WELL FUCK, OKAY SO LET ME JUST SAY SOMETHING BEFORE YOU READ ON:

When I was writing this, my format changed from being all paragraphs to paragraph and text slightly separate, but I didn't want to throw you guys off with this one so I didn't change it. Sorry if that's the case, but whatever.

You heard a soft voice mumbling to you softly, you didn't bother to open your eyes because you knew it was Kankri.

It then occurs to you that it's Miss Harley asking for you to wake up in the middle of class. Sadly, her class is Chemistry and you were in the middle of a lab, which caused you to jump when you finally wake up and spill chemicals on your arm. Yeah, not a good day.

You didn't want to go to your English class, so you hid in the stall near the class, being caught quickly by a goody two shoes (as in Vriska snuck in and dragged you out like a bitch because she fucking hates you and doesn't give a shit about gender identity or privacy) and dragged into class. Mr. Strider wasn't paying any attention and all that was on the board was "do whatever". Gladly. You decided to get your earbuds, hide in the back of the class, and listen to the voicemails and read the texts you got throughout the night.

"Hey, it's Dave, I sort of need to talk to you."

"Karkat, pick up, please."

"Karkat, come on, I need to talk to you."

"This isn't funny."

"If this is the wrong number, I'm going to be pissed."

"I checked, it's your number exactly."

"Look, I need to talk to you about today."

"You're attempting suicide, aren't you?"

The last four, still being from Dave, were him drunk and moaning for you to just answer. You looked at the texts afterwards.

DAVE: krkt plz tlk 2 mee
DAVE: ys im durnkign
DAVE: i luv u plz txt me
DAVE: dude, its 3 am, plz
DAVE: karkat?

Luckily he wasn't the only one who texted you. Also luckily enough you and your friends like to text differently from one another to distinguish who is who.

ARADIA: karkat, are y0u alright?
ARADIA: damara g0t s0me texts fr0m kankri, please tell me y0ure alright!
ARADIA: text me as S00N as y0u read these!

SOLLUX: dude, you diid NOT try two kiill your2elf
SOLLUX: KK, 2ee me twomorrow when you can

VRISKA: Holy shit, Karkat. You tried to kill yourself? 8ad.

GAMZEE: KaRbRo, DuDe, hAvEnT sEeN YoU aNyWhErE In sChOoL. wHaT iS uP?

NEPETA: :33 *ac looks at you stern, pawndering what to do, wait, oops you don't like the fish puns i forgot*
NEPETA: :33 *ac then looks at you, carefully giving her cousin a tight hug before wiping his tears and giving him some leftover meat from her cubs meal*
NEPETA: :33 *ac feels as though her cousin needs some love*

FEFERI: CRABCATC)(! 38o you N-EARLY KRILL-ED YOURS)(-ELF!? next time I sea you, you're getting a WAV-E OF A )(UG! Okay? 38(

TEREZI: WOW K4RK4T, N34RLY K1LL1NG YOURS3LF? TH4TS 4 B1G LOW FOR YOU.
TEREZI: 3SP3C14LLY FOR YOU.

TAVROS: kARKAT, dO YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE? cAUSE i CAN ASK THE COUNSELORS FOR YOU,,, aGAIN

KANAYA: Karkat, I Have A Simple Question To Ask. Who Do I Need To Kill And If So Should I Use My Chainsaw Or Utter Humiliation?

You smiled slightly at your friends' texts. Only nine of them texted you, but Eridan hugged you... then he started wining about his love life, Equius looked at you before nodding slightly and walking away, and that was it for friends. Since Eridan drowned his phone a week ago and is still awaiting for a new one, and Equius often breaks his phones in rage. You got a new text, looking at it quickly.

DAVE: karkat, talk to me after class

You started to text back, stopping before deleting it and starting to reply to friends.

YOU: SORRY, ARADIA, I WAS SORT OF IN A FUNK LAST NIGHT TO GET YOUR MESSAGES. BUT IF YOU WANT YOU CAN GET EVERYONE TOGETHER TO SAY I'M ALRIGHT. APPARENTLY KANKRI CAN'T KEEP HIS FUCKING MOUTH SHUT LONG ENOUGH TO LET ME TALK TO YOU GUYS. SINCE NOBODY ELSE REALLY KNEW THAT I WAS LIKE THIS. EXCEPT FOR YOU AND SOLLUX, OF COURSE.

YOU: I'LL TRY. ACTUALLY, I'M GOING TO THROW A FUCKING WAD OF PAPER AT YOU SINCE YOU CAN'T SEE ME FROM BACK HERE.

You then proceeded to throw a piece of paper at the back of Sollux's head.

YOU: YES, VRISKA, I ATTEMPTED TO END MY LIFE. YES I KNOW THAT'S BAD. I WAS ACTUALLY EXPECTING YOU TO SAY IT WAS YOUR JOB, BUT I KNOW YOU STILL LIKE ME FROM FIFTH GRADE, SO I WON'T MIND IT.

YOU: NOT MUCH. ARE YOU STILL SMOKING WEED OR NOT?

YOU: LET ME HUMOR YOU. *CG TAKES YOUR LEFTOVER MEAT FROM YOUR CUBS YOU APPARENTLY HAVE AND GIVES YOU A HUG, ALTHOUGH IT'S FUCKING STUPID SINCE I'M SORT OF A VEGETARIAN AND DON'T LIKE MEAT. BUT THANK YOU EITHER WAY*

YOU: FEFERI, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING HUG ME. ACTUALLY, YOU MAY STILL EVEN IF I TELL YOU THIS. OH WELL, GO AHEAD THEN. WHY NOT?

YOU: YES, I KNOW, NOW CAN YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?

YOU: NO, I'M FINE, THANKS FOR ASKING, TAV.

YOU: NO. KANAYA. NO KILLING ANYONE. OKAY? I'M FINE NOW. I'M OKAY. YOU'RE OKAY. JUST DON'T HURT ANYONE AND STAY A LESBIAN. COOL? COOL.

You got a text back from Vriska, like anything obvious she wouldn't be paying attention to her class.

VRISKA: Like I actually still feel that way a8out you. I'm nearly dying in class rn 8c of that.
YOU: OH GO SUCK A DICK AND BE DONE WITH IT.
VRISKA: My place or yours, dummy?
YOU: YOURS, I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT YOUR SPIDERY CAVE LOOKS WHEN A BITCH IS IN IT.
VRISKA: Love you too, asshole. Don't kill yourself again. You need to promise me. All 8 promises.
YOU: YOU AND FUCKING 8'S. BUT WHATEVER, I MAKE ALL EIGHT PROMISES NOT TO KILL MYSELF AGAIN. EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TRY.

You heard the seat move next to you as Sollux looked at you.

"KK, hi." "Hey." He was silent and you had to look over at him to see if he was doing his shitty eyebrow wiggling. He quickly kissed you, smiling before leaving. You then got a text.

SOLLUX: 2o, ii know iit2 a way2 away, and mr 2triider ha2 a fiancee, 2o prom?

Fuck everything, just fuck it all, you're done with life.

LET'S JUST SAY FUCK EVERYTHING AND SKIP TO MONTHS LATER BEFORE I DIE OF COUGHING.