Chapter nine
Davy sat on his bed staring at the phone in front of him. The phone taunted him, intimidated him. It dared him to make the call. At the same time it mocked him and insisted that he didn't have the guts to do it. Along with the invasive, mocking phone, Davy found himself surrounded by his demons. They also intimidated him. They tried to dissuade making the call by putting him down and making him feel useless. The demons made him feel as though there was no point in calling the therapist since he was never going to get better.
At least this was what they tried to accomplish. Davy fought hard with everything that he had. He fought and became enraged at the demons and the mocking phone. When they insisted that he wasn't going to make the call, that he didn't have it in him to make the call or to even get better, Davy insisted harder against them.
He reached out with his hand then hesitated. Glancing down he saw the number and he gulped. His eyes moved and landed upon his large, bulging stomach. He cringed at the sight but this was the final motivation he needed. For he realized that the sooner he called the therapist, the sooner he could start getting better. And this meant he could start losing weight. With this in mind, he took a deep breath and picked up the receiver. The moment that he dialed the number, all the mocking and intimidation from his demons had completely vanished.
Davy left the bedroom carrying the phone. He sat the phone on the nearest table and then leaned against the wall. Scratching his head he looked at the other guys across the room. They looked up at him and hesitated, unsure if they should approach him. Davy remedied this by walking over to where they were.
They all stood when Davy reached the couch. But it was Mike who stepped closer to him first.
"So, ah, what happened? How did it go?"
"Well um, I think it went okay. I mean I made an appointment to see 'im later this week."
The other three guys smiled and shared some supportive words. Even though it felt good to hear this from them, Davy still wasn't sure how comfortable he was about it. This was partly because he felt that he didn't deserve the kind words of encouragement and support because he felt like he didn't really accomplish anything yet.
"Um, thanks fellas. It was really hard to make that call. I'll admit that. Harder than I thought it would be, actually."
"Well it's really good that you made the call, Davy." Peter replied "You're one step closer to getting better."
Davy grinned as he looked at him. "Thank you." He looked at the other guys as well. "Thank all of you for being so supportive. I really need this." He glanced away as though to think about what he wanted to say. "I know I can get better. I will. I'm more than ready for this. There is no way I am going to let myself live with all this any longer."
"Good Davy." Mike said "We're glad to hear you talk like this. And we know you mean it."
Micky nodded "You're right too. You're going to get better. We have faith in you."
"Thanks fellas." He held his breath for a second before letting it out slowly. "It's going to be tough though. Getting better I mean. But I know it'll all be worth it."
The couple months that passed since his first therapy session brought much improvements to Davy. The therapy, along with a prescribed antidepressant have worked together to help Davy begin to feel more like his real self again. Though, he still carried all of the 300 pounds on his body, but he was far less bothered by it. This was because he knew that he was going to lose the weight as he got better. And he knew that was all going to take time. This was something he able to accept without problems.
Relief began filing him as well as his friends as he started feeling himself come back. Though it was a little bit at a time, he was happier now that he knew he was getting help. His confidence, even though it was still compromised at times when he didn't like what he saw in the mirror, started coming back little by little.
Most of the time his weight didn't bother him. He would even joke with the other guys about his weight, laughing at himself with self-deprecating humor. It felt good to know that he could laugh at himself and to laugh at all, because he no longer felt that he needed to take himself so seriously. But this didn't meant that he stopped having bad days especially when his weight was a concern to him. The real truth of it was, even though he wasn't always bothered by his weight, and had not yet done anything about it, he knew he would at some point start losing the weight.
One morning just after breakfast the guys decided it was a great time to go out to spend some time on the beach. As they got ready, though, they looked to Davy to be sure he was ready to head out. He smiled at them and declared that he felt he had the confidence to socialize again, and even guaranteed them that he was much more emotionally stable than he was the last time he went out. Satisfied with this, they all headed out to the beach with all hope that things would go much smoother.
For a while everything was as it normally would be, with everyone having fun. Once Davy started laughing, and quite heartily, the other guys smiled and laughed along with him. That was due to the fact that it had been such a long time since they heard him truly laugh, and they knew none of it was forced.
The fun didn't even miss a beat or fade at all when another one of their friends showed up for a little bit. However, there were a few moments where Davy's confidence seemed to falter a bit when he felt self-conscious about his weight. These moments didn't last, since he found ways to distract himself away from it.
The truth in all this was, Davy felt more like himself. He was actually happy for once. With his therapy he was learning that it was to be expected for him to experience good days as well as bad days as he worked though his depression. This most definitely was a good day, and one he wanted to hold on to for when he needed help getting through a bad day. As good as he felt then, he knew that this good feeling wasn't always going to be there. At least he was beginning to remember how to get past his down moments and feel better again.
At one point, tension flared up within the guys and attention went onto Davy out of caution. The mood almost immediately shifted and three of the guys were on instant guard for Davy's well-being. That shift was caused by the approach of a familiar face.
Davy had not noticed her right away. What he did notice was the matching looks of warning upon his friends faces. He turned his attention onto the girl walking towards him. It was the same girl who had devastated him before, sending him into his relapse. Davy tensed just for a second when he saw her. He frowned and swallowed. He knew there wasn't a chance she'd pass by without a word in his direction. Knowing this, he stood firm in his spot before turning to look at his friends.
"Don't worry. I can handle her this time."
"You don't have to do this, Davy." Peter said softly.
"I know you fellas are concerned. But I've got this. I'm going to face her."
That was all they needed to trust his words. They stepped back and watched as Davy walked ahead to move into the girl's pathway. He stood there in all confidence, willing himself to be strong as he faced her.
She stopped, slightly startled, as she saw him. A smirk curled her lips and she shook her head with a laugh.
"Look at you, Davy. Still fat I see." She snorted, laugh still present in her voice. "And you just get fatter every time I see you!"
He stood firm without a trace of falling. Slowly, a smirk came into view on his lips and they appeared about ready to burst with a quip.
"It's funny. You just get bitchier every time I see you." She huffed before hanging her jaw open. "Close your mouth now, love. It's true. I have gained more weight since you last saw me."
She stumbled through her reaction, struggling to hold her face, as well as to come up with a worthy reply. Before she could say anything, Davy held a hand up and gave her a look that showed he wasn't concerned at all with what she'd have to say to him.
"There's nothing you could say about my weight that I don't already know. Yeah, I'm fat. I'm a fuckin fatass. I might as well get in the water and join the other whales. But here's the thing. I can always lose this weight. But you, love, will always be a bitch."
It wasn't much of a blow as far as originality was concerned, but the fact that he said it made him feel good. He said it without any indication that she could even hurt him with what she might say to him. And realizing that he wasn't going to give into her insults, and run away like the emotional mess he was the last time they met, she huffed and stormed away without another word. This caused him to laugh. His laughter was part comical but it was mostly of pride in himself.
The other three guys laughed as well. They cheered as they stepped closer to Davy before patting him on the back. Davy beamed in his pride, feeling his natural confidence shine like it had never left him. This brought on much praise from his friends.
"I can't believe you did that." Micky said mid-laughter
"What? Stand up for myself? And why shouldn't I?"
"Just that a few months ago you had a completely different experience with that girl." Mike added
"True. But I was completely different then. I'm not saying I'm back to 100 percent. But I've made some nice strides in getting better. Therapy has helped a lot. And so has my medication."
"We're glad to see it has." Peter smiled
"Still got a ways to go before I am 100 percent." Davy added. He looked at himself and placed his hands on his stomach. "For one thing I do need to lose weight. That's going to take a while before I'm thin again." He looked up at his friends. "Could use some help with this, fellas."
"Well sure, Davy." Mike grinned, patting the back of Davy's shoulder. "Of course we'll help you."
"Be glad to." Micky added "You'll see, Davy. With our help that weight will fall right off."
"That's right, Davy. We'll help you, diet, exorcise. Hey, you and me, we could go running every day." Peter smiled
Davy's eyes widened and his jaw dropped in disbelief. "Run? You must be joking! Peter you do know I weigh 300 pounds, right? I can't bloody run or I'll cause earthquakes!"
At first the guys, Peter especially, were taken aback by Davy's reaction. Then, when his comment about earthquakes dawned on them as being a joke, they couldn't help laughing.
"Forget earthquakes, Davy. You'll be starting fires just by your jumbo thighs rubbing together." Micky joked, causing Davy to laugh brightly.
"No, seriously fellas. Thank you for this. I don't think I'll have difficulty losing weight. And, yes Peter, I'll take you up on your offer. Just… probably not every day at first."
Peter's dimples deepened with his smile. "Great. We should start right away."
"Can't wait."
Conversation continued as the four of them started walking back to the house. Their day of fun may have been ending but the good feeling was going to linger for a while, especially for Davy.
Everything that he had gone through, all the painful suffering and constant struggles through his depression. All the time he spent battling his demons while stuffing himself full of food. All he had endured, all the fear and worry that he was never going to get better. That and more had certainly been the worst that Davy had ever experienced. It was still a struggle sometimes, but he was able to come through the struggle much easier.
Now he was getting better. He knew that he could stand up to it all. He knew that he still had a ways to go even with his therapy, but at the same time he had already made a lot of progress. With help from his friends he knew he was going to make it through even easier. He couldn't tell when he'd get back on top of his game and officially beat his depression, but he did know he was strong and he was more than willing to see all his hard work through to the end.