Masae 11: Careers and Diversions

As Masae prepared to talk about her children, she glanced at each of her daughters.

"I had long desired to be both a tankery teacher, and a mother," Masae said. "But I regarded those as separate pursuits, to be balanced against one another. I had to be there for my children when they needed me. But I also had responsibilities of my own, which were important in their own way."

"But wouldn't it be possible for both goals to be accomplished at once?" Shiho said. "By raising a good daughter, you would raise a good heiress as well."

The waiter arrived with the food, and Masae took the opportunity to think though her response. It was clear that she and Shiho had different ideas of what it meant to be a "good" daughter or an heiress, so she believed it would be difficult to directly answer that question. Instead, Masae chose to focus on the more relevant question- whether Hiroe would want to succeed her.

"I actually did not originally plan for Hiroe to inherit the school," Masae said. "I see the fact that she is willing and able to do so as a happy coincidence, but had not planned for it all along. My original intent was to find a particularly talented student who was also a good teacher- which may or may not have been either of my daughters, my niece, or anyone else related to me- and choose her as my successor."

"Yeah," Hiroe said. "And who can tell what will happen in the future? Will I not end up having kids? Will I only end up having boys? What kind of kids will they turn out to be? I certainly don't want to commit them to anything they're not prepared or willing to do, for practical reasons as well as sentimental ones."

Masae nodded.

"I agree, Hiroe, and it makes me think of what I felt when I first had you," Masae said.

18 years ago

Masae lay in her hospital bed, exhausted after hours of labor. The birth was a success, and she had accomplished what most tankery teachers had desperately hoped to do- giving birth to a healthy baby girl.

The nurse walked over and showed Masae her baby. Masae managed a weak smile that gave only a glimpse of the immense joy in her. She had brought a life into this world. Carrying her to term had been a long and difficult process, and raising her would be even more so, but for now, she enjoyed seeing this miracle at play.

As Masae looked at the infant Hiroe, who seemed unaware of her situation, and whose cries could not adequately express what she was feeling, she thought back to times and families in which the child's destiny was decided from the moment she was born, especially on the basis of her gender alone.

There were some families in which the eldest daughter had no more right to inheritance than a mere stranger outside the family. Masae's sister-in-law Ayane was also an eldest daughter, as was Masae herself, although the latter had not inherited anything from her parents, save their determination to follow their own path. As a woman, Masae found the idea of becoming a second-class member of the family because of her gender disturbing, and the idea that males would receive the same treatment for positions that went to females was no better in her mind.

Masae quickly put those thoughts out of her head, believing them beside the point. Now that Hiroe was born, it was up to Masae to raise her well. Regardless of whether Hiroe chose to follow Masae's footsteps or blaze her own trail, Masae hoped Hiroe would become someone who could choose her own path and go down it successfully. Masae saw that freedom to make decisions and live with the consequences as Hiroe's birthright, and hoped to raise her well so she could make the most of it.

Present day

Shiho, having heard the description of Masae giving birth to Hiroe before in an article Masae had published regarding parents who lived vicariously through their children, had the same expression on her face throughout.

"A touching story, Instructor Atago," Shiho said sincerely yet dispassionately, "but you are mistaken if you think that the women of my family never take such feelings into account. Those who inherit the school must always consider their responsibilities, and make the right decisions even if they find those choices difficult."

"Ah yes, this again," Masae said, unsurprised. "I've long since given up on trying to convince you otherwise, Instructor Nishizumi, but are you still convinced that upholding your tankery traditions comes before all else?"

"Yes," Shiho said. "My mother and grandmother are gone, but their efforts live on in our school, the sum total of their life's work in tankery and teaching. By keeping the Nishizumi school well-respected, we honor their memory and ensure that their work is not in vain."

"And did they expect their descendants to take on the tasks they had once held, regardless of what kind of people their descendants were, or what state tankery or the world were in when said descendants were born?" Masae said.

Shiho nodded, not elaborating on her comment. Masae simply sighed.

"For me, I couldn't even predict what sort of people my children would be, or whether they would have interest in tankery," Masae said. "The main reason I had Kinue was so that Hiroe would have a sister, just like I had Masaki."

Hiroe, having heard about her mother's story so many times in the past, simply smiled and glanced toward her sister.

"And what about your sister, Instructor Atago?" Maho said.

"Both Mom and Dad decided, while I was still an infant, that one child was enough for them," Hiroko said. "But because of Mom, I was close to Aunt Masae's daughters while growing up. I became somewhat interested in tankery as a result of Hiroe's interest in it, but Kinue took longer."

"Kinue was born a year after her sister and her cousin," Masae said. "But while Hiroe gradually became interested in tankery, Kinue found other pursuits that interested her, with no prompting from me."

Seven years ago

As Masae and Hiroe sat in the living room one afternoon, with Masae giving Hiroe a lesson on tankery, and with Masaru still at work, Sakura, a maid for the Atago family, walked in, wearing a kimono.

"Masae-sama, Hiroe-sama," Sakura said. "Kinue-sama is home."

Masae would have asked why Kinue was late, but she remembered that Kinue had told her in advance she had joined her school's soccer club, having just recently become old enough to take part in it. Masae had told Kinue to be back by dinner, and Kinue had kept her promise to do so.

"I'm home, Mom," Kinue said, stepping into the house.

"Welcome home, Kinue," Masae said. "How was the club?"

"It was fun," Kinue said. "We had a couple games of soccer after school. There were few enough people around that everyone got to participate at the same time."

As Kinue finished taking off her shoes and walked into the living room, Masae then noticed the state of Kinue's clothing. Her elementary school did not have a uniform, so she wore a light blue shirt and khaki-colored shorts, as well as white socks and tennis shoes. All her clothes had some mud stains. on them, and her bare ankles and forearms were similarly dirty.

"Oh, dear," Masae said. "Sakura, I'd like your help. Kinue could use a bath."

"Very well, Masae-sama," Sakura said. "I will get the bath started."

"I may have gotten dirty, Mom, but it was fun," Kinue said. "The team was pretty loosely put together, and we basically kicked the ball around, but it was the first time doing that with my friends, and I'm glad they invited me to do it on a regular basis."

Hiroe smiled, but couldn't help but shrug.

"I don't quite get soccer," Hiroe said. "Maybe it's because there's this girl in my class who's always trying to recruit people, and who gets on my nerves by doing so, but it seems like it's just kicking a ball into a goal, rather than tank combat."

"Well, tankery seems so complicated, Onee-chan," Kinue said. "There's all this preparation and study you're doing, years before you even get in a tank. To be honest, it seems like it would be difficult for people to get into."

Masae shook her head slightly, finding it unfortunate that Kinue thought about tankery this way. Her goal was to help make tankery more accessible and fulfilling for young people, so she did not wish for one of her own children to think of it as forbidding.

"You shouldn't think of it that way, Kinue," Masae said. "Your sister has a ways to go, but wants to learn as much as she can before she gets to the point at which she can do tankery. It's more her going the extra mile, so to speak, so she can be as well prepared as possible."

"Yeah, you're right, Mom," Hiroe said. "But at the same time, I'd rather not make my classmate's mistake. I already asked Kinue if she'd be interested in tankery, and she said no. I'm not going to bug her every chance I get about joining, even if I do hope that she does come around."

"Fair enough, Hiroe," Masae said. "But in any case, Kinue, I'm glad you found something you can enjoy."

Kinue smiled, even as Sakura came to fetch her for the bath. It was simple fun for now, and, at least at the moment, it did not require extensive training or planning for the future, making it ideal for a young girl like her.

That evening, Masaru got home from his job as chief financial officer for a Hokkaido-based corporation, while Hiroe and Kinue worked on their homework. As he and Masae talked about their daughters' days, he took a particular interest in his younger daughter's. Neither he nor Masae consciously tried to play favorites, but while Masae gave Hiroe lessons in tankery, Masaru watched over Kinue, hoping she would be able to find her own passions, and both saw it as helping the daughter they were best suited to help.

"It's good to hear Kinue has a hobby of her own, dear," Masaru said.

"I agree," Masae said. "Of course, it's just that, a hobby, for the moment."

"Perhaps Hiroe's interest in tankery might not last, either," Masaru said. "Children tend to try out many new things, and it seems natural that the first things they'd try- and not necessarily the last- are similar to what their parents did."

"I know, dear," Masae said.

"So if Hiroe follows in your footsteps, I hope that you always offer the option for her to back out if she so chooses," Masaru said.

Masae pondered what he had said. One thing Masaru had never been able to ask his brother was whether he truly wanted to become heir to the Suzuki family. From what Masae had heard, Reito had worked hard in that role, but went about his duties with the same stoicism he used on everything else, making it impossible for Masaru to tell whether he was happy with his path in life. While uncertain what to make of that story, she knew what she wanted for her daughter and her school.

"I will," Masae said. "If my school lasts until I retire, I will choose a successor from among my assistants, preferably one who has been a long time and demonstrated great commitment and skill. Perhaps it might be convenient if Hiroe was the ideal person for the job, although she would have to both be willing to take on the responsibility and earn the right."

"That's a long time from now," Masaru said. "Hiroe and Kinue will change a great deal in the years to come, and perhaps your school will, as well."

"Indeed, dear," Masae said. "That's why, for now, I don't consider Hiroe's interest in tankery to be any more binding than a mere expression of interest. And that's why I'll do my best to make sure that she and Kinue grow up into women I can entrust with my school, even if neither of them end up inheriting it."

Masae and Masaru let the conversation drop. They were thinking about the distant future, after their children had matured, had many formative experiences and changed dramatically. For now, it was their responsibility to care for their children, and ensure that they developed well.

Present day

"Soccer did turn out to be a phase for Kinue, but she enjoyed it while it lasted, so it wasn't a waste of time," Masae said. "Her coach and teammates taught her the values of good sportsmanship, discipline and hard work. I once met her coach for lunch and we had a nice discussion about those things."

Kinue nodded.

"It was simple fun, at the time," Kinue said. "With a ball that I was able to buy with my allowance, a few friends and a open field with goal markers, I was able to have a game of soccer. The rules- at least the ones my friends and I were using- took about five minutes to explain. When it was just my friends and I, we often didn't keep track of the score, and didn't care about winning."

"That sounds like fun, Kinue-san," Miho said. Kinue reminded her of Yusa Chihiro, Miho's childhood friend, who was an athlete who did tankery alongside her friends. But while Kinue had cast aside soccer for tankery, Chihiro, after parting ways with her elementary school friends, had devoted herself to her sport. So Miho understood that just like there were people like her family and their students in tankery, there were those who saw soccer as more than a game.

"It was, Miho-chan," Kinue said. "Talking about it does bring back fond memories. I still go jogging most mornings, like I did when I played soccer. When I think about it that way, maybe those days don't seem so distant."

A wistful smile crossed Kinue's face as she pondered how far she had come since those days, even as she cut a bite-sized piece of her meat, lifted it to her mouth and ate it in accordance with formal dining etiquette. She wore a light gray pantsuit with a white dress shirt and a sky-blue necktie that matched her hair, an outfit she had once thought of as "grown-up" clothing. Back then, she had joked that she certainly could not risk getting such clothes dirty while playing soccer, as though she would never have to wear them.

But change was ultimately inevitable, and Kinue laughed with self-aware amusement when her sister had reminded her of her previous remarks while Kinue was trying on her first suit. Kinue had moved out of her house, and was now studying on board a school ship, in which managing her own apartment had become a comparatively minor concern. School had gotten more difficult, albeit not too much for her, but she would have to deal with college entrance exams within a year, an intimidating prospect, even if her sister and her cousin had given her some idea of what to expect. She was nostalgic for the carefree days of her youth, and her mother completely understood, believing that while people had to eventually grow up, having a carefree childhood would be good for their development. Of course, Kinue was aware that growing up required sacrifices, even if it was not always clear to her that soccer would be one of them.

"What happened?" Miho said, implicitly wondering if Kinue had also realized what it meant to compete professionally.

"In my first year of middle school, I tried out for the soccer team, and made it onto the team," Kinue said. "But over time, I realized that it seemed to be largely composed of people who were trying for athletic scholarships and spots on high school teams. They cared about how well they were doing, how well they would look, so to speak, in the eyes of those who would be important to their careers, and so forth. They often talked eagerly about their goals, and often worried about how they were doing. Unfortunately, they had no patience with those who could not go as far as they did."

"Great dedication, combined with great talent, brings great rewards, whether in soccer or tankery," Shiho said. "You must admit, the chance to gain scholarships and the opportunity to do a sport professionally are enticing prospects, albeit ones that are not easily achieved."

"Yes, ma'am," Kinue said. "But few can go that far, and fewer still enjoy doing so. I don't know whether it was because I was less confident or less talented than the others, but I soon began to realize that it was almost impossible for me to achieve what they set out to do. If I couldn't do that, and wasn't having any fun, why should I stick aound?"

4 years ago

Masae sat at a small family restaurant with Hiroe, Kinue and Hiroko, having come to their middle school both to meet with the coach, who was one of her students, and to visit her daughters and niece. The establishment was a family-oriented restaurant that was popular among students. Masae wore the same suit she wore on her visit to the school. Her daughters and niece were wearing their school uniforms, and they could see a few other students in uniforms in nearby booths.

Kinue had just finished telling Masae about the soccer team, and how she, no longer enjoying her time on it and uncertain of whether she could reach the heights that the others sought, was pondering quitting.

"In a nutshell, I feel as though my teammates are going somewhere I can't follow them," Kinue said. "One of my senpais said that those who weren't in it to win should leave the team, and, well, I'm considering doing what she says.

"To be honest, I can understand how they would feel," Masae said. "At a certain point in life, you will have to do something seriously enough to make a living, while other pursuits will become casual hobbies. It sounds as though your schoolmates have already made their decision, even if it's merely a tentative choice."

Kinue simply nodded.

"I know, Mom, and there is an acquaintance of mine who has been focused on soccer since she was young," Kinue said. "It's just that I haven't quite committed to that path just yet." Kinue paused a moment to think. "That reminds me; didn't you take a while to decide what you wanted to do?"

"You're quite right, Kinue" Masae said. "I came up with the idea of the Atago school near the end of high school. And if, for some reason, it didn't work out, I was planning on becoming a regular teacher, something I had also considered early on in high school."

"And what about Aunt Masaki?" Kinue said, glancing at Hiroko while she did. "She did tankery along with you, but took an entirely different path in life."

"Mom had her own reasons for doing tankery," Hiroko said. "She thought it was fun, and she wanted to support her older sister and other friends. She knew she wasn't good enough to do it professionally, but she believed that it was a good formative experience for women, whatever their path in life might be."

Kinue's eyes lit up, recalling everything positive about her participation in soccer. Perhaps she would never be able to go back to those days, but if she did tankery, it was possible that she would regain what she had lost, while learning a great deal for he future.

Hiroe took notice of this, and smiled. Perhaps Kinue would choose to do tankery, but that was less important than Kinue finding an answer, a path that she could follow wherever it led her.

"So, Kinue?" Hiroe said with giddy anticipation. "Are you giving it a second thought?"

"I'll give it some consideration, Onee-chan," Kinue said. "The thought of being on a team with you and doing the same thing is quite pleasing."

Hiroe smiled and nodded, as did Masae. Perhaps Kinue's mother and sister were influences on her, and she was walking a path similar to theirs, but she was because she had chosen to do so.

Present day

"It took me a little while to get involved in tankery, and longer still to get onto the regular team," Kinue said. "But even while I was a benchwarmer, there was still a sense of trying hard, working to improve myself, and forming bonds with my teammates. By experiencing that, I was able to enjoy a good part of what I liked about soccer without the pressure getting in the way."

Masae nodded.

"The Atago School has classes available for older students," Masae said, "and I mentioned Kinue as a case of a late bloomer in tankery, even if she's relatively young for that category. In fact, we just recently announced new classes for older students who were learning tankery or wanted to brush up on their skills, from a tanker who's back from maternity leave to a faculty adviser for a new tankery club."

"Even considering the decline in interest in tankery, Instructor Atago?" Maho said.

"Part of the reason why I did so was to combat that decline, Maho," Masae said. "I suspect that a fair number of people would be interested in tankery but there are certain barriers to it, such as it seeming outdated, or their finding it too difficult; Kinue did quite aptly describe how certain simpler activities can be more appealing, while tankery can seem intimidatingly complex by comparison. Perhaps if some of those people were persuaded to get involved in tankery, not only would it increase the number of people getting involved, but it would also encourage more people to see tankery as something they could do."

"Not all changes are good, Instructor Atago, and there are some people who are better off not doing tankery," Shiho said flatly, albeit knowing that she could not easily convince Masae.

"Perhaps, but I believe tankery needs to change with the times, which is where my school comes in," Masae said. "Rather than be a school solely for the elite, it's inclusive of those who wish to work hard and improve themselves. Rather than expect its students to fight for the school's glory, it seeks to give them the training they need to achieve what they wish."

Miho nodded. She had always known that she could never be a good Nishizumi heiress, simply because she was unable to practice what they preached, and thus could not preach it herself.

"And so, I sought to establish a school that I would see as a good one for my children to attend," Masae said, after swallowing a bite of her meal, "largely as a matter of principle. Would the cook who made this meal eat it? Would the person who made my suit wear it to a formal occasion? Would the architect who designed the building work or eat here? As such, I wanted a school that would help students become good tankers, but also good women."

Masae noticed that in the previous discussion, tankery had seldom been of more than tangential relevance, and was glad for that, since family was what mattered most, and Shiho's values came across most clearly as a result.

She had established her school in opposition to those values, in the name of finding a happy medium between victory and all the other reasons people do tankery. Hearing Shiho tell her about her beliefs had not diminished Masae's belief in her own principles, so now the time had come to share them with her.

Author's Notes

This chapter was partially meant to expand on Kinue's backstory a little, and reveal more about why she switched from soccer to tankery. It slightly ties back into her attitude toward the Nishizumi school; she's determined but not obsessed, and is fully aware that she never would have met the Nishizumi school's strict standards.

Edited to expand on Kinue a little, and fix a few minor errors