Trigger warning: Just a warning this chapter contains suicidal thoughts and self harm... In no way am I trying to offend anyone who have gone through or thought about this stuff so Please don't hurt me if I offend anyone.

(("Sebastian". He took a deep breath "I am Ciel phantomhive ... The son of the current earl Vincent Phantomhive... I am the son who is never seen"

Sebastian had shock and pain written all over his face, he leg go of Ciel's hand and fell to his knees ... He was with a broken heart, Ciel was his first love, it was love at first sight and Ciel turned out to be a boy... Not just any boy , the soon of the queens guard dog.))

"Sebastian" Ciel whispered.

"You fucking disgust me Phantomhive, you must be some sick pervert to go as far as dressings like a girl ad fool men into loving you"

"Sebast..." Ciel started.

Sebastian interupted before he could continue talking. "Don't even say my name, I stood up for you and I can't fucking believe you made a fool out of me... Don't ever look or talk to me ever again... You really disgust me you faggot" and with that Sebastian left without letting Ciel explain one thing.

Ciel was angry with himself, he just didn't know what to do any more. He just wanted to crawl into a black hole and just die. He never felt this way about anyone before and he never wanted to hurt Sebastian, but it was now killing him knowing that his feelings for Sebastian shall never be returned to him.

The boy then proceeded to take out his old friend from his bag ... His knife "hello old friend ...its been a while, I decided I didn't need you again when I met him... But I guess I was wrong"he said quietly as he placed the blade against his skin and cut it across, when the deep red blood started to flow out of his body so did all of his emotions until he felt numb again for the first time in a while after meeting Sebastian.

His habbit started when he came out as being gay to his best friend in his first year of secondary school ... Ciel trusted his friend but he spread Ciel's secret around the school like wildfire. The bullying began and then he realised no one would accept humbdoe who he was. He was so alone, so afraid. One day he was cutting something and accidently cut himself, he realised it felt good and he liked the pain and the numbness that the knife had given him.

Once Ciel cleaned up the blood and the cut he wrapped it and put a Hoddie on to cover his scars.

He walked out of the bathroom with his hood up so he wouldn't get caught walking out of the boys toilets. Nobody noticed him, nobody was talking about him, no one was staring and no one was looking beat him up.

Sebastian on the other hand he would skip class for the day as Ciel was in most of his cclasses with him that day and he was too pissed off to listen to teaches drone on about pure bullshit.

He was tempted to tell bard he was right about Ciel but he felt he couldn't be
Betray Ciel like that ... But he had already done that ... He had done more that he had broken Ciel's heart as Ciel did to him. He had called Ciel disgusting, he had said that he wanted nothing more to do with him. He wanted to go back and apologise but his pride was weighing him down and stopping him from going to Ciel and saying 'I don't care I still like you'

Ciel had Sebastian's heart not matter what gender. But Sebastian's homophobia and pride was getting in the way of all that .

"That fucking faggot" he said as he tried to convince himself that he didn't need Ciel.

Sebastian was going to be true to his word and avoid the younger male like as if he was a disease.

~one week later~/Ciel's home/

Ciel woke up numb. He didn't care about anything again, he just wanted to get Sebastian out of his thoughts.

But no matter how much he tried he just couldn't do it.

"Ciel darling if you don't get up you'll be late for school" Ciel's mother said.

Ciel's mother was a loving woman of a wealthy lifestyle. She knew about Ciel though he hadn't ever told her, she knew her son was struggling but couldn't find the right time to ever talk to her son about the matter of his sexuality.

Ciel looked at his mother and smiled knowing that she was genuinely smiling at him... Ciel loved his mother so much, he just couldn't tell her his secret in fear that she would end up hating him for being gay.

"Is father at work today" Ciel asked.

"No, he is downstairs and would like to to talk to is both on an important subject"

"Is this about the engagement to Elizabeth, mother?"

She sighed and have her son a sympathetic smile, she didn't want to force her son into marriage but her husband wouldn't have it any other way.

Ciel say at the dining room table as he did every morning for breakfast. His father and mother soon joined him to eat their morning meal.

"Ciel.." His father Vincent started "as you know you are now to be offically engaged to your cousin Elizabeth, me and you mother have decided to make it officiall by throwing a ball for you both" he said as if Ciel had no choice in the matter, which he didn't.

Ciel sighed and poked at his food.

"Do you have something to say Ciel" his father enquired.

"What if I decided... I didn't want to marry miss Elizabeth father."

The earl put his fork down and looked at Ciel

"Ciel... Is this because you love someone else?"

"I don't know" Ciel said

"Did you meet someone at school?"

"Kinda"

"Does she know you are the next head of the Phantomhive family?"

Ciel went quiet and sank into his chair not wanting to answer the question.

"Ciel... You knew that you were to marry Elizabeth.."before the earl could Ciel abruptly stood up and slammed his hands down onto the table.

"How do you even know if the person I love is a girl" he quickly realised what he had said and out his hands over his mouth

"Ciel... What are you trying to say" Vincent said almost undertanding what his son has just said.

"Father... Mother, I think its about time I told you The reason i don't want to marry miss Elizabeth is because... Because" Ciel was becoming nervous.

"I am gay... I have no intrest in women nor I want to marry one... And even then I'm never accepted as a person anymore when my friends find out" Ciel admitted

His mother hugged her son and comforted the young not who was crying "Vincent... Do you have anything to say to your son" Rachel said to her husband.

Vincent walked over to his son and raised his hand. Ciel flinched a little as he thought his father would slap Mr hit him, but then his father placed his hand on his head and kneeled down to his rather short son.

"Ciel... That took a lot of bravery to tell us what you just did, I am not too happy with having to call off the engagement, but I am proud of you telling us both before it was too late"

Ciel hugged his father and mother feeling a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

~later that day at school~

Ciel didn't want to go to school as he feared that Sebastian had told everyone about his crossdressing tendencies.

But again hardly anyone paid any mind to him. He suspected either nobody cared about his sexuality and cross dressing or Sebastian hadn't told anyone.

But Sebastian made it clear to Ciel how he truly felt, he had said that if didn't love Ciel anymore.

Sebastian saw Ciel walk into school and saw him wearing a shirt, hoodie and jeans with all star converses. This was strange as Ciel wouldn't normally wear things like this. Usually if would be wearing girly clothes since at school everyone though of him as a girl due to his cross dressing.

But only Ciel knew he was wearing this attire to hide his ugly scars.

Then Ciel saw Sebastian surrounded by girls, his eyes threatened to tear up but he squeezed the blade in his pocket remembering with only a cut or two he could get rid of his pain and only feel numbness if he chose to.

Ciel knew that he shouldn't cry over Sebastian, he knew sebastian didnt love him anymore because of who he was. Then again it was partly Ciel's own fault, maybe if Ciel didn't dress like a girl then Sebastian still would've fallen for him. To hell with it Ciel would've been fine if they were just friends. And maybe Sebastian would also still liked him if he didn't lie to everyone around him.

Once again Ciel felt the need to have the blade against his skin again. Ciel looked at Sebastian and saw he was was wearing his K-on shirt with ripped black jeans and black high tops.

He started to feel silly for wearing such clothes that covered him up in such heat... Ciel remember it was to be the hottest day on record in London today.

He sighed and decided that it was time to go to Mr spears's history class once again. Where he had to spend a whole hour of his life avoiding any contact with Sebastian.

Ciel sat at his desk next to Sebastian, who was looking out of the window. Ciel laid his head on the table. Then class started and Mr William automatically felt the unwanted aura in the room he looked at Ciel and realised he wasn't paying attention. So he decided to talk to the two students after class.

Sebastian put a note on Ciel's desk then again turned his attention to the window and the outside world.

Ciel sat up and seen the note, he opened it up and read it.

Ciel... I'm not telling anyone your stupid little so stop being a moody little bitch and get over it
S.M

Ciel looked at Sebastian, who was looking out of the window.

He quickly wrote a note back to Sebastian. He then picked up and read it.

Thought you weren't talking to me ... Looks like some can't get over the fact that he is love with another boy

CP

As soon as he finished reading the note, he shot ciel with a death glare, but all Ciel did was smile as he remember when Sebastian told him, he liked Ciel.

Sebastian handed him another note this time Ciel felt like he was about to be insulted by the older student again.

I am not gay Phantomhive. I seriously thought that you were a girl. I didn't expect you you to say "hey I'm the son of an earl oh yeah I'm also gay"

Ciel once again looked at sebastian, who looked like he was ready to kill someone. Ciel and Sebastian sighed in frustration and the teacher caught Sebastian about to hand Ciel another note.

" sebastian... I see you have a note... Please share with us what you have written"

"Yes sir" Sebastian stood up " nothing will make me regret what I said"

"Right... I want both you and miss Phantomhive to stay behind at the end of class."

Both boys sighed and continued to make the atmosphere in the class very,very uncomfortable.

The bell rang and all the students except Ciel and Sebastian left the class.

" would you two like to explain to me what the hell is going on between you two... Because the whole class noticed the most uncomfortable vibes coming from both of you"

"It's nothing to do with you." Sebastian retorted.

Ciel glared at Sebastian and started to become even more pissed off the the older male.

"Well sir you see, I told Sebastian about the little thing we discussed a while ago"

"Oh... I see you didn't take the news quite so well as I hoped. Tell me Michealis you know Ciel's true identity and to be in my opinion his poor excuse for cross dressing is terrible... Do you know why, young mister Phantomhive does what he does"

"No sir"

"So the Phantomhive family do not become the laughing stock of England, Ciel is willing to risk his pride and reputation just to be with the person he loves"

Sebastian knew his teacher was right but he couldn't face the fact that he liked a boy.

So he decided to continue to lie both to himself and others around him "do you think I give a Shit... I mean he's a boy... I'm a boy... It's not natural for two boys to be together like that"

Mr spears slammed his hands onto Sebastian's desk making Ciel who was still sitting next to him jump.

"You know Michealis as I am part of the LGBT community I can tell you its perfectly natural to be in love with whoever you want to be in love with... I can tell you homophobic scum like you are the worst as a teacher I a teacher I ashamed to call you my student... You may be a homophobic little brat, but I can see in you eyes you are in love with Ciel... All you have to do is throw away that stupid pride of yours and tell him now that you like him"

Sebastian looked at Ciel who was twiddling with his thumbs, Sebastian noticed Ciel had also pink dusted across his face.

"Sebastian I undertand if you can't feel that way towards another boy, but I'd be more than satisfied to be friends with you." Ciel said quietly.

"No" Sebastian said.

"I undertand" tears began to well up in ciel's eyes and they threatened to fall.

"I mean how can you be satisfied with just being friends with the one you love... It's cruel to do that to yourself."

"Isn't it just as cruel to force someone into loving you... I'd rather spend my day by your side being your friend then spend the rest of my days alone without you... That is what people do when they love someone"

Sebastian realised Ciel really did mean it when Ciel said he liked him "Ciel... I'd rather have you as my lover than make you suffer being alone or just my friend... I first realised that I liked you when you walked into this classroom for the very first time and now to be honest after a week when you told of about world secret I started really thinking about it, I have decided to throw away my pride love you as you are... Whether you are male or female"

Ciel started to cry but these weren't tears of sadness there were tears of joy. Ciel finally had his feelings returned and he hesitantly hugged sebastian as if it was all a dream and this kind caring version of Sebastian wasn't real... But what made him realise it wasn't a dream was Mr spears.

He coughed and looked at the two boys "when you two are quite finished, I would actually like to go home today and not do the overtime"

Sebastian and Ciel walked home together, Sebastian dropped Ciel off at his house Sebastian leaned in for a kiss but then Ciel's butler tanaka opened the door making Sebastian jump away for the younger boy.

"Young master I see you have returned home rather late today, your mother and father were wondering what you were up to"

"Thank you tanaka you may leave now"

"Yes my young lord" he replied.

"Wow Phantomhive you weren't kidding when you said your father was an earl"

Ciel rolled his eyes and kissed Sebastian on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow Sebastian" Ciel said as he smiled.

The door closed and Sebastian walked away grinning like an idiot.

Ciel on the other hand was in conference With his parents for the second time for the day.

"So Ciel... Anything good happen at school today" his mother asked.

"You could say that, yes"

His mother gave an all knowing smile.

"Father, have you had a reply from Elizabeth's mother?"

"Yes... She isn't happy Ciel... She will not call off the engagement and intends to make the engagement public whether we like it or not"

Ciel's heart broke into two as he realised he couldn't be with Sebastian forever... He had to marry an overly hyperactive girl who would not shut up about cute things.

"No... What about... No I can't... Mother, father I'm dating someone now... I don't want to leave him. He's the only one who I want, please don't make me do this"

"Ciel we have no control over this anymore... You must in through with this marriage"

Dun. Dun. Dunnnn...

Cliffhanger lol because I know you guys love them mwahahaha.