Disclaimer: I do not own Itazura na Kiss or Card Captor Sakura

Chapter 12: Sakura, and the Uncertain Future

Sakura glided down the path to school in her rollerblades, and smiled up at the warm sun. It was finally spring again, and the Cherry Blossoms were there to greet her. The beautiful blossoms floated down, and coated her in their familiar fragrance.

She loved spring. Spring was a time to begin anew, but it was also the time to start planning ahead for the future. For with every new beginning there has to be an end.

She could hardly believe that she was entering her second year of college. It seemed like only yesterday that she had made her way in a blizzard to plead her case just to get into Hitsubashi. Now with entering second year it was time for the students to start declaring their majors.

The girls had met over the weekend to discuss this, and Tomoyo had made a very proud announcement. "I've accepted an internship with Yohji Yamamoto," she announced blushing.

Chiharu and Sakura clapped hard for their friend. Ever since her meeting with Eriol; Tomoyo had been working tiredly to make her final collection her own. She had refused any advice of the teachers, and instead went with what her intuition told her. "He was very impressed with me. I'll be working with him all year to help design his fall and winter collections."

"That's wonderful Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura cheered.

"I've changed majors," Chiharu announced much to Tomoyo and Sakura's shock.

"Really?!"

"To what?!"

"Well ever since my psychology course I've become very interested in the subject, "Chiharu explained. "I still want to do music," she added quickly. "But I want to help kids with mental problems, and behaviors through music like the piano."

Sakura stared at her friend in wonder. She watched as Tomoyo and Chiharu laughed and discussed about their futures. When had they all become so grown up? It seemed like just yesterday that she had leant Tomoyo her eraser in grade school sealing their friendship. Or when Chiharu had defended her on the playground to bullies, and wasn't it just yesterday that they were going to cute stuffed animal shops? Now here they were starting their second year of college, and moving forward into adulthood.

"What do you want to do Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked wary noticing her friend's down turned eyes.

Sakura forced a bright smile. "I'm not sure yet, but I'm sure I'll figure it out!"

Chiharu patted her on the head. "It wouldn't be our Sakura-chan without her procrastinating."

"Hey!" Sakura laughed. But it was true. She really didn't know what she wanted to do. All she knew was that she enjoyed caring for people, but was that enough? She used to think being an adult was so far away, and now here it was looming on the horizon.

Looking up into the sky she wondered to herself: What do I want to do? She tried to picture herself in many different roles. First as a teacher helping children, and writing out problems on the board. However, that was interrupted with Syaoran appearing out of nowhere and saying: Baka! That's not the right math problem! And you call yourself a teacher. Shaking her head she moved onto the next career option, but with every thought Syaoran would always pop up.

Annoyed she tried not to make a face. However, she did have to admit to herself, that no matter what she would be doing in the future she hoped Syaoran was there with her.

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Fujitaka was pretty surprised when Leiyun had called him out for drinks after work. It really was nice to have his best friend back. He really regretted that they had lost contact for so long. Mostly because he knew that Yelan would have been a great motherly influence for Sakura; not that he didn't try very hard to be both a father and a mother to his daughter. He learned how to cook, sew, and do cute little hair styles for his daughter. It was rough losing his wife so young, but Fujitaka had made the best of the situation and had moved on.

He knew that Sakura never held it against him for not remarrying. Sure he had plenty of opportunities, and many women had said they were interested but none of them would ever be Nadeshiko. That's why he would be eternally grateful for Yelan and Leiyun.

"Yelan still seems to think that Xiao Lang and Sakura are going to get married," Leiyun chuckled drinking his sake.

Fujitaka nodded while pouring his friend another drink. He really tried to stay out of Sakura's business as much as he could. However, he too had started to notice that Syaoran acted different around her. He really seemed to warm up to her, and seemed to genuinely care for her. But was that just it? Did he just see her as a close friend whom he cared about or did he in fact love her?

"It would be nice though," Leiyun sighed sitting down his drink. "I'm afraid sometimes that I won't be around to ever see him get married," he whispered.

Fujitaka caught it, and looked at his friend in alarm. "What do you mean? Are you sick?"

Leiyun sighed again. "I met with the doctor today. It would seem that I don't have a good heart," patting his ample stomach he added almost jovially, "He thinks my weight is stressing out my heart."

Fujitaka didn't know what to say. Sure his friend was pretty portly, but he never let on that he was sick. He was lucky in the fact that he was pretty athletic, and took great joy in running around the campus in the morning before class.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm selfish for wanting Xiao Lang to take over the company. I always detested my father for laying out my whole future for me. Think of the Li name he would tell me. Now here I am doing it to my own son," he lamented. Fujitaka patted his friend's hand. "But with how my health is I need Xiao Lang to take over." Looking at his friend Leiyun asked, "Do you ever worry about Sakura?"

Fujitaka smiled. "Of course I do, but I trust her to make her own decisions."

Peeking across the restaurant at Julian, whom had come with Fujitaka, Leiyun whispered, "Do you ever think they would make the better couple? Julian and Sakura?"

Fujitaka sighed. "If you would have asked me 10 years ago I would have said yes, but now I'm not too sure. But it's all Sakura's decision in the end."

Julian pretended like he wasn't paying attention while he was heading back to the table, but his keen ears heard all. He would have to be heading back to the states soon, and he still had yet to tell Sakura how he felt. When he had came back, and he had fully expected her to have been waiting for him. It was silly of him to think that. He could see that now. Who was he to think a girl like Sakura should wait on him?

He remembered the words he told Syaoran in his moment of anger. Just tell people how you feel. Don't expect them to read between the lines. He was being a hypocrite. Sitting back down at the table he made a decision. He would finally tell Sakura how he felt. Even though he knew she wouldn't return his feelings he knew it was the right thing for him to be honest and tell her.

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Sakura was delighted when Julian met her at school for lunch. Lots of envious looks were shot their way as all the girls eyed the handsome young man.

"You look troubled Sakura," Julian said keen as ever.

She had to wonder how he could read her mind so well. Sighing she sat down her chopsticks. "Ne, Julian, how did you know that you wanted to become an archeologist?"

He smiled to himself. "Well your father was a big influence," he began and laughed at seeing Sakura's facial expression. "I really looked up to him when I was younger. He could tell I was interested in the subject so he would lend me books sometimes. Plus I was very lucky to had been placed in Harvard-"

"You went to Harvard?!" she really had no idea.

He laughed. "Yes. They do have the best archeology program in America. I was extremely lucky. I got to see many interesting things, and work with the greatest people in the field," getting serious he added, "I was actually asked to go to Egypt this past year but I turned it down."

"Why?!" Sakura asked shocked. Even she knew that any archeologist would kill for a chance to go on a dig in Egypt.

"I wanted to come back home. Here," he added seeing her confused face. "I wanted to learn under Fujitaka… and to see you again," he said looking her directly in the eyes.

For some reason she felt very nervous. She really had no reason to be nervous around Julian, but for some reason the way he was looking at her caused little butterflies to fly around her stomach. "For me?" she squeaked.

"Sakura there is something I need to tell you-"he began but was cut off with her laughing rather loudly and pushing him in the shoulder.

"Oh Julian stop being so serious," she laughed heart thumping. She didn't know why, but for some reason she was scared to hear what he had to say. Seeing his sad face she quickly said changing the subject. "I wish I knew what I wanted to do. Everyone seems to know exactly what they want, and where they are going. Sometimes I feel like I'm in an endless loop or something."

He sighed. He would tell her next time. "Take your time Sakura. You have all the time in the world. Everyone has their own pace of doing things."

She smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks Julian. You're a great friend," she said smiling.

He smiled back at her but his heart sank. Friend….

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That night Sakura tried to put on a bright face as the whole family gathered for dinner. She really started to feel like she was going to be left behind. Even Syaoran had come for dinner. As a treat Yelan made everyone's favorite dish.

"Oh Xiao Lang. I do wonder if you're eating well or not," she sighed staring at her only son. She wondered what had happened between Sakura and Syaoran the night of Feimei's emergency. She and Leiyun had arrived early the next morning to discover the house looked like nobody had slept there that night. Sakura's pancakes were still on the table, and their first aid kit still sat by the love seat. At first she had thought that Sakura decided to stay at the hospital, but she was then told by the nurse on duty that no one was able to stay the night. Looking between the two in question she couldn't help but to hope that they had spent the night together. She got stars in her eyes just thinking about it.

"I eat well enough," he grumbled.

"It's nice to have the whole family back together," Yelan sighed. "I do wish you would come back home Xiao Lang."

"I'm sorry that we are interrupting a family gathering," Fujitaka tried to apologize, but was cut off by Yelan.

"Nonsense! You are already family. Plus when Sakura and Syaoran finally get married it will be official," she said laughing.

Sakura sweat dropped, and looked over at Syaoran uncomfortably. Syaoran sighed heavily. There it was again his mother pushing her wishes on him. Glancing at Sakura he took notice of the fact she was rather quiet today. He didn't know why he bothered with her, and why it bothered him to see her sad and not like her happy self. Quickly standing he said, "Thank you for the food mother, but I think I will leave first-"

"Wait Xiao Lang. I need to talk to you," Leiyun said seriously standing. Everyone looked between the two. Leiyun was hardly ever serious, and Syaoran blinked at him a couple of times before nodding. "Come too Yelan. This involves you," he added before walking to his study.

Yelan stared at her husband confused, but followed him out of the room along with Syaoran. Sakura watched them go puzzled. What could Leiyun want to talk to Syaoran about?

Once situated in the study Syaoran stared at his father expectantly. Leiyun wasted no time, and got right to the point. "Xiao Lang, what are your plans for the future?" Syaoran stared back at him blankly. "You're in your second year of college now, and that's usually when you declare your major. It's time that you really start to focus on taking over the company." Syaoran stared down at his lap. "Think of the Li name son. I want to officially name you as my successor, and have you start your training process."

Yelan nodded along. "Well of course he will. This is what he's been training for his whole life."

In his mind's eye Syaoran imagined the future he had dreamed about being closed off. The future of him as a doctor, and for some reason Sakura was there smiling beside him. He shook his head. No it was time to face the facts. It was true he had been groomed to take over his father's company ever since he was little. The Li Clan was steeped in tradition, and tradition dictated that the eldest son was the successor.

Sakura fidgeted waiting for them to emerge. Feimei did as well sighing heavily. "They've sure been in there a long time."

"Sakura-san, why don't you bring them some tea?" Fujitaka offered.

"Hai," Sakura said standing.

"So what do you think Xiao Lang? Can I name you as my successor?" Leiyun asked hopefully.

Syaoran looked at his father, and was prepared to say that he would be his successor. But something kept holding him back. "I can't give you an answer right now," he found himself saying.

Sakura made her way to the door carrying the tray of tea. She was about to knock, and let herself in when she stopped at the sound of Yelan's voice. "What do you mean you can't give your father an answer right now? You've had plenty of time to think about it, and you've had plenty of time to think about your future with Sakura-chan as well."

Sakura stiffened at hearing her name. Leiyun faltered. "Honey let's not talk about Sakura-chan just now," he said, but Yelan interrupted.

"And why not?!" Yelan found herself yelling. She usually never raised her voice, but this subject was very important to her. It was time she talked some sense into her son. "Xiao Lang think about it. Sakura-chan is perfect for you! I did not just pick her randomly. I truly believe she is your perfect girl to be your wife!"

Syaoran grinded his teeth, and casted his eyes down. Sakura bit her lip standing by the door listening.

"It will be perfect!" Yelan continued unaware of her son's mood change. "You will take over the company, and then you will marry Sakura-chan!"

There it was. His whole future laid out for him. "But what's most important for us is how you feel," Leiyun quickly interjected. "What do you think Xiao Lang?"

Syaoran laughed to himself spitefully. "What do I think?" he asked looking up at them through cold amber eyes. "Since when has it ever mattered what I think?" he asked his voice raising. Sakura gasped behind the door. "Admit it. You make it out like you're giving me a choice but do I really? I've never had a choice. Ever since I was little my future was made up for me. I don't have a choice at all."

"Don't raise your voice at us young man-"Leiyun tried to say turning red.

"You are so selfish father!" Syaoran bit out. "You don't care about me and about what I want. You just want your happiness be to secured."

"Xiao Lang!" Yelan gasped.

"You too mother," he said rounding on her. "Forcing Sakura and I together all the time. You've never took into account how I feel."

"But you do love her-"Yelan tried to say, but stopped at the look Syaoran gave her.

"Is it not enough that I can't choose my job, but I also can't choose who I love?!"

Sakura went still by the door his words playing in her head. Her ears started to buzz, and her heart beat quickened. It was true. He didn't have feelings for her at all.

"That's why I can't stay here! I'm constantly being suffocated," he said storming towards the door Sakura was standing behind. Wrenching opening the door he took in Sakura's scared face staring at him. How much had she heard? Not daring to look at her in face he quickly dashed downstairs.

Sakura watched him go in complete shock. Quickly she got over it, and sat down the tea tray hurriedly. "Wait Syaoran-kun!" she shouted running after him. She ignored Feimei's questions of what happened, and instead ran after him into the cool spring night. She found him standing in the driveway breathing heavily. "Syaoran-kun?" she asked laying a hand on his shoulder.

He stiffened and then turned to her. "I'm going on a walk," was all he said.

"Do you want to be alone?" she whispered.

"No," he said not looking at her his voice almost breaking.

The two walked in silence for a long time. Seeing her favorite playground Sakura said, "I know of a good place we can go," she said smiling at him, and not waiting for an answer she took him by the hand and led him to the swing set. She pushed him down onto a seat, and then took the one next to him. Smiling up into the stars she said, "I like to come here when I'm upset. It's a good place to think."

How Sakura like he found himself thinking. Heaving a sigh he said, "I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"I'm sorry I eavesdropped," she said starting to swing back and forth. "If it matters I think your parents were just shocked," he looked over at her sadly. "You see you never talk, and you tend to keep things to yourself. I think they were just surprised, and they really weren't for sure what you wanted. So I think they were just nervous to hear about what you really felt." He stared at the ground. Coming to a stop she said cheerfully, "But Syaoran-kun your parents really do care about what you feel and what you want."

"Remember when you told me that a person goes to college to figure out what they want to do with their life?" She blinked at him. Looking at her asked, "Have you found yours yet? Your path?"

Sakura's heart sank. Looking down she said, "Honestly I haven't found mine yet."

He blinked at her. "Are you sure?"

She looked at him confused. Of course she was sure. Everyone else knew exactly what they wanted to do expect for her. She really hadn't even gave it a thought really at all. However, suddenly the night of Feimei's emergency came back to her. She remembered how much she liked being there for Feimei. Also she remembered the nice nurses who took care of her mother, and whom would bring her candy to cheer her up. She laughed to herself with tears stinging her eyes. "I want to be a nurse," she announced laughing.

Syaoran smiled at her. He knew she would figure it out. Laughing joyously she announced it louder. "I want to be a nurse!" Smiling up at him she said, "This is another reason why I really admire you Syaoran-kun," he looked at her perplexed. "You stood up for yourself. You taught me to do that as well. In the past I never would have come to my own conclusion. I probably would have just continued to follow you around," she said laughing. Biting her lip she added, "And you should also stand up for your heart too. I respect that. You deserve to love whomever you want. Not someone that is forced upon you," she said suddenly standing in front of him making him come to a halt on his swing. Bending down she took his hands, and stared up into his amber eyes. "Don't listen to your parents. Love you want to love. There is no reason to be with someone if you don't love them," casting her emerald eyes down she said, "You should find someone that you truly love and be happy."

Syaoran stared down at the girl before him. Her long golden hair hung loose around her shoulders, and her vibrant emerald eyes stared down. He found his heart beat speeding up, and his hands started to shake. "I," he started to say swallowing. She looked up at him with those eyes of hers, and his eyes landed on her lips. Later he wasn't for sure what he would have said if it wasn't for a siren in the distance knocking him out of his reverie. "I want to be a doctor," he found himself saying.

She blinked up at him surprised. "What?"

"I want to be a doctor," he said again. Just saying it out loud felt good. "I'm thinking about taking the exam to switch my majors. I'm not for sure if I'm even suited for it, "he said standing making Sakura stand with him. "But it's the first job that has ever interested me."

"Why didn't you tell your father?" she asked.

"Honestly I wasn't for sure about it until just now," he said with a small smile.

"What made you change your mind?" she asked again heart thumping.

Smiling down at her he said, "Talking with you." Her heart skipped a beat at seeing his elusive smile. "But don't tell my parents. I'll tell them in my own time."

She nodded, but then asked. "So why did you tell me?"

Instead of answering her out right he said, "I used to think my path in life took a detour, but instead I think there are many different ways to get to one destination," staring at her sincerely he added, "I think life gives you detours so you can find something important along the way. That you wouldn't have found otherwise something that can change your life for the better, and make ending up at your destination so much better."

She blinked up at him her heart thumping. Hoe? What was he saying? For some reason her heart was beating in over drive, and her palms sweated. He looked so handsome standing underneath the lights of the park staring down at her with his warm amber eyes.

He shook his head, and patted her head. "Good bye Sakura," he said making his way out of the park.

She watched him go waving slowly. So he found something important? What was it that he found?

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Back at the house Leiyun was in a rage. "How dare he raise his voice to us!" he shouted.

"Please Leiyun," Yelan said trying to calm her husband down.

"Doesn't he know how important this is? Especially now with how my health is-" he said turning redder by the moment.

"Your health? What?" Yelan asked staring at her husband shocked.

"I wanted to tell this to Xiao Lang too but you see I'm-"he started to say but suddenly stopped clutching his chest. He stared at Yelan for a moment before crashing to the floor.

Yelan screamed and shouted. "Leiyun!"

Fujitaka ran into the room, and took in Leiyun lying on the floor. Running up to his friend he said, "What's wrong?!"

Sobbing Yelan said, "He just- He just-"

Turning to Feimei whom was standing scared by the door Fujitaka ordered, "Call 911!"

She nodded and ran for the phone.

Walking home Sakura couldn't help but to imagine her future. She imagined herself as a nurse helping Syaoran and saving patient's lives together. This time he didn't interject and tell her she was stupid. Instead he would smile down at her and say, "Thank you Sakura."

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Author's Note:

I told you it was going to get crazy. So Leiyun is sick and Syaoran wants to be a doctor. Also for those of you whom have seen Itazura na Kiss I really cannot stand it when people would ask Kotoko, Oh Ha Ni, ext. what they wanted to do with their life, and all they could picture was being an assistant to everything Naoki or Baek Sung Jo wanted to be. They had no plan for their future expect to follow the guy around for the rest of their lives. Again, I'm not a diehard feminist by any means, but I hated thinking of making Sakura do that. So instead I had her come to the realization herself that she wanted to be a nurse. Of course Syaoran knew all along that's what she truly wanted to be. So I like how I came up with it better. She still gets to keep her integrity as a woman, but also still get's to help Syaoran.

Also, I really do feel like Syaoran in CCS would make a great doctor. That's the career I always imagined for him if he had the right to choose.

Also check out Yohji Yamamoto. Fantastic designer. You'll be able to tell why I thought him and Tomoyo would be copasetic haha

Let me know what you think! Reviews appreciated!

P.S. Sorry for uploading, and then re-uploading. It wasn't until I had this chapter posted that I noticed an error in time and place. So I had to fix it. Sorry!