So every monster of all kinds went to the party room to meet the new employee. All the monsters were confused. Where's the new employee? When can we begin the party already? Then suddenly at the podium in the party room, the CEO of Monsters, Inc, Henry J. Waternoose the Third, came up to the mic.
"Uh, hey guys, we've got a new monster to join us but the thing is," the room was dead silent, "it's a hooman."
Then the room exploded in fear and outrage. The crowded party room turned into complete chaos.
"OH MY GOD A HOOOMAANNNN?!" screamed George Sanderson.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIEEEEEE" yelled Celia Mae.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" hollered Needleman and Smitty.
"PLEASE CALM DOWN I HAVE SOMETHING TO EXPLAIN" boomed Henry J. Waternoose the Third.
Eventually, the screaming and crying died down enough so that the CEO could explain the situation. "The thing is, the hewman was so hated and feared by every other hooman that she was exiled, that's how scary she is. Also our good friends at the CDA (Child Detection Agency) already cleaned her of human disease and she'll start working here tomorrow!"
A chorus of relieved sighs filled the room. "Okay, here she is everybody she is called The Pink One!"
Oh god why is it so fucking pink my eyeball is burning, thought Mike Wazowski as he looked at the Pink One's hair as she walked up to the microphone stand. The Pink One took a long time to walk up to the mike. She wanted all the monsters to notice her pretty pink hair. When she finally walked up to the mike half the monsters were asleep. Then she screamed so hard that the sleeping monsters ran out of the room in fear.
"HELLO MONSTERS INK YOU CAN CALL ME THE PINK ONE I GOT THAT NICKNAME FROM TUMBLR HAHAHAHAHA IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET I GO ON TUMBLR AND I ALSO WRITE LOTS OF FANFICTONS"
The monsters that remained in the party room were all covering their ears for fear of being deaf. When the introduction finally was over Mike Wazowski screamed, "LEEEETS PARTY"
All the monsters in the room, save for the Pink One, took off their Monsters Inc hats since those were the only clothes they wore. Then Monsters Incorporated's resident tentacle monster started to give several monsters the time of their lives. More than 20 monsters were riding the tentacle monster and the tentacle monster was enjoying the attention. Roz the gigantic lady slug was fucking Sulley, spreading her slime all over his long blue fur coat.
"Mmm, I haven't had this much fun since college," wheezed Roz.
Meanwhile, Mike Wazowski grew a large green penis out of his gigantic eyeball and started to fuck his girlfriend, Celia Mae.
"Ohohohohoh, Mikey, lemme use my snake hair to suck yo dick." And Mike said "Yeah baby do it for the Wazowski."
The only person that wasn't participating was the Pink One, who was still standing at the mic. She was very confused at the way the monsters partied, and was upset that the monsters no longer gave her their attention. She did not enjoy this monster mash.
"OMG WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HOW COME I'M NOT DOING IT WITH YOUUUUUU?!"
All the monsters stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the pink one. "Can your hair give blowjobs like my girlfriend?" asked Mike.
"WELL YEAH SURE LET ME DO YOURS REAL QUICK ELL OH ELL"
And then the pink one jumped down from the podium and proceeded to give Mike's eyeball penis a blowjob with her pink hair. All the other monsters crowded around the display, curious about the ways of hoomans. After several minutes of this, Mike Wazowski screamed in pain.
"OH FUCK WHY IS MY DICK ALL PINK AND GREASY?"
He writhed in pain as the pink grease streamed down his dick and into his gargantuan eyeball. Celia Mae was at his side, comforting Mike as much as she could as his vision faded away. After a few minutes of moaning and the unmistakable searing noise of acid, Mike lay on the floor of the party room, his eyeball dick plopped to his right. At that moment, Mike Wazowski knew that he will never see again.
"TUMBLR WINS AGAIN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
All the monsters backed away from the Pink One immediately. Now they understood why the pink one was exiled out of the human world. And they shuddered to imagine what would happen if more pink ones came to their world.
"GOOGELY BEAR? GOOGELY BEAR! LOOK AT ME GOOGLEY-WOOGLEY!" screamed Celia Mae as she shook Mike Wazowski's limp body.
She turned towards Sully. "SULLEY-WULLEY! PLEASE! HELP ME!" Sulley looked at Celia. He shook his head solemnly, with a depressed expression on his face. The fire of the party that was once in all the spirits of the monsters is now quenched. All of the monsters knew that they could do nothing but watch.
"Schmoopsie, I… I can only see pink now…" moaned Mike Wazowski.