I know it has been a while but here is Chapter 5! I hope you guys enjoy.
Elsa
Everyone expected me to fall in love with a man. He'd marry me and we'd rule side by side with our perfect children playing at our feet. He would escort me to every appearance with my hand atop his. Our hands would join as we would glide across every ballroom floor. Oh and he would be so handsome and brave. For the longest time I believed what I was told, just as I also believed that the idea of human contact was impossible for me. With skin to skin, just a dream, I never would have ever given any thought to other opportunities for connection.
But standing there, in the clearing with Serephina, my pulse elevated. She was so close with her warm coloring. The enticing aroma of a smoking fire rested in the folds of her close. The urge was nearly irresistible. The image of my arms throwing themselves around her neck and pulling our faces together. It was so clear to see. One pale and cold, the other warm and dark… together.
The way she had described my abilities, the most beautiful and fierce storm, it was like she was speaking about me directly. I was so tempted to let it happen as I felt her mouth tug towards mine. I moved my hand closer till the tips draped across hers. Her eyes seemed to silently ask what are we doing? Mine, I imagined answered with I don't know.
Just as her lips were close enough for me to feel each puff of her anxious breath, she turned her face away. Clearing her throat, she pulled back her hand and moved away. She stood and began to move away. Did I assume wrong? Quickly I became despite to say anything to keep her attention, "W-why is it that fire and water or earth and air don't overlap?"
"Because," Serephina smiled calmly as she walked back towards me, tugging my borrowed horse along behind her, "water extinguishes fire, air dries and scatters earth. The opposites may attract, but they shouldn't mix."
She extended a hand to help me stand. I took it, and once we were both at the same height my hand drifted and took purchase around her wrist. "Are there no exceptions?"
"There have been your highness, but they never end well. Now, I believe it is time for you to return to your palace. Your family will be expecting you back soon."
"But there is still so much more I have to learn!"
She smirked, "And there is too much to teach for today. It will take time, but I will answer all of your questions."
"When then may I see you again if you are sending me away?" I asked stroking the velvety muzzle of the horse.
Her piercing eyes twinkled as she watched me. I only looked from the corner of my eye, but my attention couldn't have been more focused. She had moved to kneel once more, this time beside the horse. I glance over to see her waiting with her fingers laced. Her hold was sturdy. I trusted her and felt her strength as she boosted me up. As soon as I swung my other leg over, Serephina was at my side. Hands hovered at my waist, ready to catch me if I fell, but painfully concentrated on not making direct contact.
"I will wait here every morning. If you are able to, come join me and I will continue to teach you what I know."
"Would you consider staying perhaps as a guest in my home?" I offered rashly, "There we would always be able to—"
"No," she cut into my words coldly.
I tried to mask the hurt in my eyes, "Oh, well I will try to get away soon then."
"Elsa, it is not what you think. Do not confuse my answer with dislike. I am grateful for the offer, but it wouldn't work the way you would want it to." She hurried to say, laying a hand on my arm as if to hold me back from fleeing.
"I will come as soon as I can, I promise." I smiled down at her.
"I'll be waiting." She said stepping back. My horse and I rushed back the way we came. Returning to city, I silently wished I wasn't all alone.
Serephina
I slammed my fist into the bark of the nearest tree. Stop this; you know what happened last time. My forehead leaned into the rough surface as well. She was a queen. The woman had a status to maintain and there would be no way that, when the time came, she would stray from it. My life had rules. Make friends, but nothing permanent. Have fun but don't get comfortable. I saw the world, travelled from the most populous areas to the most desolate. That was the key. Constantly moving meant no more chances to lay down roots.
"Do I care this time though?" I whispered. Could it be worth it to try my luck once more? I had let my guard down only twice to let something meaningful form. And each time lead me to going on the run again. "Where do I even start? I've probably ruined it already."
For a second my mind pictured her in the shadows. She heard my words and ran to me. Elsa would turn me from the tree and bury herself in my arms. "No you didn't, no you didn't." she would reassure me, never letting go. But that was just a far off dream. In reality, nobody was waiting around corners to hear what you were thinking. There were no sudden, teary eyed reunions with confessions of love. I would be alone in that clearing till the next morning if I waited.
I backed away. I was wasting my time, and that was precious. Few had what I had been gifted: ultimate freedom. My adventures needed to continue. My feet carried me through the woods. Trees of all sizes and shapes were waiting everywhere I looked. It didn't take long to find one that surpassed the others in height. I grabbed hold of the lowest boughs and pulled myself up. Digging my feet into the side and grabbing each branch as they came, I began to move up the length of the trunk. It felt amazing to be reaching so high once more. The blue of the sky grew closer as I moved higher. I could imagine myself reaching out to touch it and feeling a roof of silk.
I moved faster and faster before arriving at the top. The narrower peak stuck out above the rest enough to let me get a beautiful view of the surrounding country side. Arendelle gleamed with bodies of water shimmering behind. This is what I was meant for. Gorgeous views, unique smells, the varying touches of the wind, I craved the far corners of the Earth and everything in between.
The only problem now was I craved the heart of a woman I could never fully be loved by.
Elsa
"My Lady, are you sure you are alright? I can fetch a doctor or…"
"No thank you," I pleaded, shutting down the young maid who had followed me back towards my room, "I will be alright, just be sure no one disturbs me till I call for anyone."
Without waiting for a reply I hastily slammed the door to my bedroom. Holding my fingers to my temple I squeezed my eyes shut trying to fight the ache in my skull. Light from the setting sun touched my room beautifully. I wish I could have enjoyed the calm evening more, but the day had been anything but calm. To say it had been a nightmare would have been an understatement.
It all started from the second I walked across the threshold after returning from visiting Serephina.
"Oh Queen Elsa, where have you been?" I was instantly ambushed by Eleanor.
"I was out visiting a friend. I didn't have anything scheduled for this morning and—"
"Forgive me ma'am, but the Noblesse de Robe has been asking for you all morning," she interrupted me.
I sighed in annoyance, "Well I will go visit him in a minute. As honored as I am by this guest, I do have other obligations as well."
"Yes, of course, but your sister and Kristoff have been left in charge of entertaining them."
My eyes instantly snapped open. I loved my sister and her fiancée was a good man but… I had little faith when it came to the two handling political affairs of any level. "Where are they now?"
"In the library, your majesty." I instantly bolted for the far Southwest part of the castle. There, nestled in corner of our home was the small library my father had created from the collection of books he had come to own throughout his travels. Of course, since his early death, the collection had seized to grow any further. I went in there often. I would sit in the burgundy, satin covered chair behind the oak desk he used to sit at. If I was lucky, I would get the faint smell of cigar smoke from when he used to celebrate business in his study, of course hidden from his little girls and wife. But I didn't care; when I got a whiff it was easier to see him.
The thought had carried me over to the doors of the library. I took a deep breath before pushing the French doors open. All worry turned to confusion as I met the three sitting together and… laughing. Kristoff had his lute and was strumming continuously while murmuring nonsense lyrics. Anna and Antoine laughed along from their chairs on either side of him.
"Well this is a happy sight," I smiled stepping into the room. All of their attention swung towards me.
"Oh Elsa, you're back!" Anna cheered from her seat.
"Yes, and I can see I was missing quite a good time."
"It is true your sister and your soon to be brother-in-law have shown me a great time, but you are who I have been waiting for all morning. And with that," Antoine stood and turned to the others, "Anna, Kristoff, this has been delightful but I really do wish to speak with Elsa privately."
"Of course," Anna was quick to grab Kristoff's hand. She tugged him right out of his chair and past me with his lute waving wildly behind. At the last second she turned and whispered into my ear, "I really like him."
I smiled back as she rushed out again giggling and talking animatedly.
"Oh my," I whispered trying to will myself not to blush in front of my guest who refused to advert his gaze to anything but myself. "May I ask why you were so anxious to see me this morning?"
"Last evening, I had a wonderful time. I truly felt welcome and I enjoyed dancing with you especially much." He began wandering closer. I turned to the closest row of books and studied the titles. Leather bound journals, atlas's, faded novels, all of which had been at one point in the hands of my father.
"And I am glad that you did."
"Thank you, but I was saddened by how quickly you seemed to disappear from the night. You went outside and then I only glimpsed you for a moment and you vanished till now."
I looked over my shoulder back at him. He had a relaxed expression on his face. Antoine had on a blue suit with a scarlet sash. His chest was embellished with small medals and ribbons showing his ranking in life. Wealth and privilege had carried him throughout his life. Even though I stared into his handsome confident features, all that crossed my mind was the image of seeing Serephina in the moonlight.
My mind was torn, and only a small portion could think about Antoine Salois. "I am sorry to hear that. I had received word from an old friend. She must return to her home soon and was hoping to meet with me a few times before. I promise I was not attempting to avoid you or ignore you in any way."
"Well that is a relief to hear. Tell me, why is she not staying with you here? Is there not enough room?"
"No, she is… self conscious around royalty because she is not from a similar setting."
"I see," he sighed before changing the subject, "Queen Elsa you are such a fascinating woman. So compelling and yet, so distant and polite."
My face must have been as red as his sash, and I had nothing to say. So he continued. "I would, very much like to perhaps get to know you better, and perhaps eventually formally court you, your highness."
"Th-that is a very kind offer, but I am very busy lately and—"
Suddenly the Noblesse de Robe was very close to me. His face hovered very close to mine as he stared into my eyes. One stray piece of hair had fallen free of its hold and onto his forehead. I was all too aware of how he'd caged me against the wall of books. Musky scents of old pages surrounded me just like his arms. I didn't feel threatened, no that wasn't the feeling. "I understand, just do not only focus on your work, Elsa."
In the blink of an eye he had his mouth down on mine. My feelings were mixed. At first I thought how dare he touch me in such away. No one was this forward with me. Then as he took my waist, and his tongue began to explore mine I began to slowly ease into his touch. This was my first kiss, and I was nearly 22 years old. I wanted closeness. Antoine was a safe choice. He would be accepted by my kingdom happily and maybe he could be good for me too.
My mind began to wander in the pleasure. At first it focused on only fantasies of where this could go and a what this future could be. But then something else surfaced. As his hands roamed from their resting spot on my spine, a symbol with four circles drew itself in a plot of dirt in my mind. A bronze shoulder draped with black hair and piercing, yet playful, eyes waited next to the image. Her beautiful face crippled with sadness.
No, I wasn't hers and she wasn't mine, but guilt consumed me. A bolt of frost sprung from me and hit Antoine across the face. He broke the kiss and stumbled backwards, breaking contact. "I'm so sorry." I hurried to say, reaching towards him.
"It is alright," he laughed nervously, waving me off and rubbing his check. A red mark ran across his face as if he had been slapped with a block of ice. He lowered both hands and smiled charmingly. He lifted one of mine and pecked it lightly, "We'll have to work on that. Good afternoon, my lady."
He left with his pride more hurt than his face, but I was more confused than ever. Yes, I had enjoyed our kiss, but sitting here now within my bedroom, nursing a headache, I wished more and more it hadn't happened. The rest of the day I had spent trying my hardest to do the work of my kingdom. I had been too distracted. Quickly I found the most convenient way to escape back into isolation for the time being.
Alone I undressed completely and wrapped myself in a blue, silk robe. I pushed down the handle of one of the glass doors of my balcony and stepped into the fresh air. I pondered what I had learned today, and what more I would tomorrow morning when I went back to the clearing.