"I'm guessing you didn't hear the news." Tig said as I brushed my teeth after lunch. I shook my head and continued scrubbing.
"Apparently, payback is going to have to wait until we get out. Clay doesn't want anyone in the hole and brown doesn't want the heat. Jax is pissed." Tig said, filling me in on what I'd missed while I was sleeping after breakfast. I spat the toothpaste out and shook my head as I rinsed the toothbrush.
"I would be to. Makes us look weak." I growled as I thought about the Russian pricks that thought they ran this place. Tig nodded and sat back down on his bunk. Wright was on post, so we were lucky to get recreation and chow, the thought of dayroom privileges was laughable.
"You were gone for a long time last night." He said after I started doing push-ups. I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes. The last thing I wanted was for the club to know about Katerina and I.
"Are you my fucking keeper now?" I growled. Tig and I were stuck in the cell, so I didn't have much room to get out of the conversation.
"Nah, but you aren't as quiet as you think you are. She let you kiss her yet?" He said with a laugh. I could tell he was throwing darts in the dark.
"Leave it alone, Tig." I said, hoping he'd give up. I refuse to lie to a brother, so my only hope was throwing him off or shutting him up.
"You son of a bitch. I knew I should have called dibs." He said laughing and kicking my leg. "Don't give me that look, killer. I won't say shit. I'm just pissed you get ass and I don't."
"Shut up." I said with a smirk as I shook my head. I opened my plastic container and threw a new pair of socks to Tig.
"Thanks. Noticed I was getting a little bit of a breeze in your jailbreak sock." He said with a laugh as he put them in his own container. Suddenly, there was a loud bang on the door, causing me to jump up quickly.
"Shakedown! Trager, Lowman, get out on the wall." Wright barked as he stormed into the cell. I rolled my eyes and shoved past him with Tig on my heels. We got ready for pat downs as I muttered shit in Spanish that Ma would have beat me for.
"Nothing taped to my balls, Wright. You can quit tickling them." Tig said with a smirk. Wright shoved him against the wall hard enough to shut him up and piss him off. He looked over at me and I could instantly tell he was nervous about patting me down.
Wright thought that he was hard, but we knew he begged not to get posted in George. The inmates hated him and never tried to hide it. He would act tough and throw his weight around, but I could tell he was just a bitch.
"Lowman, you move and you'll be on lockdown for a week." Wright said as he kicked the inside of my ankle so I'd spread my feet further apart. I rolled my eyes and thought about commenting on how fucking short he was. Instead, I just stared up at the ceiling as he ran his hands all over me, looking for shit I didn't have.
After he got done feeling me up, he grabbed my wrist and pulled it behind my back. I heard the sound of cuffs before feeling the cold metal on my skin.
"The fuck are you cuffing me for, Wright?" I growled as he slapped the other one on. He shoved my back against the wall and narrowed his eyes at me.
"I don't trust you not to stab me in the back." He said before marching into our cell like he owned the place. I rolled my eyes and considered slipping out of the cuffs, but decided it'd just make shit worse. Tig crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head as he looked in on Wright, throwing shit everywhere.
"I don't get how Brown and Recker can get shit done without being an ass and then you've got this prick. He's got eighty pounds on Recker and she don't fucking cuff people when she does shakedowns." Tig was obviously pissed off and I couldn't blame him, considering I was the one in cuffs.
"Sweet letters from Mommy, Lowman." Wright said with a laugh before he slammed the door closed. I went from rubbing my now free wrists to kicking the fuck out of the door, managing to hurt my toe and make a lot of noise.
Tig was putting my mat back up on the bunk when I gave up fighting the door. He was silent, which was rare for Tig. He worked on separating our shit while I fixed both of our bunks. Neither of us spoke until the cell looked better than it had before the shakedown.
"Recker needs to get her ass back to work." I growled as I counted the letters from Ma to make sure that prick hadn't stolen any.
"Agreed. That fuck does this shit one more time, I'm kicking his ass. Fuck the hole. This shit is ridiculous." Tig grumbled as he tossed me a washrag. I raised my brow at him until I looked down and noticed my knuckles were broken open and bleeding.
"Thanks." I said, wrapping it around my hand and climbing up in my bunk. I was sick of being awake and stuck in the cell. I knew the sooner I went to sleep and woke up, the sooner I'd get out.
I woke up to Tig moving around and getting dressed. I rolled over and groaned as my foot hit the end of my bunk. I was still pissed, but I realized kicking a metal door hadn't been the best move. Tig smiled and tossed me a t-shirt as he brushed his teeth.
"Scratches are fading but you should probably still wear that." He said with a laugh as he wiped his mouth off on his towel. I twisted to try and look at my shoulder, but ended up having to take his word for it.
The door popped open, just enough to show it wasn't locked anymore a few minutes after I had gotten dressed. Normally, Recker would at least look in and check on everybody if not say good morning. I looked down the row of cell doors, watching her open them just like ours. She wasn't walking the way she normally did.
"Tig, go see what's wrong with her." I said as I rolled a toothpick between my teeth. He rolled his eyes and sighed like a kid given a chore, but headed downstairs all the same. A few minutes later, he came back up with a scowl.
"What?" I growled, wondering how he'd managed to piss her off in less than five minutes.
"I don't know, Hap. Told her good morning and she just nodded and kept watching everybody walking down the stairs and shit. Don't think your lady is in a good mood. Don't know why, but bitches don't make sense." He said flatly as he grabbed his deck of cards and headed downstairs.
I followed Tig out and scanned the unit as I made my way to the dayroom. Everyone seemed calm and normal, like any other day Recker worked. I glanced over and saw her watching me just before she looked away quickly. I narrowed my eyes and ignored her as I got in line for chow behind Jax.
"Heard you're so scary you get cuffed for shakedowns." Jax said with a laugh as I yawned. I shrugged silently, deciding I didn't want to get pissed off about it again. He passed a Styrofoam tray back to me before taking one for himself and heading over to our table.
About an hour after we finished eating, the unit door flung open without any type of warning. Recker was upstairs doing a walkthrough and ran down the stairs a few seconds after Wright walked in. I spotted a group of teenagers behind him and elbowed Tig.
"The fuck is this?" I growled as Recker was obviously asking Wright the same thing. It didn't take super hearing to hear their conversation.
"What is this, Wright? You come down here with a tour without calling ahead? I could have had an inmate in the sally port or some shit popping off in here." She spat as he started waving the kids inside.
"I've got this, Officer Recker. You need to put everybody up besides Lowman." He said, snapping his fingers and gesturing towards the cells. Recker slammed her hands on her hips and shook her head.
"This is my unit, Wright. It doesn't matter how many stripes you've got on your shoulder now. You don't barge in here and tell me whom to put up. What's Lowman staying out for?" She demanded as her accent started bleeding through. Had my name not been mentioned, I might have enjoyed her voice.
"Demonstration. I'll put them up. You stay here and protect the kids." He snapped as he whipped his keys out of his pocket. She narrowed her eyes as he stormed up the stairs.
"From what, the inmates you led them to? When he gets his ass kicked, I expect you all to laugh and talk about it to every other guard you meet." Recker said in full, Australian accent by that point. I tensed more and more as the dayroom emptied.
Jax was reluctant to lock up, being the ever loyal vice president I'd grown to respect. He mouthed off loudly as he finally stormed off and joined Clay in their cell. Recker had opened the window flaps that morning, so I could feel everyone's eyes on me as Wright headed back towards the group.
"So, everyone remembers what I said about self defense being a critical part of being an officer, right? Who would want to go up against Lowman?" Wright asked, gesturing towards me with his thumb. I was getting pissed. Regardless of my charges or what I'd done in the past, there was no point in making me look like the fucking enemy.
"Wright, what ever you're planning, stop. I've already called the captain down here. This is bullshit." Recker said as she positioned herself between he and I, with her back towards me.
"Captain approved a demonstration, Recker. See, kids, that is one thing you never want to do. Never turn your back on an inmate." Wright said, making an example out of Recker. She shook her head and threw her hands up.
"Let him make an ass out of himself." I said just loudly enough for her to hear me. She turned to face me as I took my shirt off. I was waiting on laundry to come back and didn't want blood on my last clean shirt. She sighed and I could see a weird glow in her eyes before she stepped a few feet away without a word.
Wright made his way over towards me with his hand resting on his baton. I shook my head but stood my ground.
"Lowman, I'm going to cuff you. You can try to resist. This is a demonstration. You won't get any discipline for fighting back." Wright said with a cocky grin. I started wondering about what shit he was on to bring on the change from yesterday to this morning.
I decided the best way to piss him off was to do exactly the opposite of what he said. So, instead of resisting, I stood completely still and let him cuff me without a fight.
I heard a few of the kids sigh with annoyance as Wright started taking the cuffs off Happy. I would have agreed, but I knew it wasn't over yet. I had a feeling he was toying with Wright.
"Scared, Lowman?" Wright said with a laugh as he moved on to the second cuff. A dark smile grew on Happy's face. He threw his free elbow back and connected with Wright's ribs, hard. Wright was caught off guard and Happy moved quickly, putting his hand through the free cuff to make something like a brass knuckle.
Wright pulled out his baton and swung at Happy, sending a wave of anger through me. Happy had proven his point, but of course Wright had to push it further. A couple of the girls started getting squirmy and I cussed under my breath about being left with babysitting.
"Wright, batons aren't self defense, they're a weapon. I don't have a baton. If you're showing what it's like to be a CO, then lose the baton. Unless you're scared." I said, hoping my teasing would push him in to ditching the baton. Unfortunately, he was more scared than I thought.
"Fine, Recker. You think you're so tough, you demonstrate. Top of your class, weren't you?" Wright asked as he turned towards me. Happy's face darkened as he shook his head.
"Fuck that. I'm not doing this shit. Just lock me up, Recker." Happy was obviously growing tired of being a show horse. I couldn't blame him and knew he would never comply in the first place. Wright shook his head, but I ignored him.
"Here," I said, reaching out and taking the cuff off of his wrist. I felt a familiar tingle as my fingers brushed his skin. I tossed the cuffs back on my desk and headed upstairs as Happy followed me, pulling his shirt back on.
As soon as the door closed, I felt a big hand on the back of my shoulder. I spun around and was face to face with Karakova, one of the few inmates in the unit that despised me. I ducked quickly as his fist flew forward and connected with the wall beside Happy and Tig's door.
"Son of a bitch." I heard Happy yelling as he slammed into the door with his fists. He had Karakova's attention just long enough for me to sweep his legs out from under him and bring him down to the ground. I slammed the heel of my boot into the fat of his calf and wrapped my arm around his neck.
He threw me back against Happy's cell door, but I managed to keep a hold around his neck. His face was turning red and I could tell he was getting weak, but my back was killing me. A couple agonizing seconds later, Karakova was knocked out.
"I need medical to George 3." I breathed heavily over the radio as I shoved him off of me. The kids downstairs were clapping, along with a smug looking Wright. I narrowed my eyes and made my way downstairs slowly, with each step shooting pain down my back.
"Get out. The warden is getting notification about this. I didn't agree to be a punching bag for your show and tell. Being a CO isn't a fucking game. Get out. Now." I yelled before leaning against the desk.
Soon, after Wright left, medical showed up and carted a drowsy Karakova down to the infirmary for evaluation. During that time, I had the chance to think about what had happened. Wright, now a sergeant, had put me in danger deliberately. My back being slammed against that wall also made me look at the rest of my life in a whole new way.
"Keep it down, my head is killing me." I said as I reopened the cell doors. I broke protocol and left all of the doors open so I wouldn't have to bother with rounds for shit like bathroom needs.
"You okay?" Happy asked as he walked up to the desk. I took a deep breath and winced a little as I nodded. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head.
"Just hurts a little. I've got a lot on my mind." I said honestly as I looked up into his dark eyes. His expression softened ever so slightly as he nodded.
"Rest. We'll talk later." He said with a brief grin before heading back to his table and joining in on a card game. I brought up my personal email and stared at a blank page, addressed to my lawyer. I looked out over the dayroom and took another deep breath before I started typing up my request.
The whole unit did me a solid and stayed under control the whole day. Obviously, they appreciated being out and having what freedom I could allow them. The captain and I had a long talk about the Wright situation, and I was promised that he wouldn't be coming back in the unit, whether I was there or not.
I had never looked forward to count and lockdown as much as I had that night. I counted quickly and waited impatiently for the utility officer to verify my count before I could shut the unit down. As usual, I closed all of the flaps and checked all the doors before heading back to my desk. When I saw Happy pop his door open, I realized checking the locks was pretty pointless.
"Hey." Happy said as he pulled me to him gently and kissed my lips softly. I smiled against his mouth and let myself relax a little in his arms. After what felt like an hour, he let go and headed back to his normal seat on the desk.
"Something was up this morning. What's going on?" Happy asked, getting right to it. I sighed and nodded.
"Declan and I had a fight this morning before I came in to work. I blacked out for a second when my back hit the door. I realized that I've been kidding myself over the past year. I don't want to marry Declan. I'm sick of doing shit that doesn't make me happy." I said, feeling a weight lift off my chest a little, just to say it out loud.
"Damn. When you telling him?" Happy asked, looking around the desk impatiently. I laughed and tossed my vegetable bowl on the table and grabbed a water out of the fridge as well. He handed me a piece of celery before taking several carrots in his hand.
"Well, I just emailed my lawyer about getting an eviction notice drawn up. She'll have that done in the morning, so probably tomorrow night or the following morning." I explained, planning as I spoke. I had to be ready for any fight he put up about moving out. Happy's brow raised as he took a bite of carrot with a crunch.
"So I'm you're rebound?" He asked with a smirk before offering me more celery. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I took a bite.
"No, but you helped me realize I wasn't happy with my life. It never should have taken me this long." I admitted with a sigh. Happy was scratching at the back of his head, right over the snake tattoo.
"Katerina, I like you. I feel like a bitch talking feelings and shit so don't get used to it. I want to see you when I get out." Happy said as he looked me in the eye. I nodded nervously. I knew he still had almost a year inside, so I had a while to see where this thing went, if anywhere.
"I'm staying here because of you. As soon as you are out, I'm done with this shit. That crap with Wright today was over the line." I growled as Happy nodded in agreement.
"So, were you sore?" Happy said with a smirk. I knew he was changing the subject on purpose. I laughed and nodded.
"Very. Trying on a wedding dress was absolute hell. It was so hard to move and I work out all the time." I said, boosting his ego further. He took a piece of celery for a change and chewed it thoughtfully.
"You gonna be able to get your money back for the dress?" He asked, obviously uncomfortable. I shook my head and pursed my lips.
"It was custom dipped in blue. I'll just put it in storage. My little sister might want it one day." I said with a shrug as I wondered if Kiara would want it.
"You have a sister?" Happy asked, cocking his head to the side a little. I nodded and explained that she was twenty three and still lived in Sydney. I learned he was an only child, and we ended up talking about family until he had to go back up.
"Goodnight Katerina." He said, giving me a hug and a lingering kiss. I pushed him away and laughed as he hurried upstairs.
I woke up to my back hurting and my alarm going off. I flipped over, careful not to fall off of the couch, and shut the alarm off. Declan could be heard getting out of bed. I sat up and checked my phone, relieved to see an email from my lawyer with an attached eviction notice, just in case.
"Sweetheart, you don't have to sleep on the couch when you come in late. I don't mind if you wake me up." Declan said with a frown as I stood up, massaging my lower back. I didn't respond as I started planning out the conversation I was about to start. To buy some time, I started folding up my blanket. Once it was folded and stacked on top of my pillow, I sent the captain a quick text, letting him know I'd be late for shift.
"Declan, you know I haven't been happy, right?" I asked, sitting down to rest my now throbbing back. His frown deepened as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Kat, I know you're frustrated. The wedding is just a few months away and then we can relax." He said, forcing a reassuring smile. I sighed and shook my head.
"No, after the wedding you and your mother will be on me about having kids. It will never be just you and me like it was before, Declan. You brought your family in on this and it's killed it. I'm sorry, but it's the truth." I said as I felt a tear roll down my cheeks. As right as I knew I was, it still hurt to cause Declan pain. He folded his arms across his chest and shook his head.
"Katerina, you're exhausted. Why don't you take a couple days off and relax. Go visit Lauren and we can talk about this once you've cooled off." He said with a sigh. I shook my head and looked him in the eyes. I wiggled the ring off of my finger and sat it down on the coffee table.
"I don't need time to relax or whatever. I need you to leave, Declan. I'm ending this. I'd like for you and your stuff to be gone by the time I get home." I said, standing up and heading into the bedroom to get ready for work. I grabbed a fresh uniform and headed into the bathroom with a mix of a heavy heart and a lighter chest.
I stepped into the shower and let the scorching water hit my back soothingly. The water was so loud, I didn't hear Declan walk in. I opened my eyes and found him standing right in front of me, completely naked. I scowled and him and shook my head.
"What? This is what you wanted, isn't it Katerina? You're so desperate for sex, you want to throw almost two years away instead of wait a couple more months?" He growled as he took a step towards me. I shook my head and pressed my back to the tile wall under the shower head.
"That's not what this is about, Declan. This is about your mother running our relationship and you welcoming it. I can't be what the two of you want. I won't be." I said sternly. He shook his head and reached out, running a finger between my legs and up towards my sex. I started getting nervous and shook my head, pushing him away.
"Stop, Declan. Just go away." I begged as he shoved a hand onto my shoulder and parted me with a finger. In that moment, I wished I could just run away from it all. I wanted to be anywhere but there with him.
"Fine, you stupid whore. I don't even want you after all the men I'm sure you've fucked this past year." He spat at me, withdrawing his hands quickly and storming out of the shower. I took several, short, shallow breaths and slid down onto the tile floor as tears mixed in with the cooling water.