Harue 3: Expectations and Ambitions
"Not much happened in my second year," Harue said. "We won against Anzio and Waffle, but lost to Pravda in the semifinals."
"And Pravda went on to win the tournament," Masae said. "With that in mind, Akado-sensei, Saunders did quite well that year."
"Perhaps, but we still felt as though we weren't able to challenge the top schools," Harue said. "Over time, I began to want to change that in any way that I could, and I was no longer certain just doing my best as a tank commander would be enough."
Ami nodded, pondering what she had just heard. She and Harue were less different than she thought, as Ami had developed a passion for and enjoyment of tankery not unlike what many people like Harue had, and Harue had, in the past, grown somewhat ambitious like many Nishizumi disciples were.
"In my third year, I became my team's commander," Harue said, "through a process not unlike that of Black Forest. Prospective candidates for commander have an interview with the current commander and coach, and also field questions from the entire team. They are ultimately chosen based on several factors, such as skill, leadership qualities, how well respected they are among the team, and their personal values."
As Harue mentioned the last item, Takako gave a skeptical frown, while Ami seemed intrigued, and Masae nodded in agreement.
"That's an interesting system, Akado-sensei," Masae said. "Kumakura-sensei implemented the opportunity for team members ask candidates for the commander position questions a few years ago."
"Of course, there is one thing that matters most of all," Harue said. "The candidates for commander are in competition with each other, and only the one who is deemed the best fit will be chosen. In competing with one of my friends to prove that I was the best able to lead Saunders to victory, I took a step away from doing tankery for fun... and to some degree, began losing sight of my initial reasons for doing it."
11 years ago
Harue let off a sigh of relief as she walked away from the question and answer session with Nozomi. The entire process had lasted an hour, split between the two candidates for leadership.
"Wow, that took a while," Nozomi said. "It must have been tiring to actually be the one answering all the questions."
"Well, it's essentially asking about what you'd do as commander," Harue said. "To show that I'm taking those questions seiously, and so I'd be ready, I spent a lot of time preparing for the various questions that they'd ask. I prepared answers to all the ones I expected, such as what I expect of the team, and all the difficult ones, such as about my tankery experience."
"So do you think you felt prepared?" Nozomi said.
"Mostly," Harue said, "although that one girl, whom I believe was a third-year, caught me off guard with a question about how I'd deal with a loss."
"Ah, yes," Nozomi said, noticing that Harue's confident facade had slipped for a moment when she was faced with that question. Of course, the same was true to some extent of her rival.
"I stand by my answer- that we should be good sports and learn from the defeat," Harue said. "But honestly, it seems that we're merely making the most of a bad situation in that case. We should be doing everything we can so that it doesn't come to that."
"I honestly hadn't expected to hear that from you before now, Harue," Nozomi said. "Before you'd just been about doing as well as you can."
"Well, Nozomi, I think of it as taking the reality of the situation into account," Harue said. "Only one candidate will be chosen, and next year will be our last shot at the championship. When the winner takes all, you naturally think more about becoming that winner than what will happen if you lose."
"I suppose so," Nozomi said. "In any case, it's up to the coach and outgoing commander now."
Harue simply nodded. The decision was out of her hands now, and worrying about it served no purpose.
A few days later, Harue was called into the coach's office and informed that for the next year- her last of high school- she would command the team. After practice, the opposing candidate, Hillary, met with Harue and Nozomi.
"Congratulations, Harue," Hillary said. "The coach chose our new commander well."
"Thank you," Harue said. "You seem like you're taking this fairly well."
"Why wouldn't I?" Hillary said. "When I was asked how I handled defeat, I did say that we all had to endure defeat and rejection, and we should do so honorably. This probably came off as too defeatist and likely played a factor in me being passed over, but I stand by it and practice what I preach."
"That's a good principle," Harue said.
"But really, I'm still on the team, and I'm still committed to helping Saunders win," Hillary said. "I'll be counting on you to lead us well, Harue."
Harue nodded, pleased that her rival had accepted the result and become one of her supporters. But while she found Hillary's confidence encouraging, she also believed she would have to prove that it was well placed.
Present day
"Saunders does seem relatively informal, Akado-sensei," Yoshiko said. "I'm not sure if it's compared to the JGSDF, or just my imagination."
"No, i think it would naturally seem that way to outsiders, Captain Kainou," Harue said. "It's partly due to the American theme, but Saunders students and faculty are laid back compared to most, and among Japanese high schools, it has the highest ratings for employee satisfaction."
"I must admit that I'm a bit surprised to hear that your school does as well as it does with that attitude," Takako said.
"Kay, our commander this past year, once said something that explains why," Harue said. "She said that she fights as hard as she does to prove that we can win our way, even if there are more important things than winning, and to prove that we're an opponent that should be taken seriously despite doing tankery for fun. Of course, we did end up losing this year, but to a team that was perhaps even more informally organized than ours."
"Ah, yes," Masae said. "I'm not sure I would have been suited to lead or coach Oarai the way I am."
"That said, the year I was commander, I was under some pressure to succeed," Harue said. "Around this time- but I can't remember when, exactly- I learned that Saunders had a great deal of support for its tankery team, getting tanks from the US. As a result of this, the school's administration hoped that we would be a popular and successful team, to prove that the money and resources invested in us were not wasted."
"Or else what?" Yoshiko said in English. As a soldier, she knew that defeats in wartime would cost the lives of many soldiers and potentially result in defeat for one's nation. So what were tankery practitioners in high school, who were too young to fight for their country, fighting to avoid?
"That's a good question, Captain Kainou," Harue said. "But I had no desire to find out, nor did I end up doing so. In spite of how I ended up feeling, the administration approved of our performance. We defeated Blue Division and BC Freedom in the first two rounds, but our greatest glory came after defeating St. Gloriana, the school that had defeated us in my first year. It was a big deal beating them, and to celebrate, we threw a party- a Boston Tea Party."
10 years ago
In the Saunders school pool, Harue, Nozomi, and a few other of the higher-ranking members of the Saunders tankery team arrived, having painted their faces and wearing headdresses along with their school uniforms. Their costumes were hastily made, even compared to the disguises the colonists had adopted about 232 years before.
"In 1773, the British government put a tax on all teas," Harue said. "But to that, I say- who drinks this stuff?" Harue then smashed one of the "tea crates"- in actuality, a cardboard box, on her knee and threw it in the pool.
"Harue, is it true that they have a Black Tea Garden in which people get nicknames based on tea?" Nancy, a Saunders commander who was in her third year, said.
"That's right," Harue said. "Apparently, membership is highly exclusive, and you get a tea-based nickname if you get in."
"Pretentious!" Noyori Risa, a fellow third-year, said. She was a girl of few words, and it seemed that there was only one she felt appropriately described it.
"Supposedly, you qualify based on your grades and performance in tankery," Harue continued, "but I've also heard rumors that admission is also based on who you know. So it's entirely likely that few, if any, of you would make it in." Harue then smirked. "But I have one thing to say to that. Keep your Black Tea Garden. Keep your teas and your nicknames based off of them. We have something even better- a victory in the semifinals, and a shot at the championship!"
The other students smashed the rest of the crates, and cheers went up from the rest of the students.
Harue looked around and saw all of them celebrating, almost as though they had won the tournament already. But a part of her still wanted to go farther, and worried that they were growing complacent.
As the celebration wound down and the cleanup began, Tezuka Taeko, the coach of the team, turned to Harue.
"You seem a little worried, Harue," Taeko said.
"I am, Tezuka-sensei," Harue said. "Black Forest's significantly stronger than St. Gloriana, so we won't win as easily in the finals. Considering that our victory over St. Gloriana was by no means easy, we might not repeat the feat against Black Forest."
"Maybe not," Taeko said. "There are many challengers unlucky enough to get Black Forest right off the bat, and even if their numbers are even, they don't necessarily win. Even if we don't win, I think this performance is one we, as a team, can be proud of."
"You might be right, sensei," Harue said. "But isn't it human nature to always try for more, to keep improving yourselves?"
Taeko nodded.
"I do what I can to help all of you improve," she said. "Of course, there are some lessons that you ultimately have to learn yourselves, such as when you make mistakes. I can tell you some of the times you made mistakes, but it's ultimately up to you to find the lessons you need to learn and take them to heart."
Harue nodded, unsure of what to say to that. The coach was not asking a question that required an answer. She was giving Harue advice, but it was a lesson that would take time and experience for Harue to understand.
And yet, Harue saw the coming finals as her last chance, and possibly the school's best opportunity to win the tournament. She had to know what she needed to know and do what she needed to do in order to win, for the sake of those who were counting on and rooting for her.
Present day
"It was occasion worth celebrating, since it was the first time we'd defeated such a strong opponent," Harue said. "But even so, I knew that our next and final opponent was even stronger. Because of that, I couldn't help but want to defeat them, as well, even considering what the coach had said. So you should have some idea of how I took losing to Black Forest."
"That happens sometimes," Masae said. "A team might end up doing well the entire tournament, but then run into Black Forest, and feel as though they're facing an opponent in an entirely different league. My elder daughter, Hiroe, can attest to that, having lost to Black Forest two times in three years. Of course, she's bounced back from her defeats, and even has recently befriended Nishizumi Maho, her long-time nemesis in tankery."
"Your daughter's certainly persistent," Harue said. "Regarding my rival, I also remember the first time I met Instructor Chouno, who seemed quite different from the kind of person I thought would be a skilled Nishizumi School student or military officer."
10 years ago
The pre-game greetings before the finals began, and Harue, at the head of her team, walked forward to meet with Ami.
Ami carried herself with a sense of grace and dignity that she would eventually carry over to her military service. While Black Forest had defeated Pravda in the previous round, succeeding where they had failed the previous year, there was no hint of arrogance in Ami to suggest that she thought herself better than her predecessor, her defeated rival, or her current opponent.
"Akado Harue-san?" Ami said. "It's nice to meet you. "I am Chouno Ami, a third-year and commander of Black Forest."
"Nice to meet you too, Chouno-san," Harue said. "Let's have a good game."
The two commanders, and their tank commander subordinates, bowed on the signal. As Harue rose, she noticed a variety of faces among the assembled Black Forest tank commanders. Some eyed her arrogantly, thinking of her as another weak opponent that was about to be crushed. Others seemed indifferent, seeing winning as their duty and being prepared to go out and fight; Harue noticed Takako as one such person, but did not recognize her until years later. But several of them- more than Harue had expected, appeared warm and inviting, glad to see a new challenger rise up to face them.
As Harue glanced about, she noticed Ami extending a hand, the handshake being an encouraged but not obligatory part of the pre-battle greetings. Harue, slightly surprised, took Ami's hand and shook it.
Harue walked away, thinking about her encounter with Ami. Not all members of Black Forest were like the elitist and arrogant commander Harue had faced in her first year. Perhaps in another time, another place, Ami and Harue might have become teammates.
But right here, right now, Harue knew Ami was also a disciple of a tankery school that was determined to win at all costs. As her school had lost last year, she was determined to redeem Black Forest in the eyes of high school tankery fans, and uphold the Nishizumi school's honor. Such determination made her a difficult opponent, but it also meant that she, more than anyone else, was the opponent Harue had to overcome to prove that underdogs could prevail and those who played their game could win against those with a single-minded determination to win.
Present day
"I had met some of my school's other rivals on friendly terms before our match, save for St. Gloriana's commander, who looked down on us," Harue said. "And yet, I wasn't quite expecting such an amicable meeting with the commander of Black Forest."
Ami nodded.
"It's not quite so surprising when you think about it, Akado-san," Ami said. "I may be duty-bound to strive for victory at all costs, but that does not mean that I should take it personally when others strive for victory for their own reasons. Perhaps some Nishizumi students do get arrogant about their school's track record, seeing the non-Nishizumis as inferior and having superficial reasons to fight, but I didn't feel that way."
Takako nodded in tacit agreement.
"Nor did I," Kikuyo said. "Rather than thinking of the battle as a chance to defeat my enemies, I wanted to support my friends and my school."
"Lots of people do, Kagurazaki-san," Harue said, "and only one school can succeed in the end. This battle drove home that harsh reality, and I took it harder than most."
10 years ago
The battle took place in a plain adjoining an urban battlefield. It was in some ways similar to the Mt. Fuji tank training area, and some essentially said that it was the knockoff brand version.
Saunders and Black Forest started far apart, and both sides raced across the field to get to opportune locations in the setting.
Harue found that a lot of time to wait meant a lot of time to think, and worry. She was reminded of the time when she waited for the individual interview with the coach at Saunders. As she spent fifteen minutes sitting in a chair outside the office her mind went through a myriad of worries, from whether the coach would ask her questions she could answer well, to whether her appearance was appropriate.
It just so happened, though, that Harue's favorite means of warding off such thoughts was keeping herself occupied. Back then, she had read a tankery magazine until she was called. Now, she still had to stay alert for the enemy. Keeping her mind on the task helped keep her mind off any other distractions, and staying focused was all the more important here.
On the edge of the town, with buildings as cover, the Saunders forces took up defensive positions and waited for the advance of Black Forest. If the initial assault went well, so would the rest of the battle. Saunders had secured their victory over St. Gloriana in large part because some of the enemy's stronger tanks, including their Churchills, had been disabled in the initial salvo, and Harue hoped the strategy would work again.
As the Black Forest column advanced, Harue's forces opened fire on them from a distance.
"I know I'm asking a great deal of everyone to hit at this distance," Harue thought, "but we're going to have to hit early and often for this to work."
From the top hatch of her tank, Harue surveyed the area with binoculars, and saw most of the rounds fall short. A few of them struck Black Forest's tanks, to no significant effect. The tanks slowly emerged from the clouds of smoke, running over the craters made by the shells that fell short of their targets, and continued their relentless advance.
Disappointed, Harue ordered the tanks to fire at will as their enemies approached. They had a limit on how many shells they could use, but if the Black Forest tanks disabled one of theirs, all of the remaining shells in a tank would essentially become unusable.
Shots rang out from Harue's tanks, and more of them hit their mark. Harue saw fewer tanks emerging from the smoke and heading toward their position than before. She saw the answer as three Black Forest tanks raised the white flag.
Black Forest's heavier tanks advanced, seemingly undeterred by the resistance they faced, and returned fire. The shots were fired calmly, and precisely, almost as though they were on the target range. And as the shots struck home, knocking out several of Saunders' tanks.
As she heard the blasts of the shells far closer to her tank than she would have liked, Harue began to despair. Saunders boasted that it had some of the best American World War II-era tanks that money could buy, but they were not holding up to the might of Black Forest's German tanks.
"Orders, Harue?" Hillary said over the radio. "You know what to do here!"
Shortly after Hillary said this, she made one last shot from her Firefly, disabling a Jagdpanther, before an Elefant fired and took her tank out of the game with a forceful shot. Saunders had many strong American tanks, but they were still unable to stand up to the powerful German tanks that Black Forest employed. In spite of that disadvantage, and regardless of whether she could win, Hillary had chosen to fight, to contribute in her own way to Saunders' effort, even if it would prove fruitless in the end.
Regardless of whether Hillary had essentially sacrificed herself or had gone down fighting, what had happened was not lost on Nozomi.
"Come on, Harue," Nozomi said. "You're usually better than this."
Nozomi's statement, like Hillary's, did not help Harue better understand the problem facing her or find a solution. But both statements contained undeniable truths. Harue had been chosen for the position of commander, entrusted with everyone's hopes of winning, so now it was time to act like a person who was worthy of that responsibility and that trust.
Saunders was in a fighting retreat, heading toward the winding streets of the city in hopes of getting a more opportune place to attack Black Forest, so that they could strike their enemies where they were most vulnerable.
The Elefant fired once again, taking out one of the Sherman stragglers, as the Black Forest advance continued undeterred, even as covering fire took out a few other Black Forest tanks. The main body of the Black Forest force pressed onward, far less deterred by the casualties than Saunders was. Harue came to the sobering realization that unlike most of Black Forest's rivals, Saunders had tanks that could compete with Black Forest', so it all came down to crew skill.
"I really had no idea what I was up against," Harue thought, remembering that she had never faced Black Forest in all her years of high school. "What sort of harsh training did they have to go through to get discipline like that?"
Harue counted how many tanks she had left. Only six of her tanks remained, and to get to the flag tank, they would have to cut through the main body of the Black Forest forces- a dozen of their tanks remained in action. How could they succeed with so few when all of their tanks had been outfought thus far? It was like trying to defeat a knight in full plate mail while wielding a sword that had broken on the knight's armor.
Harue's tank charged out of the cover, toward the flag tank, accompanied by the five remaining tanks. She mentally calculated the odds of success, but realized that not only was it difficult, but it was also irrelevant. Either her plan would succeed or it would not. Either she would win in spite of all her casualties at this point, or her school would end up as just another runner-up in the tournament.
"Perhaps we'd have better odds if I'd been playing better all along, or if I'd prepared my team better," Harue thought. "But this desperate effort is both the most I can do and the least my team deserves at this juncture."
With that final thought, Harue put all others out of her mind as she charged toward the Black Forest flag tank. She knew she was asking a great deal of her gunner when the time came to fire a shot on Ami's flag tank, but she believed her gunner understood the situation as well as she did.
The Black Forest tanks instinctively opened fire, taking out the two Sherman tanks in front of Harue almost immediately. Two more surged forward, firing and disabling two of the tanks in the front. Another Sherman went to the side, before being shot and disabled by a hastily aimed shell. At extremely close range, the Black Forest tanks fired, stopping the others cold, but Harue's tank slipped through a gap in the Black Forest lines, like a blade slipping through a weak spot in a suit of plate mail. The tanks she just passed quickly tried to turn their turrets to face the opponent, but they were turning too slowly.
Harue now had a window of opportunity that would last only a second, as she took aim at the flag tank at the back of the group. With so many enemy tanks so close by, she had to take the first shot that she had, and hope it disabled the tank.
Harue's gunner took aim at the Black Forest flag tank. The Sherman's gun had the power to pierce the armor of Black Forest's German tanks, but it had to be well placed for the system to recognize the tank as destroyed.
Having gotten as close as she could, and given the gunner as much time to aim as the situation allowed, Harue ordered her to fire.
The shot sailed through the air, scored a glancing blow on the flag tank, and exploded.
In the next moment, several Black Forest tank guns, all trained on Harue, fired in unison.
A series of almost deafening explosions occurred, and Harue's tank was shrouded in smoke.
Two white flags raised. One was on a Black Forest tank that had accidentally been struck by friendly fire- the scoring system did not distinguish between disabling hits scored by allies or enemies.
The other was on Harue's flag tank.
As Harue examined the Black Forest flag tank and the damage to the tank, she realized that the tank had been severely damaged, but not enough to trigger the white flag that would have granted her victory in the match and the tournament.
"Black Forest wins the tournament!" the announcer said.
Present day
"The battle was relatively short for a final match," Harue said, "not to mention somewhat one-sided, at least from my perspective as the loser. I honestly felt as though we hadn't made any progress in catching up to your school over the last two years, and that we didn't make an effort worthy of a second-placer."
"You may be surprised to hear this, Akado-san," Ami said, "but we were far less confident in our chances of success than we seemed to you. The tanks, on the outside, seem imposing, utilitarian and devoid of emotion, but inside, their crews can be desperate, confused, angry, and experiencing all sorts of emotions one feels in battle. The same goes with even Black Forest and the Nishizumi school; we all are only human, after all."
"When we were advancing on you, we noticed that your forces had not been completely broken yet," Takako said. "We ended up losing over half our tanks, which is hardly an easy victory by our standards. And when you made your last-ditch assault, there was still a chance of you winning, unlike most of our opponents."
That last statement gave Harue pause as she wondered what might have happened if she had gotten a decisive hit in, but she cleared it from her mind. She had spent too much time dwelling on what might have been.
"All things considered, you did fairly well against us," Ami said. "The circumstances were relatively favorable to us, but you did your best. That was also an especially bold final effort. Most teams, if they hadn't essentially given up, wouldn't have had the resolve to try to throw everything into one last effort at victory."
"I agree," Masae said. "Black Forest had improved since the previous year, as I saw when they defeated Pravda in the semifinals. I believed you could prevail, Akado-sensei, and since that tournament, Saunders has become one of my favorite schools in the high school tankery tournament."
"Thank you for the kind words," Harue said. "Unfortunately, back then, I wasn't in the proper frame of mind to appreciate them. Ambition to do what others had previously thought impossible had gotten the better of me. Unable to achieve what I set out to do, I had little to do except reflect on my failure."
Author's Notes
I'd like to thank Stalker117 for beta reading this.
This battle was something of a balancing act, in showing Harue decisively defeated, but having put on a showing that Ami could have some respect for, not unlike her match with Sukoya in the semifinals in Saki canon.