AN: Here's the completed challenge KB gave me. Though I ended up writing more than the 1.5k word limit. Whoops. Either way, it was approved, so yay!
Disclaimer: Aside from an unnamed OC, nobody else in this is mine.
Warnings: None, really. Maybe language and crackish moments? Though DeiSaso/SasoDei is a given.
For the first time in his life, Akasuna Sasori was nervous. It was a feeling he wasn't used to and he hated it. The way his stomach felt like it was curling in on itself, the fluttery sensation in his chest, and his uncomfortably dry throat . . .
Why am I doing this again? he wondered, fighting down the urge to fidget with his clothes.
"Hey, danna! I'm glad you could make it, yeah!" a voice called and Sasori automatically turned to face the other.
Oh, right, he thought wryly as the taller blond-haired teen approached with a playful smirk that sent his heart racing. Because he asked me to. To cover up his reaction to the other's appearance, Sasori snapped, "You're late, Deidara."
The blond faltered for a moment at his harsh tone, but a second later he shrugged it off. "Only by a few minutes, Sasori no danna," he huffed, rolling his eyes.
Sasori wasn't used to seeing his entire face since Deidara always had the left side curtained by his long bangs, but he looked . . . handsome. Turning swiftly away to hide the blush forming on his cheeks, Sasori said, "Whatever, brat. Let's just go inside before they give away our table."
Deidara hurried after the redhead and managed to catch his wrist before he could enter the building. "Whoa, calm down, danna, hm," he said with a chuckle. He ignored the redhead's attempt to break free and used his free hand to tilt the other's face toward his, inwardly musing over the adorable blush on Sasori's usually indifferent face. He's so cute when he's embarrassed. "Sasori, relax. There's no need to be nervous. Everything is going to be fine."
Brown eyes narrowed into a glare. "Deidara . . . I'm in a fucking skirt," Sasori growled. "Exactly which part of this is fine?"
Your ass is one thing, Deidara couldn't help thinking as he recalled the earlier sight of the redhead's derrière he'd been able to admire while Sasori was unaware of his presence. Fighting down a smirk, he said, "Look, I know you hate this, danna, but it's only for today, hm. We just have to go on this one date, be seen by several people, and then we can leave and get you out of those clothes." He couldn't help the innuendo and he savored the flush that decorated Sasori's face.
Sasori turned his head away again and growled, "You're going to owe me big for this, brat."
"Whatever you say, danna." Deidara smirked, his thoughts wandering to exactly how he could repay the redhead. He definitely had something big he could give his danna.
"Idiot," Sasori sighed, dragging the blond's attention back to reality. "You'll have to call me Sayuri for now. If people hear you calling me danna or my real name, they'll figure this out and then this charade will be pointless." Not to mention I'll be made a laughingstock for being caught in these stupid clothes, he thought, grimacing at the slight breeze that drifted between his legs. Even with the long stockings he wore, his legs were still way too exposed. He didn't understand how his cousin Temari could stand such a vulnerable feeling.
"Fine, Sayuri-chan," Deidara said and stepped forward so he could open the door for the redhead. "Ladies first, hm."
Sasori caught the smirk on his face and glared, trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks. Once this is over, I'm going to make him suffer! Sasori swore and strode into the restaurant. His anger was momentarily forgotten as he studied the fancy décor, and he subconsciously tugged at the hem of his borrowed skirt, feeling underdressed for such a place.
Deidara grabbed one of his hands and leaned into him so he could whisper into the shorter boy's ear, "Danna, stop worrying. You look fine, yeah."
His glare returned as he glanced sideways at the blond. "That isn't very reassuring, brat!" he hissed.
"Welcome to Marcatto's! Do you have a reservation?" a bubbly voice greeted them.
"Table for two under Kato, yeah," Deidara said, still uncomfortably close to Sasori.
The redhead elbowed him in the side when the receptionist was distracted and Deidara let out a grunt. "Let go, brat," he grumbled half-heartedly. Though he really wanted his personal space back, he also kind of liked the blond being so close.
However, Deidara didn't release him. Instead, he nuzzled Sasori's neck and murmured, "But I like holding you, Sayuri-chan."
The feeling of those lips on his skin and that warm breath caressing him made Sasori shudder, a reaction the blond caught judging by the smirk on his face. "Deidara," he managed to say, his tone warning the blond of his rising anger.
Sighing, Deidara gave a quick kiss to his neck before moving quickly out of hitting range. Not that Sasori attempted to. He was too stunned at the blond's actions and the way his body had responded to react beyond blushing. Luckily, the receptionist spoke before Deidara could tease Sasori further.
"Follow me," she chirped and the two did so, exchanging glances when the woman practically skipped to their table.
Once they were settled in (after an awkward moment where Deidara pulled a chair out for Sasori and the redhead just stared at him in confusion), they were given menus and soon left alone. Well, at least that's what was supposed to happen, but Sasori couldn't help fidgeting as he noticed quite a few eyes on them. And to top it all off, he felt that damned skirt riding up his legs!
"How much longer do we have to stay here, Deidara?" Sasori asked; his hands were folded in his lap in an attempt to retain his dignity. He shot a glare at the nosey onlookers and fought down a smirk when they looked away.
Fingers suddenly grasped his chin and he was turned toward Deidara, who had suddenly moved his chair very, very close. Sasori's breath hitched at the blond's proximity and he almost drowned in those pale blue eyes studying him intently.
"I won't stop you if you want to leave, Sasori," Deidara murmured so softly that Sasori barely heard him. "I'm just glad that you even agreed to this. You've helped me so much even though you had no obligation to, hm."
This time, Sasori could feel his cheeks burn, but for once he didn't care. "Don't be stupid, brat," he replied just as softly. It was a wonder how the blond couldn't hear the fast beating of his heart. "Of course I would help you. We're friends, aren't we?"
Deidara smiled at that and leaned forward even closer, his lips almost brushing Sasori's. "I'd like to be more than that if you don't mind, Sasori no danna," he purred.
Just before Sasori could answer, a sugary voice said, "Oh, what a surprise to see you here, Deidara! How are you?"
As if he'd been splashed with a bucket of ice water, Sasori snapped out of the daze he'd been in and swiftly pulled away from his . . . What exactly is Deidara to me now? he wondered, staring blankly as a familiar pink-haired girl latched onto the blond's arm. We're just friends . . . So why do I want to punch this girl? The answer was obvious, but he couldn't believe it. Rather, he didn't want to believe it.
"Hey, Sakura," Deidara greeted the girl, smiling easily at her even though Sasori could see how tense his shoulders were. "I'm just enjoying my date with Sayuri-chan here, hm."
Vivid green eyes latched onto Sasori then and he almost froze at the hostility hidden in that gaze. Almost. "Hello," Sakura said, and Sasori was impressed at how friendly she kept her voice. She looked ready to tear him to pieces. "I'm Sakura, an old friend of Deidara's. It's nice to meet you."
Sasori noticed the emphasis she put on friend, and saw the way she snuggled just a bit tighter against Deidara. He wasn't an idiot—he knew this girl was one of the blond's . . . old conquests. But it was the fact that Deidara wasn't trying to escape her grasp that was starting to piss him off. He opened his mouth to snap at his date, but then closed it immediately.
Shit, he thought and bit his lip to keep his growl from escaping. I can't say a word. She'll realize I'm a male if I do speak. Looking down, he pretended to be shy and for once didn't curse the blush that seemed to permanently stain his cheeks. It added to the act.
"Is something the matter?" Sakura asked him, smiling kindly. It reminded Sasori of Temari when his cousin caught other girls hitting on her lazy boyfriend. The kind of smile someone would wear right before they stabbed you in the back.
Deidara caught on quickly and finally got out of the girl's embrace. "Sayuri-chan is mute," he said and reached out to clasp Sasori's hands between his. Their eyes met and the redhead let out a small smile at the genuine warmth in the blond's gaze. "But we understand each other perfectly, yeah."
We really do, don't we, brat? Sasori thought, ignoring the feel of Sakura's glare on their joined hands. He felt an odd warmth in his chest as Deidara squeezed his hands and a smile curved his lips.
Instead of commenting on the intimate moment, Sakura asked with genuine interest, "So how did you two meet?"
Sasori wished Sakura would go away. He wished Deidara would just tell her to leave. And he wished their waiter would get here so he could distract himself from the sudden thoughts playing in his head. But luck seemed to have ditched him, because Deidara continued talking to Sakura even though Sasori could see he was beginning to get annoyed.
"Oh, we met in art class, yeah. Sayuri-chan needed help with a project and I volunteered to help her."
Deidara didn't even wince as "Sayuri" kicked him under the table. He fought down his smirk and instead decided to have a little fun with the situation. Sasori's cute when he's jealous, he thought with a glance at the redhead. The other was currently shooting him one of those infamous glares of his, but Deidara easily ignored it. Instead, he allowed a flirtatious smile to cross his lips as he said, "We had a lot of fun, didn't we, Sayuri, hm?"
There was that blush he loved so much. Poor Sasori really was easy to tease, and Deidara relished in that fact. Fighting down a wince from an even harder kick to his legs, he turned to smile at Sakura as she spoke.
"Hey, you actually do look kind of familiar, Sayuri-san," she said, studying Sasori closely. "Have we met?"
Deidara almost laughed at the slightly panicked look he caught in Sasori's eyes, but the redhead managed to calm down before Sakura caught on. To be honest, he thought as Sasori shook his head, I don't think I'd mind if Sakura knew. Or anyone else, really. As long as they knew Sasori was my . . . He smiled at the unfinished thought. If only life was that easy.
"You sure?" Sakura asked, leaning closer to Sasori so she could inspect him more thoroughly.
Sasori mentally cursed her persistence. He also wanted to reach across the table and smack Deidara for daring to fantasize about whatever when he could really use the blond's help right then. Luckily, the waiter finally arrived and Sakura was forced to lean away or risk being shoved by the man.
"Hello, my name is Sai. I'll be your waiter for the evening," the young man said with one of the most emotionless voices Sasori had ever heard. And the smile that Sai guy gave them . . . Wow. That was even worse than his smiling attempts at his grandmother. Not even noticing the awkward stares he received, Sai continued. "Are you gentlemen ready to order?"
"Um, Sayuri-chan is a girl, yeah," Deidara said dryly.
Sasori met the blank stare of their waiter and felt the urge to bang his head against the table. This was a stupid idea, he thought, looking away from that unfathomable gaze and down at his clenched hands. I'm going to be made a laughingstock after this. And Deidara will be screwed once everyone finds out about us.
"Oh, I see. My apologies, ma'am. You just have a very boyish haircut," Sai said bluntly, leaving Sasori blinking.
"Don't be so rude, Sai!" It was even more surprising that Sakura was defending him.
What's happening? Sasori wanted to ask as he turned to Deidara, who was looking equally as clueless.
The blond shrugged slightly and looked between the other two.
"You know each other, hm?" he asked.
Sakura opened her mouth to respond but Sai cut her off. "We're fuck buddies," he said, still with that unnerving smile and they all choked.
"Sai . . ." Sakura growled and grabbed him by the collar. The glare she gave him was terrifying. "I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut about that."
"You look upset, Ugly. Did I say something wrong?" The fact that he looked confused about her anger only added to the bizarre situation.
"Stop calling me that!"
Sasori didn't even think about it as he stood up, grabbed Deidara's hand, and yanked him to his feet. He quickly slapped a hand over the blond's mouth and hissed, "Just shut up and follow me, brat."
Deidara nodded and Sasori got them out of the restaurant just as Sakura started cursing Sai out, catching everyone's attention. Sasori was thankful for that.
An hour later found the two walking through a park with ice cream in hand. Sasori more or less had gotten used to his temporary wardrobe, but that didn't stop him from glaring at the occasional person that glanced at his legs. Well, except Deidara. But he'd learned by now that the blond was perverted.
"Hey, Sasori?" Deidara began as they approached a bench.
Licking the chocolate ice cream before it dripped down the side of his cone, Sasori let out a distracted, "Yeah, brat?" He didn't really notice Deidara grab his free hand and just kept pace with him.
"I'm sorry this turned out the way it did, hm. Usually my dates don't end like this," the blond sighed. He glanced at his melting strawberry ice cream which was now getting his hands very cold and sticky, and then he looked at the redhead. Their eyes met as they reached the bench.
"What are you talking about?" Sasori asked him as they sat, a frown on his face.
Looking a bit embarrassed for once, Deidara looked away with a sigh. "Well, usually I can take my date to a nice restaurant and impress them. I mean who doesn't like to eat at a fancy restaurant and get expensive food for free?"
"Deidara . . ." Sasori huffed and the blond turned to him, wincing at his annoyed look. "Idiot, you don't have to impress me. I'm not really wooed by those sort of things anyway." He rolled his eyes and added, "It also doesn't help that I'm still in these stupid clothes."
"We could take them off," Deidara said with a smirk, but Sasori could see it was only a half-hearted suggestion at best.
Shaking his head, he pulled his hand out of the blond's loose grip and grabbed the one holding the strawberry ice cream.
"You're incorrigible, brat," he said with a smirk and then licked the ice cream slowly. He mentally laughed at Deidara's flummoxed expression when he proceeded to lick his fingers.
"What the fuck, yeah?" Deidara gasped, pulling away.
"You shouldn't waste your ice cream, brat. It is an important part of our date, after all," Sasori said in a surprisingly calm voice. He was blushing, though.
Deidara stared at him with wide eyes. "So . . . Are we . . . ?" he asked softly.
Sasori smiled at him. "Yeah," he answered with equal softness. "We are."
Sasori didn't know who made the first move, but soon they were caught in a slow, tender kiss. Lips sticky with chocolate and strawberry ice cream meshing together sweetly and brown and blue eyes staring into each other before closing, getting lost in the moment.
Hands started to wander and Sasori let out a surprised sound as Deidara's fingers danced up his legs and close to his . . .
"Have I mentioned how much I love this skirt, Sasori no danna?" Deidara asked against his lips, a playful smirk on his face.
Sasori promptly smacked him. Though judging by the blossoming grin on Deidara's reddening face, the blond found the sting worth it.
"Like I said, brat, you're incorrigible," Sasori said, shaking his head. He wouldn't have his boyfriend any other way, really.
AN: And that's the end. Went kinda fast 'cause I typed it on the way to visit family. But I'm glad it's finally done. Now I can focus on other things.
Bitterness11: I've got the plot down for your request but it will be a while before I finish it. Although I did write part of the beginning already, so I'll likely work on it again soon.
Hoshi1431: Thanks again! Hope you like this!
~amkay