Dare You to Live

By ElveNDestiNy

A/N: I got tired of dividing up this story by simply assigning a "Part X" to the sections, so I went back and added chapter titles. The "Re-" thing was a coincidence, but I thought it was appropriate given the twins' and Rika's names. Also, I don't know if anyone would care, but one song in particular inspired me. It's "You Look So Fine" by the band Garbage. I saw it in a DarkxRisa AMV by neko-chan, who makes gorgeous D.N. Angel tributes.

Thank you so much to all the reviewers, especially Katherine Daystar. Sometimes the hard part isn't in the writing, but in finding the people who might appreciate reading it – or who might want to read it at all.

- Revive -

By the time they finally thought about returning to the house, the sky was lightening into lovely watercolored shades of red and orange. It was cold to the point that Riku couldn't suppress a few shivers, but the overall effect was cutting and sharp rather than numbing. Everything was intense, as if all her senses had flared to life so that her perception of the world almost painful in all its clarity.

Without much ado, Dark had taken her and lifted them into the sky, Riku barely stopping herself from instinctively struggling at his sudden absolute control over her body. It was like him not to ask, just to add that extra element of thrill from the initial shock and resistance, the fear of falling. If nothing else, Dark had proven that he could be a perfect gentleman—when he wanted to be.

Although they had walked to the sea in the first place, the thought of walking back simply never came up. It was harder to breathe in the thin air but it was still the last thing on her mind. Her back was warm against Dark's chest, his arms solid bands across her chest, just below her breasts. She felt his impossible strength in the way that his muscles tensed on every stroke of his wings that propelled them forward. Like the best athletes, he made it all look natural, graceful, effortless, when it was the exact opposite.

It wasn't the most comfortable thing and it was slightly frightening. She could not remember ever being completely conscious while with him in this way, but as Riku relaxed, trusting him to carry her, the discomfort gradually became a minor thing in her awareness. It was only a slight reminder from her body that she was flightless without him. Sometime during this change she realized that the flight was the best gift he could have given her, because it was something only he could give.

"You're beautiful," she said into the rushing air, thinking that the wind would take it away but wanting to say it aloud, as proof to herself. Her heart was so full that she felt as if it could burst. There was something in her helplessness that magnified the fire that seemed to rush through her body, making it airy, a complement to her sudden and fierce joy. He held her even tighter, as if to reassure himself that she wouldn't separate from him.

"That's a bad description for a man," Dark told her with a laugh that she could feel, although the little thrill she felt was overtaken by their landing. In one moment they were still in the air, and in the next she felt them become subject to the demands of gravity again, the solid ground beneath her shaky legs a sudden disappointment after the freedom of the air. Somehow the feeling of relief, welcome as it was, took secondary place.

Riku waited for her heart to resume a more sedate beat and then realized that he hadn't let go yet and that she didn't want him to. Could so much change in a matter of hours? Or was it that it had always been like this, and she was only now beginning to accept these truths about herself and about him?

"Beautiful," she said again stubbornly, wishing she could see his expression but not wanting to give up the press of his body against hers.

"Why?" he asked, more curious than flattered.

"It's not about the way you look," she said, surprising even herself because she had meant to make a flippant reply with the opposite sentiment. Embarrassed, she tugged a little and he released her.

"Answer enough," he said while watching her unlock the front door, and there was a kind of satisfaction in his voice now. "But one day I'd like to hear the rest of it too."

Riku smiled slightly, challenging Dark to try to get anything more out of her, but they were both distracted by a white envelope that had been wedged through the doors and which now fell to the ground as Riku pushed open the door. Dark snatched it up, eyes scanning the outside, but it was blank.

"What is that?" Riku asked, but before she could object, Dark had already opened it. In any case, the envelope wasn't actually sealed. Riku snatched the paper from Dark, annoyed that he was going through her mail.

"Give it back," said Dark, holding out his hand. "Riku, it's probably dangerous—"

She unfolded the paper inside, but it was blank as well. Puzzled, Riku was about to turn it over when Dark took it from her again.

"It's not dangerous, there isn't even anything written on it," she told him, still piqued. "It's just a blank envelope with a blank piece of paper."

"Even so, it might be a message," Dark muttered, but he didn't discover any writing either, although he examined the paper closely.

Riku watched, not as concerned. "It's probably just a mistake."

"Then you don't mind if I keep it?" asked Dark.

Riku lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug, although she still couldn't believe how fast he'd acted to get the envelope. "You shouldn't have taken it in the first place," she said.

"I didn't want you to find something bad."

"What, like death threats?" But even though Riku intended to make it sound ridiculous, she couldn't help but remember that she'd glimpsed someone or something outside her house that day, which was why Dark had been here in the first place.

Dark followed up on her thought by giving her a chiding look. "You should take this seriously. I'm guarding you."

The blatant reminder that he was accompanying her out of some misguided sense of obligation didn't soothe Riku's feelings. She glared at the white envelope in his hand. "And who's going to guard me from you?"

Dark shrugged. "I guess you'll just have to take your chances," he said. "The lesser of two evils, right?"

"Pervert," Riku muttered underneath her breath, but she had spent the entire night talking to him, close to him, and the memory of their earliest past only made her think of how much things had changed between them.

They made their way into the quiet house, Riku finally looking at him. Amusement shaped his lips into a wry smile, distracting her until she realized that he was following her into her bedroom.

He still smelled like the wind, as if the fresh scent of nothingness could cling to his feathers and wings, and suddenly Riku knew what she wanted. The clarity she had felt, the aliveness, came back, soothing away her nervousness and doubts. This was the natural culmination of all these days, all these years, even, wasn't it? This, now, was her chance to prove that she could belong in this lovely and careless world like everyone else did. She wanted to partake of the happiness, the vibrancy.

Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, someone had quoted at her when she was only a child, and she had grown up with the phrase ringing in her head. That was why she had never wanted to be beautiful the way Risa had, not until she had fallen for Daisuke. But beauty was a thing hard to define.

She left the lights off in her room; it was bright outside and the curtains were half open, letting in enough daylight to illuminate everything. Dark followed her like a shadow until Riku abruptly turned to face him, feeling the heaviness of anticipation at the bottom of her stomach.

"Are you tired?"

The question took him by surprise and he hesitated. "No," he replied, and sighed involuntarily as she reached out to touch the glistening black feathers of his wings. She remembered that he had always been awake, watching over her, except for that time when he had left. How could he not be exhausted?

"You need to sleep," Dark told her, taking her by the arm and leading her to the bed. Riku obediently sat but looked closely at his expression. It was carefully neutral, and for some reason, made her lose her courage.

"I will," she said, wanting to tell him to do the same.

"I'll be waiting outside when you wake," he said, looking toward the French windows, but she shook her head negatively, not trusting herself to speak quite yet. He seemed to sense that she was holding something back. "Riku?"

"If you can…"

"What is it?" His voice was gentle and patient, another side of Dark that wasn't often seen. She wondered how much more there was to discover about him.

"If you can…" – stay; but for some reason, it was something else that came out – "hold me…" She couldn't say anything more and she should have been overcome with shame by the sheer neediness of that statement, but Riku was caught like a deer in headlights, unable to even look away from him.

The shock of it shivered through her, until she wished that she could disappear. How could she plead with him like that? How could she ask, no, demand his attention, like some spoiled child?

Dark studied her with a gaze that was a little puzzled, but so warm that she felt as if it were slowly burning her. She licked her lips, trying to force some rational explanation out of her dry throat.

"You should rest too," she stammered out. "I just thought that, if you were here with me, maybe I won't dream."

Every word Riku added only increased her discomfort, until she felt as if all her thoughts were transparent to him, all the things she didn't want to admit. But she didn't take any of it back.

"Is it so bad to ask something of me, Riku?" He made a motion as if to reach out to her, but midway through changed his mind and let his hand fall back to his side. "Is it so hard to trust me?"

"I have no right to ask anything of you," she said in a low voice.

"It's not like that," Dark retorted, and she would have gotten off the bed to restlessly pace around, but he was standing too close to her. He put his hands on her shoulders and locked her gaze with his own. "You're not alone, Riku. You don't have to take everything onto yourself, by yourself."

He saw that she didn't believe it and understood the answer she kept to herself: she had to be strong, independent, because the people she needed left her. Seeing it, he kissed her on her forehead. "We're not as different as you think, Riku."

She looked up at him, finding it a relief to redirect the conversation to a subject other than herself. "What do you mean?"

He shook his head. "I'll tell you sometime later."

"Dark," she protested, but whatever else she might have said was lost to a yawn. As Riku blinked away tears of fatigue, she cursed her own stupidity for putting Dark in such an awkward position, if he was intending to leave, by making a big deal out of it. Dark seemed to realize the same thing, and a heavy silence lingered between them for a moment, until Riku failed to suppress another yawn.

"Risa's room…" her heart still tripped when she said the name, but it was all right when it was with Dark. "It had a separate bathroom, if you want to shower."

Dark nodded at her suggestion, taking up the peace offering, heading toward the door between the twins' bedroom. Left alone in the bedroom, Riku flopped back onto the bed for a moment, sighing with relief. She still couldn't believe that she had something like that to Dark, and it was beginning to seem more and more like a fragment from a bad dream. Soothed by the thought that Dark certainly knew that she was tired, and so probably wouldn't hold it against her, Riku forced herself to get up and grab clothes.

She headed toward her own bathroom, estimating the time it would take for her to shower, change, and slip quietly into bed at last. There was no way she would be out before Dark, so he definitely could leave if he wanted to. Perfect.

None of it covered the fact that, despite what it costing her pride, she still very much wanted for him to stay.

She was starting to think of all the things that she'd forgotten in the wake of her twin's death. It had been a long time since she'd even questioned what she was doing with her life. Her academic studies hadn't suffered despite everything, but Riku had given up all her thoughts of the future once she had been dragged down into the problems of the present.

What did it mean for Dark to be bringing out these things in her, pushing her toward the future with everything that he did? She wondered what Dark thought of the future, now that he had one and was no longer quite the same phantom thief he had been. Was that why he said that they weren't different, because he, too, was unsure?

Riku scoffed at the notion and reluctantly opened the bathroom door, having leant on it for the past ten or so minutes. She was well aware that her own cowardice had led her to stubbornly remain in her bath until she'd wrinkled like a prune, but every time she thought of how she'd brazenly asked Dark to stay with her, to hold her, she'd stayed a few minutes more, cheeks flaming even though there was no one to see.

She quietly made her way back to her bed without turning on the lights, moving slowly by memory and feel. Even though it was daylight outside, the curtains had been drawn, as they hadn't been before, so Dark was probably gone. Her avoidance strategy had paid off after all, although Riku knew it was only a temporary fix to a problem that was growing with every hug and kiss they exchanged. She reached down blindly to draw back the covers on her bed, but before her fingers touched the cloth, a slight sound made her snatch back her hand.

She stilled, listening intently, and caught the soft sound of breathing. Riku bit back a gasp, unable to believe that he had acquisitioned her bed while she had been moping in the bathroom.

Well, she had asked him to, but still…

This is Dark, what exactly did you expect? she reminded herself, while another part of her wondered whether she was really losing her mind.

Now that she stared hard at the bed, eyes adjusting to the dim light that filtered through the heavy curtains, she could just make out the slight outline of a peacefully sleeping form right in the middle of it. She couldn't be sure how much was really picked out by her eyes and how much was made from her imagination.

Apparently this was Dark's plan on how they would avoid any awkward talking. Riku stood over the bed, debating her options, although her tired mind could only come up with two: get in, having gotten what she'd asked for, or sleep in Risa's room, demonstrating that she was unable to even handle a little intensive cuddling.

Which she had asked for.

Riku's mind kept circling back to that point, along with the thought that, if she were perfectly honest, she wanted him. She had wanted him even when Risa had wanted him. She had wanted him for so long, she didn't know what it was like not to want him close to her, if only for her to push him away. But after all the years, this was as close as she could probably get, and it would be such a waste of an opportunity… Realizing that her thoughts had taken her in a decidedly less than innocent direction, Riku lifted the covers and carefully slid in before she could change her mind.

Dark was sprawled out, long limbs claiming the majority of the bed. Riku balanced precariously on the edge, the sheets there cool against her body, trying not to move so that she wouldn't roll toward the middle, which was dipping slightly due to Dark's weight.

She had forgotten the wings. Riku froze in horror at the realization and hastily slid back off the edge, landing on her knees as she peered at the bed. Dark had told her that he could control whether they'd be present, but in his sleeping state, with no one to see them, he probably wasn't bothering to do whatever he did to keep them hidden. She'd probably been on the verge of crushing them with all her furtive movements, which on top of everything else would definitely wake him up.

To her relief, the most she found was a few stray black feathers, glossy and soft. They weren't the long flight feathers, but more like down. Riku wondered if he'd made his wings disappear in anticipation of her body being next to his in the small bed. Everything was happening too fast, her relationship with Dark suddenly changing so much, and yet all of it had been there all along, simmering under the surface as the years passed. Part of her loved every moment of it, loved that she felt so much with him.

After being so close to the warmth that Dark had radiated, Riku was miserably cold kneeling next to the bed. She held her breath as she climbed back in and then simply gave up, too tired to worry about the consequences of her actions. She turned on her side, facing away from him, and Dark's arm still touched her back, but it couldn't be helped. Riku felt her heart pounding inside her chest and called herself foolish; it wasn't as if they hadn't been more intimately pressed together before. Just hours ago, he'd been holding her in his arms.

This wasn't the same. The thin black sleeveless shirt he was wearing and the thin cotton of her shirt were flimsy barriers, unlike the jackets they had been wearing out by the sea. They were close enough together here to hear each other's breathing, while the ocean's roar had swallowed up all those small, personal sounds. That was power and freedom, this was safety and reassurance.

For the first time, Riku wondered what the future would hold for them, her heart aching at the thought. She almost thought she could feel his heartbeat, but it was only her own. She fought off her drowsiness, wanting to cherish the moment for as long as she could, but the comfort of all of it made it useless to resist.

Just as Riku was falling asleep, Dark rolled onto his side as well. One arm came up and over Riku, encircling her just beneath her breasts, while his body curled around hers. Vague warmth suddenly became a much more direct heat as his front molded to her back. Riku temporarily floated back to a semi-conscious state, wondering if Dark was doing this all on purpose as some kind of mind game…

But he was sleeping, and Riku, remembering how easily he was woken and how alert he forced himself to be, thought that he did not sleep deeply often, either. She remembered what he had said about the two of them not being so different. Together they'd found a kind of peace, one that wouldn't be interrupted by suspected dangers or nightmares.

You're not alone either, Dark, she thought. You're here with me.

A/N: If only a small fraction of the people who have this story on favorites and alerts would let me know what you like, don't like, etc., you would have a really happy author! So, please review!