Sitting on the floor, her back to the now closed bathroom door, Lisbon was crying herself to exhaustion. Since Vega's death everything seemed out of place, everything was going insane, she was going insane. Since their arguing in the office after he took her off the Lydon case, they hadn't been able to sort anything out, the tension between her and Jane was thick and sickening.

In the bedroom Jane had two choices, the first one was to simply leave her place and go brood in his airstream, and the second one was to face their relationship and the wall they were meeting. Leaving was the bad choice and he knew it, especially regarding to the event of precedent week. He knew he had to stand in front of Lisbon's fury, but he knew he would not leave her home, not now, not before having found a small step to something better even if it would be settling things only for an hour or two.

Reaching the bathroom Jane could clearly hear Lisbon's despair cry behind the door. His heart tightened, while his forehead and his hands hit the door with a small thud, letting her know he was still there. Inside Lisbon didn't care anymore to be heard or not, she didn't care that he was there or not, she could only felt a huge loneliness surrounding and suffocating her. Outside Jane sat down matching Lisbon's posture, waiting not knowing for what, but still waiting.

"Teresa... I'm sorry for yelling at you... I got so scared... I am so scared...", Jane was whispering behind the door knowing she would probably not hear him. Despite her crying, which had weakened, she caught his words, the sadness and remorse in his voice. Why did they have to experience that? Why couldn't it be light and free after so many years struggling?

"Words can hurt more than fist, you know...", was all she replied softly and weary after a long minute of silence.

"... I know...", he sighed.

There were nothing else to say, they were both hurt and worn. Standing up in the same time on each side of the bathroom door, they both turned the handle simultaneously, finding themselves facing each other. Lisbon had her head down avoiding deliberately to look at him and passed him as soon as he let her the space, to head to her room. Accepting the turn of the event for now and unwilling to pursue the fight, he let her pass and followed her in the room. He watched as wincing she took her initial posture in the bed, laying on her left side, covering herself from head to toe with the sheet. Disregarding her wish, he took place in her bed as well, letting her know that he wouldn't leave and surely wouldn't give up working on their relationship.

The sleep came late for both of them, nothing was said, without touching they just shared the silence and loneliness of the night. The night was studded with nightmares from Lisbon, from which she didn't wake up, but only reassured and eased by delicate words and touches from Jane. For him most of the night was punctuated with whimpers and continuous moves from her, and he only ended falling asleep in the early morning hours.

She woke up finding herself in his warm and sheltered embrace. It felt good. Sinking deeper in his arm she enjoyed for few more minutes that protection and love feeling, that she yesterday thought she had lost. Extricate herself from that haven wasn't an easy task, Jane's grip being firm and her wish not to wake him was as strong as her wish to stay in his hugging arms forever. Before dressing up she looked at him with love and despair, noticing the worry on his face mixed with the laughing wrinkles that had deepened with the years. Oh she loved that man with all her soul, but she still had to figure out how, or even if, it was possible everyday for the rest of her life. Unwilling to face him and start another argument or explanation, she got dressed as fast as she was able to and left her home in search of a nice place nearby to sip her first cup of coffee.

.-.-.-.-.

NB: The story continues! For the other story, that some of you want to follow (Journey), I will try to continue writing it. I have ideas to where it goes, but I cannot write two stories at the same time, it's 1. confusing, 2. hard on a language matter. So thank you for your patience!

Thank you also for all the comments you want to leave me ;-)