A/N: -whispers- I'm so sorry guys, that this took three whole weeks. (Three weeks? Three weeks.) University is a bit more demanding than I had expected. ^_^ But alas, enjoy the new update!

Perhaps this hadn't been my best option.

The room was obviously not that of a business man, with multiple leather couches seated around a glass coffee table and the entire space was devoid of anything personal that would normally assist in creating a comfortable atmosphere. The windows were small with curtains drawn tightly closed and the air was thick from cigarette smoke. The lack of circulation also impacted the cloudiness and I could feel it clogging up my lungs where I sat. It had that dangerous feel too it, thick and ominous like clouds of despair - I momentarily imagined myself suffocating, and that thought alone sent a chill down my spine.

I was seated at the edge of a couch with one leg thrown over the other. I was sitting rather rigidly - this was a Yakuza base after all - and my stomach was churning irritably. Perhaps my emotions had set off the demon, for it was growling lowly within the depths of my belly. I just prayed that there wouldn't be any discrepancies during the meeting.

Behave yourself, will you. My poker face was well intact despite the internal argument.

It had been going on for half an hour already. Akabayashi had kindly taken my jacket once I arrived, whether for his own safety against my blades or Shiki's, and then he had set out to retrieve the boss for our meeting. I had a small, little theory though, that they were making me wait just to unnerve me. And on top of that, apparently a few of their light bulbs were burnt out, so only the entrance to the room was lit, leaving me in taunting shadows half way in.

Then stop cursing and agitating me.

My mouth ever so slightly pulled into a tighter line, eyes trained on the walls as shadows danced and played. The little bastard had a point.

See, like that. Little bastard? Calling me names like that makes me mad. And when I get mad, I do stuff like this. A sharp bite had me cringing and clutching at my abdomen. I inhaled slowly to keep my mask at bay, exhaling even slower to try and prevent the tears from falling out of the corners of my eyes. The pain ebbed away softly, only partially from my gentle rubbing, like the creature was licking the wound. Stop cursing me. You are the cursed one here.

I refrained from rolling my eyes.

Ever since I had walked out of Shinra's apartment, the burden within my belly had suddenly decided to get chatty. Annoyingly so. I had hailed a cab almost immediately for the idea of getting caught in the darkness was enough to make me rush. The creature had started to make fun of the fact that I was scared, and since then, it hadn't stopped. I wasn't sure why it suddenly felt the need to speak, but it was. And no, it wouldn't shut up.

Just think, soon, I'll be the only thing keeping you company. At the rate you're going, you won't have any friends by the end of the week.

Eyes narrowed, I watched cautiously as a particularly large shadow morphed on the wall. A mouth like space suddenly opened from it, and it seemed to be mouthing words in my general direction. It was making large, foreign gestures with its shadow-like appendages. The lights were just bright enough to keep them all at bay; at this level, I knew they could talk to me if they wanted to.

I blinked, silently confused.

They were all silent. For once, their lack of taunting was unnerving.

I closed my eyes momentarily and sighed as I tried to relax. There was no point in dwelling over anything; things would happen the way they had to.

And just then, the door opened.

I had never felt so relieved and terrified at the same time before. This had honestly been a pretty bad idea – Shiki was known for harming misbehaving subordinates, after all. I turned to glance over my shoulder, watching as the head man walked into the room with a gentle smile on his face. His eyes looked resigned.

Sighing, he made his way over to the desk, leaning against the edge of it in a casual manner, before he waved me over.

"Orihara, let's make this quick."

Heart pounding, I stood up rather stiffly. I pressed my palms against the sides of my jeans and breathed in softly through my nose, forcing myself to relax. I had to keep up appearances, no? Exhaling just as silently, I grinned. It required more effort than I'd like to admit.

Acting naturally, I crossed the room and sat down in the only chair just before the desk. It was a swivel chair, and the familiar comfort of it did immediate wonders to my confidence. Lounging back, I let it rock side to side while I clasped my fingers together over my stomach. The little creature flipped, forcing me to slow my comfortable swaying. Perhaps it was nervous? Grinning, I met Shiki's gaze evenly. Despite what had happened, I still had to be sure and confident in my approach. "I agree. Let's make this quick."

I waited several moments for Shiki to answer, before my smile faltered. The man exchanged a glance with Akabayashi, who had paused at the door behind me. I suddenly became very aware of the fact that I couldn't see him. When did they join forces, anyway?

Shiki's eyes were suddenly locked on me, watching the way I moved and clearly revelling in the fact that the silence was beginning to unnerve me.

I swallowed thickly before offering him another small smile. Sitting carefully, I made sure to keep my mind focused. No wandering. This wasn't the time for that. My fingers knit together as the demon rolled too quickly, sending a wave of nausea up my body. It was getting rather large, and I could feel it's body grate against my ribcage with the movement. It took everything I had not to scowl. It felt hard, thick skinned with awkward protrusions that rubbed painfully against my delicate insides every now and again. Perhaps it had a tail? There was only one position in which it could sit comfortably, but of course, it knew this and would never allow me that peace.

I struggled to hide the shudder as it shifted again.

"So," I almost flinched when Shiki began to speak. His voice broke the deafening silence more painfully than I had expected. My stomach dropped, and I could only wonder what I had gotten myself into. "Where should we start, Informant-san?"

"Wherever you need to start." I said. I swivelled in the chair, feeling a little exposed by the fact that I didn't have my jacket. My stomach was noticeably round, bones notably visible. It was a weird combination, but obvious that there was something wrong. I probably looked more sick than I had earlier when Shiki had set up this little meeting in my office. The sweater I was now wearing could only hide so much, and that fact left me uncomfortable.

I felt Shiki's eyes trail over me quickly, before he met my gaze sharply. He didn't shift from the desk. His face also didn't give away anything that he was thinking, but he leaned forward just a little bit closer, letting me know that he at least meant business. "Let's start with an apology."

I probably paled because Shiki suddenly chuckled. "You have a lot to apologize for, Orihara. You understand that, right? "

"Yes." My voice came out strong despite the thoughts running through my head. He wouldn't make me do anything... unprofessional? Right?

"So. I will leave you up to your own devices, then." Shiki seemed secretly pleased to with the way my mouth turned down at that. He leaned back, struggling to keep the smile from his face. Apologizing wasn't my thing. It went against a lot of my beliefs, as well as ridiculed my pride. And on top of that, he had left the apology up to me. No 'say you're sorry' or 'give me special treatment', no, just 'apologize'.

My throat suddenly went dry and the demon stopped moving. Waiting. Anticipating. I licked my rapidly drying lips, lowering my gaze for a fraction of a second.

I had to play this right, and I had an idea on how to do exactly that.

I tilted my head aside, giving Shiki a sideways glanced from underneath my lashes. I made sure to keep my gaze just below his. I kept my voice even, "I... I am apologizing for the chaos I have unreasonably dragged you into, and I honestly plan to take responsibility as well as suffer the consequences."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they didn't sound sincere. I doubt Shiki will let me off with just that.

There was a chuckle from behind me as well as from Shiki. He shifted with his eyes narrowing, arms crossing over his chest. "Alright, and now say it like you actually mean it."

My gaze hardened and I grit my teeth. Do I really have to say those two words? I refrained from shifting underneath his gaze, opting to advert my eyes instead. I had to respect authority after all; my life was possibly in danger. I swallowed the lump in my throat and the demon flipped, its body shaking. Laughing. It was laughing at me.

Borderline frowning, I kept my eyes trained on a piece of lint that adorned the dark carpet. What do I say, what do I say? Was I supposed to honestly apologize? Did he expect that from me? Was I even capable of it? I'm Izaya Orihara. I'm capable over everything. And a somersault from the demon reminded me why I was there. What I was trying to accomplish. Who I didn't want to be anymore and where I didn't want to end up.

Change was necessary. No one said it would be easy.

It took me several painful seconds before I could properly form speakable words through the choking lump in my throat.

I glanced up, shyly trying to meet his eyes. "Shiki, I'm... I'm sorry." With a defeated glance, I let my gaze drop. He had mentioned earlier that he liked my submissive gestures. I hadn't intend to play him like that, but as usual, these things just sort of happened. Perhaps seeing this would result in a lesser punishment – a punishment I knew would be as brutal as my actions.

Because Shiki wasn't done. There was no way he'd let me walk away without a broken nose at least.

There was another chuckle, and then Shiki was standing up from the desk. I almost flinched. He smoothed out several creases from his white suit before glancing to me. "Orihara, stand up." His eyes were hard, and I hesitantly did as he said.

The weight inside of me wanted to hold me down, and I couldn't help but struggle to my feet. I kept my eyes lowered as I stood up a little more rigidly then I would have like. I tried to keep my difficulties from my face as I shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. Standing as straight asI could, I took a discrete inhale. I glanced to Shiki as he moved closer to me. Flinching, I involuntarily took a step back.

His face became stoic as he grabbed the chair from behind me, moving around me in a casual manner. "You should relax. I simply have a few questions for you. "

The chair was wheeled across the room. I brushed my sweating hands against the sides of my jeans, watching. "Ask away." I said carefully. He grinned before returning to the desk.

"Izaya Orihara, do you wish to be reinstated as an informant of the Awakusu-Kai, to rectify your wrongs?" He took his seat back against the desk, leaning into it casually like we were discussing the weather.

Opting for simple answers, I nodded. "Yes."

He smiled, linking his fingers together. "And under these special conditions, are you willing to do and say everything that I ask, efficiently and honestly, within a professional manner until your debt has been paid?"

"Yes." I let my body relax. I could feel the pressure as it tried to weigh me down. There was no way it would be this easy. I had messed with the Yakuza. The Awakusu-Kai. I started to question my decision. Was I really insane? Did I even think this through properly before agreeing to come? Is this really what I wanted?

He smiled, but it seemed almost sad. "Orihara. You will be reinstated as my personal informant. You will do as I say, with no questions asked or dirty business. Do you understand?"

I nodded. The room suddenly became tense and the flipping had once again ceased. I placed a protective hand over my lower belly. It all felt a little off. I felt a current of panic run down my core, and a cold sweat broke across my forehead.

"We will talk about the details after you can prove your loyalty." He looked away briefly, sighing. "You've seen how this works. I trust you will follow the rules – rules I know you are already aware of. Akabayashi."

"My pleasure."

I turned, suddenly confused. I had a hunch that Shiki wasn't talking about the rules to our agreement. My brain was dancing around the obvious fact that I had pretended wouldn't apply to me. Suddenly on guard, I took a small step away from Akabayashi as he briskly approached me. My mouth was dry, muscles rigid. Shiki wouldn't do this to me, would he?

The red demon sighed, slapping a large hand down on my shoulder rather forcefully. I tensed as my heart rate picked up, obviously on edge. He was both taller and wider than me, and no doubt stronger. "It's a shame it had to come to this." He said rather unconvincingly. There was a light in his eyes that were glowing dangerously. I swallowed hard, refusing to move. "Don't fight back now."

I had half the thought to duck, but his fist collided with my nose before I could properly execute any response. I twisted violently and fell, smashing my face off of the carpet when my hands refused to support me. Pain shot up my left arm, and I momentarily wondered if I had sprained it along the way.

Coughing, I pushed myself up with a glare.

I stood up shakily with a hand pressed to my now bleeding lip. I shot Shiki a dark look before turning back to Akabayashi. He was smiling, but offered me an apologetic shrug. So this was how it had to be done. I knew the rules. Don't fight back. Don't run. Don't dodge. Just take it until Shiki knows he can trust me again. "Don't fight." He said again – not that he really had to tell me twice – hand swinging out and connecting with my shoulder, knocking me back a few steps.

I grunted, breathing laboured as I braced myself for another hit. There was a cramp in my abdomen and I pressed a hand to it. "So you're going to beat me?" My voice broke into a higher octave as I gasped for air. Panic or pain, call it whichever.

Akabayashi shrugged, grabbing me by the front of the shirt and dragging me closer. "You look surprised. If anything, you should have expected this."

I couldn't stop the onslaught of panic that coursed through me as he pulled me closer to his face.

Hands digging painfully into my skin.

He struck me in the face again, letting me fall to the ground. A kick harshly found my side and I gasped, the little hellion jumping from shock and anger. The creature snapped back, biting me so hard that the whole world turned white. Tears broke out from the corners of my eyes and the intensity had kept me silently screaming. The shoe raised again and swung towards my stomach, and before I really knew that I was moving, my right hand was suddenly slashing imperfectly at the leg.

Cool metal burned my hands as Akabayashi's pant leg tore, and he stopped his assault with a low curse. He took a step back, and it was then that I noticed the red line adorning his now exposed flesh. Choking, I dropped my flick blade, silently praying to the God I don't believe in, realizing my mistake. I dropped the flick blade from my hand, sitting up and bringing my knees to my chest. I am probably going to die.

It was then that another pair of shoes stopped in front of me.

"You're on the ground lately an awful lot, Orihara." The comment was meant to belittle me, and it did just that. I curled into myself, mentally scolding the hellion to stay still as it grated against my insides. Stop moving. You're hurting me! Akabayashi stepped aside, Shiki taking his place. I glanced up, squinting through the pain at the man looming over me. He stared longer then necessary, before kneeling down and grabbing the front of my shirt. "You seem worse off than normal." He commented, pulling me up closer to his face. His eyes wandered, coming to conclusions about my current state. The air seemed to be trapped in my lungs for I was choking, well on my way to hyperventilating.

Shiki pulled me up, my back straight as a board, and staring at me curiously. His eyes traced over my features before venturing down my body. He eyed my hands suspiciously as they clutched my stomach protectively, one puffing out and turning an ugly shade of purplish red. He hesitated then, and I couldn't quite guess what he wanted to do. He let go of my shirt before reaching one of his hands in between my closed legs and chest to my midsection, gently wrapping long fingers around my wrists. His hands were a little to close to my lower body for my liking.

"Don't. Touch me." I slapped his hand away with my uninjured wrist. He eyed me carefully before withdrawing his hands. He eyed my stomach contemplatively, like he was trying to decide if it was a trick or not.

"If you have been previously injured, you should have mentioned it." Shiki scolded me. "It doesn't matter now, though. I won't have your death stain my hands just because your pride kept you from admitting your weaknesses. So I'll have to take a different approach."

So he's not going to beat me? I scoffed, just as he smacked me across the face again an open hand. I practically whimpered as I looked down at the puddle of blood forming on the floor. It was drooling from my mouth and my nose. I brought a hand up to my lips, gently touching the blood with disgust.

This was almost worse than when Shizuo had beat me.

Don't let him hit you again.

I glanced to my stomach in shock just as Shiki stood up, grabbing me by the front of my shirt and hauling me to my feet.

I stumbled into an upright position, my toes just touching the ground as Shiki held me up. He suddenly looked angry. "You should know better, Orihara," He suddenly pushed me into the direction he wanted to go before he slammed me onto my back and into the desk, towering over me. Gasping, I struggled beneath him as he grabbed onto my wrists. I hissed, my left one was most definitely sprained. "Betraying the Yakuza? Slashing Akabayashi? You're lucky I don't put a bullet through your skull."

I could feel that terror rising, the same terror that I had felt in Russia Sushi when Shizuo had cornered me in the bathroom. Squirming, I internally pleaded for him to let me go. My heart threatened to give out as Shiki pushed his body onto mine. He squeezed my wrists painfully before pinning them beside my hips, where he happened to be leaning most of his weight. I leaned my head back and tilted my chin up, keep my face far away from his.

"Do I need to remind you of your position here?" He growled. I had never seen him so angry. He was normally calm and quiet about his irritations, but this was something new. He had only physically struck me once before, and that had been to remind me of my place as his subordinate when I had first started. Because I was running my mouth. Details aside.

I shook my head at his question , and to my dismay I was starting to shake.

"Cat got your tongue? You're not easy to trust Orihara, especially after what just happened. " He was testing me while exerting his authority over me. I knew this, I knew that I wasn't supposed to retaliate. But of course, I wasn't the well behaved adult I was supposed to be. I shuddered, ripping my uninjured wrist from his grasps. My stomach was rolling in a painful way, and I once again willed the creature to stop its shifting. It only growled in response. I said don't let him hit you.

Scowling, I threw my half formed fist into Shiki's face – against my better judgement. If I wasn't dead earlier, I sure would be now. If only he would just get off of me...

You look better this way, Orihara.

I almost cried out. Shiki grunted, grabbing at my hand before I could strike him again. Akabayashi was moving suddenly, but I didn't pay it any mind. I was choking on my own breath, squirming underneath as an unreasonable emotion welled up inside of me. I couldn't help but shudder. Someone on top of me, holding me down. In my mistreated brain, and the after effects of Hell still present within me, this idea could only lead to one scenario. He wouldn't do something like that! The proximity had me shaking as I struggled. I couldn't just stop myself, couldn't rationalize that everything would be okay, and that was the part I hated the most. Because I knew I was wrong. Calm down, this is Shiki- shit!

The lights suddenly went out.

Gasping as the black enveloped me, I froze. Shiki pulled away for a moment and I half consciously grabbed onto his wrist.

The spirits were eager for their opportunity. Within milliseconds, shadowy tendrils were curling around my body. Slimy and wriggling, they passed over my skin with just enough pressure to tell me they were there. The ones at the edge of my clothing slipped under, running along my skin in an unsettling manner. They started at the edge, before slowly trickling up the sides of my hips. I squeaked, trying not to arch away from their touch and awkwardly into the man above me. They were whispering their usual threats, quietly and casually, condemning me to their torments.

"Akabayashi." Shiki sounded appalled. I heard Akabayashi snicker, like his tactic to subdue me had clearly worked.

"Shiki," the man flinched in my grasps, eyes shifting over to me. "Shiki... I'm sorry..." My voice came out as a choked whisper as snake like appendages crawled down the front of my shirt. Mys arms and body had been pinned, held fast by the shadowy creatures as they whispered their demoralizing threats. They would hurt me, and I know they could. Their words were getting more torturous and creative as they went, more terrifying and mutilating. The appendages were cold against my raising skin as they ran over my chest, forcing my muscles to clench in their wake. Down the center and over the breast with the bullet wound, I almost broke out crying. "I'm so sorry..."

The main light flickered back on. The shadows instantly dispersed back to the walls. I was shaking in Shiki's grip, my hand still unconsciously wrapped around his wrist. The pricked tears from earlier were travelling down my cheeks. I released the breath I had been holding as Shiki leaned back from me. He seemed mildly amused by my breakdown – simply assuming the had had been the one to scare me into submission – but there was an underlying tinge of concern.

He seemed to contemplate my condition as I turned my face away, silently cursing myself. The demon in my belly was laughing, so hard. It was shaking and quivering, and I was slightly worried that it might break something, like a rib, and that maybe it's movement was visible. He let me go while taking a step back, pulling me into a sitting position as he moved. "Get up. Is there something else that Akira Kai did, that I should be aware about?" He sounded mad again, but the anger wasn't directed at me.

I blinked, only then realizing what I had made the situation look like. I looked away. Mistake number one. "No."

He took a step closer and I flinched so bad that I slipped from the desk. I landed awkwardly on my feet with my hands raised in surrender as I struggled to remain upright. "Shiki- I-"

"Don't worry about it." The Yakuza leader took a few steps back from me, crossing his arms. He eyed me skeptically, but seemed to give up the idea of pushing me for answers. For now, at least. "Judging from that look, I'm going to say you've learned your lesson."

I nodded, straightening myself and adjusting my clothes. The tears were practically dried on my face. I knew Shiki was confused, but I didn't really want to tell him what that was all about.

Giving me a minute to regain myself, he patiently tapped his foot against the carpet. "We'll skip this for now, and you need to stop with the lying." I averted my gaze, trying to mentally explain what it was that I was feeling.

"Now. I have a job to discuss with you."