"So, let's get down to business."

I chuckled as I slowly sat myself down onto one of my couches. Shiki had never been one for beating around the bush once the formalities were out of the way. I threw a leg over a knee and clasped my fingers together in my lap. A small bead of sweat trailed down my temple and I swallowed a little harder then I would have liked. But aside from that, I looked relatively normal. Maybe a little sick, but rather healthy.

I had taken an extra five minutes upstairs to calm my racing heart beat. There was just something about having to talk to Shiki that had set my stomach in my throat. Fear Number Three. A form of confrontation. I had never felt such a need to flee before. It was kind of scary.

It was also a very uncomfortable feeling.

He was wearing that starch white suit he loved, sitting rather comfortably on my couch like we were good friends or something. His face was exactly as I had remembered it, and his dark and lightly greying hair was slicked back in it's usual style. I couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated. He was an executive of the Yakuza, after all, and I technically did betray him. He could honestly behead me right now and get away with it.

"Yes, let's get down to business." I said carefully, calmly. I prayed that my voice wouldn't give away my nerves. This is the man who tried to kill me. He actually sent someone to kill me! I felt little reassurance in the fact that Namie was armed and on standby upstairs. I really don't want to do this. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to be a part of this anymore. It took everything I had to prevent my foot from bouncing. I didn't want to talk about the situation, let alone to the man who caused the situation. I had never felt an ounce of fear over the shooting sine I had woken up. But the feelings Shiki had caused me were making up for that. I just hope he is not here to finish the job...

Shiki cleared his throat, pulling me from my mental crisis. I glanced up, noticing how normal he looked. The situation at hand didn't bother him one bit. His face was a little more hardened, and years of working for him told me that he simply did not like what he saw. Ouch. "So. Shall I begin, or would you like the chance to redeem yourself?"

"Redeem myself?" Red flags popped up all over my head and I bit my bottom lip. Does he know everything? Regaining my composure, I grinned. "You had me shot." It was a simple statement, and the fact that it did not traumatize me was evident in my voice. I could at least be proud about that.

Shiki chuckled before leaning back in his chair. "Ah, that wasn't actually my order. Kai took the matter into his own hands." He said distantly. "But if I do recall, you were the one who caused all this. You spread the rumour that there was a cop amongst my ranks. You lied to me, and told me you would look into it after my group broke up. You told me that the remnants of Yagiri Pharmaceuticals had spread the rumour to try and rouse me or break me, because of some important artifact within my possession. I'm assuming that the important artifact was that wax head, which got mixed up in the mail by the way, all by chance."

I felt the blood drain from my face. Shiki wasn't one for telling long stories like this, so I knew he was relatively angered. My mistake. So I had guessed right. The wax head was the reason why I had been found out.

How freaking ironic.

"After that, I am assuming that your out of town trip was simply to fuse what was left of Yagiri Pharmaceuticals with a Russian Foreign Trafficking company. You got them to cooperate by leaking false information that I had stolen some Dullahan head. They joined forces due to mutual benefit and challenged me. But guess what?" His eyes never left mine, and I felt myself struggling to hold his gaze. "I didn't have the head, because you screwed up the address and sent it to Kasuka Heiwajima's hotel instead. It's amazing what one wrong number can do. You were playing me. You were playing Yagiri Pharmaceuticals. You were plying foreigners. And you were leaking information to Akira Kai, the man leading half of my men away from me." His glare hardened on me and I subconsciously straightened my body. There was a little growl in my stomach. Something gently clawed at my belly. It didn't like what was going on. If I died, wouldn't it technically die too, because it wouldn't have a host anymore? So did that mean it would save me in a life or death situation? Was I even in a life or death situation!? No, not now! Panic exploded in my chest and I froze unnaturally still.

I didn't say anything. I was wrong. I had known I was wrong and yet I still played my game all the way until it had me killed. And here I was, facing the consequences. Now how am I supposed to change my life around? How does one simply change their life to be better?

How!?

Shiki grinned at my silence and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. I was ninety-percent sure that my face was white as a sheet. He spoke slowly. "You needed to pull a lot of strings for this one, Orihara-san. There are a lot of people right now who will pay good money to have your head. I didn't intend to have you gunned down, but clearly there are people angry enough to defy even me."

I was silenced once again by that. There are at least four large groups after me. There are too many main players to avoid... unless I move cities... no that is just running, I can't run...?

"I understand." I said quietly. "But I doubt you made an appointment just to tell me what I already know. What is it that you need?" I doubted Shiki had come all the way here just to boast about how he knew all about my little plot. How did he even find out?

"I have a solution for you."

I glanced up, not realizing that my gaze had landed on my knees. Where they shaking? His voice didn't sit right with me. And I struggled to meet his gaze. My silence continued, face hopefully unreadable, so he took the moment to speak again.

"You have two options. Either I let you go. Or I can rehire you."

What!? I blinked, not overly sure what I had just heard. He wants to rehire me!?

"I can walk out of here with the promise that neither me or the Yakuza will ever aide you or require you again. Or, I can rehire you. If you accept to be rehired – and understand that there will be punishment involved and trust jobs in order to reinstate you fully – you can ease the oppression I know you are suffering from. I am offering you a way out, Orihara." Shiki said carefully. His voice was solid and so was his face. He was dead serious and completely closed off.

And so I considered.

There was just one thing about his idea that was missing. "What do you get out of it?"

"Your services." Shiki said quietly. "You will be doing all of my cheap and free dirty work until I can trust you again. Like a dog at the park on a leash. I'm not letting you off until I know you'll behave. Understand?"

I swallowed again, keeping my eyes level. "And if I decline?"

He snickered, leaning back on the couch. "Then all the gangs can get a piece of you. And I won't control Kai, who happens to be itching for a second chance to kill you. And in the event that something were to happen in the future, I won't hesitate to put out a hit for your head."

Great. I closed my eyes as nausea bubbled up in my stomach. I exhaled gently, trying to ease my nerves. The little hellion in my belly wasn't helping any. It wasn't as bad as normal, but still. Couldn't it behave for half an hour? "Alright. I accept." There really wasn't anything else that I could say, right? I didn't really want to go back. The whole point of fixing my life was to get away from all of this. If I can ease everyone off of me, maybe I can take the opportunity to change everything around? Start fresh with no hard feelings?

I heard Shiki chuckle. "Good. Then I will see you tonight to start the process. Eight sharp?"

I swallowed hard once again. I don't want to go out at night. But if I don't go... Well. I didn't really have a choice. "Okay." I said quietly, lowering my head but not my eyes in defeat.

"Good." Shiki breathed as he stood up from my couch. "Keep this up, and you'll be back on my good side in no time. I almost like this side of you, Orihara. Nice and submissive."

I shuddered, forcing myself to stand up. My stomach flipped and I couldn't help but shove my trembling hands into my pockets. "Don't get used to it." I tried to flash my best smile but I knew it was weak. My eyes couldn't even meet his. "Is this all you came here for?"

"Yes, I have some other business to attend to in Shinjuku. I will be going now." He said as we walked towards my door. "Nice to see you alive and breathing, Orihara. Pleasure doing business."

"Thank you." I said simply, opening the door for the man as he shuffled into his jacket. He paused before going out, one of his lackeys peering at me from the hallway with a glare. I was almost certain that everyone knew about my huge failure.

Great.

"Just as a word of caution," he said, leaning in with an obvious grin, "I really hope Miss Yagiri didn't hear any of that. She'll be really mad." He waved just as a dead weight hit my stomach. The shock didn't touch my face, but Shiki had always been a little more insightful then everyone else. He laughed as he turned to leave. I completely forgot about Namie! "We'll be in touch."

And with that, he was gone.

I closed the door gently behind him, locking the handle and the deadbolt after watching Shiki and his lackey disappear into the elevator. I rested my forehead against the door. I exhaled deeply, still feeling shaky and on guard. Well. That was exciting...?

"Izaya."

Yes. I had completely forgotten about Namie. I hadn't mentioned the fact that I used her disbanded company to play in my game.

Whoops.

I turned around with my best smiled plastered on my face. I really hoped she couldn't see the sweat forming on my forehead. Was that really something to get mad over? It wasn't like I had gone behind her back, convinced her disbanded company that she had befriended a Russian Human Trafficking organization, and that they could possibly reinstate themselves and get back into business, or anything like that. Or. Something like that. How bad can it be? She is normally really stoic so I'm sure she won't be bothered."Yes, Namie dear?"

Slap!

Pain struck my face, and I brought a hand up to press at the reddened skin. "Ouch!" I turned to glare at her just to flinch away from her raised hand again. "Don't!"

"I really shouldn't be surprised, but I thought you had more decency than to lie to me!" She all but yelled. She took a step closer to me and my stomach churned in immediate distress as I stepped back with my hands raised. "So you had me make that wax head, just to play my company? Tell them that it was the real deal, and send them into a war with the Yakuza!? After we were taken over by Nebula anyway!? How could you? They're nothing but an underground organization now! You could have gotten us all into serious trouble!"

Well. She was a little more mad than I had thought. I guess her loyalties to her team ran deep. I raised my hands higher in defence, trying to wave the situation off. I stood my ground though, trying to keep whatever dignity I had left. "Namie, Namie, it was just all part of the game-"

Slap!

Okay. This was a bit much. I glared as she raised her hand again.

"Don't you dare." I growled, one hand pressed to my cheek. Something rumbled through me and I felt my hidden temper flare. "Don't hit me!"

She froze, suddenly unsure. She swallowed thickly before lowering her clenched fists and exhaling deeply. Weird. She looks scared. She seemed to come to a conclusion before storming off to her workspace without glancing back at me. "I am almost done the paper work you gave me this morning." She said almost in exasperation like she did not just slap me twice. "Is there anything else you need me to do?"

I turned away, stalking to my desk and my favourite rolling chair. "No, that's all for today. I have a dinner to attend to so you can leave at three-thirty." I said softly, falling into and then spinning in my chair. I felt slightly guilty for yelling at her.

You shouldn't feel guilty. A little voice inside of my head whispered. The same one that had told me to kick Shinra out of my apartment in the first place. You should enjoy it. And yell at her more. Hit her maybe.

I stopped spinning. My mouth went dry.

No. Those weren't my thoughts. I was completely against even touching women, let alone hitting them. It was a solid rule. Why did I think that? It's wrong! There was another scratch in my belly, more painful and ripping then before and I keeled over, hugging my torso. The creature was mad? Mad that I was disagreeing with it? I need to talk to Shinra. This thing might kill me. I took in a shaky breath and stood up, suddenly not sure if I was going to be okay. There was more clawing, and before I could plot out anything, I fell, taking a pile of papers down with me.

"Haah... ah..."

I gasped just as my face hit the floor when I landed on my knees. I was breathing hard and my vision had gone completely white. My heart beat pounded in my ears. I had been in serious pain all week, but this was taking the cake. It literally felt like the creature was chewing it's way up to my chest. What's going on?

Why do you fight me?

It's talking to me!? "Be...cause..." You're wrong! "Ah!"I gasped and curled further in to myself. The pain! It was searing hot like claws slicing me from inside out. And my hips... it was grabbing onto my hips and pulling, the sensation making me sick. I gagged or threw up from the pain, my body suddenly shaking and convulsing as I writhed in agony. I couldn't tell if the hand on my back was real or not, but I swatted at it anyway as I collapsed onto my side.

Leave me alone. I plunged into darkness.

I woke up groggily, rubbing my face with both of my hands. I could feel that I was tucked in to a bed with a thin blanket wrapped around me. It was light, but I couldn't tell if it was sunlight that I was seeing or artificial lamps. I felt... terrible. My stomach was growling from lack of food. My growing and now talking demon was snarling from lack of attention in my belly. It cringed as it scratched me, snapping me out of my tired haze. My head was throbbing. My skin hurt. My face hurt. My everything hurt. When did I even go to bed? I sighed, sitting up even though moving was uncomfortable.

"You know, when I said come over, I didn't mean collapse and have a seizure to get here."

I chuckled weakly, hearing Shinra shuffle right beside me. I dropped my hands from my face to glance at him with a small, sad grin. "What happened?"

Shinra chuckled at this, leaning back in his chair. I was in that cot again, the one I had woken up in after the shooting. Once again, Shinra was sitting beside me and the first person I saw. "Oh, something about an important meeting, and then you collapsed after. Namie called me. Said you seemed stressed and angry. And something else happened too. You should really keep your nerves in check. It's not like you to be so stressed." He waved his finger at me in the manner he normally did when I was misbehaving. He seemed calm though, like we hadn't been ignoring each other for the past week.

I nodded in agreement. "Am I okay?" I asked as I threw my legs over the side of the bed and sat up.

"You're as okay as you'll be getting for now." Shinra said with a hint of disappointment. He then pointed at an empty syringe, sitting on the beside table. "You're on an unsafe dose of painkillers right now. How do you feel?"

I glanced down to my toes, not really wanting to tell him that I was still in pain. His words also didn't sit right with me, though I couldn't figure out why. Well. I might as well get it over with. I had intended to come here with a purpose, after all. "Shinra. I'm sorry." I said quietly. I clasped my fingers together, my nerves getting the better of my. My heart began to pound in my chest, and it felt like I was suffocating. Why am I so jittery when I talk to people now? He shifted his weight and crossed his arms over his chest, and I took the opportunity to continue on. "For yelling and all the secrets. I'll tell you everything soon. I promise." I bowed, trying to get across the point that I wasn't joking, and that maybe I couldn't say everything he wanted to hear.

"Thank you." Shinra said quietly as I righted myself. There was a small, gleeful shine in his eyes, and he flashed me a huge grin, slapping me on the back. I almost threw up. "You've been out for almost an hour now, come, let's go eat. Celty should be almost done cooking by now. It's almost six."

I grinned, following him into the living room. Celty was cooking – I was a little suspicious about her cooking still – and Shinra led me into the living room, where sitting on the couch was no one other then Shizuo Heiwajima. He looked uncomfortable as he sat there in his usual spot. He was wearing he regular black slacks, but his vest was missing and his white collared shirt had been replaced with a cotton blue sweater. I paused, staring. It was so weird to see him in normal clothes.

But worst of all, I hadn't seen him since he took me home a week ago. And something very unsettling fluttered between my hips.

He returned my gaze with a glare.

"He won't bite, now sit down." Shinra ordered in an absolute tone, and I did as he said. I sat down on the couch, the opposite end from Shizuo, might I add, with my arms crossed and a huff coming from my chest. I could already feel the panic rising in my chest. There would be questions, but I hadn't been prepared for Shizuo's presence.

"What is this about?" I asked quietly. There was an awkward tension in the air, and I heard Celty fiddle with something unnecessary. Like she was stalling to give Shinra some more time. Something was up, and it did not sit well with me.

Shizuo sighed harshly. Shinra seemed to shift on his feet before glancing to me. "Now. I don't want to upset you..."

Those words instantly put me on edge. This is bad! This is so bad!

"But..." Shinra hesitated before taking a seat on his coffee table just before me, eyeing me sternly, "we are all kind of caught up in this, and let's just say, you're not the only one who was affected..."

I blinked, tilting my head away. Unsure. "Affected by what?"

Shinra leaned back, sighing once again. He remained silent, and I couldn't help but feel my insides churn. "Izaya. We need to talk about what happened when you died."

I would have left the room, had Shizuo not been there. Everything inside of me tensed, and I was left momentarily breathless. This was the worst question he could have asked. I hadn't been ready for this. I hadn't prepared. Fear Number Three? Confrontation and talking about my little demonic parasite. And it was almost ready to hit a terrifying level. A level where I would make rash and ridiculous decisions in the heat of the moment just to avoid talking to my favourite humans. I was starting to become intolerable to people asking personal questions, and I couldn't even bring myself to speak of the little hellion. But the fear, just as promised, wasn't the demon – the gift – itself. It was what other people who say or think about it, and then consequently say and think about me.

And let's just say, running sounded like the best option, especially as my breathing began to labour. But at the same time, the fear wasn't great enough for me to abandon my pride.

If I had to spill the beans, now would be my last chance.

"Specifically about what happened after you died."

I was frozen, because I didn't know what to say. Whether it was the excessive pain killers that had killed my thought process or not, I just couldn't speak. Shinra was staring at me with that look, like he was trying to read my every thought. Shizuo wasn't staring at me anymore, thankfully, but he was still too close for comfort.

I didn't want to tell.

I didn't want to admit it.

I didn't want to deal with it.

So I remained stubbornly silent.

Shinra broke the quiet atmosphere after a couple of minutes. He cleared his throat. He was just going to jump right in and say what he needed to say. I braced myself for his words. He started off quieter than I would have thought, "So Celty dragged you back from the after life. Now rest assured, she wouldn't even tell me about what happened," and he sounded a little jealous, "but she knows, Izaya. She knows what happened. I don't think you understand what occurred when you were shot. Celty went into a kind of trance and used her shadows, because they can become a part of death on a spiritual level, and was able to grab your soul as you transcended to the afterlife. You were dead for maybe a minute, at most. But a minute dead can feel like eternity to a soul."

Shinra nodded, closing his eyes as the blood rushed from my face again. My heart pounded painfully against my chest. Celty knows!? Celty knows what!? Did she see!? Did she see everything that happened to me!? I remained stubbornly rigid even though I felt sick again. I felt like crying again. I felt like screaming and dropping to my knees and pleading for Shinra to help me.

But of course, I would never do that.

"And Shizuo was there, chasing everyone away. And when Celty pulled your soul back to your body, she returned to her normal self." And then Shinra paused, probably not for dramatic effect, "And she collapsed."

I was silent. Shizuo didn't even move where he sat. I swallowed thickly. The tension in the air was suffocating.

Shinra sighed, leaning back. "I thought she had just exerted too much energy, right? But I was more worried about you at the time, because you were practically dying right before my eyes, and Shizuo literally threw both of you over his shoulders and ran here like a crazy lunatic. He broke down my door." Shinra allowed a light smile to grace his face. "And I told you what happened. I treated you. You were out for a week, and then you woke up." Shinra nodded with his eyes closed, seeing how no one else was participating in the conversation. I felt so distant, that it almost felt like he was talking to himself.

"Celty was out cold for two days." Shinra's eyes slowly opened, "when she woke up, she went into a hysterical panic. Shaking in fear. She told me there was fatal danger nearby. Something bad, terrifyingly strong and other worldly. First thing she did was check on you, with her shadows and everything. And then. She went and checked every room in the house. She even went as far as to build a shadow barrier around us. Shizuo had to call me just to get in one day!" Shinra was shaking his head while I remained passively frozen. "She was acting crazy and paranoid and terrified for two more days straight, and then she slept again. All day. All night. And well into the afternoon. And then she woke up calm as ever. She wouldn't tell me why, but that she realized something. She apologized, took down the barrier and everything, and stayed in your room, refusing to leave, until you were apparently going to wake up. She admitted to being scared. Whatever happened to you, she had witnessed, and it terrified her, Izaya. And I know Celty can be a little bit sensitive, but I have never seen her like that. There aren't even words to describe it. Her terror was so strong, that even Shizuo felt it. We all felt it. We didn't sleep, Izaya. We couldn't. And then she came and got me, and sure enough, an hour later, Namie was dragging me into your room because you were finally awake."

It was weird, hearing about what had happened during the week that I had been practically in a coma. It left me feeling unsettled. But at least the intensity of the story had the demon calm. Maybe it was listening. For some reason, it wasn't moving around like it normally was, and I was more than tempted to place a hand over it.

But then again, it was probably the cause of Celty's panic.

I could feel Shinra's words, though. All of my emotions were there, right on the edge of my mask. My eyes were impassively half lidded and all of my feelings were suddenly locked up with the key thrown away. A movement caught my eye, and I every so slowly shifted my gaze to the left like the motion alone would break the strings holding me in place.

Celty was standing beside Shinra stiffly. I swallowed hard, unable to think properly. What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? I probably looked sick. I felt sick. Very much so.

I kept my gaze level, not meeting anyone's eyes, silently wondering if this was the part where I was supposed to clear up all of the confusion. But I wouldn't. And Shinra knew that.

He sighed, shaking his head. "This is why I wanted you to tell me. You are not a Celtic death faerie, Izaya. If Celty was terrified by the after life, then I can only imagine how you feel about it."

Still, I remained quiet. My gaze dropped down to the carpet I had thrown up on oh so long ago.

And then Shizuo shifted, causing me to jump so bad that I almost stained the floor once again.

"You need to say something." Shizuo said to me rather quietly. His eyes weren't meeting mine, but the seriousness behind it was enough to have my stomach clench. "Celty won't talk about it unless you tell us what happened."

Shinra nodded in confirmation, wrapping an arm around Celty's hip and pulling her down to sit on his lap. "I want to help you. You need to understand that I have to help Celty. But I can't do that if you don't tell me what happened. I don't want you to feel like I'm doing this just for Celty, though. If you need to talk to her alone, you can do that. She didn't want to say anything because she thought that even you would reach out for help."

And it was then that a little clawing sensation occurred in my stomach. Just leave, Orihara. I didn't move, didn't speak. What was I supposed to do right now? The possibilities were endless, and I really couldn't make up my mind for some stupid reason. And on top of that, this little thing was talking to me again. Normally, nothing good happened when I listened to it.

"Izaya, we can help -"

I made my decision. "No." I stood up, keeping my gaze to the floor as I ignored the three people in the room with me. They couldn't understand, they wouldn't understand, what I was going through. I couldn't even tell if I was crazy. They were almost guaranteed to assume I was insane. I averted my eyes, contemplating what I should say and how I should say it.

Shinra spluttered before eyeing me with a harsh gaze. "Izaya..."

"I have a meeting to attend to. If I feel like talking, I will come back." I said rather harshly. What happened to winning Shinra back over? What happened to telling him everything, and helping myself?

Why couldn't I just push my pride out of the way and do what needed to be done in order to survived?

Updates should be weekly from here on out.