AN: *sniffs sniffs* You guy! *hugs all of you* Arigatou for all the reviews I'm, so happy I became speechless…
Umm… since all of you had been bugging me to make a longer one… DOZO! This is a really long one (for me) and since I rushed this one, Typo errors as well as grammatical errors are all over the fic. Sorry I'm too busy (lazy) to edit those errors. Just pretend you didn't saw them ok? Tehee~
Jaa~ Dozo!
CHAPTER 4: BABYSITTING IS THE WORST JOB A SADIST, CHINA GIRL NOT TO MENTION A GORILLA AND A MAYORA COULD HAVE!
At the Shinsengumi Headquarters...
Sougo went in fist carrying the sleeping Akari-chan followed by Kagura who is also carrying a sleeping brat. They had arrived at the cafeteria, when Yamazaki had greeted them.
"Taichou, you're back already? Anyways, who's that child? Aren't the one you have is a boy?" Yamazaki asked.
"This is not mine, it's hers." Sougo pointed at Kagura.
"Eh? Kagura-san? You already have a daughter? When did it happened, and why does Okita-taichou is the one taking care of her? Don't tell me-" Yamazaki was silenced when Kagura and Sougo pointed their weapons at him.
"Shut the fuck up, Anpan-yarou. You'll wake the brats-aru." Kagura said.
"It took us a long time and effort to make these rodents to shut up." Sougo added.
"So, if the all of you doesn't want to die yet, learn to keep your nasty. Stinky mouth up!" Kagura and Sougo said in unison.
So scared with the two of them, all the Shinsengumi present on that area kept their mouth shut. They kept their movements still avoiding the slight noise that may wake the kids up. Because if thy fail to do so, it's their turn to sleep… ETERNALLY.
Seconds after Hijikata arrived noticing the unusual quietness of the place.
"Oiya? What happened? Why are you all quiet? Is a funeral occurring here or something?" Hijikata joked.
"Why it is your funeral Hijikata-san. Everyone respects you so much, that they want you to have a proper and decent one. Now, now. Could you please go back to your coffin and immediately meet with your bestfriend Satan, and if it is not too much, say hi to me too." Sougo said while looking at him with bored eyes.
"Teme!" HIjikata didn't even had the chance to retort back when Aoi woke up and threw a Kunai at himj. But sadly, Mayora wasn't hit (Tch!) "Ehh? You think I'll fall for the second time?" he asked while smirking. "Well then, think again you're still a-" he didn't had the chance to continue when it was Akari's turn to hit him with a shuriken. After that the two little devils… I mean angels were giggling happily seeing blood ooze off Hijikata's head.
Kagura and Sougo put the kids down and squatted to look closer at Hijikata who was currently on the ground.
"My, my… I didn't know that you are that popular to kids Hijikata-san." Sougo teased.
"He's right. You can even build a day care center-aru."
"TEME!" Hijikata stood up, removing the shuriken stuck in his head.
"Sougo, I know you are in-charge with that brat, but what good thing will do if add another one?! We're not an orphanage dammit!"
"Actually Hijikata-san, I'm planning on collecting kids who are good enough to assassinate you. And I'm glad with the fact that Akari and Aoi is more than enough for it."
"Want me to assassinate you first bastard?!"
In the meantime, while Sougo and Hijikata were having their friendly conversation, Kagura was eating all the foods she could see in the cafeteria.
"So you mean to say that China musume also picked that brat with a note just like you?" Hijikata confirmed while lighting his cigarette with his mayo lighter.
"And I was thinking if there is a connection with the two of them, that would let us trace their real parents.
"Well, we first need to ask what Kondou-san might say about this. Where is he anyway? As I remember, we're together when we arrived here."
"Kondou-san you say? He's ther plating with the brats."
Sougo pointed at Kondou who was only wearing his briefs and a handle on his head (welcome back hostcar! xD) and prentending to be a horse with the brats on top of him.
"Fasta~ Gori!" Aoi shouted.
"Gori-chan~ banana?" Akari fed Kondou a piece of peeled banana.
"Run Gori Run!" Aoi shouted while holding the handle.
"RAWR!" Kondou roared as he run in circles.
"OI! Stop that idiocy this instance! Kondou-san! What you are doing is such a disgrace!"
"Please Toushi, I'm just being a nice grandfather to Sougo and China-musume's kids. Really… Aoi got the looks of his father and the beautiful eyes of his mother, while Akari-chan got the beauty of her mother and the sparky red eyes of her father." Kondou described while being a little teary.
"A-ano… Kondou-san, could you stop being emotional? These brats aren't theirs anyway."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOUSHI?! Can't you see the resemblance!"
"Well it's true that they look alike, but still it's a no!"
"There is still a proff!"
"What is it?" HIjikata asked getting irritated with his stubborn Gorilla commander.
Instead of answering, the two brats started throwing their shuriken and kunais at him. Hijikata dodge it (hey! Get hit already!), but what surprised him is when Kagura threw a fork at him joining the fun. Quite impressive, he still dodged it, but the worst part is when Sougo pulled out the last attack. FINISHING MOVE! Sougo fired his bazooka at Hijikata, and this time luck wasn't at his side.
"Dammit! Quit it you sadistic family!" Hijikata snapped. He stood up with his body full of dirt and blackish thing because of the explosion. "I'm out of here. Do what you want!" he announced while making his way out.
Sougo and Kagura was just having their victory grin for successfully annoying the poor mayora, when Akari pulled the end of Kagura's cheongsam while rubbing her blue eyes.
"Mami~ Sleepy"
"Is that so? Well then, time to go homw. Thanks for the free food-aru." Kagura carried Akari and was about to walk away when Aoi and Akari cried in unison.
"Now what?" Sougo asked.
"Daddy!" Akari cried "Sleep together~"
"Mami!" Aoi seconded "Let's sleep!"
"I can't understand what the hell do these brats want-aru!"
"Well, looks to me they want to sleep… the four of you.. together that is." Kondou interpreted.
"HELL NO!" the two declined.
"Who would know what China might do to me while I am still asleep, or rather… I won't even have the chance to wake up tomorrow."
"I'm not a dirty player like you bastard! But thanks for the top, I may do it one of these days-aru."
"But the kids won't stop crying see?" Kondou insisted.
"Gin-chan might get worried. It's already late. Akari-chan pick; you stay here, or go home with me-aru?"
"Stay here with mami!" Akari answered still crying.
"Geez, this is a pain!"
"Fine, fine. Stop crying already. Only for tonight. I'll let China sleep at room tonight." Sougo gave up.
"That's my boy! But please Sougo, don't be too pushy to our China musume here ok? We don't want to have a 3rd sadist angel to take care of." Kondou teased.
"Cut it out Gorilla. As if I'll just accept that bastard Sadist's offer. Who would know if I could still see the next sunrise after spending a night with him."
"I'll give you 5 of those crappy sukonbu you like. Just stay here for tonight to make these brats stop crying."
"Make it 10." Kagura betted, gesturing the number with her hands.
"Fine. 10 or more. Just stay."
"Deal. I didn't know you want to sleep with me that badly, Sadist?"
"Dream on China. If I would choose, I'd rather have a pretty girl with big tits compared to a flat chested one like you."
"Anyway, I need to call Gin-chn so he won't get worried about me and Akari."
"Then use mine, I have the number of you place, China." Sougo lended her his phone after dialing the Yorozuya hotline number. "Please try to do your best restraining that monstrous strength of yours not to break my phone."
"Don't worry, I only have the intention on breaking that annoying face of yours-aru." Kagura said, ending the verbal battle of them. She put the phone close to her ears, when she heard someone picked it up.
"Moshi, moshi? Yorozuta desu. How can I help you?" Shinpachi answered.
"SHINPACHI!"
"Kagura-chan?! Where have you been? It's already night! Go home right now! This instance! Gin-san and I are both worried sick for you and the baby!"
"About that Shinpachi. I'll be staying here at Sadist's place together with Akari-chan. So I'm not going home today. Please tell that to Gin-chan. Thanks!" After that Kagura hang up not waiting for Shinpachi's reply.
"Finished. Thanks Sadist. Now, can I break your face?" Kagura asked while returning his phone.
"Maybe China, after a hundred years, that is."
Meanwhile, at the Yorozuya office...
"That's what she said Gin-san."
"Huh? Is that so? Well good luck to them. To think they will have two monsterous glutton at their place. Better prepare a lot of foods." Gin answered lazily, while picking his nose.
"Gin-san! Aren't you worried to Kagura-chan, even for a bit?!"
"Hmm? Not really."
"THEN BE WORRIED! Kagura-chan is being alone at a place full of men! We won't know what might happen to her! And she is hanging out with Okita-san! It's Okita-san! The Sadist!"
"Calm down virgin... err... I mean Shinpachi. It's our Kagura-chan we are talking about here. if the worst thing comes, it's that sadist brat we should be worrying with."
Back at the Shinsengumi headquarters, espicifically speaking, at Sougo's room...
"Okay brats. I already did what you had requested! I am here at Sadist room! Now, go to sleep!"
"Mami~ Good night kiss!" Akari requested.
"Me too~ Kiss~ Kiss~" Aoi insisted.
"Okay, Okay~" Kagura gave each one of them a kiss on the forehead. "Now sleep"
"Daddy~ Kiss us too~" The two said.
"I can't believe, I'm gonna be doing this, but promise me you'll sleep after. Got that brats?" Sougo asked scratching his head.
"Hai~"
And so, he also kissed Akari and Aoi on their forehead.
"Oyasumi, Daddy, Mami~" Akari bid her goodnight and had slept immediately.
"*yawns* Jaa~ I'll sleep too." Kagura slept at the other side, beside Akari.
"Oi, why are you still awake? I thought we made things clear about this?" Sougo asked Aoi.
"Daddy, give Mami her kiss!" Aoi answered.
"What?!"
"Mami's Kiss!"
"Oh no you won't. Cry all you want, but I won't kiss that China."
"Why?"
"Because it's disgusting..."
"But you love it... Kissing mami~"
"No. It wasn't me. It was your real parents."
Aoi just tilted his head, confused on what he was hearing.
"Then Daddy, I'll just give Mami her goodnight kiss." Aoi said.
"Sure, sure... whatever."
And so, Aoi pulled out a marker and crept closer to Kagura.
"Hey, hey... what do you think you are doing?" Sougo asked.
"Giving Mami her goodnight kiss."
"With a marker?"
"Hai?" Aoi answered in a tone which says 'obviously'.
"Would you let me do it instead?"
"Hai!" Aoi happily gave the marker to him.
"Let's see..." he wrote at her face, words 'glutton', 'china', and 'ugly'... "Hey Aoi-" he looked at him, but what he saw was that the boy was already asleep.
He looked back at Kagura who was happily sleeping. It looks like she was having a nice dream. Before he knew it, he was already being pulled by a mysterious magnetic force towards her body. He was out of control, and that's when he finally went out of his senses and... ~Chuu~ he had kissed her forehead.
Snapping out of it, he immediately moved away from her, brushing his hair and giving a sigh.
"Oyasumi Daddy." Aoi bid goodnight at him with a sadistic grin.
Sougo was surprised by it of course. 'Clever brat.' he said to himself. Though he was kinda annoyed by the fact that he was tricked by a brat, he just smiled at him gently (WTF!) and patted his head. "Oyasumi." he answered back.
And so the sadistic family was already having their peaceful sleep.
Morning came, and Sougo (unusually) woke up early. He was feeling a bit weird. Peeking through his red eye mask, he saw Kagura resting on his arms. Half-asleep... he didn't gave a damn about it and went back to sleep. Minutes after, it was Kagura's turn to wake up.
'WHAT THE HELL!' her mind shouted seeing her current sleeping position. She wans to kill sadist or even herself, seeing that she had slept near sadist. NO! Near isn't the proper word to describe it. It looks like that they ahd been 'cuddling' each other... But anyway, killing sadist? It could wait... Moreover...
"WHERE THE HELL ARE THE BRATS-ARU?!" Kagura shouted, grabbing the collar of the sleeping sadist.
"Huh?" Sougo, lazily responded.
"I'm asking you, where the hell are the brats-aru?!"
"Like I care." Sougo swatted her hand and went back to sleep.
"Useless Jerk!" Kagura stood up and shouted. "Akari-chan! Aoi! Where are you-aru?! Akari-chan! Aoi!"
That's when Yamazaki had appeared.
"Kagura-san? Ohayou. Is there a problem?"
Kagura grabbed Yamazaki's collar and asked angrily. "Akari-chan and Aoi, ahve you seen them Anpan-yarou?! Huh?!"
"Wait a minute Kagura-san. If you are looking for the kids, I saw them went to Fukucho's room."
"Mayora eh? Show me the way-aru!"
"H-Hai!"
Yamazaki leaded the way, and BINGO! The brats were really there. They are currently playing with their Uncle Hijikata... Play? Yes play!
They tied his whole body with a rope when he was still asleep. They even covered his mouth and eyes with a handkerchief. Thoughtful enough, the kids covered his entire body with his favorite mayo. Right now, Aoi was on top of him pulling his hair while Akari was artistically puts some poop grafiti at hispretty face. The two devils are happily singing their favorite song, ~Die Jijigata. (And if you are wondering how the hell could a pair of cute little angels do it. Let's just say that their sadistic father had trained them since birth. xDDD!)
"Akari-chan! Aoi!" Kagura called them normally.
"Mami! The both of them rushed over her side leaving the poor Mayora.
"Geez.. Don't go away like that without asking permissions-aru. What if something bad will happen to the two of you?" Kagura scolded them softly.
"Gomene Mami~" the two apologized.
"Mou~" Kagura cuddled the two of them. "Fine, you two are so cute, I'll forgive you!"
"Yay!"
"Let's go have breakfast"
"Hai!"
"Hmfff!" Hijikata wants to say 'Help me here!' but he can't since his mouth was covered.
Kagura just looked at him and grins. "Well, you look goo there Mayora. See ya later!"
"HMFFF!"
Yamazaki was about to lend him a hand, when Kagura forcefully dragged him with her saying, "Don't you dare."
At the cafeteria, Kagura, Akari, and Aoi was eating like there was no tomorrow. Every Shinsengumi members are just staring at the three of them in awe.
"Ohayou! Kagura-chan! Akari-chan! Aoi-kun!" Kondou greeted them brightly.
"Ohayou Gori!" the twins greeted back.
Kondou sat beside Aoi, who started peeling a banana and fed him with it.
"You're such a good child." Kondou said patting Aoi's head and chewing the banana.
They were happily gobbling the food when Yamazaki showed up calling Kondou.
"Kondou-san. They are here again." Yamazaki reported.
"What They really are persistent. How many times do we need to tell them that he doesn't like them... or should I say, he hates them."
"What's the matter Gori?" Kagura asked seeing Kondou making weird faces.
"Well you see, there are girls from the-" Kondou stopped talking, thinking a brilliant idea... he gave a mischevious grin, and pulled Kagura's hand. "Kindly help us a bit Kagura-chan. Neh, Aoi-kun, Akari-chan, come too, I need your help."
Kagura didn't protest. Since it's thanks to the gorilla that she had a wonderful breakfast she wouldn't forget. Akari and Aoi just followed their mami and Uncle Gori.
Arriving at the backyard, there are two girls waiting...
"Yo beautiful ladies!" Kondou greeted with a bright smile.
The girls gave a very disappointed smug and complained, "Who asked for a gorilla? We want SOUGO!"
"But ladies, we have told you hundred of times that Sougo isn't interested with you. the thing happened at the host club was just a mere entertaiment for him. He won't be going back there anymore." Kondou tried explaining to them.
"NO! He said we are different, he said we are special!" the insisted. (for those who are curious who are these bitches are, watch episode _ to _ of the Host club arc. they are the two annoying girls cuddling to Sougo^^)
"Eh? Special you say?" Kagura said in a mocking tone. "That stupid sadist said that to you? Oh please~ I bet he just said that since you two idiot bitches are stupid enough to believe him and to treat him for some booze-aru." Kagura said, starting to get annoyed on how the two are acting.
"Who are you anyway?" asked the first girl.
"What do you know know about SOUGO?" asked the second girl.
"You're asking me what I know about that stupid bastard sadist? Want me to tell you how much of a jerk he is-aru? Well then, I'll gladly-" Kagura stopped, when she felt a hand touched her shoulder. And before she knew it, that hand moved and an arm was already wrapped around her body, with a head leaning on her right shoulder.
"My, my, how thoughtful of you to tell others how great I am China." a familiar tone greeted her.
"SOUGO!" exclaimed the two girls.
"S-sadist?! What the hell are you doing-aru?! Let go off me you bastard!"
Sougo let out a soft chuckle but didn't do what Kagura had demamnded. Instead, he made his hug tighter, making the girls jealous.
"SOUGO~ who is that girl anyway?"
"Why do you kept on cuddling her?"
"Oh? You don't know This beautiful girl in front of you is my wife. My one only China." Sougo answered.
Hearing that made Kagura blush. She knows that was just a bluff to permanently cast these bitches, but she still involuntarily blushed.
"WHAT! T-then if you already have a wife, why did you work at the host club?!"
"And what do you even like with that brat with a scribblings on her ugly face." The other girl asked, who can't take it anymore and pointed out the doodles on Kagura's face.
Kagura looked at Sougo and asked, "What the hell is she talking about-aru?"
Sougo smirked and pulled out his phone immediately took a picture at Kagura. "I do believe she is talking about this, my beloved."
"What the- YOU FUCKING SADIST! DIE!" kagura ran towards the restroom to wash her face.
Kondou and Yamazaki let out a sigh of relief. They wanted to tell Kagura about it, but they are afraid that the whole place would get destroyed, if she had known. They need to be patient in waiting for Sougo to wake up and personally handle her.
"Anyway bitches," Sougo faced the girls. "Stop pestering my peaceful life with my family. If ever you take a step here again, I might not control myself and do something nasty to you. Or then again, maybe my wife is more than enough for you. She is more scary that an average monster, so if I were you... scram off and never show yourselves in front of us again." Sougo threatened them wearing his sadistic grin.
The girls left the place and Sougo, Kondou and Yamazaki went back to the cafeteria to continue breakfast. Aoi and Akari stayed at the backyard to play, and Kagura went to cafeteria as well, after washing her face.
"Damn you Sadist. I knew it, I should have killed you the time you had slept-aru."
"Save me with the jokes, China. You're too comfortable with your sleep, I thought you would over-sleep. Not to mention, you were drooling."
"Shut it! Anyways, what's your problem announcing me as your wife! I know you like me, but please first things first. We're not even considered as good friends to each other, and now you're making me your wife? Didn't know know you were that obssessed towards me-aru." Kagura mocked him making a disgusted face.
"Snap out of your FANTASIES, China. Don't go fangirling about me thinking I want you as my wife. I'm sure you know I just used you as a tool to finally get rid off those annoying bitches."
"Eto... Kagura-chan, Sougo, calm down. The problem was solved anyway right. Alls well, ends well deshou?"
"Shut up, Gorilla."
"I would only believe in that 'everything ends well' crap, if Hijikata-san would finally die." Sougo said in a deadpanned tone.
"Speaking of Mayora..."
"Huh?"
"Come with me-aru." Kagura pulled Sougo's arm leading the way towards Hijikata's room.
"Hey China, asking me out on a date? Apply that 'first things first' crappy idea you said earlier. Why not confess that you like me first?"
"LIKE HELL!" Kagura opened the shouji door of Hijikata's room.
There lies, a certain mayora who was still tied just like earlier, eyes and mouth both sealed, and his body was still covered and overflowing with the stinky, nauseating yellow a\substance we call Mayo, while his handsome face was full of Akari's artistic doodles.
"China, what is this? Your gift for me" Sougo asked, walking closer to Hijikata.
"I'm not the culprit. It was Akari-chan and Aoi who did this. I just saw them having fun torturing MAyora-aru."
Sougo let out a childish smile as he continue to take countless of pictures all over Hijikata's body. Hijikata let out a moan, asking for help, but then again we all know he won't get any. Satisfied with the images taken. Sougo said,
"I may really adopt those brats for real..."
AN: Advance Merry Christmas to you my beautiful and handsome and lovable readers. Please send me your reviews as a gift for Christmas… Tnx^^