Masae 10: Unpleasant Inevitability
Around the table, the mood turned somber as they realized the difficult part would come soon. They had just received their appetizers, and anxiously awaited Masae's next statement, the lead-in to the most difficult and important part.
"Life went back to normal after we visited my parents," Masae said, "but we soon found ourselves thinking ahead, to arrange the visit with my husband' parents. We had to make the preparations to go there, and prepare ourselves for how to deal with his parents."
"What kind of preparations?" Miho said.
"We did some roleplaying and went over some of the questions his parents might ask me," Masae said. "Masaru played the role of his father, although a few times, he had Kanako and her cousin Shinichi play his parents, while he practiced answering questions alongside me. His father also made it clear that he expected me to dress nicely, and traditionally, so I had to get a kimono. And since the Suzuki family lived in Miyagi Prefecture, while my parents and I lived in Hokkaido ever since we moved while I was in high school, we had to travel over there and book a hotel room."
"You didn't stay in his home?" Maho said.
"No," Masae said. "My husband's room had been converted to a guest bedroom. He was also somewhat leery of the accommodations I would get from his family, and wanted a backup plan in case something went wrong and we needed a place to stay."
Miho and Maho's expressions turned concerned.
"Yes, even back then I had some idea of how it would turn out, as much as I hoped it would not come to that," Masae said. "My husband and I practiced under the assumption that his parents would ask me questions that I could potentially answer well enough to curry favor with them. But back then, I wondered if even this was overly optimistic, since while he knew well what kind of people his parents were, he couldn't predict how they would view me with perfect accuracy."
Masae had, in the years since then, realized that she should have more actively prepared for the possibility of a hopeless scenario. In recent years, she decided to implement a "no-win" scenario as a training exercise to teach her students how to deal with failure. Hiroe was used in a test run with a few alumni as her crewmates, and found it a somewhat humbling experience.
"I thought as much, Instructor Atago," Miho said. "I still remember what you told us last night, but I can't help but hope for a different ending."
Miho was reminded of when she went to her middle school's production of 'Romeo and Juliet', and heard the prologue that stated that the two young lovers would each die by their own hand. Despite knowing this, Miho still fervently hoped for a happy ending.
"I sympathize, Miho," Masae said. "I often get this reaction from those who hear this story, and I understand why you in particular would have this hope. But I learned this day that there are some battles that could not be won, in spite of all my efforts."
19 years ago
Inside the hotel room Masae and Masaru shared, Masae looked herself over, checking her hair, her makeup and her outfit- a blue kimono with a flower pattern- while Masaru wore a dark suit with a red necktie.
It had taken them over a day to get there, but they had arrived in the early afternoon, with a few hours to spare. After getting dressed, they had done one last "dress rehearsal," with Masaru playing the roles of both of his parents. In spite of all their preparation, Masae still felt less than completely prepared.
"I think we've done enough," Masaru said. "How are you feeling, Masae?"
"A bit uncomfortable," Masae said. "I wear a suit regularly, and have gotten used to wearing dresses on our dinners out, but this is something else entirely. It's quite constrictive, so I naturally took it with a grain of salt when I was told it fit me."
"I understand," Masaru said. "Still, you look beautiful."
"Thank you," Masae said with a smile. "It's a different kind of beauty from other kinds of formal wear. I haven't worn one since my Coming of Age Day ceremony, but I wouldn't mind doing so again for you."
Masae found kimonos to be beautiful, but also impractical. As it was fairly difficult for her to walk around and do tasks that seemed effortless in one, she could barely imagine crewing a tank in one.
"I must admit that I feel a bit uneasy, if your family is the kind to insist on my wearing this, on top of everything else you told me about them," Masae said. "We haven't even met them, and there are still many expectations for me to meet."
Masaru sighed.
"I'm not going to say something foolishly optimistic like 'everything will be fine,' because that's not likely to happen," Masaru said, before his somber frown turned to a reassuring smile. "But I believe that you'll do your best, Masae."
Masae nodded. She and Masaru then left the hotel for the parking lot, and began the drive over to Masaru's home.
During the course of the drive, Masae's head kept going over all the preparations she had made with Masaru, and wondered if they would end up doing any good. But then she flashed back to what he had said before they had left. They would do their best, and let the Suzukis judge them as they wished.
Masae and Masaru's rented car pulled up to the gate of the Suzuki home and Masaru identified himself. The security guard opened the gate to the estate, and directed Masaru to a parking space.
Masae could not help but feel slightly in awe of the security system. The neighborhood in which she had grown up, and the one in which her parents now lived, were both relatively safe and clean communities, but did not boast this level of security.
The car pulled into the parking lot for guests, and Masae and Masaru got out, walking toward the front door. Masae looked around, noticing the size of the home now that she was closer to it.
At the front door, they were greeted by an older man in a dark suit. Masae recognized him from Masaru's description, and knew that he was Samejima, the Suzuki family butler.
"Welcome home, Masaru-sama, and honored guest," Samejima. "The master, the mistress and Ayane-sama are anticipating your arrival. I regret to inform you that the young master, Reito-sama, is out of the country on a business trip."
"Thank you, Samejima," Masaru said.
As Samejima showed them to a room where they could wait, Masae looked around the compound, a stately and traditional Japanese style home that was intimidatingly large. It vaguely reminded Masae of a traditional Japanese castle in terms of aesthetics and security. Masae found the interior to be clean and quite beautiful, but it seemed oddly large and empty for a family of five, even taking the help into account. It was a nice house, but did Masaru ever see it as a home?
Masaru and Masae took their seats in a room that had several pieces of art in it, but very few personal touches to speak of.
A young woman with dark hair in a bun, who was wearing a kimono, approached Masae and Masaru as they sat, waiting for Masaru's parents. Masae wondered if the woman was the princess of the castle, so to speak, and reflexively stood up to greet her, as Masaru followed suit.
"Masaru, it has been a few months," the woman said flatly.
"It's good to be home, Onee-sama," Masaru said, as he and Masae stood up to greet her. As Masaru paused, the woman said nothing in response. "Onee-sama, I would like to present Atago Masae, my girlfriend. Masae, this is Kitagawa Ayane, my older sister."
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Kitagawa-san," Masae said, bowing deeply. In order to make a good impression on her future in-laws, she spoke in a manner that was almost as formal and old-fashioned as her attire, and functioned similarly for the hopes of currying favor with her husband's family.
Ayane said nothing. Masae had to wonder- was this how she treated everyone she just met? Was this how she usually greeted her brother despite not seeing him in a while? Or was Ayane merely less than receptive to Masae, a relative stranger?
"So is she your girlfriend, Masaru?" Ayane said, and Masaru nodded. "It will be a difficult sell convincing Mother and Father to accept her."
"I understand, Onee-sama," Masaru said. "She is committed to making a good impression on Mother and Father."
"Do you, really?" Ayane said. "Our parents have been clear about the many expectations they have of us, and you fulfill so few of them."
Masae noticed that Ayane seemed quite at ease in her kimono.
"I can only do what I can," Masaru replied. "Our brother inherited the family and is meeting all their expectations, so I hardly see why they are this concerned about us."
"Reito may be heir to the family, but we all serve in different ways," Ayane said. "Our parents may not have had an arranged marriage for you, but they have their own plan for you, and their own expectations. Perhaps if you understood that much, you would be in their good graces."
Ayane walked off. Masae found it puzzling, almost paradoxical, that someone so subservient to her family could act as though she was superior to her brother and potential sister-in-law. Perhaps her character was best shown by her interactions with those whom she believed she did not owe respect.
As Ayane left, and Masaru and Masae waited in a small waiting room for them to be summoned to meet with Masaru's parents.
"What did she mean, Masaru?" Masae said. "It seems clear that she was implying that she, too, faced expectations of some sort."
"She, the eldest child of our family, would have inherited the business, but because she is a woman, she was passed over, and the position went to my older brother, the middle child," Masaru said. "But they believed she had her own role to play, and could be of use to the family. She married the son of the Kitagawa family in order to broker an alliance with them."
"And she… has accepted this?" Masae said. Her opinion of Ayane had not improved much, but Masae did not feel as though her future sister-in-law deserved to be used as a mere bargaining chip by her own family.
"She agreed to it, seeing it as her duty to the family," Masaru said. "She once said to me that one should not expect praise or even thanks for doing a duty, because it is expected of them. That's why, even though she cannot inherit Father's position as heir of the family despite being the eldest child, she does what she must, and why she expects me to do the same."
"So, to put it bluntly, 'don't screw up?'" Masae said, slipping back into the somewhat more informal mode of speech she used with Masaru. "Is that all they really expect of you?"
Masae had long heard about how onerous Masaru's family's expectations were, but was surprised to hear that they thought of those expectations as the bare minimum. When she had once asked whether he had any marriages arranged for him, Masaru had told her that his father thought of the entire process as like selling a used car. Just as his father would not part with a car for which he still had use, but could not sell a car that was not in good enough condition, he said that he was unwilling to arrange anything with Masaru involved.
"In a sense, yes," Masaru said. "Which is why I am viewed as such a disappointment, since they see me as falling short of even that." Masaru paused. "But I suppose I can live with what I have. I have no illusions of changing that today; I just hope that they accept you, however reluctantly it may be."
Masae nodded, but briefly questioned herself. She did not intend to force others to live as she did, but now, she would have to prove herself to his parents.
Samejima walked into the waiting room.
"Thank you for waiting, Masaru-sama, Atago-sama," Samejima said. "The master will see you now."
"Thank you," Masae said, honestly grateful for the courtesy in spite of realizing that it was obligatory for the butler.
Masae and Masaru walked into the traditional Japanese living room. A man and a woman, the former sat in seiza at the back of the room. The former, Suzuki Byakuya, Masaru's father and the head of the family, was middle aged, had graying and thinning hair, and wore a dark suit. The latter, Suzuki Suzuka, Masaru's mother, looked somewhat younger, had dark hair in a bun, and wore a green kimono.
"Welcome home, Masaru," Byakuya said. "I understand you have brought your… girlfriend with you?"
"Yes, Father," Masaru said. "This is Atago Masae."
"It is an honor to meet you," Masae said, bowing low. The bow was not reciprocated, and as Masae rose, she noticed him giving her a cold and piercing stare.
Masaru and Masae recounted how they had met and fallen in love, leaving out the details about how Masaru felt about his family. Each answer they gave was followed by an expectant pause from Byakuya, as if he had found their answer inadequate, or a skeptical gesture.
They were facing an uphill battle, one that was worse than they had anticipated.
Eventually, the time came for dinner, an elegant and traditional Japanese meal that would not have seemed out of place in the restaurant where Masaru and Masae had their first date. Masae accepted her spot, closest to the door, without complaint, in spite of realizing the obvious implications.
"So, Atago Masae, what is it that you do?" Byakuya said.
"I am a university student who is also a professional tanker," Masae said.
"Tankery," Byakuya said dismissively. "A vulgar bastardization of true martial arts."
Masae sighed, unsure of how she could respond to that, even if she had anticipated his dislike of tankery coming up at some point in the conversation. Byakuya did not say what he did as an argument so much as a statement of fact, and he would not appreciate being contradicted.
"I am aware that there are those who dislike tankery, just like you do, sir," Masae said. "But others want to do it, even if they don't know where or how they can get started. I seek to establish a school that trains students to become skilled enough to accomplish what they want, without being overly strict, or causing them to forget about the fulfilling aspects of tankery."
Byakuya paused. It seemed evident to Masae that he had realized that Masae was not budging on the tankery issue, and perhaps he never expected her to do so. Perhaps she had already failed, and he was only drawing this out for his own purposes.
"For the sake of my own edification, if you have daughters, will the eldest inherit the school?" Byakuya said, changing the subject.
"Only if she both wishes to and is the best choice, sir," Masae said.
"You would honestly leave that to chance?" Byakuya said. "Your children may not be my inheritors, but their behavior reflects on my family."
Masae paused briefly. Politeness was key, but she also realized that as docile and submissive Masaru had been to his older sister, she had coldly looked down on him. If Masae continued to act as she was, the Suzuki family's perception of her would not change. The only solution seemed to be to assert and defend her position, while asking for more information about her would-be father-in-law's. The chances of success seemed to be slim, but it seemed clear to her that her present course of action was getting her nowhere.
"Is that the only way to define success, sir?" Masae said. "I may not be following either of my parents' footsteps, but I believe I am a success, and my parents are proud of me."
"You have not succeeded on my terms," Byakuya said coldly. "When you seek the blessing of your husband's parents, you do not force them to judge you according to your own values.."
Masae had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Masaru had once told her a story about how his parents' marriage was arranged, and his grandparents apparently forced his mother's family to accept more onerous terms for the agreement, as a result of being in a superior bargaining position.
As tempting as it was for Masae to call Byakuya out on his hypocrisy, she realized that his parents had made the distinction. But more relevantly, this was about her, and it was up to her to live up to Byakuya's expectations, to undergo the same struggle Masaru had gone through over two decades of his life. For Masaru, it had been a losing battle, and Masae felt no more optimistic about her own chances.
"Can this go any worse?" Masae thought.
Eventually, the meal concluded, and Masae found her answer after a few minutes of sitting around the table in silence.
"Leave us, Atago Masae," Byakuya said. "My wife and I have something to discuss with our son in private."
Masae was apprehensive about the request, but, glancing to Masaru, who sighed and shook his head, she realized there was no point in arguing.
"Yes, sir," she said, bowing and taking her leave, noticing Masaru's eyes following her as she left the room, with a concerned expression on Masaru's face. Masae could faintly hear voices on the other end, even if she could not make out the words- Masaru's voice was agitated and tense, while his parents' voices were cold and eerily calm.
Eventually, Masaru took his leave, and met with Masae in the waiting room. After leaving the house and going to where their car was parked, Masae looked back and forth to confirm no one else was nearby, then asked the question that was on her mind.
"What did your parents say?" Masae said.
Masaru frowned and shook his head.
"They... were not impressed with you, in spite of your efforts," Masaru said. "They want to see us again tomorrow, at around 10 a.m., though."
"I see," Masae said, wondering just how bad things were.
"Let's talk back at the hotel," Masaru said. "We'll need some time to think things over and cool our heads before we decide anything, and my parents have given us time to think things over. It's for the best; if I had to act now, I'd say something I'd end up regretting."
"I understand," Masae said, realizing that she could not make any decisions until she understood what she was choosing between.
A brief pause happened.
"And Masae?" Masaru said. "You put your best foot forward there, for the sake of getting along with my family, showing respect to and making an effort to get along with people whose values are very different from yours. Even if my family does not appreciate the effort, know that I did."
Masae nodded. One thing she took away from her meeting with Masaru's parents was that the reason he was well aware of the power of a kind word was because he had heard so few of them from his parents and siblings. His statement was a small gesture, but a significant one, so she decided to respond in kind.
"Thank you, Masaru," Masae said. "You also did your best."
Masaru and Masae realized that the next day would be difficult, and the outcome would largely be out of their hands. But they resolved to make their plans for the future and face it with the same determination, together.
Present day
"I could hardly believe what I was hearing from my in-laws," Masae said. "They not only saw fit to pass judgment on me, but also on how I chose to raise my children."
"As he said, your children would be his grandchildren, Instructor Atago," Shiho said. "He likely did what he did to ensure that his children were raised well, and to protect his family's legacy."
"I thought as much, Instructor Nishizumi," Hiroe said, speaking to Shiho in a polite, if slightly forced, tone. As an assistant instructor to her mother, she often had to deal with difficult people, and used this tone on those individuals. "But the entire experience illustrates two pet peeves I have. First, good manners do not always come easily to me, especially when they're not reciprocated.
"I completely sympathize, Hiroe," Masae said.
"And second," Hiroe continued, "the worst of those situations is people who look down on others and think that their deplorable behavior is in the right."
"Are you perhaps thinking of me?" Shiho said.
Hiroe glanced at her mother, who gave her a cautious nod of approval to speak her mind.
"Yes, ma'am," Hiroe said. "Think what you will of me, but know that I haven't said half of what I wanted to say to you, not out of any respect I have for you, but out of a desire to make this work. It's just like how Mom was polite to Dad's family, even though they looked down on both of them. I can't do it as well as Mom can, but I can try."
"Yes, and because I found myself in the same situation, I appreciate your efforts, Hiroe," Masae said.
Shiho merely gave a nod in response, the gesture devoid of emotion.
"To be honest, Instructor Nishizumi," Masae said, "I wondered, during the drive back to the hotel, what you would have thought of a family that seemed so similar to you in terms of attitude, but with a perspective of tankery that was as different from yours as could be thought possible for someone like them."
"I'm personally aware that many people do not approve of tankery," Shiho said. "Their opinion hardly matters to me- perhaps tankery is better off as long as they stay uninvolved. I'm hardly in a position to judge the degree to which they go to uphold their traditions, though, even if I disagree with the views they have."
"Fair enough," Masae said.
"But did your husband's siblings really go along with their family's standards because they wanted to?" Miho said. "Or did they do it because they felt as though they had no other choice?"
"That's a good question, Miho," Masae said. "Perhaps I would have found a more definitive answer, if I'd known them longer."
"I personally think that it's easier to blindly follow tradition and uphold rules when you're in a good position under them," Hiroe said. "So, of course they'd go on spouting all this crap about living up to tradition if doing so wasn't hard for them."
"Including Aunt Ayane, who had to do whatever her father and her husband told her, Onee-chan?" Kinue said. In spite of everything that happened, her father considered his siblings family, and made it clear that his daughters were to refer to them as their aunt and uncle the few times their names came up.
"Yeah, her, too," Hiroe said. "She wasn't treated like the black sheep of the family like Dad was, so it, at the very least, gave her license to act superior to him, in her mind."
Masae nodded in agreement.
"In any case, there are always those who don't fit in among their families, their countries, and the eras they may live in," Masae said. "No group can be completely inclusive, but those groups, particularly families, should have a degree of tolerance for difference, something that my husband was never shown by his family."
Miho and Maho nodded, understanding what this concept meant for Miho, who had always felt at odds with her family's style.
"And, of course, I have a question to the young ladies at the table, even if I know the answer- what would you like to be when you grow up?" Masae said.
"Inheriting your school, Mom," Hiroe said.
"I intend to do the same for my mother," Maho said.
"I'm planning on becoming a teacher of some sort," Kinue said.
"I'm hoping to become a scientist," Hiroko said.
"I'm less sure, but I hope to continue in tankery in one way or another," Miho said.
"Some would call those less than traditional career paths," Masae said. "As you might imagine, I am not at all nostalgic for the days in which we, as women, would have been discouraged from dressing or acting the way we are, to put it mildly. But it seemed Masaru's family thought differently, and chose to judge me by those archaic and patriarchal standards. I could not simply ignore them, though."
"So what did you do?" Shiho said.
"To get back to the story, I, upon returning to the hotel, was glad to get out of my kimono and put on some more casual, modern and comfortable clothing," Masae said. "Unfortunately, I knew that we would have to deal with my husband's family's disapproval of me, and that we had only put it on hold until then because it would be a difficult discussion."
19 years ago
Masae and Masaru returned to their hotel room, where Masae changed into a white blouse and a knee-length khaki skirt, glad to finally be out of the kimono. As soon as she did, she met with Masaru, who had taken off his jacket and loosened his tie, to ask him about what had happened while she was gone.
"So, Masaru, what else did your parents say to you?" Masae said. "I don't think they merely expressed disapproval of me."
Masaru sighed, bracing himself for how Masae would take the news.
"You're right," Masaru said. "They also gave me an ultimatum- break up with you, or be disowned."
Masae solemnly nodded and took a deep breath, having anticipated the outcome all along. A part of her had been cautious about becoming attached to Masaru, lest his family drive a wedge between them, but she only fully realized the possibility after she had developed feelings for him. But was it fair to make him make this decision?
"I thought it would come to that," Masae said. "To be honest, Masaru, I have no desire to cause anything like this to happen to you. If staying with me causes a rift between you and your parents, then I would not hold it against you if you-"
"Do you think there isn't a rift between my parents and I already, Masae?" Masaru said, evidently not wanting to hear Masae say what she was proposing. "You saw the way they looked at you, like you were an unwelcome guest who did not meet their standards. That's how they've always looked at me, as much as I wanted to believe it wasn't true."
"But your father's ultimatum is something new, is it not?" Masae said. "You didn't seem to mince words about your family before, but I can't recall you bringing up anything like that."
"Maybe they haven't gone this far before, but what do you think would happen if I broke up with you?" Masaru said. "Would everything be just fine between me and my parents from this point onward? Would they say, 'Thank you for breaking up with your girlfriend, son, we love you and are proud of you' to me? Like my sister once said, they don't think it would be commendable that I did all that, merely my duty. And I never did that duty well enough for them."
Masae sighed.
"I suppose not," Masae said. "I was merely hoping that the situation was not completely hopeless for you."
"I know the feeling," Masaru said. "Before today, I struggled for their approval with that mindset. But I think I always knew."
"Knew what, exactly?" Masae said.
"The truth is that my parents never truly accepted me, or thought I was good enough," Masaru said. "I think I realized that all along, but chose to deny it, so that I could do what I could to fulfill their expectations. It was partly because I was scared to go against them any more than I did, and partly because I believed things could improve. But today, the price for pursuing their approval turned out to be one that I could not afford to pay."
Masaru took a deep breath.
"Tomorrow, I will tell them that there are limits to how far I will go for their sake," he said. "I realize now that I've given too much effort and too much of my life to this futile endeavor, and gotten too little out of it in the process."
"I understand how you feel," Masae said. "But Masaru, are you prepared to go down this path, knowing that your family will most likely never forgive you? Even if this was always an unpleasant inevitability, a day may come when you might win their approval. But if you reject your parents' command and are disowned, that possibility will all but vanish."
"I am," Masaru said, letting his previous statements speak for themselves. "The only question is, Masae… are you willing to go down this path with me?"
"Do you mean…?" Masae said.
Masaru nodded, reached into his pocket, and produced a small box, getting down on bended knee.
"I do," Masaru said. "You've always understood me well, Masae, not judging me on any terms other than my worth as a human being. You're one of the most intelligent, determined, kind and beautiful women I know. And you've made me happier than anyone else I've ever met. So, Atago Masae… will you marry me?"
Masae paused, overwhelmed by emotion. As the moments passed and she was able to bring herself to speak, she realized that this was something she had subconsciously anticipated all along, and now that the moment of decision had come, there was only one thing she could say.
"…Yes!" she said, taking the ring onto her finger and embracing him.
The two lovers held each other for what seemed like an eternity. They would face a difficult challenge the next day, but they savored the moment as long as they could.
Present day
"I understood perfectly well what my husband was feeling," Masae said. "From the beginning of the trip, I was less than confident I could hope to gain his family's approval, but I saw it as a necessary step to be together. And when he chose to accept me, that was one of the happiest moments of my life."
The rest of the group simply nodded in understanding and listened in silence, with even Shiho unable to contest Masae's point.
"We spent the rest of the night with each other, at the hotel," Masae said. "We discussed our plans, both of how to approach his parents the following day, and how to prepare for the worst-case scenario; my husband would still have a place to live and a source of income even if he were forced out. His job, the product of all his efforts to eke out his living independent of his family, provides our family a good living; he'd hoped that it would show his parents that he could succeed, provide for a family of his own, or at the very least, survive without their help."
An oddly hopeful expression went across Miho's face, and Masae sighed in regret. She had seen this expression on the faces of everyone whom she had told the story in this manner.
"And yes, I believe we knew, even back then, how the confrontation would end," Masae said sadly.
19 years ago
The next morning, Masae and Masaru prepared for the less than pleasant, but ultimately inevitable task of meeting with Masaru's parents.
Masae changed into her kimono again; even if her demand would come off as unreasonable, she resolved to do everything she could to endear herself to his parents, however futile the effort would be. Masaru also put on his suit again.
Masae and Masau returned to Masaru's house, and stood at the threshold of their living room.
"Are you ready, Masaru?" Masae said, as she hid her right hand, and the ring on it, inside her kimono's sleeve.
"I can't back down now," Masaru said. "Of course, even if I could, I have no desire to do so."
"I feel the same way," Masae said. "Whatever happens, I'm by your side."
They then walked into the living room, where Masaru's parents waited, along with Masaru's sister. Masaru and Masae took their seats in front of Byakuya and Suzuka, with Masae
"I'm glad you could make it, Masaru," Byakuya said. "Are you ready to say what you must?'
"I am, Father," Masaru said, taking a deep breath and steeling himself. "Last night, I spoke with Atago Masae. I asked her if she would marry me and she said yes."
Masaru's father, mother and sister gasped in shock. Masae could not help but smile for a moment; while she knew her fiance's hopes would be dashed, she relished the look on his parents faces as their control over their son faded. She then lifted her left hand off of her right.
Masaru's parents then took a closer look, and saw the engagement ring on Masae's hand.
"Wh-what have you done, Masaru?" Byakuya said.
"Mother, Father," Masaru said in a calm and respectful tone. "I have always done my best to live up to your expectations. It has not been easy for me. It has required sacrifices on my part. I may not live up to your standards. But I love you and want your approval, and the same goes for my older siblings."
"You've always known what you had to do for it," Byakuya said. "And yet, you've always fallen short, whether for lack of trying, lack of ability or both."
"That's correct, Father, I did know, and I did try," Masaru said. "But I cannot do what you asked of me now. I love Masae and she loves me. She appreciates me for the person I am, and does not hold me to unreasonable standards. She does not force me to choose between my loved ones- she offered to stand aside if it would allow me to have harmony within my family. That's why, I beg of you, please grant us your blessing."
Byakuya sighed and shook his head.
"How disappointing, Masaru," Byakuya said coldly, raising his voice as he spoke as he lost his stern composure for the first time in the course of the visit. "You would dare come before me and brazenly demand that I approve of your decision? Children do not dictate how their parents raise them! What kind of a father will you be if you have that mindset? What sort of a mother will that woman be to her children if she fails to teach her daughters their proper place? But it hardly matters to me what children you and that woman have because they will not be my grandchildren- you are no longer my son."
"Father…" Masaru said
Masae studied the faces of Masaru's parents- who had just disavowed their status as such, hoping to find any sign of doubt or regret about what they had just decided, but saw their faces remained impassive. Did they truly have no reservations about the decision, or were they simply trying to convince everyone involved- themselves included- that this was the case? Masae was unsure of which was the case, but found it difficult to find an interpretation that had Masaru's interest in mind. She no longer had any respect for Masaru's parents, nor did she need their approval, so she decided to make her feelings known.
"Suzuki Byakuya," Masae said, pausing to make sure he heard the lack of an honorific after his name. "I can understand your refusal to approve of my lifestyle, chosen profession or even the way I will raise children. But whether you're trying to help your family save face, you disapprove of your son's decision or you just want to make a point, I cannot stand for your casting your so…my fiancé out of your family."
"As I made abundantly clear yesterday, I hardly care how you intend to raise your children," Byakuya said coldly. "But I will not have an outsider like you tell me how to raise mine, nor will I accept any children raised your way as my own grandchildren."
Masae realized that nothing she could say would change Byakuya's mind. And while she realized that the question she felt the need to ask next had just as little likelihood of succeeding in changing her mind, it was something she had to know.
"And you, Suzuki Suzuka," Masae said. "Do you plan on standing by your husband's decision?"
"My husband has my full and unconditional support on all decisions," Suzuka said. "Perhaps Masaru will come to regret marrying you if he cannot count on a similar level of support." She then turned to Masaru. "All you need to do to get your father to recant his decision is to recant yours, Masaru."
Masaru shot his mother a glare. He was prepared to accept what his parents had to say about his choices, but would not stand for them badmouthing his fiancée.
"That's where you're wrong, Mother," Masaru said. "Giving up Masae was the one price I could not pay for your approval. And it's in large part because of her that I had the confidence in myself to stand before you today to say what I did."
Suzuka looked taken aback, while Byakuya eyed Masaru with a hollow look. Masae sighed, having come to realize that for better or worse, everyone had made their decisions, and there was nothing more that could be done.
"Then it's up to you to determine how well you do on your own, but that's no longer my concern," Byakuya said. "Samejima, see these two out."
As Masaru and Masae rose and prepared to depart, Masaru turned to his sister, who had otherwise remained silent the entire time with a stoic expression, and hoped for a reaction.
"Onee-sama," Masaru said. "We may never see each other again- do you have nothing to say at this moment?"
Ayane glanced at her father, searching for some cue. She then turned back to Masaru and shook her head.
"Don't you know?" Ayane said. "My only younger brother is on a business trip. And I believe my father asked you to leave."
Masae studied Ayane's expression, looking for any hints of vulnerability. Her face remained stoic, with the occasional glance toward her father.
Masae had to wonder- Did Ayane feel anything after seeing her younger brother cast out of the family? Was she at least aware that had things gone differently, she might have been the one to be cast out? Might it be that her cold attitude was her way of trying to get Masaru to do what was necessary stay in the family? Or was she perhaps resigned to her father's decision about her brother, the same way she had been resigned to all the decisions her father had made for her?
But Ayane was unwilling to explain herself to an outsider, and while Masae saw that as understandable, she had to wonder why she was refusing to explain herself to her own brother. Soon, she and her parents turned to each other for a meeting- the subject of which Masae could only imagine- with occasional glances to the side to see whether Masae and Masaru had departed.
Masaru and Masae bowed as an obligatory show of courtesy, and then walked out. The house was no longer home for Masaru, as he had long since removed all of his possessions from his old room, which had been converted into yet another guest bedroom. Masaru had a variety of reasons for not wanting to stay in that room.
"Are you alright, Masaru?" Masae said, as they got into the car. "I didn't want things to have to come to this."
"Mostly," he said. "I've long imagined something like this playing out when I dreaded disappointing my parents. It's a scenario that's played out in my nightmares for as long as I can remember, as well as one that gave me pause when I considered opposing them. And now it finally happened."
"You… seem awfully calm, considering the circumstances," Masae said.
Masaru shrugged.
"It's odd," he said. "Maybe it hasn't been long enough for it to sink in, but it's not as painful as I thought. It's been said that you only realize the value of something once you lose it- could it be that I've realized that I didn't value it that much at all?"
"I don't know," Masae said. "All I heard about your family is what you told me, and all that I saw of them yesterday and today was when your relationship with them was at its lowest point- both of which would give me the worst possible impression of them. While I don't like them, I can understand your desire to want to mend your relationship with them, and am sorry that it did not work out."
Masaru then placed a hand on Masae's shoulder, much to her surprise; she was not expecting to be comforted by the one she thought had suffered most.
"Let's go home, Masae," Masaru said, as he started up the car and began to drive back to the hotel, so they could gather their belongings, check out and head home. "In spite of everything, I believe we have some good news for your parents, and a wedding to plan."
That evening, Masae placed a phone call, getting her mother on the line, and telling her everything that had happened over the past two days.
"I see," Mikoto said, having remained silent for the entire story. "I believe your fiancé's mind was made up, and you could not have dissuaded him."
"I suppose so, Mother," Masae said. "I only hope that I could have dissuaded his parents."
"Perhaps it's unfeasible to expect that," Mikoto said. "But know this, Masae. He loved you, who accepted him for who he was, enough to defy his parents and permanently throw aside any chance of reconciliation with him for the sake of remaining with you. What you can do for him in return is not let him come to regret that decision."
Masae, greatly cheered by her mother's resolve, smiled.
"Thank you, Mother," Masae said. "And I'd also like to thank you and Father for giving us your blessing."
"Your fiancee's a good man, you two are happy together, and he's a responsible individual who has good character," Mikoto said. "That's all that I expect of your fiancée, not unlike what I expected of your sister's fiancee. Masaru may have been cast out of his family, but he is welcome in ours."
Masae nodded. She was more grateful than ever for her own family, and more determined to ensure that when she had children of her own, she and her husband would raise them in a good and loving home.
Present day
None of the others at the table were quite sure how to respond to what they had heard, so Masae spoke first, getting straight to the point of why she had told them this story.
"When I heard that Miho was threatened with disownment, my first thought was of what had happened to my husband," Masae said. "I thus had to ask myself the questions that were never fully answered back then. How did Miho's parents justify it to themselves? And how did Miho's sister feel about it now that it was happening?"
Masae first turned to Shiho, with a stern expression on her face.
"Instructor Nishizumi, the idealist in me wanted to believe that you would not inflict this on your own daughter, but seeing my father-in-law do this to my husband showed me that it was possible," Masae said. "I've heard much from you tonight and last night that would suggest that you would do such a thing, as well as your belief that it's for the good of the school, but absolutely nothing you have said tonight or last night justifies casting your daughter out of the family over this."
Shiho looked impassive. What she was hearing were the words of someone with values entirely different from hers. Shiho believed the same applied to Masae, and Masae could not so easily convince her that what she was doing was wrong, but she suspected Masae knew this already and thus stayed silent.
Masae then turned to Maho.
"Maho, I had initially feared that you had, like my sister-in-law, become devoted to the family's duty, and forsaken your younger sibling as a failure because your parents had," she said. Her stern expression then gave way to a warm smile. "But while my sister-in-law seemed aloof toward her youngest brother at the time of their parting, your concern and love for your sister was written all over your face when I spoke with you at the semifinals, as you feared for Miho being threatened with disownment. My initial perception of you couldn't have been more wrong, so I was glad for that, and still am."
Maho smiled appreciatively. Before she had met with Masae, she had begun to despair, and wondered if her efforts and sacrifices for Miho had accomplished nothing apart from causing people to perceive her as aloof from Miho. But Masae had helped her realize that there were some people who understood the choices she had made, and when she spoke with Miho after her match with Saunders, she was reminded that her efforts ha dnot been in vain.
Masae then turned to Miho.
"And Miho, because of what my husband experienced, I understand how it is possible for someone to feel love for a family that does not seem to show any in return, and also why even those desperate for that approval might find something more important," Masae said. "My husband may have failed to get through to his family, but his determination to do so, born out of love, compassion and a capability for forgiveness, is one of the reasons why I love him."
Miho smiled and nodded, reminded of Hana's determination to reconcile with her mother.
"That's true, Instructor Atago," Miho said. "I want my mother to approve of my style of tankery, and I want to remain part of the Nishizumi family. But there are many other things that I want, such as the welfare and safety of those who serve alongside me, and if I must do things a way my mother does not approve of in order to fulfill those goals, then I will do so, just like I did in the tournament in my first year."
"Ah, yes, the price that is necessary being higher than what one is willing to pay," Maho said. "I discussed this with Instructor Atago before when we were talking about you."
Shiho remained silent, contemplating what Masae told her. There was one thing that had stood out to her, in all the talk of families and heirs, and now, felt the need to ask it.
"Have you ever considered things from your father-in-law's perspective, Instructor Atago?" Shiho said.
Masae sighed, having expected Shiho to say what she did. It was less blunt than Shiho saying the Suzukis were right to disown Masaru, but if she sympathized with Masae's husband or disagreed with his parents, she did not express it.
"My husband had the values of tradition and loyalty to the family drilled into him over the course of over two decades, and has had almost two decades to think it over since they cast him out," Masae said. "We've done many things over those years- established a school, raised two daughters, and carried on our own careers. We've done many of the things his parents once did, but not the way they did them. We still don't see what they did to my husband as necessary to raise a child well, and strive to do better than they did."
Masae paused to let it sink in.
"Does that answer your question, Instructor Nishizumi?"
Shiho nodded, but Masae knew this was merely the prelude to another question.
"This leads me to my next question," Shiho said. "Do you think that your husband's parents and siblings do not do what they do because they choose to?"
This time, Masae was caught off guard.
"I believe they choose to do so," Masae said, "…and that choice, of tradition over family, of duty over love, is wrong. My approach is more compassionate, but is no less successful."
"I see," Shiho said. "But even if you consider it blind adherence to tradition, my husband has supported me in my duty as head of the Nishizumi family just as yours has supported you in your endeavors. That act is his choice, even if you consider it the wrong one, and even if they don't necessarily have the same motivations as we do."
"Our choices are not always good ones," Masae said. "It would be disingenuous, for example, to conclude that someone who chooses the lesser of two evils does not recognize it as an evil."
"That may be true, Instructor Atago," Maho said. "But Teru once told me that even in situations in which I seemingly have no desirable choices, the ones I make say a great deal about the person I am. Perhaps the person who wants to be whipped is willing to endure whatever is necessary in order to stay alive. Perhaps I, by choosing to uphold the Nishizumi name, can be both a good heiress and good sister."
Masae simply nodded.
"So what do you think your choices with regards to your family say about you, Instructor Nishizumi?" Masae said.
Shiho paused to consider what Masae said.
"That depends," Shiho said. "Does agreeing to an arranged marriage count as a choice?"
"I believe it does," Masae said. "Your family or whoever is arranging the marriage may be arranging the choice so that it's all but impossible to go against them, but it's still your choice."
"Exactly," Shiho said. "As with many cases, it was the decision my family expected me to make, but one I made myself."
Author's Notes
This was a long chapter, but it's the central incident for Masae, and the one she most wanted to talk with Shiho about.
Ayane's character, as well as that of her and Masaru's parents is somewhat open to interpretations. It's one of those cases in which the POV character has no way of knowing a certain character's motives, even if all the evidence available to the POV character casts said individual in a highly unfavorable light.
Masaru's epiphany about his family can be summed up nicely by the following Order of the Stick quote.
"What's real… is that my family is screwed up and broken. And it's just not going to get magically fixed, ever."
Character Analysis: Masaru Atago.
From a young age, Masaru's parents made it clear that they didn't find him good enough. From his childhood to when he was a young adult, he worked hard to overturn their perceptions of him, and was disappointed when he did not succeed.
As he got older, Masaru became more willing to question his parents' disapproval of him, and more willing to try to succeed in pursuits of his own. When he was younger, he was willing to accept it without question, but as he got older and heard from people who disagreed with them, he realized that too easily dismissing their opinions too easily was essentially questioning his friends' judgment. But if he accepted that, would it mean his parents were wrong? He spent much of his adolescence and young adulthood grappling with those questions, but there was one thing he was certain about- he appreciated those who did not judge him by his family's terms, especially Masae. And as he saw more of Masae's beauty, kindness, intelligence, determination and other qualities, he realized he was falling in love.
His worst fears came to pass, though, and he was forced to choose between his parents and his wife, choosing the latter. He still considers it the right decision, as he always has, but wishes his parents could be in his life. Unfortunately, his parents' death precluded that possibility, and even with them dead, he cannot reconnect with his siblings.
Masaru loathes Shiho even more than Masae does, for being willing to disown any members of her family who do not meet her standards. On the other hand, he understands that Maho cares for Miho, having heard his wife speak in her defense, and sees a great deal of himself in Miho. He does, however, realize that he is applying a double standard, judging his family more leniently than Shiho because they are his family. As aloof and distant as his siblings were, and as cold and judgmental as his parents were, he still valued his bonds with them, and worked to reconnect with them until the day his parents died.
Masaru has resolved to raise his daughters differently. He likes Hiroe's confidence and openness with her opinions, Kinue's kindness, and the fact that both sisters are close to each other in ways that he was never close with his own siblings. When he sees his daughters, he sees success on his own terms, and believes that it's the best possible way to rise above his upbringing.