Most of the week-end was passed with eating, sleeping, walking in the nature and making love. The need to touch was more primary than anything else, as if they both needed to forget the past weeks and their unresolved future vision. The hotel facilities in small cabin Jane had found was a good mixture of both their likings, a cosy modern bedroom for her, surrounded by the nature for him. Jane had dreamed enjoying a nice week-end with her and was relieved that Lisbon had the same pleasure to share all day and night with him.

Before leaving on Sunday afternoon, they decided to have another small walk to enjoy the sun and its heat.

"We should think of moving together at some point...", Lisbon said nonchalantly as if she was talking about the weather. They both stood still and before Jane could speak his opinion, Lisbon went on, hesitating this time, "I... I mean you are practically living at my place... But nothing hurry of course... It was just an idea...". He was still amazed to discover how Lisbon could be so confident a minute turning doubtful the next.

"Well that would help... It's definitely a huge step...", he answered the same way he did when she proposed him her key. He was touched but knew better to show anything else as a warm smile.

"But...", and Lisbon couldn't talk anymore.

"But what?"

"..."

"Teresa, come on, I can see that something is bothering you. You know I would love to live with you, I mean like something permanent", Jane told her his hands cupping now her cheek so she could look at him, "and I know that it scares you. I mean I... I'm also scared, but I'm confident that we are going to find the right path. Maybe moving together is the first step...", he was now daydreaming, looking at the horizon. "We could go find a nice place that suits both of us, move wherever we wish, even restore a small cabin in California...", He was now smiling brightly, sparkles in his eyes, his turn to be confident. On the contrary Lisbon was breaking down pieces by pieces. She was dazed by his words, 'wherever', 'California', did he forget that she had a job here and not willing to lose it? Back to square one, back to the cemetery.

Witnessing the fall of her face, he closed his eyes feeling completely stupid he could slap himself. What the hell has he been thinking!

"Listen Teresa, I'm sorry I've been carried away... See how excited I am with your idea", he tried to alleviate the mood again.

For a nanosecond a very tiny smile appeared on Lisbon's face, before her eyes closed and her brows furrowed, she was now controlling herself not to loose control to anger or to tears. Breathing as slowly as she could master, deaf to what surrounded her, she faintly noticed Jane helping her to seat on the grass and lean against a tree.

"Easy now Love...", his concerned voice didn't even reached her ears.

Sitting at her side, head down, he waited for her to emerge from her stoic state, sighing softly and dreading what was to come. To his surprise after what seemed like an eternity, face unreadable Lisbon stood up and began to walk back to the Hotel Parking lot. Jane nearly had to run to catch with her. He seized her sleeve gently for her to turn around. Harshly she freed her arm from his touch and faced him, anger and sadness written on her face.

"Teresa, come on, you know I didn't want to argue with you... We had... We have such a wonderful time here, reconnecting... I would love to share a home with you..."

"Really? Well I guess we don't have the same expectation when we mention 'moving together'", she cut in a contained ire, "for me you see, it means sharing the everyday life, enjoying the presence of the other one, being supportive in each other's life and together in our life... For you it seems to be synonym with me quitting my job to follow your life."

"I know it didn't come out like it should have..."

"You mean that you changed your mind about me doing that job?", she said in a cold challenging tone.

Jane sighed deeply, "it's not that easy and you know it. I can't see you hurt... I... I just don't want to loose you. I cannot stand seeing you dying...", his voice was now a whisper.

Rising her casted arm and looking at him smiling,"Oh yes, right because I'm the best proof that being hurt can only happen on the job!", sarcasm was not her best tune he decided.

"Well as you point that out yourself, will you finally tell me what happened exactly to you?", his own frustration was making its way out.

"Oh now you are deflecting! Well it doesn't work like that Jane! The truth is that you cannot accept who I am. You think it's easy to seize every day without trying not to be deceived, trying not to expect anything of the next day? You think I don't know what it's like to loose, to grieve like you are dying? Do you think it's easy for me to trust that tomorrow you'll still be here?!", she was now screaming, shaking and crying, her control completely gone.

He was struck by her words and terrified of her condition. Not sure she would like to be touched, he waited a bit for her to calm down.

"Maybe we should discuss that in another place... Let's head to your place or find a cafe... Teresa?"

"There is nothing to discuss further, I'm done talking and I just want to go home". Still shaking, tears still streaming down her cheeks, she went to reach the car. His own unshed tears shining, he followed her, cursing himself to have spoiled their perfect week-end and maybe their future together.

.-.-.-.-.

NB: Angst is back... Sorry but their path-finding is a process. I hope you are still enjoying the story, please let me know! Still don't own TM...

Thank you for the new reviews and followers! It was indeed my first m section. Maybe there will be some other later in the story...
Regarding the little game... Well sorry Janine wrong guess! I like your name though ;-)