Green Eyes on the Prize
byline: Anubis C. Soundwave
5. I'm doing it to save you.
Sam answers the door, groggy. "Danny...?" she asks, wiping rheum from her eyes. "What are you doing here?"
Danny briefly looks Sam over. She looks...hot, he muses. "I'll explain later, Sam," he says aloud. "Right now-as absurd as this sounds-I need to know where Dash is."
"He and Shane are in the dining nook, engaged in moronic male bonding," says Sam. "I'm stuffed full with perfectly-steamed, fresh garden vegetables and want to go to sleep."
"Did Shane cook enough food to feed the whole Ravens football team for you two?" asks Danny.
Sam nods, burping. "My compliments to the chef," she grins sheepishly.
Danny sighs. "The chef wants Dash to be a human sacrifice," he says.
"Look," says Sam, "Shane's kind of nuts, but he wouldn't kill his cousin just to call down the...actually, who the fuck am I kidding? I joked about it earlier, and he quoted Hebrews 9:22."
"Why would he even think this is the right thing to do!?" spits Danny.
"Because, Danny," says Sam, "for Shane Baxter, this farm was his mother. It fed him and clothed him before and after his mom passed away-and that happened when he was little. Losing this farm would be like losing his mother all over again."
"But..." Danny trails off as he furrows his brow in confusion.
"Imagine watching your mother as she dies, Danny," continues Sam, "and being helpless to stop any of it."
Danny stands stock still. "I don't have to imagine," he says calmly. "And it's all the more reason why I can't allow Shane to fail." He enters the dining nook...
...only to find it empty.
"Hm," says Sam, masking her worry with irritated snark as she follows Danny into the nook. "Abbatoir or altar?"
"We don't have much time," hisses Danny.
"They went out back to the barbecue pit," says Dashiell, tipping his hat as he points to the back door. "Boy ain't dead yet."
"Let's go," says Sam. "Not sure why Dash's ancestor won't just clobber Shane."
"Maybe the utter asshat part of the Baxter psyche is limited to Dash and his grandfather," scoffs Danny. He and Sam exit through the back door, headed to the barbecue pit.
"Shane," says Dash, nervously straining against the ropes. "Any reason why I'm tied up by clothesline to this butcher's slab wearing nothing but white boxers?"
Shane is silent.
"You know, Shane," says Dash, "you are a master frat hazer-you really go the extra mile. Is this what they do to all fraternity pledges in college?" he asks.
Shane turns his back on Dash, continuing his grim silence as he pulls out a switchblade. He turns around and approaches the butcher's slab, switchblade drawn.
"Shane?" asks Dash. "What are you planning to do with that knife, dude?"
"Don't worry, Dash," says Shane quietly, no emotion on his face. "I'll make this quick," he continues, "and it'll all be over soon."
"I'm...gonna die...?" wonders Dash, bewildered and hurt.
"You're a good guy," says Shane. "I wish it could be different, but-*"
A phone rings.
"Shit! How...?" asks Shane, looking wildly around the barbecue pit. "I unplugged my phone."
"That's mine," says Dash. "If you untie me, I can answer it."
"Yeah, you'll finish your phone call and then get back on the slab to get your throat slit," says Shane sardonically. "No, Dash," he continues, "I'll answer it."
"It'll be weird if you're answering my cell phone," smirks Dash.
Shane pulls Dash's flip phone out of Dash's jean pockets, opens the phone, and puts it to Dash's head.
"Yeah," says Dash. "Hey, Kwan! What's up, dude... I'm okay, more or less. Shane's a real hardass," he continues. "...yeah, he's got me tied up doing some crazy shit for the farm... Awesome...! You actually scored a date with that girl you won't tell me about...?"
Shane waves the switchblade around. "Would you wrap this shit up?" he mouths silently.
Dash glares at Shane. "Okay, Shane's bitching at me to get off the phone," he says with a thin smile at Shane. "Hope to talk to you later, man...yeah, bye."
Shane shuts the flip phone...only for it to ring again. Annoyed, he opens the phone and puts it to Dash's ear again.
"Paulina! How's Cancun...?" asks Dash.
"Keep this call short," scowls Shane under his breath.
"Sorry, Paulie; Shane's got me stuck on a project of his...you're right: it's another stupid ploy to get water to the farm," spits Dash, scowling back at Shane. "Yeah, his bathroom still smells like a urine-soaked outhouse, and yeah, he won't let Manson and me flush unless we're hit with diarrhea." Dash rolls his eyes. "Got to get off now before Shane kills me," he scoffs. "Bye."
"Thank you," spits Shane. "Let's just get-the fuck!" he seethes as the phone rings. "This damned cell phone again!?"
"What do you want from me, Shane?" snorts Dash. "I'm popular! I have friends. Maybe you should have found a lonely teenage virgin to sacrifice."
"Tried that already," Shane mutters, pouting at Dash. "Fuckin' nerd caught on too quick for me."
Dash laughs as Shane opens the phone again. "Oh, Star," he says. "How are you...? Yeah, Shane's still not getting laid. He's in shock about how booked my social calendar is," grins Dash, smug.
Shane closes his switchblade, pocketing it. I have to cool off, he muses. Don't want to be in the wrong frame of mind when the deed is done: can't afford to enjoy the thought of killing him.
Dash continues chatting with Star.
The boy's makin' it real hard for me not to want him dead, says Shane, a rueful grin on his face. It ain't even his fault, though: I was just as popular in high school.
Danny and Sam stare at the barbecue pit in disbelief.
"This has to be the longest human sacrifice ever," balks Sam.
"It's like every member of Dash's entourage has decided to call him at the worst possible time for Shane's ritual," grins Danny, noting Shane's mounting frustration.
In the distance, Dash ends another call; the phone rings again.
Livid, Shane flips open the phone. "What the fuck do you want..!?" he snarls. He abruptly drops to his knees. "No...no...I'm sorry, punkin'. Your daddy's workin' a bit too hard," Shane says gently.
"Shane's eight-year old is on the phone," Sam explains. "She named the family cow when she was five."
Danny blinks, confused.
"I didn't mean it, Emily... I'm sorry... I'll get you a snow cone the next time I'm in Folly Beach...what's your favorite flavor...that's right! Strawberry-pineapple-coconut, just for you...oh, your mama wants to talk to me...?" asks Shane, nervous. "Okay, honey: put her on..."
Danny and Sam hear a knock at the front door.
"I'll get it," says Sam. "You get ready to stop Shane. Dash's unbelievable luck won't hold forever."
"I'm not so sure of that," says Danny. "He managed to hijack our RPG campaign when he punched out our DM and nearly TPKed my party, remember?" asks Danny.
"Yeah," snorts Sam. "Your dad and mine basically had to save your ass until Tucker and I arrived."
"'Dashiell the Dunce' turned me into a frog! I was literally reliving the plot of Chrono Trigger because of this jackass," says Danny, grinning, "who, admittedly, is an awesome DM. We gained seven levels from his sick dungeon."
"Yeah," says Sam. "Even I'll admit that he rocked-even though the bastard nearly forced my character out of her alignment. Be right back," she says as she leaves to answer the front door.
"...we'll talk about this later, Helen," says Shane soberly. "I've got work to do. Bye, now." He looks down at Dash. "Now how'd you get them to call!?" he demands.
"They didn't want to jack up your phone bill with collect calls," says Dash, "so Helen asked for my number months ago."
Shane sighs. "Damned cell phones. There ain't no more calls, though," he says, "so I can finish this." Shane pulls out his switchblade...
...only for the phone to ring again.
"Who is it!?" Shane spits, attempting to sound like Dash. "I can't talk to you right now, Mom-I'm busy workin'...what do you mean 'put Dash on the line'!?" balks Shane.
"That...was pitiful," chuckles Danny, stifling his laughter.
Sam returns, with Tucker, Valerie, Virgil, Damon, Bethea, and Mary Jane.
"Ain't no way Shane gonna fool Dash's mama," says Bethea. "A woman know her child, now."
"Lindsay, quit bitching at me!" Shane spits into the phone. "Dash is tied up at the moment and can't talk! Good bye!" Shane shuts the phone...
...only for the flip phone to ring again...and again...and again...
Mary Jane approaches Shane, who trembles. "Shane-boy," she says gently, stroking Shane's forearm. "You just ain't meant to do it this way here. Let it go."
Shane drops to his knees as he lets the switchblade fall to the ground; he answers the phone. "Hello..." he groans, emotionally worn. "I'm sorry, Drew: I know I'm bein' a real shithead... I'll explain later...bye." He shuts the phone, then stands and turns to the assembled group, kicking the switchblade over to Danny. "How the fuck did Dash keep gettin' all of these calls?" he asks.
"I honestly have no idea," says Danny, relieved as he picks up and shuts the switchblade.
"'In a multitude of counselors there is safety'," grins Tucker. "With a little help from text messaging and Verizon Wireless."
"Son-of-a-bitch," snickers Shane, grinning at Tucker.
"Tucker," say Danny and Sam in unison, "you rock."
"Can we please free Dash now?" says Valerie.
Shane approaches the group; Damon and Virgil grab Shane's arms.
Sam heads to the butcher's slab to free Dash as the group leaves with Shane.
Dash smiles at Sam. "Hey, Manson," he says, "don't you think I'm the sexiest hunk of human sacrifice you've ever seen?"
"'Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise'," says Sam wryly; she kisses Dash's forehead, then turns to leave.
"No!" shrieks Dash. "Don't even joke, Manson! I don't want to stay out here exposed to this fucking humidity in my shorts!"
Sam smirks. "I feel sorry for Shane," she says. She unties one of Dash's wrists, then leaves the slab.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" says Dash ruefully as he finishes freeing himself.
"Hell, yeah," says Sam as she leaves the barbecue pit, entering the house through the back door.
Dash shakes his head a moment, then dons his clothes and follows Sam into the house.
"What kind of power does that boy Dash have?" wonders Bessie as she looks down at Baxter Farm with A. T. and Clockwork.
"None," says Clockwork. "He's a thoroughly ordinary human."
"But there has to be some reason Shane wanted his blood, other than the boy bein' undeflowered," says Bessie.
"I think," says A. T., "that the men of the Baxter clan will continue to surprise us with their will and perseverance."
"We won't be the only ones," says Clockwork.
Bessie stares at Clockwork. "Mr. Clockwork," she says. "You ain't easily surprised."
"True," says Clockwork, "but I had expected Danny to be a bit more stubborn with Dashiell. Sometimes, I even surprise myself."
"We still need pure blood to purge the land of Ol' Jackie," says Bessie.
"Let's...just observe them for now," says Clockwork. They phase into the house.
Shane tosses Danny a set of bound, aged documents.
Danny carefully opens the documents, then reads them. He looks up at Shane. "So, let me get this straight, Mr. Baxter," he says slowly after he sets the documents onto the dining room table. "You were willing to kill your own cousin, and be thrown in prison until the state of Georgia strapped you into a gurney and killed you-leaving your two daughters fatherless...for a chance at bringing rain to your farm."
Shane nods, his expression grim.
"Do you have any idea how utterly fucked-up that is, sir?" Danny demands.
"Yeah," says Shane, "but there ain't no other way to counter what your kin Barrineau did to fuck Oglethorpe Springs. I did the same kind of tests on my soil that Damon's boys from Axion did, using an outfit called DALV in Madison, Wisconsin. Whether you believe in 'magical sky fairies' or not," continues Shane, "the fact remains that the land is cursed, and virgin blood is required to lift the curse."
Danny glances at Dash, watching as the blond jock winces, fumes, and blushes simultaneously at the word 'virgin'. Somehow, says Danny to himself with a bemused smile, I think Dash is more pissed at Shane for outing him as a virgin than for trying to kill him.
"DALV bought out Axion, says Damon tersely, "and had you simply asked me, Shane," he continues, "I would have told you that even had you succeeded in murdering Dash for your ritual, his blood would not have had any effect."
"W-what!?" balks Shane.
"Human virgin blood had no more effect on the soil samples than any other blood," says Damon. "Stick to farming, man."
Dash glowers at the primary document in Shane's packet, then reads one of Damon's manila folders.
"So, we can put the myth of 'virgin power' to rest," quips Sam, mussing Dash's hair.
"Dude, we are totally savoring this rich blackmail material," grins Tucker. "Fair warning."
"It makes me all hot and bothered," adds Valerie wryly.
"Shane," scoffs Dash, "I'm sure that Foley would be glad to die for the cause."
"No blood sharing DNA markers with Barrineau, nor the blood of anyone of African descent, will work," says Damon.
"Axion and DALV done test this shit thoroughly, huh?" says Shane.
Damon nods. "We need to twist Jack's arm and get him to let us help," he says.
"You can forget it, Mr. Gray," says Danny. "Dad's in full 'my family's in danger' mode."
"My family's in danger, too," counters Damon curtly.
"I recognize that, sir," says Danny.
"You know," says Dash quietly as he shuts the manila folder, "I'd be happy to give my blood to the cause."
Shane stares at Dash, astounded.
"Problem is," Dash continues, "I don't want to die."
Shane fumes. "Damn it, Dash! How the hell else am I supposed to get your blood!? You and Sam are the only virgins in this room I can use," he continues, "and for obvious reasons, I ain't raisin' my hand against a girl!"
"Dude: way to presume I'm a virgin," fumes Tucker.
"You're black and kin to Barrineau, stupid," snorts Valerie.
"And you just outed yourself as a virgin, dude," adds Virgil.
Shane looks at Danny.
"My dad's a direct blood descendant who looks just like him," says Danny.
"And even if Danny were adopted," says Damon glibly, "Danny can't lay claim to virginity."
"Wait-what sad girl was desperate enough to fuck Fenton!?" balks Dash, whimpering. "I can't believe he popped his cherry before I did."
Valerie lifts a manila folder, blushing.
Mary Jane cackles. "You chilin' is so stupid," she says.
Dash shakes his head. "Tell me, Shane: did you get your master's degree from Sears?" he asks after a moment.
"No, asshole," says Shane, "from Texas A & M."
"Fine," says Dash. "Let's pretend for a moment that we live in the twenty-first century, where we don't have to kill people to get pints of their blood anymore."
"We do live in the twenty-first century," spits Shane, "and we don't...have to..." Shane trails off as he realizes Dash's point. "I'm a fuckin' idiot after all," he says after a moment. "I'll head on to Sears A & M and demand a refund."
"We don't have time for that," says Dash. "Just get me over to a blood bank so I can donate my blood and save you."
Shane stares at Dash.
"If my blood can somehow make it rain here-and I have no idea how or why," continues Dash, "then I'll give it. Besides," he continues, "I'm hardly Baby Jesus, and He's probably already pissed off that you didn't think that Him-God incarnate-being flayed alive and crucified by the Praetorian Guard was good enough to expiate the sins of Fenton's great-great grandpa."
"The boy's right," says Mary Jane. "Ol' Jackie done sent up a nasty stench to God's nose as it is. You killin' your own kin or anybody else in a blood ritual would have made shit worse."
"Then I guess we should thank God for the American Red Cross," says Shane sheepishly.
"If you want to make it up to me," says Dash, "then after all of this crap is over, go to Helen and let her take care of your raging needs in Folly Beach."
"What?" wonders Shane.
"I told you," says Dash. "I'm not doing this to save the farm. I'm doing it to save you. Baxters built a new farm before, you know," Dash grins. "Can't exactly build a new Shane."
Shane trembles, grinning as tears stream down his cheeks.
"If you're willing to do this, boy," says Bethea, "then let's give it a shot."
Dash nods; he stands up along with the others.
Everyone leaves the dining nook except Danny, still seated as he fiddles with the manila folder.
"You're not coming, Fenton?" asks Dash, standing in the doorway.
"I'm...going to see if I can get through to my dad," says Danny, worried. "I don't know if he'll listen to me the way Shane did to you."
"Family's easy," shrugs Dash. "I just talked to Shane in a way he'd understand. Later, Fenton. Don't trash my cousin's house." He leaves.
Danny fumes. "I'm getting out of here right now before Technus shows up," he mutters. Before he exits the dining nook, however...
...his ghost sense goes off.
Bessie, A. T., and Dashiell appear with Clockwork.
"I gotta be honest," says Bessie. "I didn't think he had it in him."
"It's not that surprising," counters A. T., looking towards Dashiell.
Dashiell takes his hat off. "The boy done me proud. Not quite at the level of his great-grandfather," he continues, "but shit-he's only fifteen. Who's gonna be mature at that age?"
"Fair enough," says Danny.
"Let's get up to that 'blood bank'," says Bessie. "We need to stick close to them."
"More than ever," adds A. T. "Daniel Fenton," he continues, "you're the only one here in Oglethorpe Springs who has a key to your father's heart. You're the only one with the power to protect him."
"But...no pressure," grins Danny, trembling.
A. T. and Bessie leave through the roof; Dashiell phases through the door.
"I still don't get why everyone thinks Dash's blood will work when the other tests failed," says Danny to Clockwork.
"Pure blood can only come from willing souls," says Clockwork. "Once the test subjects were truthfully advised that the soil was cursed by an evil ghost, the virgins freely donated their blood samples, and it weakened the strength of the curse."
"Will Dash's blood be enough," asks Danny, "to undo Jackie Barrineau's evil?"
"A single candle alone can't dispel the darkness," says Clockwork.
"Then...?" wonders Danny.
"As a moth is drawn to a flame," says Clockwork, "so are men drawn to the light."
"You're starting to sound like Kwai Chang Caine from Kung Fu," says Danny.
Clockwork grins. "I love that show," he says. "Kill Bill was kick-ass too, though."
"Yeah; Uma Thurman was hot," says Danny.
"True," says Clockwork, "but I'm a huge David Carradine fan."
Danny rolls his eyes; Clockwork chuckles.
"What am I supposed to do?" asks Danny after a moment.
"Only you know the answer to that," says Clockwork. "I'm the Master of Time, not the human heart." He phases out of the house through the ceiling.
Danny sighs, then opens the door and exits the house.
NEXT: Family ties go above and beyond the grave.