'm happy and somewhat healthy."
"Shawn, you give everyone hope that everyone can find love. Let's go eat." She stood up and headed to the dining room.
"Thanks, Carol, that means a lot. I sure hope that swelling goes down once the baby's born." He looked over the back of the chair. "Could one of you kind people bring me food?"
"No," Maggie and Carol shot back.
"Daryl?"
"Why bring you your lunch when I can eat it myself?" He rose and left for the dining room.
"Sophia?" Shawn pleaded.
Sophia hopped up, grabbed an eggroll on her way and stuck it in her uncle's mouth then returned to her plate.
"I'll never again question who her father is," Shawn said around the eggroll, though it was more garbled due to the eggroll.
– – –
Carol drove to Amy's house that night, Paige was asleep in the backseat with Sophia, and Daryl was picking at a hole in his jeans. She couldn't wait to get home. Sophia and Paige had worn her out, and the twins as well. She was surprised at how good Shawn was at the parent thing. She knew he would be good, but he was great with the twins. She wondered where this talent came from for one second, but figured Sasha probably tested him on it for the past few months. They were happy, and Carol knew her mom would have been so proud of Shawn. Annette was watching over them and smiling. Carol just knew she was.
Carol gently scooped up Paige, trying not to wake her, but she woke up the second Carol touched her. She didn't object to being picked up, just wrapped her arms around Carol's neck and closed her eyes, still sleepy. She carried Paige to the door and knocked. The door opened, and Felix smiled back at Carol.
"Hey." Carol entered the house. "Where's Amy?"
"She's getting some water." Fee took Paige from Carol. "I'll put her to bed."
"Wh—?"
Amy ran out of the kitchen and down the hall, Carol frowned and quickly followed and found Amy in the bathroom on her knees, gagging. Carol swept Amy's hair back and rubbed her back gently, Amy threw up something watery, and Carol averted her eyes, trying to distract herself.
"Are you okay?"
She nodded then took a deep breath and flushed, standing up using the edge of the counter. "I'm fine." She rinsed her mouth out with water and shuddered. "I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, but I figure it's either a cold or food poisoning. I think I'm sick."
"Why don't you go lie down? I'll bring you some tea. Or do you want some soup and dry toast?"
"I don't need a babysitter." She wiped her mouth on a washcloth. "Besides Fee made homemade soup, and that—" she pointed to the toilet briefly before she flushed it "—was the soup. I'm going to bed, but thank you for the offer and for watching Paige."
"Any time."
A beat.
"How are you? After Merle left, I mean." Carol crossed her arms.
"I knew this was coming." She shook her head. "Look, I'm sad, okay? But I'm not going to cry and eat my weight in ice cream, although that sounds good. The ice cream, not the crying. Chocolate ice cream with nuts and white chocolate chunks... Sorry. Ahem. I have a lot on my plate right now, and...I knew he was going to do this. I hate that I knew, but I did, so I can't be sad or mad really. It was a lot of pressure for me, so I can only imagine how it was for him." She shrugged. "If he comes back, I'm leaving it to Paige."
"What do you mean? Give her the power of yes or no?"
"Yep. I refuse to trust myself when it comes to Merle, so if Paige says she wants him in our life as a friend then we'll be friends. He can be in her life, be her father as much as he wants and my friend." She made a face. "I don't know if we can just be friends. We've never tried it, and I think I'll have to punch him in the face, you know after the long line of my family, Daryl and Felix."
Carol laughed. "Yeah, Daryl called it first."
She smiled. "He's going to be all bruised before he gets to me, isn't he?"
She shrugged a shoulder then met Amy's eyes. "If you need me, just call."
"I don't need anything but my to kiss my beautiful daughter goodnight and my soft bed. I'd walk you out, but I need to brush my teeth and take my medication with something I won't gag on."
"I hope you feel better." She rubbed Amy's back as she walked out of the room. "Sleep well."
"I intend to. You get some sleep too, and midnight snacks if you need them. Eat a cake donut for me, okay?"
Carol laughed. "Oh, I promise."
"I'll make sure she gets to the door and buys me a donut too." Felix walked Carol to the door.
"Likely. Do you live here now?" Carol teased.
"No, though I see more of this house than mine." He smirked as he walked her to the door. "You look beautiful for someone who played in hay."
"What?"
He reached over and plucked a straw off her shoulder. "Let's hope Rumpelstiltskin doesn't want your baby."
She smiled. "Amy told you?"
"No. You just look a little pale, but you've got that glow." He returned her smile. "Congrats."
"Thank you. Have a good night, Felix."
"You too. Drive safe."
"I will." She stepped back and jogged to the car, giving Daryl a warm smile before slipping inside.
– – –
Caesar tossed the keys in to the air and caught them over and over, waiting for his friend to arrive and getting both impatient and bored. He caught them once more and checked his watch, distantly hearing boots on the stairs. He looked up and spotted his friend, an hour late. "It's about damn time, vato."
He smirked. "I ain't your vato."
"Not anymore." Caesar returned his smirk. "Get your ass over here. Think you'll like the place."
"It's just temporary."
"Better be." He unlocked the door to the apartment. "Here." He tossed him the keys. "Call me once your settled. I gotta pick up my kids."
He gave a nod and set his bag down on the floor. "Hey."
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Ain't too shabby for a beaner."
He chuckled. "Get outta here."
Caesar closed the door and left.
Merle glanced around the apartment. "Home sweet home."