Eileen always wondered how things generally got out of control whenever she was around Rigby. Not that she minded, she actually enjoyed being with him since she saw him as a very kind and passionate raccoon. Although most people wouldn't classify him as that, more of a lazy, arrogant, and short minded rodent. Either way, it was his attitude towards everything that really made Eileen go head over heels for him. The confidence, the bravery, the macho-ness, and on the rare occasion the surprisingly smartness of the simple minded raccoon. If Eileen had to pick something she did not really care for about Rigby, it would have to be his "Partying". Benson decided to have another annual park celebration for staying open and being apart of the civilization that surrounded the patch of land. Benson decided to invite only the most pristine of citizens to the park to have a giant party for everyone to just get to appreciate the park better. However, with a lack of judgment and a mental lapse, Benson decided the best way to send out the invitations would be to have Mordecai and Rigby to send out the invitations. Of course one way or another, the whole invitations got screwed up and they "Accidentally" sent out all the invitations meant for the upper class to college students who were coincidentally on spring break at the time. However, one person did manage to get her invitation actually. It was the only way Eileen found out about the party. She checked her mail and found a very slobbery envelope that had what looked like her name scribbled in crayon. Eileen opened the letter to find a very nice card that had very fancy typed writing saying that she was cordially invited to the parks annual upper class citizens bash. However, the same person that wrote her name for the envelope had almost crossed out every letter on the card and wrote their own. The card said 'Hey hot ztuff, get ur sweet tale over 2 da park cause ur awesome. lo- from RIGBY'. Eileen sighed heavenly over the small card that Rigby went out of his way to rewrite and send to her. Sensing this wasn't supposed to be a very high class party anymore, Eileen dressed in something more hip and cool, a small bright colored skirt with a funky white t-shirt with multiple words printed on it. To anyone else, this getup would look absolutely dorky, but what Eileen hoped was that Rigby would at least like how she looked. The party was already crashing down when she got there. Multiple people were drinking and chugging down alcoholic beverage after alcoholic beverage. She shifted and walked her way through the dense crowd as she found a very hammered Rigby tumbling on top of a very high, for his height anyway, table as he knocked over entrees of small snacks people were told to eat. Mordecai immediately flagged Eileen down from the rowdy college kids and asked her to escort Rigby away from the party and somewhere he won't cause any trouble and he'll call her or she should call him when everything's cooled over. The next thing she knew, Eileen was forcibly dragging her ecstatic and drunken love interest through the crowd by the hand and to her car to take him back to her place. Luckily due to both of them being especially shorted than the rest, they didn't run into that much trouble over any rowdy party goer. Instead, Rigby would make a few comments that would cause a bar fight with some of the kids that attended the party such as 'Zit-boy', 'Fat-cow', 'Hippo-hips', and 'Steroids-guy'. Luckily everyone at the party was to busy partying with each other to hear the snide comments that Rigby made as Eileen pulled him quickly to her car and sped away as she struggled to get Rigby to sit still and to stop fidgeting with the seat belt, which brings us to the current situation that Eileen allowed to put herself in.
"What is this gray vine? It's, like, choking me babe." Rigby said as he began to softly chew onto the seat belt and viciously tugged at the belt.
"Rigby! Stop doing that! You need to wear a seatbelt so you don't smash your head into the dashboard and bleed in my car." Eileen said as she lightly tapped Rigby's head to make him stop chewing who began to lightly drool on himself from his nibbling's.
"Smash and... Bleed? Like blood? You don't want blood in your car? But it's so cool to have blood all over your car." Rigby said as he tugged back on the seat belt as Eileen pulled into her driveway and put the car into park and turned it off.
"Well maybe it's cool for guys but girls like me don't like blood all over their cars." Eileen said as she took off her seat belt and tucked away her keys into her pocketbook she carried in the car just in case she needed any type of medicine for allergies or small wet napkins to wipe her glasses.
"Hot chicks like you don't like blood? That's so lame." Rigby said as he slouched into the chair and gave a tired sigh, giving up on the seatbelt entirely and began to take a light nap in the car seat. Eileen blushed as Rigby said 'Hot Chicks' and 'You' in the same sentence. This was probably due to his massive drunken buzz he got himself into, or maybe it was due to the fact that beer usually was a truth serum to some people. Beer also made people very angry, sad, and happy in a millisecond which always made Eileen turned off to the drink. Eileen chuckled lightly at the compliment either way and got out and took a few steps to her front door, yet turned back and saw that he was still laying in the passengers seat which caused her to walk over and ask if he was alright.
"Umm... You wanna come in and sleep on my couch?" Eileen said as she opened the side door and reached over Rigby to unbuckle him.
"I can crash on your couch? Sweet! Just... Help me get untangled out of these straps." Rigby said as he continued to battle with the seat belt even though Eileen had already unbuckled him. Eileen gave a small worried laugh as she took Rigby's hands and released his grip from the seat belt and pulled him out of the car by his arms. Rigby was taken aback by this sudden contact that Eileen had just given and stumbled out of the car with no sense of balance, only being held straight up by Eileen who was holding him up.
"Well... Come on Rigby! Lets... Get you in my house." Eileen said as she struggled to get a good grip on him in order for Rigby to not fall over and crash his head into the ground, which would probably give him a bigger headache in the morning than the drinking did. Rigby draped his arm around Eileen as she lead him into her home, kicking the door open with her foot and dropped Rigby down on the couch, which caused him to get the wind knocked out of him as he laid down and flopped his arms over the couch. Eileen gave a small sigh as Rigby soon took a nap on the couch and began to snore loudly. Eileen than turned around in the living room and headed towards her bedroom before her home phone began to ring out loudly, efficiently waking up Rigby in the process. Eileen walked over and picked up the phone without reading the caller ID as Rigby groaned awake and sat up on the couch.
"Hello?" Eileen said as she put the phone to her head.
"Hey Eileen, it's Mordecai. Rigby being stupid like he always is?" Mordecai said over the phone, just to get an update over the situation.
"No, he's just really tired. He's going to sleep soon. Everything over there fine?" Eileen said as Rigby curled up and began to sleep on himself.
"Uh… I don't think so. Skips is taking care of the party but Muscle Man is demanding an arm wrestling match with him so I don't know how that will go. Right now me and CJ are trying to find Benson. He's hiding somewhere in the park right now… Hopefully. The last time something like this happened he was in a tree making owl noises. The good news is whenever he is like this I usually can get him to make a contract saying that me and Rigby can have a whole month or two off. So whenever the dweeb wakes up, tell him he probably has the day off." Mordecai said as a very loud howl was heard over the phone.
"Oh great. Found him. Talk to you later, gotta go." Mordecai said as he quickly hung up the phone to give chase to a hallucinating Benson. Eileen put her house phone down and turned around to Rigby to give him the news of possibly having an extended day off to see him slightly chewing on one of her pillows she kept on the couch.
"Um, Rigby, don't do that." Eileen said as she tugged her pillow out of Rigby's mouth and tossed it back on the couch.
"Why not? Since when was eating marshmallows illegal?" Rigby said as he crossed his arms in annoyance and frowned, causing Eileen to giggle.
"Since when did pillows taste like marshmallows?" Eileen said with a small laugh at Rigby's expense, not that he could tell in his current state.
"Pillow? It did taste like stuffing… Whatever. It doesn't matter to me. Can I watch some TV?" Rigby said as he looked around to see a television set was nearby.
"The one I got broke. I'll get my laptop and we'll watch something from the internet if that's cool with you." Eileen said as she went to her bedroom to retrieve her laptop.
"Yeah. That's cool. I'm cool… I'm cool as a cooler bear." Rigby said sloppily as he took a small nap while sitting on the couch. Eileen returned quickly with her laptop and placed it down on the table. Eileen than poked Rigby in the side to wake him up, in turn causing him to fall on her lap, causing Eileen to slightly yelp in surprise.
"Ooohhh man… I feel like i'm filled with beer." Rigby said with a groan in small pain.
"Rigby… Could you get up… I don't like the way you're drooling on my legs." Eileen said as she tried to push him off of her, and not to let him fall onto the ground.
"I'm sorry hot stuff. I'll turn around." Rigby said as he got up weakly and turned his body so that the back of his head landed on her lap. Eileen slightly blushed again over being called 'Hot' by a very buzzed Rigby.
"You… You really think i'm hot? Is that just with glasses or without?" Eileen asked the heavily intoxicated raccoon to get an answer that she still thought didn't really hold any truth due to him being drunk.
"Well without your glasses on your hot face, you're like hot and stuff." Rigby said as he made swipes near her face in order to touch it, but only ending up touching the other her that he saw due to his intoxication.
"But with your glasses. You're like, beautiful! Like hotter than hot!" Rigby announced proudly as he let his arm fall to the ground and away from the couch. Eileen was sincerely touched by Rigby's words, whether they be drunken statements or not, and felt herself to begin to warm slightly over his compliments. Eileen began to place her hand on Rigby's chest, just to have the feel of his soft fur at her fingertips. Eileen immediately, after placing her hand on his chest, quickly took her hand of his soft chest, only for Rigby to quickly grab her wrist.
"Nah. It's fine. Keep it there. Ya can feel my heartbeat like that. It's super slow." Rigby said as he led Eileen's hand back down to his chest. He was right though, his heart was beating slow. It was a very soft thudding sound and it felt really strong. Almost therapeutic really. The beating made Eileen felt even more at peace with where she was. Rigby gazed intensely into Eileen who stared down at him, giving a small smile that she was feeling his heartbeat.
"How's it feel? Pretty cool right?" Rigby asked as he looked up with a smile, nudging his on her lap and getting comfortable while Eileen was getting nervous over how close they were and became just a little frustrated over his sayings of how beautiful she looked.
"Are you telling the truth?" Eileen shot out due to her suspicions of Rigby and his compliments.
"Bout what?" Rigby asked, completely confused of the subject at hand.
"When you said I'm beautiful. Did you mean it?" Eileen asked as she lightly scratched the raccoons chest.
"Sure I did! You're all kinds of beautiful! You have a cute tail. Great butt. Cool boobs. Nice teeth. Awesome hips. Hot smile… You're just really beautiful." Rigby listed his favorite things of Eileen with a yawn as he slowly fell asleep on her lap.
"But all thats physical. Is their anything about me that you like? Besides my body?" Eileen asked now a little worried of Rigby's true agenda when it came to looking at Eileen.
"Sure! Like, your brain has so much smart in it! And you tell some cool jokes. Also, you have like a wickedly awesome laugh. And you're so good at video games." Rigby listed off more things about Eileen that made her feel just a tad better, but ultimately didn't make her feel like any of this was real. Just drunken talks. Eileen sighed and looked over to the clock near her computer, it was getting a little late. In order to wake up to take care of a very agitated Rigby to tend to his headache. Than she would leave for her job, suck up all her day dreams about him and get to work.
"You can sleep on the couch for tonight. I'll sleep in my room if thats okay." Eileen said as she almost asked for permission to sleep in her own room in her house.
"No way! I wanna sleep in your-" Rigby said as he tumbled off the couch and off Eileen's lap, spilling onto the floor.
"Bed." Rigby finished his statement face on the floor.
"Rigby… I don't know." Eileen said as she calculated some of the risks of Rigby constantly falling off the couch. She wouldn't be able to look at herself ever again if she found Rigby on the floor with a few bumps and bruises from a restless night on her couch. Besides, he does sleep on a trampoline with clothing for bed sheets. Rigby did somewhat deserve to sleep on a comfortable bed. What's the problem with letting him snuggle in her sheets?
"Alright. Just, no touching between us and we'll be fine. Come on Rigby." Eileen said as she helped the eager raccoon up by his shoulder who began to walk to the front door of the house.
"No Rigby! This way." Eileen said as she turned the drunken body over to the hallway and lead the way so he could follow. Rigby bumped a couple of times as he stumbled down the hallway, each time causing Eileen to look back now and than in case of him collapsing on the floor. Luckily they made it back to her plain old bedroom with a few pictures of family and friends, one giant picture of Rigby in a heart frame on her bedside table, which Eileen quickly tipped over and placed it down so Rigby wouldn't see it. Rigby than sat on her bed and jumped up slightly on it, giggling a little of how bouncy it was.
"Alright Rigby. I'm going to get changed and get ready for bed in my bathroom. No peaking alright?" Eileen said as she gathered stuff from her closet such as a red t-shirt and plaid green pajama pants.
"Aww… Alright. I'll just sleep here. Don't take to long alright?" Rigby said as he made himself comfortable on bed and began to sleep on his side, away from Eileen's bathroom where she would get changed. Eileen sighed a little worried that Rigby wouldn't keep his word and quickly went inside, got changed, brushed her teeth and got out to see that Rigby was in the exact same position. Eileen this time sighed happily that Rigby kept his word, despite being totally smashed. Eileen snuggled under the covers and slept facing the opposite of Rigby and began to try to fall asleep. Eileen usually fantasized about this situation actually. Rigby in her bed, totally awesome like he always was. Except now that he was drunk off his rocker, they couldn't really do anything that romantic because it probably doesn't matter to his drunken mind. As she thought her grim fantasy of this not meaning anything, two stringy arms slinked their way across her stomach and pulled her into a tight embrace. Eileen yelped a little and looked back slightly to see that Rigby was snuggling into her shoulder.
"No… No. Rig-Rigby… I don't…" Eileen started to tell Rigby to desist and stop from his spooning attempt, but really couldn't relay her order as Rigby began to softly breathe.
"It's alright. Your junk and my junk ain't touching… Well, at least I'm trying to not touch your trunk but besides that, everything fine. I'm a good boy. Not going to do… Anything." Rigby said tired and sleepy as he soon drifted off and began to snore a little, fully asleep. Eileen struggled jut a little to try and get out of Rigby's tight grasp, but decided to just go with it. She'll be able to get out in the morning anyway, and by that time he'll not even remember this. Eileen decided to let this moment last. She was in the same bed with Rigby. The same Rigby that had just admitted to her that she was undeniably hot, beautiful and sexy. Personally, it should be the greatest night in the world. Reality, this was only because he was drunk. Eileen grew tired of thinking about how really negative this situation and drifted off to sleep in Rigby's arms, preparing herself for tomorrows headaches.