A/N: Hello my favorite people! So here's yet another chapter for you. I have to warn you, this is a bit on the heavy side compared to previous chapters, with lots of thinking and not as much talking. I still hope you will enjoy it, as this is where we dig a little deeper into these two and their personalities, and I felt like that was needed.

Some of you may be wondering why I've chosen to write Regina this neurotic, with severe anxiety for loving and trusting other people, basically as a woman with a lot of emotional problems. The reason for this is simply that this is how I see her. This is how I think she would have ended up, in the real world where she wouldn't get magical powers and become the evilest evil of all evils. Instead I see her as a very fragile and insecure woman, with little trust in herself let alone anyone else. Cora is mainly to blame for this, as we all well know. And then the situation with Daniel. I just felt like I should clear this up. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

NOW - lets get on with it! Credit to my beta Caryn for basically saving my ass time and time again.

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. As always, reviews are highly appreciated. Your words mean more to me than I could ever say. Much love, xo

DESCLAIMER: Some lines between Emma and David are not by me, but taken directly from Once Upon A Time. I do not own anything, all credit goes to the show and the writers. I simply loved this moment between them and thought I'd use it.

Saturday, June 1st

Emma had been pacing around her room for hours, trying to gather her thoughts and her feelings. Ever since their "date" last night, things had kinda felt tense and unresolved. She'd slept horribly, tossing and turning all night, thinking about Regina and what a mess this had actually become.

Emma was falling for her. She was falling for her hard, and she'd probably been falling steadily ever since the day they met, and now it was too late to stop it. She was too far in and all she could hope for now was that Regina would catch her on her way down. What she feared was that she was falling too fast for Regina to follow, so the blonde was left unsure and flustered about what to do.

On one hand, she knew this wasn't going to be easy either way. They lived in two different countries so far away from each other it might as well have been two worlds entirely. But on the other hand, Emma had never gone for anything easy in her life. She'd always travelled down the hard path whether by her own choice or not. The only problem was Regina…

Not that the breathtaking, beautiful brunette was a problem, but Emma could sense that something was holding Regina back. Something was making it difficult for her to let herself fall headfirst. Emma could also sense that that was initially what the brunette wanted. She'd always been good with people, good at knowing them, and picking up what was going on behind the façade. She could always tell a lie from the truth. But with Regina, all she knew was that there was something more to the brown-eyed beauty. Her problems were hidden so deeply beneath her olive skin that it made it impossible for Emma to read her. Probably also because the blonde had never actually seen her or even talked to her.

This was a problem. Frankly, there were so many problems concerning this situation that Emma didn't know where to start. She needed someone to talk to, to confide in, because she was too overwhelmed to think clearly herself. She needed to say these things out loud, get them out of her head and out in the open for her to even think about how to solve them.

That's when she'd sat down and started thinking about who to pick from the handful of people she actually trusted. She quickly decided that Mary Margaret would not be the one. The older woman was simply too… innocent. Emma felt like she would jump right off the second Emma mentioned the fact that it was a girl who was causing all this trouble. They'd never sat down and had that talk. Emma rarely came out to her foster parents, because she usually didn't stay for more than a couple of weeks, and once she'd even been sent back solely because of her sexuality. She'd decided long ago that it wasn't worth the trouble, but maybe this time it would be different… She was almost certain neither Mary Margaret nor David would judge her, but she also had the feeling that David would somehow be the most accepting one of the two. Somehow Mary Margaret seemed too snow white to at least not be a bit startled.

Since Emma really didn't feel like dealing with Ruby's immature comments about how Emma just needed to get laid in this country, and since she was unsure if August even knew the word relationship, she was left with David. Somehow she felt quite comfortable with this thought. He was such a righteous and charming guy, and suddenly Emma felt like he'd be perfect to talk to and know exactly what to tell her to calm her down. She'd always felt like she had a better connection with him than with her foster mother, not that she liked Mary Margaret any less. Emma and David simply had more things in common.

In making her decision, she couldn't wait to get all these nagging feelings off her chest, so she sprinted into the living room where she found both her parents seated at the couch reading the paper. They both raised their heads at Emma's sudden burst through the door and two sets of quirked eyebrows met her as she stumbled over her own words.

"Dav – I mean Dad, I was um, wondering if I could like, talk to you about something that's kind of a bit important. Like now?"

She watched as they both snorted in an attempt to keep from laughing. David rose from his chair and held one of his strong hands to Emma's forehead.

"Are you sick, Em?"

Emma puffed out a breath and pursed her lips at him in annoyance.

"Just… can you come into my room?"

David looked a bit concerned now, and he nodded as he gestured for her to walk on by. Emma looked over her shoulder quickly to catch the brown eyes of her foster mother. She wasn't surprised to see that Mary Margaret looked rather hurt and also confused. Of course she wouldn't understand why Emma wouldn't choose her for help. Emma couldn't deny the twist her heart made as she smiled softly at the pixie haired woman, whose smile back was shattered by her confusion. Emma suddenly felt guilty for not just talking to both of them… She decided she would definitely tell Mary Margaret – at some point.

When both her and David were inside her room, Emma closed the door a little too fast and pressed her back against it as she exhaled unsteadily.

"Emma, what's up? Is something wrong?"

Emma took a few tentative steps forward and sat down on her bed, patting the spot beside her. David sat down.

"So, um…. There's this thing."

David smirked.

"Yeah? And what exactly is that thing?"

"I just haven't talked to anyone about this yet and I'm really nervous because I don't know what you're going to say, and I don't want you to change your view on me cause I'm still me and this is just a shitty situation and I don't know what to do because I really need to talk to someone and you just –"

"Emma," David put a hand on her shoulder, "Breathe. Now tell me. Nothing you have to say could make me love you any less."

Emma felt her throat tighten at his words. She laughed at herself, shaking her head. Here goes nothing.

"I've met this girl."

Regina had never been happier about it being a Saturday. Usually, she was happy she could spend her time however she pleased, even if that was mostly reading or being with Kathryn and Belle. Today though, Regina wasn't going to do either of those things. She'd actually canceled her plans with her friends because she wasn't mentally up for more than staring blankly out her window or pacing her floor until the carpet had holes. This whole Emma Swan thing was driving her mad. She couldn't recognize ever having felt like this. At least not the good and warm feeling that resonated within her. But the panic… that she knew.

It wasn't like she ever really understood why she was so scared of love. Or loving again. Wasn't it normal for teenage girls to get walked all over by teenage boys? She'd seen it multiple times, and never had the girl ended up an emotional wreck such as herself. So why was she different? That was a question she'd asked herself many times when the night was too dark and too lonely, but she'd never been lucky enough to find an answer.

Even now, she felt that choking tightness in her throat and chest that made her feel like she couldn't breathe. And she was so angry. She was so angry at herself, at this feeling. She didn't want to feel like this. She didn't want to be different. She simply wanted to be happy, to let herself feel, fall in love, be in love, and stay in love without having to deal with this… anxiety.

The truth was, even though she wanted to be free from this burden, even though she'd tried to fight it and bury it where it could never be found, it was more complicated than that. She just couldn't. It was controlling her, affecting her choices and her judgment. More than once, she'd run from an opportunity of happiness because she was too much of a coward to go for it. Being happy wasn't such a terrible fate, but it sure as hell wasn't an easy one either. Not for her. Explaining how she felt wasn't easy even when she was just trying to understand it herself, and she doubted that anyone else ever would. Or that anyone would ever try…

She knew she had some form of anxiety, and if she ever went to a psychologist, he'd probably diagnose her as soon as she stepped in the door, but that would be over her dead body. Sure, she had demons to fight, but she was sure as hell going to do it on her own. Maybe she was weaker than some people, but she was not weak. She would do this her way.

By the looks of it, that had to be now, because on the other side of the planet was a beautiful blonde making her way under Regina's skin and into her otherwise exceptionally guarded heart. Emma was climbing over walls Regina had built to make sure no one would ever dare climb them, and she was powerless to stop it. She had even let it happen. For some unexplainable reason, Regina had allowed Emma to flirt with her, and she had allowed herself to flirt back. She had let Emma into her life without second-guessing it like she usually did. She was unable to explain why, but she trusted Emma. Something about her just felt… right.

It was the revelation of those feelings that had her flipping out this Saturday. She hadn't eaten anything, and she was still in her PJ's even though it was almost 2pm. She'd rolled right out of bed and onto the floor, and she hadn't left her room once. She hadn't slept much, if any at all, as so many feelings had kept her awake. She was surprised no one had been up to check on her yet, but she was not going to complain. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to escape reality just for a moment, so she could crawl into her own head and sort out her thoughts and feelings like a librarian sorted out books. She imagined them neatly placed on shelves, all marked and easy to pick and understand, but she knew very well that nothing close to that was ever going to happen.

Just as she made her first move in what seemed like hours, rising from the floor to shake her numb legs, her door flew open and banged against the wall, startling her.

"What the hell?" Regina exclaimed as she turned to see who was intruding on her like this. The face she was met with didn't surprise her.

"My, my, little sis. What if I had been mother? What would she say about your messy language?"

"Get out, Zelena. I'm not in the mood."

"Oh, what even has gotten into you? You look terrible."

Regina took one step forward, clenching her fists, her glare cold as ice.

"I said – I'm not in the mood."

"For someone who's not in the mood, you sure as hell are moody."

Regina was about to march straight into Zelena's personal space and give her a piece of mind when her phone went off with the first message she'd received all day. She stopped mid step and stood frozen on the spot for a moment. She'd been worried out of her mind as to why Emma hadn't made a single sound all day, and now the blonde had chosen the worst of all moments to announce that she was still alive. Regina's eyes flickered to her phone, and even though she tried to stop it, the hint of glee that spread across her face was reluctant to stay hidden.

Watching Regina's reaction, Zelena made a quick conclusion and smirked.

"Now I see. This is about a boy." The grin on Zelena's face made Regina shiver. Even if she was in no way scared of her big sister, something about her presence was simply unsettling.

"Tell me, sis – are you upset with him for forgetting your birthday? Or did he fondle your gentle virgin breasts without permission? Oh that's right. You're not a virgin. What was his name again? Daniel? The guy who cheated on you?"

Regina's blood was boiling and her hands were trembling with anger, but she refused to be played by her sister's tricks. She simply swallowed hard and forced a smile so stiff it hurt her cheeks.

"Get out of my room. Please."

"What's his name? Is it someone from school? Or maybe a teacher?" Zelena wiggled her eyebrows mockingly as she asked her questions while her voice was dripping with sarcasm. Regina's smile faded, but she kept her anger under her mask even still.

"It's not what you think."

"Well then, tell me dear sister, cause I'm dying to know."

Regina just about had enough, and she pointed a stiff finger towards her door as she snarled at her redheaded sister.

"Get. Out."

"Alright, if you must be such a child about it," Zelena said and held her hands up in fake defeat as she ducked out, without closing the door.

As Regina walked to close it herself, she heard Zelena's mocking voice down the hall.

"But be aware little sis – I'll find out."

Regina slammed the door shut and immediately kicked at her chair, grabbed a pillow only to fling it across the room, making several of her books fall over as it crashed against the bookshelf with more force than she thought she had in her. As she calmed down, she sat on the bed and speculated if she should take Zelena's "threat" seriously. Right now though, she had more important things to focus on. A message from one Emma Swan was waiting and she was both scared and excited to hear from her again.

When she read over the question Emma had sent her, Regina's phone dropped out of her hands.

"So you really think I should just ask her?"

Emma had asked David that same question three times now, and with her head in her hands she exhaled with a deep sigh. She was so flustered over this whole situation, she could barely recognize herself anymore. This was not very Emma Swan. David chuckled and shook his head.

"Emma – you like her, right?"

Emma sighed again.

"Yeah…"

"You like her a lot, right?"

Emma furrowed her brows and pursed her lips.

"Don't make it awkward, dad."

David laughed.

"You asked for my help, now don't complain about it."

"I know, I know, it's just… I always screw up the good things in my life you know? But this time I really, really don't want to screw up. She's special. I can just feel that she is, but with my record, I'm bound to fuck it up before it's even started. And I'm just scared that I'll scare her away if I'm too forward or if things are going too fast. That's why I want to be sure before I ask her…"

David took Emma's sweaty hands in his and squeezed.

"Emma, you can't think like that. Don't expect the worst. If you think like that, you'll miss out. There's more to life than just looking for the next fight. You gotta look for the moments."

Emma quirked an eyebrow at her dad and smirked.

"Moments?"

"Yes," David said and gave her a look telling her to stop being so reluctant, "Life is made up of moments. Good ones, bad ones, but they're all worth living."

Emma sighed.

"Well I seem to be a magnet for the bad ones."

"All the more reason to look for the good moments in between the bad ones."

"And you think asking Regina would be a good one?"

"I don't know."

Emma rolled her eyes.

"Reassuring."

"Emma, it's not that big of a deal. You like this girl. If you want to find out if she's worth it, you have to take the next step."

"I'm not sure I'm ready."

"What's the harm in finding out?"

Emma looked into David's calm eyes. His smile was so warm she could almost feel it radiate into her.

"It's just… I think she's really fragile. I want to mend her, not break her."

"Emma, you're not asking her to marry you. She'll be fine."

"You really think so?"

"If she feels the same way about you that you do about her, I'm sure she'll be running on the walls when you ask her."

"Hey!"

"I'm just kidding, Em. But I've never seen you like this before. It's fascinating."

David's attempt to hide his smirk failed miserably and Emma gave him a punch to the shoulder before laughing awkwardly.

"Shut up."

"Language, young lady."

They both laughed for a few moments before a comfortable silence fell over them. Emma looked down at the floor.

"Thank you… for being so understanding. Also about the whole… me being gay and all."

"Emma," David grabbed Emma's chin gently and lifted her head to look into his eyes, "Like I said - Nothing could make me love you any less."

Emma felt that emotional lump in her throat that she both hated and appreciated. She blinked away the tears threatening to spill on her cheeks.

"I love you too."

She watched as David inhaled sharply.

"And that is the only thing that matters to me. That and the fact that you trusted me enough to tell me. Thank you."

Emma smiled softly at David, who returned her smile with a big hug before he rose from the bed. As he was about to exit her room, Emma spoke up again.

"So you really think I should just ask her?"

"Ask me that one more time and you're grounded."

Regina was wheezing into a pillow, a corner of it stuck between her teeth as she tried to calm down her nerves. Breathe. Just breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

She'd been sitting like this for the past ten minutes, her phone still on the floor. She still couldn't believe what she'd read. Or why she was overreacting like this. Was it really that big of a deal? No, it wasn't. It was only to be expected. They couldn't just keep going like this, texting and going on imaginary dates, if they both wanted to explore this opportunity further. This was only the natural next step.

But so many things could go wrong. So many things could make Emma realize what a bore Regina really was, or what an emotional mess she was, or how she was simply not interested in the brunette anyway. Regina was terrified of Emma finding a reason to turn her back on her, because she didn't want the blonde to leave. She wanted her to stay right here, in her life. Which made this all the more terrifying.

Another ten minutes of wheezing passed before Regina finally crawled to the end of her bed and picked up her phone. She stared at the message without blinking and contemplated what to answer. It was all too scary and too much. What if she said something wrong? What if she wore the wrong thing? What if she had something stuck between her teeth? So many what ifs were going through Regina's mind in this moment and it made her dizzy.

She knew that turning off her thoughts would serve her best. Just turn off the worries thrown at her by her screaming thoughts. She needed to listen to her heart, but all of that was easier said than done. So she continued to stare at her phone until her eyes burned.

She typed.

Deleted.

Typed.

Deleted.

She knew what she wanted to answer. She just had to type it and send it. Just type and send. Type. Send.

"Hi Regina. So I've been meaning to ask you this, and I really hope I won't freak you out or anything but… Would you maybe like to Skype with me one day?"

Typed.

Sent.

A/N: On another note - thank you so much to anyone who read my one shot "Holding On & Letting Go". The response I got blew me away and it really means the world to me. Thank you.