Splinter wanted to end this quickly. The longer it went, the more and more awkward it would be. His sons are ten years of age now. It about time they knew the truth about the birds and the bees. His sons all sat on the living room couch and waited for him to return. He walked in, cup of herbal tea in his hand, and sat on the ground in front of them.
Leonardo watched him the whole time he came in his eyes still followed him when he sat of the floor. Before he could ask why his father chose to sit on the ground instead of on the chair, Splinter spoke.
"My sons, its time you learn how children are made."
Michelangelo rose a hand. Splinter sighed. "Yes, Michelangelo." He took a sip of the tea.
The youngest said, rather matter of fact, "I don't want to have this conversation." He sounded serious. Splinter frowned. Neither do I, little one.
Instead he replied, "Why not?" Leonardo pulled himself from the conversation, obviously bored. Donatello had the moment he started talking, already in his own scientific world. Raphael rolled his eyes and started kicking his feet.
"Raph, already told me how babies are made! I don't need to hear again!" Master Splinter glanced at Raph, who was glaring at his younger brother. Leonardo's eyes rose.
"He did?" He asked in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me!"
To avoid the blossoming fight, Master Splinter spoke. "Raphael, is this true?" The boy nodded smugly. "Alright. Explain to me and your brothers."
"Sure," he prepared for a story. Master Splinter prepared for the worst. "So it starts with a fish. Its an awesome fish too. The fish swims in the sea all its life and fights sharks and mutated seaweed before it dies!"
"That doesn't make any sense." Leo interrupts. Splinter hushes him and urges Raph to continue.
"Well before it dies, it gives its gills too a bird to eat. The bird eats it and then throws it up into it's babies mouth. Then the babies learn to fly and fly into the clouds. Then they fertilize the clouds by peeing on them. Then the clouds rain and it becomes water. Then a lady drinks the water because only girls can make babies. Then she's pregnant and has a baby!"
Leo looked at Raph, then to Splinter, then to Raph again. "Is that true?" He inquired. Mikey nodded.
"Of course it is!"
"That doesn't sound right." Don assured his confused and worried older brother.
"You are right, Donatello." Splinter took another sip of tea. "Any other ideas?" Donatello looked away again. Leo scratched his head.
"I have an idea. But I don't think it's real."
Master Splinter smiled. "Trust me my son. It can't be to bad." Leo smiled and cleared his throat.
"So it starts with a flower. A sunflower actually. The sunflower collects the rays of sun and combined with the other forces of nature. It create a baby. But-" Splinter looked up when he said 'but'. Oh dear. "Then they are taken by a special alien species that steals the life force that creates the baby! Some of the babies have the life force taken and turn into fleshy people like humans. But the ones that escaped, like us, have to live in the sewer because they are a more advanced species."
Mikey snickered and Raph looked at his brother like he was crazy. It did make sense, Splinter decided. His sons still haven't learned the story of there existence and Leonardo had to come up with a conclusion of his own. Splinter shook his head. "It's an...interesting idea but, it's also incorrect.
Michelangelo's eyes widened. His two older brothers were both wrong! "Then what is it Master Splinter?" He asked, now actually intruded. Splinter took another sip of tea and rubbed his face. Here it goes. He has to rip the innocents away from his son in a matter of seconds. He releases a breath and then opens his mouth to speak.
Donatello beat him too it. "Are you talking about sex?"
...what...
Splinter's mouth opened in shock. He looked at his purple masked son in confusion. He couldn't speak. Leo looked at Donatello.
"What's that?" He asked. Splinter was still frozen so Don spoke.
"Its how baby's are born. Duh. I heard about it during one of Splinter's soap operas. The lady said she had sex with this guy and now she's pregnant." Leo nods in understanding.
"So is it like a kiss?" Raph questioned. Don shrugged.
"I guess." Splinter closed his mouth and blinked.
"We shall continue this discussion some other day." He stood and grabbed his tea. He chugged to whole thing down. "Time for bed my sons." Before they could say anything else, he ran to him room and locked the door.
He knew talking about it was a bad idea.
thank you so much for telling me!