A/N: I am on a mission to finish this so that I can move forward with my life.

Irritated. That was the only word that could describe how I felt.

I was leaning back in my office chair, staring out of the huge window with nothing pleasant sitting on my face. I would probably end up with wrinkles if I kept up all of this scowling. Eyebrows crinkled and face just as stern, it was a wonder that I still looked younger than I actually was.

I was actually more surprised about the fact that I was actually alive still, to be completely honest. Given the fact that I had been murdered once, and then threatened daily by the massive creature living inside of me – where did I go wrong?

It had almost been twenty-four hours since my meeting with Shiki, and oh did he have a job for me at six o'clock tonight.

Quite the proposition, if I could put in my own thoughts and comments, and quite the irritating turn of events. If I had been given the option, I would have rejected his offer, and very quickly at that.

But of course, I wasn't in the position to make such decisions, especially after my little freak out last night.

I had a meeting with one of the very men who had tried to kill me, in – glancing over to the clock, I scowled even harder – two hours. Two hours. Would he try to take my life again? What is Shiki even thinking? I can't go meet him with just a couple of goons for back up, in case something goes wrong... is he crazy!?

"I'm done."

Namie's voice jostled me from my thoughts, and I ever so gently swayed back around in my chair to face her. The little hellion was sleeping or some shit, the beast calm and unmoving in my stomach. I had my hands gently resting atop it, as if moving them would wake it and plunge me back into my living nightmares. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow then." I said in a clipped tone, before carefully swinging my way back around to face the window. I didn't really want to deal with Namie. The faster she left, the sooner I could drop part of my facade.

What was I supposed to do if he tried to kill me again? Shiki said that I was supposed to be meeting up with Akira Kai, but last I checked, Kai and Ansen Hajime were working together, and also, if I remembered correctly, they had both tried and succeeded to murder me.

Stressed, my fingers tightened over my stomach. How could Shiki even trust them? Sure, Kai was still a part of the Awakusu, but Hajime wasn't. He was his own force, clearly the leader of the little group, acting on his own agenda, and just because Shiki was ordering for my safety didn't mean that Ansen would listen. He had seemed more than pleased to gun me down last time, and I had an inkling of suspicion that he wouldn't hesitate to try again.

"Izaya."

Sure, Shiki had a guy or two tailing me just to make sure that everything went smoothly, but what were the goons supposed to do if I was threatened? I didn't even know what they looked like! Where they would be! How they could possibly help me if Kai pulled a gun and just shot me right then and there!

"Earth to Izaya!" Namie abruptly spun my chair around, forcing me to face her. I glared daggers, forcing the stress and worry of my thoughts off of my face while my hands rubbed at my stomach to reassure myself that the demon hadn't been disturbed. If I could hang a 'do not disturb' sign over the thing, I would. "I've been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now."

"Well, now you have it," I snapped, shooting her a dirty and moody look before glancing back over to my window. I was so nervous, it made me want to puke. She spun the chair further around violently so that I couldn't avoid her, sitting on my desk in the process.

"I asked you a question." She said sternly, not that her voice ever wavered or hinted at any sort of gentle emotion. If anything, she sounded just as annoyed as ever.

"And what was this question?" I huffed, meeting her eyes but not really seeing them. I felt like everyone could read through my masks, and all the barriers that I had surrounded myself with in trying to keep this whole situation under wraps. I couldn't deny that it had just piled up into a huge, confusing mess, and that I wanted nothing more than to curl up underneath a blanket and sleep until everything was okay again.

"I asked you if you wanted me to stay. As in here." She said again, hands clasping tightly together in her lap. Her eyes were hard and unwavering. She had pieced together something that she wasn't supposed to. A small flare of panic rose up in my chest.

I hadn't told her about the details. Yes, I had explained that I had another important meeting set up by Shiki, but she didn't know the details, the who, the when, the why, or the where. She didn't know that I was being forced to play friendly with monsters. She didn't know anything about my arrangements. All she should have known was that I was letting her go home an hour early. "And why would I want for you to stay?" How much does she know?

She tsked at me, eyebrows crinkling her forehead. Had it not been for her personality, she could have actually been cute. "Don't think I'm stupid." She all but snapped, crossing her arms and straightening up. "I know you have a meeting, and you've been nothing but stressed since you got back last night, so I'm assuming you don't want to go. I do understand how the Yakuza work, you know. Did you even sleep?"

I looked away, disgust painting my face. "If you must know, no. I did not sleep because I have work to catch up on. And as for you staying late, I don't exactly want to pay you, so no, you don't have to." I had to play this careful. One little mistake and Namie would notice.

She added to my paranoia of being watched.

She sneered. "That's not what I meant. Why are you being so defensive? Also, I never asked if I had to stay late, I asked if you would like for me to stay late." She hopped down from my desk, towering over me, and I couldn't help but glare up at her. The need to fight or flee was slowly starting to rise up. The conversation was too one sided, control was slipping from my fingers. "I meant I could stay, you know, to make sure you come home? To make sure you're not gunned down in the streets once again? To make sure you're safe? As a legitimate excuse for you to leave when things get ugly? You're stressing out worse then normal, so I know you're contemplating on whether or not you'll survive this meeting. You've been staring out that window for five hours now, Izaya. You haven't slept. You haven't eaten. You haven't moved."

I looked away, because she was right.

"You really are a coward." She stalked away from me, rounding my desk to get to her own. She plopped herself down into her office chair like she was exasperated, and quickly loaded up her computer screen.

I stared at her back hard with my eyes narrowed, before I finally dared to shift my body and straighten. Almost a full minute passed by without her even turning to look at me, and my previous need to flee was suddenly replaced with curiosity. "What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you to stop being such a child and admit that you have a problem." She glanced over her shoulder with a sour look in her eyes, but the slight smirk on her face had the hairs rising pleasurably on my neck. Was she challenging me? In my own office? "I expect to be here all night. Actually, I might as well move in now, given how stubborn you are." She grinned, and I felt that exciting need for control return back to me, if only for a moment. I was rising to the bait, to the desire to fight back and return to the Izaya had had used to be, but a simple problem arose.

I hesitated.

I felt like I couldn't challenge her; like she could just take my own authority away from me. Was she being serious? I was honestly left in silence as my glare only intensified. Did she have any idea what she was saying!?

"And what makes you think I have a problem?" I all but growled, leaning my elbows forward onto my desk and linking my fingers back together, trying to keep up the cool, calm and collected act.

Her gaze didn't waver. "Seriously? You think you're alright? Have you even looked in the mirror recently?"

"Why do you care?"

She huffed, looking away. "Do you really need this much attention?" She suddenly whirled around in the chair, facing me again with that look on her face – the 'I just realized something' look. I cringed. Why was she being so intense? "You know, you've always been such an attention whore, so why are you suddenly trying to shine the light away?"

I snorted. "When have I ever let my personal self bask in the light, hmm?" I had never given out personal information, and I sure as hell didn't plan to start now. She knew this, and I saw her contemplate my words before accepting them with defeat. She glanced over to me almost sadly, and the pity radiating from her was disgusting. Disgusting enough that Iwould have spilled the beans if I could. If it wouldn't have hurt me so bad to admit everything.

This was a secret for a reason.

Wait.

No one said I couldn't ask for help...

But I was Izaya Orihara. I wouldn't ask for help even if my life depended on it – which it did. But why couldn't I? Was saving face and keeping my pride really worth an eternity in Hell? Or was there some deep, inner secret that I apparently wasn't aware of?

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Namie said, spinning back to her desk so that she was facing away from me. I didn't comment, just staring as my thoughts began to twist and mutate inside of my brain. Everything that I thought had made logical sense was slowly unraveling itself into chaos. "I suggest you start getting ready. Wouldn't want to be late, or anything."

I stared. This woman.

"Are you staying, then?" I asked carefully, the sensation of impending doom settling in me as my stomach suddenly churned. A jolt of worry struck me. The demon was still sleeping, right?

"Yeah. Who else would?" Good Namie, reminding me that I didn't actually have any friends, or anyone who cared for me.

Scoffing, I stoop up carefully. Whatever. If she wanted to stay, then she could stay. I wasn't in the mood to argue, and mostly, I just didn't want to wake the demon up. Did the prat even need to sleep? Or was he just screwing with me?

Clicking my tongue, I slowly made my way back to my bedroom. I couldn't deny though, that her dedication ever so slightly reassured me.

Perhaps I would survive this entire ordeal after all.

It wasn't exactly dark outside, and for that I was thankful. Normally, I wouldn't have taken the time to be thankful for anything – I was supposed to be a God, after all and everyone should be thankful for me – but given my recent string of events, I couldn't help it. I was thankful that the sun was just setting, and that by the time it disappeared behind the skyline of my favorite city, I would be home and snuggled up on my couch with some tea.

Or I should be, anyway.

I was nearing my destination with careful steps, making sure that I stuck to the sidewalks lest anyone try to nab me along the way. The streets weren't empty, but they weren't exactly bustling either. I was on the shady side of town, scheduled to meet up with some shady characters in a typical shady alley to make shady business deals. Paranoia wasn't one of my biggest flaws, but hey. I was allowed to be, right? On top of everything, the demon was still motionless, meaning one of two things: one, it was actually sleeping and letting me exist with some peace, or two, it wasn't actually sleeping, and it was simply waiting until the right time to bite and send my life spiraling downward.

Both options were very plausible.

From what I had learned over the past twenty-four hours, the creature was incredibly stubborn, and incredibly unpredictable. It had some witty retort for anything and everything, and if I managed to prove along it would just remind me that it could bite and scratch.

Such was my currently cursed life.

But within that moment, the demon didn't matter. I had a job to do, and angry spawn of Satan or not, I would be living long enough to send Namie home.

I can do this. Sighing, I turned into the designated alley way, eyes quickly taking in my surroundings as I walked deeper in. It was long, a small road placed between high and dingy apartments. I made my way over to the corner, promptly turning my back to it so that I could see both entrances – the one I had come from and the one directly to my right.

Satisfied that I hadn't been set up – yet, anyway – I checked my phone to make sure that I was actually early. Ten minutes, and Kai should be turning his way to come and talk to me.

Sighing, I glanced down at my stomach, carefully hidden underneath my favorite jacket. The job is simple. Show up to the meeting. Entertain Kai and his undisclosed request. Establish a business relationship by giving him what he wants. And then report back to Shiki, Nothing I haven't done before, and if something goes wrong, I've got some goons watching from afar. Speaking of some goons watching from afar, I casually flicked my eyes up to the rooftops, wondering where these hooligans were supposed to be. I hadn't seen anyone skulking around - I was more on edge then normal, so I would have noticed - and I couldn't help but get the feeling that maybe, just maybe, my backup never made it.

Wouldn't that be something.

"You're early."

I practically jumped out of my skin, adrenaline instantly shooting through my system as I whirled my body to face the man who was suddenly standing beside me. I felt my stomach jostle, a slow roll alerting to me that the hellion had been awoken from his quiet slumber.

Great.

Akira Kai stood not even four feet away from me in a simple blue sweater and jeans, a gentle smile sitting on his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He said, all smugness included. Relief washed over me when I noticed that he was alone. Or at least he appears to be alone. Maybe this meeting was exactly what it appeared to be:

I smirked, my face nonchalant despite my pounding heart. "I was just checking my surroundings," I admitted, straightening myself even as the creature slowly rolled in my stomach, spine painfully grating against my insides. "Never know when you might get shot at, these days." I let my eyes twitch, hoping Kai got the point that I was making.

He understood just fine, eyes glancing almost timidly away as he rubbed at the back of his head. "Ah, yeah, that's understandable, and no, I don't have any intention of harming you. But hey, listen." He turned back to me, smile still gentle. "We both work for Shiki, and we're both kind of on his shit list, 'ya know what I mean?"

I hummed in response.

"And trust me, I was sort of forced into this meeting just like you were, it's one of his test games." Kai gestured with both of his hands as if he were exasperated. I was still skeptical, but it did sound like Shiki. If it were up to him, he would have forced me and Shizu-chan to work together long ago, if only to make us get along better. "So really, we're both getting something out of this, but at the end of the day, he's more mad at you then he is at me." Kai smiled, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I am sure he didn't schedule us to meet up, in such a secluded area, for us to have a little chit chat about the past and the mistakes we have made." I said matter of factually. I wasn't going to beat around the bush. I wanted to know what was required of me, and then I would be leaving.

End of story.

"Sorry, sorry, it seems I've gotten carried away." He waved his hands in what I felt was mock apology. "Now. Yes. You see, I do have something I need from you, and seeing how you're currently sitting with the shorter stick, you'll be giving me what I want, right?"

I held back a comment, eyes narrowing instead. My hands curled in the pockets of my jacket, indirectly threatening the demon to remain still. I didn't need him and any of his shenanigans right now. "And what is it that you would like?"

Kai's smile morphed at this, and I realized almost instantly that Shiki had no idea what Kai wanted from me. "I want it."

"It?" I played dumb, heart rate picking up as I realized that I was being cornered in another alley. I suddenly became very aware of the fact that the alley was long, very long, with never ending fences and bricks in my peripheral vision blurring together until I could feel myself suffocating. So he wanted that? Why was I so surprised?

My answer was going to be simple.

No.

"You know, the pretty little face that started this whole mess in the first place. But I don't want the replica. I want the real one" He grinned maliciously, his entire demeanor changing. "You look like like you want to say no, Orihara."

I tried to swallow, but my mouth had run dry. "I look like it because that is my answer. No. I don't have it, and I am not going out of my way to find it for you." I lied.

He didn't seem to believe me, eyes suddenly glowing. "Oh, how unfortunate." He shoved his hands back into the pocket of his sweater. "You know, Orihara, you always have to do everything the hard way."

"I am aware," I said warily, turning my shoulder to indicate that the meeting was almost over. "Now if you don't have any other ideas or propositions, you're going to have to reschedule this meeting. My time isn't free or cheap, you know. If Shiki hadn't -"

A terrifyingly loud click had me cringing and flinching away, shoulders shifting and lifting in defense as I cautiously glanced back at Kai. A cold sweat broke out over my body, my heart momentarily stopping. A hysterical rumble echoed through my belly, the ominous signal that the demon was laughing, and probably reveling in my misfortune.

Kai had a gun aimed at me.

He was smiling sweetly, his left hand reaching out, palm up. "Orihara, I really don't think you mean to say no."

I stared down the barrel once again, fear evident on my face. It was aimed straight for my head. Panicky reassurance took over. Hajime has the better aim. Hajime has the better aim. If I run, Kai will miss. He'll miss. Fuck. Fuck. He might not miss. Shit. Slowly, I raised my hands in front of my chest in surrender.

"I really don't think I meant to say no." I said slowly. Mouth twitching at the ever present need to continue grinning like an idiot. Now is most definitely not the time! A rumble shook my stomach again; the hellion was laughing. It felt like my stomach was about to fall out of my body, along with my heart and brain. I felt sick. My hands were beginning to tremble. I had already expected this. "I really think I meant to say, let's discuss this further, shall we?" I slapped on a smile, eyes darkening at the weapon that had me paralyzed in fear. The entire situation suddenly felt too familiar again, and my lungs began to constrict, choking me from inside. "You want the head."

"The game isn't this easy, Orihara." Kai snapped, stepping closer to me rather aggressively. I stepped back on impulse, my back hitting the wall. I had purposefully cornered myself, after all. He continued to approach me, and the closer he got, the lower my hands fell. If only I could melt into the cold bricks. "You already said no." He was practically on top of me, several inches taller, and the gun pressed flush against my exposed neck. I shuddered, eyes never leaving his

"I did." I dared to say quietly. My mind was running blank. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to go back to Hell. Was this it? All of that struggling to try and change my fate just to end up back there?

I glared.

Kai snorted, the gun pressing into my neck harder. "So let me rephrase my offer, Orihara." Either you agree to give me the head, the specimen, the whatever you want to call it, willingly, or I will take it forcefully." He tapped the gun to emphasize his point.

I looked away, a plan quickly formulating in my mind.

Kai was desperate for power, for control. I knew exactly how to manipulate that - I had practiced on Shiki, after all.

Lowering my gaze, I leaned my head forward and shifted my shoulder defensively to put space between us as if I were trying to curl into myself, displaying enough submission to excite, but enough stubbornness to bait him into losing focus. If he liked what he saw, if he was that sick bastard I pegged him to be, then he would take the bait.

I just had to distract him for a second.

"I'd rather talk about this." I said quietly, daring to glance back at him and almost content to see his eyes sparking with confidence. All I had to do was continue feeding him his own ego. I glanced back at the gun, biting at my lower lip. "You don't need that." I let my mask crack for a quick second, exposing my true fear of the object in his hands, and just as I expected, he took the bait.

He grinned, head tilting as a hand came up to grip the shoulder I had wedged between us. The gun dragged down the front of my jacket suggestively, before disappearing from my body completely. I swallowed thickly, genuinely becoming confused as to what I was faking and what I was actually scared of. The gun must have disappeared into the pocket of his sweater, because his other hand suddenly slapped down on my shoulder. He held me in place with a wicked grin stretched upon his face.

"Let me ask you again, then," He said quietly, like the air between us would shatter if he spoke to loudly. I shivered, heart rate picking up and my already constricted lungs suddenly squeezing a breath out of me.

Not now!

He didn't even get another word out of his mouth. His body was too close, the alley was too small, and suddenly it felt like I had grown to big for the world. There was a heavy pressure weighing down my chest as I suddenly and vividly acknowledged his hands sitting on my shoulders. I acknowledged where this could go and how it could end, and that moment was probably the one that ruined my chances.

The demon laughed as genuine panic struck me, my next breath incredibly labored and noisy as I glanced up to him, stubbornly trying to reign in my own fears before they could ruin me.

Just like Shiki the other day, he seemed to like what he saw. Whatever. I didn't have time or the energy for this. I wasn't sure which fear, but one of them drove me to act, and they drove me to act now.

Similar to last night, my flick blade was swiping out before I even realized that I was acting. There was resistance against my blade, followed by a gentle gasped from Kai, and I momentarily wondered if I had killed him. No! Borderline panting, I caught him as he fell into me, fingers tightening around my shoulders.

"You little..."

Shit.

I grabbed onto his forearms and quickly glanced down as he slumped into me – luckily I had just swiped him as opposed to full out stabbing – and I maneuvered him around so that it was his back against the wall. He didn't put up a fight, or any resistance for that matter, but I still couldn't help but shudder at the gentle, knowing, smile sitting on his face.

I took a step back, shaking.

His sweater was soaked, staining crimson red, and his eyes were set out to kill. There was a single slit running up his shirt, and judging from how much it was bleeding, I was going to guess that I had swiped him harder than I had intended. He was awkwardly trying to fish out his cell phone with only one hand, the other firmly pressed against his abdomen, blood seeping between his fingers. "You won't... get away... guys!"

A cold shudder ran through me. Kai pulled out his glowing and most definitely connected phone. He brought the device up to his ear, the smile that was now spewing out blood growing. "Yeah, he got me good." He said, daring to glance down at the bleeding wound.

It had been a set up after all.

I quickly glanced over my shoulder, another shudder hitting me straight in my stomach. Three dark clad people had suddenly skulked into the mouth of the alley, and were making their way closer to me at an alarming rate.

No.

The entire scenario was all too familiar. My heart suddenly hurt, body suddenly itching to take either fight or flight, and my stomach was vibrating with intense laughter that wasn't my own. I took several steps back and away from Kai, glancing over my shoulder at the other entrance.

It was just like that night.

The alley was structured the same. I was caught in the middle, and people were trying to blockade me in. Kai had a gun. I wasn't performing my best due to the certain abnormality living inside of my stomach .

And Shiki had once again set me up to die.

I did the only thing that I really knew how to do. I pushed down the nausea and the fear, I ignored the way the creature was stretching out my insides, weight becoming painfully unbearable.

I fled.