Expect the Unexpected

Author: Reflection of a Broken Dream

Pairing: Kagome (Inuyasha) x Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho)

A Quick Note:

Disclaimer:

I don't own Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, or any of the characters!

Expect The Unexpected

Chapter Two - Unexpected Anxieties

Two Days Later...

Tap, tap, tap, tap...

Tap, tap, tap, tap...

Tap, tap, tap, tap...

Four thin fingers drummed lightly against a kitchen table nervously as the owner of the fingers re-read a letter that she'd gotten in the mail. The woman's brown eyes were clouded over in thought, worry, and fear as she read to the bottom of the letter, her semi-white teeth nibbling on her her bottom lip. Atsuko was a big drinker...but she hadn't drank a drop since she'd recieved this letter the day before. The contents of it had scared her sober. Eighteen years...had so many years passed already? It didn't feel like it. Then again, her son, Yusuke, had turned nineteen recently, so it was about time for her to turn eighteen. Kagome...

"Oh shit...," Atsuko groaned to herself nervously as her hands swept up to her face, cradling it as the letter dropped to the table. Her right foot starting tapping the ground quickly with her nervous energy, and her chocolatey brown eyes began to prickle with heat, tears threatening to run down her pale cheeks. How was she supposed to do this? How could she tell this young woman that everything in her life was a lie? How could Atsuko tell her that she'd given her up for adoption all those years ago...? ...Even if she could tell her, would she understand? Atsuko had been completely unable to care for her at that point in time, the woman juggling two jobs with an infant already on her hip. She couldn't have afforded another child...and she couldn't bear the thought of abortion... "So I gave my child away... Yeah, that sounds great. So much better than abortion- abandonment." She groaned and let her head go. It made a dull 'thunk' against the table as it hit, the woman's heart riddled with fear and nerves.

She'd rather not do this. She'd rather that poor girl just think that sweet, kind Hikari was her real mother. Hikari had been so kind to Atsuko at that time- and even now- too kind. She and her husband Hiro- may he rest in peace- had helped Atsuko through the toughest times during her pregnancy and then some. They'd even kept in touch over the years, though Atsuko had wanted a clean break from Kagome. She hadn't wanted to see her or have pictures of her, but they provided her with the latter anyway. It was painful to remember Kagome, that Atsuko had willingly- however reluctantly- given her up. That's why she'd drowned herself in booze all the time- to forget her...to forget the guilt she felt over giving up her child. She hadn't meant to hurt Yusuke with it (oh shit! Yusuke didn't know yet! How was he going to react to the news? Not well, probably... In fact, she had a deep feeling of dread about it...)...but she had and it made her feel all the more guilty for it. More guilt to drown away... She was addicted now, too, so it was a hard habit to break. She'd managed to stay sober the last twenty-four hours or so only by sheer will. But it all only made her want to drink more, to drink the pain away. She knew it wasn't really the answer to all of her problems, but she wasn't sure how to fix things anymore...

"Oh...," Atsuko heaved a heavy sigh, the sigh almost a sob. Little dark dots littered the letter and she realized that she was crying. "Dammit..." She wiped at her eyes a moment, scrubbing all of the tears away. A little of her black eyeliner and mascara came off and smudged her face, but she didn't care. It's not like she was going out or anything...nor was she expecting any company. "Shit...shit...what should I do? I guess I need to call her...sometime..." She looked up at the clock; it was three in the afternoon. "Unfortunately...now is a good time for her." Atsuko made a face at the paper, Hikari's neat print updating her on Kagome's life and asking gently about what she wanted to do reguarding telling Kagome about herself in about a month, on Kagome's eighteenth birthday. She had even left a copy of her phone number so that Atsuko didn't have to look it up. "Thorough...she was always thorough..." Atsuko grumbled to herself a moment, worrying her lip nervously, before she came up with a decision.

"Okay...I can do this," Atsuko breathed in and out deeply as she stood from the table, wiping at her eyes again. "I just need to call her and tell her not to tell Kagome. Let her believe Hikari is her real mom...she'll be happier that way." With a nod and another deep breath, Atsuko memorized the number and strode slowly to her phone. She purposely tripped over her feet a time or two and glanced over at the newspaper to try and stall a little. She sat on the couch and picked up the reciever, slowly and carefully dialing the number. Stalling wasn't working much for her today. Atsuko put the reciever to her ear and butterflies flitted about nervously in her belly as it rang several times. Then...

"Higurashi Residence, Hikari speaking," a very warm and familiar voice came onto the line and Atsuko felt herself hesitate.

"Ah...yes...umm...this is Atsuko, Hikari," Atsuko managed to get out after a moment of struggling. "I...ahh...I got your letter." For a nerve-wracking minute, the line was silent.

"Atsuko," Hikari spoke, her tone full of warmth and...was that a hint of relief? "I'm glad you got my letter...I knew it wouldn't take long." Atsuko could hear the smile in her voice as she merely hummed in agreement. "So...I know, years ago, that you'd said that you'd rather not tell her, but...Atsuko, I feel so guilty. It's eating me up from the inside out that I haven't told her, that she doesn't know. You are her mother, reguardless of what's happened...and I'm pretty sure that she would accept you with ease...after she got over the initial shock, that is." Atsuko hesitated again, cursing Hikari up and down silently that she had lain a little more guilt in her lap. This time it was for not telling Kagome; for lying to her, essentially.

"Um...," Atsuko started and stopped, having to re-think her arguement. "I still feel the same now as I did then, Hikari, I'm sorry." Atsuko hated how soft her voice came out, how shaky and weak it was. "I feel guilty about it, too, believe me, but...don't you think it's better this way? That she doesn't know?" There was a moment of silence. "I mean, I'm not the best mom. I drink a lot and I still have work two jobs to have to get by..."

"That's what I mean, Atsuko," Hikari piped up. "Kagome would understand that you couldn't afford to take care of her. You did the best thing you could for her- you gave her to someone who could afford to take care of her. She's a very kind and understanding child, Atsuko, Kagome will understand." Atsuko sighed softly in aggrivation.

"Okay, say she can understand that," Atsuko agreed. "But she's still going to feel- even the smallest bit- like I abandoned her. And I did. I abandoned her." Hikari tried to cut in and Atsuko talked over her to get her point across. "And there are still a lot of bad points about me, Hikari. I drink a lot and make a lot of fuss with the neighbors. I have a really bad temper and I'm not patient at all. I'm not a good mom...I'm not at all like you, Hikari. ...I think meeting would be a really bad idea."

"Oh, Atsuko...," Hikari's voice crooned gently from the other side of the line. "It's okay to be afraid- I'm afraid, too." This time Atsuko tried to break in but Hikari wouldn't let her. "She may feel a little bad about it, but she's a logical child, Atsuko. She's very smart. As I said before, she would understand." Atsuko frowned lightly, feeling like she was fighting a losing battle. Really, it was easy to give in when Hikari laid everything out and spoke in her warm, kind tones. She was a hard person to say 'no' to. "And don't worry about flaws, Atsuko, we all have them. So you drink? Most people do. Kagome has a friend that drinks a lot and she's had very few problems with him. She doesn't mind the drinking. And as for tempers...she has many friends with short fuses and she has one herself, sometimes. She's human- we all are." 'Maybe not all, but Atsuko doesn't have to know about that yet...,' she ammended in her mind.

'Not Yusuke...or Kurama or Hiei or Yukina...,' Atsuko listed off in her mind and trailed off.

"And I'm glad you're not like me- we're all different," Hikari continued her arguement. "Kagome knows well how different people can be- she's friends with a myriad of different kinds of people. From would-be gang members to mikos and drama queens...Kagome has many friends because she has an open mind and an accepting heart. She would accept you just the same, Atsuko, you only have to try." (Inuyasha was Hikari's first comparison, Kaede was the second, and Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi was the third.) Atsuko hesitated again, her excuses all lost to reason. She still felt it was a bad idea, but how could she argue with that logic? ...Or her soothing, passionate voice?

"Well...I guess...I could give it a try," Atsuko caved. "But if it doesn't work out, I'm gone."

"That's fine- so long as you try," Hikari's voice gave away her cheerful beaming. "Where should we meet?"

"How about...Yukimura's?" Atsuko tried. 'Yusuke and Keiko aren't likely to be there,' Atsuko mused silently. 'Yusuke has his own ramen stand to deal with and Keiko has her own job and schooling she's going through...'

"On Sakura street?" Hikari asked and Atsuko gave a hum of confirmation. "That sounds good...how about we meet at nine a.m. on the twenty-third? That way we don't have to wait too long..."

"Sounds great," Atsuko agreed more enthusiastically than she felt.

"See you then," Hikari replied cheerfully.

"See you then," Atsuko returned the brief goodbye, turning her phone off. "Dammit...she did it again..." She sighed, putting the phone back where it belonged as she slumped into the couch. "Why can't I just say 'no' to the woman? No?" Atsuko sighed again, running a hand over her face. "Because she's just so damn cheerful and happy and hopeful, so I hate letting her down..."

"Noodle delivery," a familiar male voice surprised Atsuko, the woman peeking through her hand as the man came in without permission. "How're you doin', mom? You don't look...right." Atsuko snorted half amusedly and half aggrivatedly.

"I feel like slamming my head into the wall a few hundred times," she admitted with a touch of amusement in her voice as her hand dropped from her face.

"Hangover...?" Yusuke started to ask, the man blinking in surprise. "Wait...no, you're sober..." Atsuko's amusement faded away with ease, leaving a deep weariness in her soul. She gazed at Yusuke as he observed her a moment more, the man shutting the door behind him with his foot, noodles in the takeout boxes in hand. "You've been cryin', too." Atsuko felt the burn as her cheeks flushed, the woman wiping at her eyes again, mascara smeared around her eyes. "Was it dad? Did that bastard hurt you?" Atsuko inwardly smiled at the concern Yusuke had for her despite all that he usually said about her.

"No, it wasn't him," Atsuko quickly interjected so he didn't get the wrong idea, the man setting the noodles down on the floor near to her as he knelt down to her level. He looked a little out of sorts- which he probably was, he wasn't good with loved ones crying- and worried.

"What is it, then?" Yusuke asked, his large reddish-brown eyes peering into his mother's eyes imploringly. "I haven't seen you cry- sober- in a long time..." He didn't speak it, but the last time had been his first death. It was still a touchy subject, so he didn't mention it if he could help it.

"I...," Atsuko hesitated. "It's nothing major." Atsuko swore up and down mentally at the lie, praying to kami that Yusuke wouldn't see through it. "I'll tell you in a month or so..." Yusuke blinked at her with his wide eyes, then again before they narrowed suspiciously.

"A month or so?" he repeated, his voice a deadpan.

"Mmm hmm," Atsuko hummed back at him, wary of his impending response.

"Are you losing the house?" Yusuke prodded, making Atsuko blink at him in surprise.

"No," she frowned at her son, not happy that he wasn't dropping it. 'Of course, knowing Yusuke, he won't drop it until he knows what's going on...,' Atsuko inwardly sighed. That thought made her hesitate.

"Gambling?" he tried.

"No," she deadpanned.

"Drugs?" Yusuke shocked her, his eyes narrowed even more at her.

"No!" Atsuko growled, shocked that Yusuke would ask something like that. She was a heavy drinker, yes, but she had no plans, whatsoever, to become a druggie!

"Are you marrying the bastard?" Yusuke questioned with a hint of repulsion in his voice, making Atsuko groan with aggrivation.

"No," She shot back at him quickly, mouth open to say something else. She was cut off before she could say anything.

"Then tell me what's wrong," Yusuke spoke, his voice both soothing and irritated at the same time. "You know I'm not going to stop until you tell me something." Atsuko shut her mouth and frowned as she looked into the worried gaze of her son. 'He's matured so much in the last few years...,' Atsuko silently sighed again, quietly proud of her son but also dreading what she was going to have to tell him. 'How should I do this...? I mean, he's going to find out sooner or later...' Yusuke's gaze was steady, patient, as he waited for her to speak. 'Might as well be sooner, I suppose...give him some time to come to terms with it.' Decision made, Atsuko took a steadying breath.

"The table," Atsuko spoke her first thought aloud, the woman thinking about the letter still sitting on the table. Yusuke blinked at her, obviously not understanding. Atsuko cleared her voice before she spoke again. "There's a letter on the table. I...I want you to read it." Slowly, Yusuke nodded. She could see the gears grinding in his mind as his eyes finally left hers as he stood and strode over to the kitchen table. Atsuko couldn't help but feel relief as his piercing gaze left her...but now a whole new kind of dread and nervousness filled her as he picked up the envelope and pulled out the letter. He briefly glanced at the pictures, but set them aside for the moment. It was suffocatingly silent as he read the letter...and then re-read it. His hands trembled slightly as he slowly lowered it and looked back at her with uncertain eyes.

"Mom...what is this?" He asked, his voice showing how shaken he was.

- End Chapter -

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