A/N: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINALLY… ACTUALLY MADE ITS FINAL CHAPTER. I REALLY THOUGHT I WOULD DROP THIS FANFIC I MEAN I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PROPERLY END THIS STUPID FANFIC WHICH WAS PLANNED TO BE A ONE-SHOT RIGHT FROM THE START, NOT THAT I AM SAYING THAT THIS IS A GOOD ENDING THOUGH
WARNING: MIGHT BORE YOU TO DEATH AND BE ANNOYED WITH A BUNCH OF GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, TYPOS AND LAME JOKES, BUT IF YOU'RE STILL WILLING THEN GO READ THIS CRAPPY FINALE
DISCLAMER: I DO NOT OWN THIS FREAKING HILARIOUS ANIME/MANGA WHICH IS FINALLY BACK TO MAKE OURSELVES LAUGH OUR ASSES OUT. IT BELONGS TO THAT GORILLA MANGAKA NAMED SORACHI DAI-SENSEI SAMA!
CHAPTER: 7 DRAMATIC PARTING WAYS ARE SO CLICHÉD; LET'S MAKE IT FUN AND SADISTIC
"Oh." Was the only reply Kagura had made looking closely at the man in his early twenties who looks like a total rip-off of a certain samurai anime. Seriously though, she wants to slap her own face in even having the thought of him being Sougo. 'Nah, Sadist is still stuck right where I had left him. Maybe I should bring a camera first before I rescue him uh-huh.'
As she was drowned in her own thoughts, the man with a pretty long hair and has the same color as Sougo's suddenly snorted and had a statement which snapped out of her. "Hey, hey China. I know I am so handsome that you find me so irresistible but mind stop spacing out. I'm already married and I'm not interested in flat chested girls like you, maybe after 10 years or so?"
A vein pop appeared on the temple of her head as she tried giving him a punch, but he just swiftly dodged it as if he was already used with her surprise attack. "Excuse me Mr. K*nshin rip-off, but I don't have any interest with guys that have hair longer than mine-aru? Are you gay? Hah!"
Instead of getting pissed as well, he fought back with a challenging smirk and retorted back, "well just like what I have said a while ago, I don't have any interests with brats that have no chest. Oh wait, are you even sure you're a girl?" he leaned closer to her focusing his sight on her chest, "'cause it appears to me you're a guy in drag."
"THAT'S IT YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!" just when she was about the give him a beating, a laser beam like light when through in the middle of them.
"I'm just reminding you two that I am still here you know?" the forgotten pig amanto reminded.
"You… eh who?" the two of the wondered in unison.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO? I WAS HERE RIGHT FROM THE START AND YOU OKITA YOU KNOW ME ALREADY! I'M FROM THE FUTURE BUTAROU-SAMA!"
As if he heard nothing, the guy named Okita faced Kagura with a disgusted face, "What China? You want to tell me that that is your boyfriend. I do know you act like a pig specially towards eating, but to think that your taste in men also a pig…"
"Are you stupid, do you really think I would go out with a ham, and stop acting like you know me-aru."
"But I do know you China, I know you very well from head to toe."
"Stalker? And look who's talking about not having interests with brats, maybe that's the opposite-aru. Maybe you're a lolicon uh-huh!"
"Heh? Who would get aroused with a girl like you, rather than dating you, it would be more like babysitting so thanks but no thanks…"
"Why you-"
But before she could fight back another beam of light passed through them interrupting.
"Oh you're still here-aru?" Kagura asked.
"Maybe he would be asking you for a date China?" the man beside her followed.
"Enough with that joke, and please would you stop talking with me as if we are close? The way you talk awfully reminds me of someone I know."
"Oh really, so who's that someone?"
"Why do you even want to know?"
"I just want to…"
"Then don't expect me to respond."
As the two of them once again continued with their verbal brawl, Butarou got tired of being ignored and thought of a perfect way to catch these two's attention.
"Well since you two are getting quite well with each other, then I shall go ahead first and find those twin brats."
He was about to take one step away from his place when he felt a cold solid metal on his neck. One was from Kagura's umbrella and the other was from the male's sharp katana.
"Don't you dare hurt my kids." The Okita announced.
Surprised with what she had heard, Kagura looked at him and asked, "You mean they are your kids-aru?"
The man in question smirked back and answered, "Maybe you meant our kids, China."
"BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Seriously China, how long would you go planning on laughing like that? How 'bout start helping me here?" Sougo complained, still being stuck under the huge debris that fell from one of the park's ride.
The woman's laughter faded away and made a pretty bored look, "Oh, so ya figured out already who I am eh?" she jumped from the high place she came from and squatted in front of him.
"I am not as dense as you, China. I bet that the present you still haven't figured out the future me though."
"Oh impressive, chibi sadist. Now tell me what else do you already know about us, mr. tax robber genius." She sarcastically asked, putting her hands on her waist.
"How 'bout letting me go first, then I'll talk."
Just when the future Kagura was about to say something back, another female voice resounded the place.
"Not 'till I got an embarrassing picture of yours sadist." It was the younger Kagura together with the present him that Kagura was still oblivious of.
"Great. Just great. What took you so long China? Had a huge dump?"
"What missed me already, yes?"
"Sorry to pop the bubble of your fangirling but I was just waiting for you to help me here, nothing more, nothing less."
Meanwhile, while the younger versions of the sadistic couple was busy arguing, the couple from the future already had easily tied the criminal duo and interrogated them.
"Well, just because of those stupid careless poor of an excuse tax robbers' surveillance, doesn't mean you should escape and cause problems both in the future and the past."
"Except from China's false humiliation towards the Shinsengumi, I do agree with her and the fact that you were planning on getting our children involved? I do believe you know pretty well that any time by now you'll go die."
The two arrested amantos just kept quiet for their 45th failed plan. Though, they do know the route on how they could easily escape again, thanks to the Shinsengumi's jail which is full of holes. They swore to take revenge to these couple which is bound to fail again anyways.
"Well, well China… now that's everything is done, how 'bout lending a hand with the younger me, after all he is still your husband."
"Why would I?" instead, she brought out her phone and squatted close to the other Kagura and said "Hey mini me which is still as cute as ever, let's take a picture of this pitiful shorty sadist."
Turning her head to the older her, she was still kinda confused on what's the current situation, especially on what the women called her. The 'cute' part was something she knows a long time by now, but the 'mini me' one doesn't ring any bells to her.
The Kagura from the future could clearly see the confusion of the younger her. Sighing in defeat after remembering the young Sougo said about her being still oblivious about everything she just decided to explain everything to her.
"WHAT?! YOU MEAN YOU'RE ME IN THE FUTURE?!" as what was the expected reaction of everyone from her.
"Finally China, it's about time." The stuck Sougo commented.
"Shut up sadist, so you mean you already know?"
"Well duh, I'm not as stupid and dense as you."
"Why you-" but before she could say anything any further Sougo continued on talking.
"And that handsome guy behind you is actually me in the future." He pointed.
Kagura turned her back, as the future Sougo finally joins their conversation,
"And here's the thing… that ugly woman right there is actually my wife."
"WHATTTT?!" shouted Kagura who was the only one who got surprised in both Sougo's revelation.
After the hundred shots of Sougo's humiliating situation, both Kagura feeling pretty satisfied had decided to help him be released from that place. The future couple decided first to take home the criminal duo and promise to meet them so that they can finally bring the twins back home.
They decided to meet in the Shinsengumi Headquarters only to see two Hijikatas 'playing' with the twins.
The present Hijikata who got kunai on his forehead which came from Aoi and the future Hijikata that got a shuriken on the same place as the younger him courtesy of Akari.
The Kondou from the future was also there, still wearing his prison clothes currently chatting with the present him which was mostly how they stalk Otae every single day.
Speaking of Otae, unfortunately she couldn't meet the future her, which was according to the future Shinpachi is currently sick. Anyways, the present megane still had his jaw drop and can't believe how cool-looking he would be in the future.
Unknown to everyone except from the Yorozuya trio which decided on just being quiet about it, Katsura is also there examining the future him which had an eyepatch and kiseru together with Elizabeth that had a muscular body. Dragging her current pet he decided on putting him on a workout to let him have the same body in the near future, but what surprised them all was when the future Eli spoke plus how he could tolerate the taste of the nauseating mayonnaise which only pleased both Hijikata.
The place was filled with laughter, noise and chaos. They were truly enjoying everyone's company. Future or present doesn't even matter, they are still the same.
Both Kondous tried jumping on Otae, but still got their assed kicked by the devil woman.
Both Hijikatas was being killed by the two Okitas plus the twins joining the fun.
Both Kaguras almost left nothing to eat for any of the guests.
Both Shinpachis tried retorting any stupid things coming out from them, though the future Shinpachi was still a bit more composed.
Both Katsuras were shouting their tag line "Zura ja nai Katsura da!" which only gained them a bump on the head thanks to Gin who tried to stop him from busting out his real identity.
Both Elizabeths were just watching over their stupid leader laugh obnoxiously saying that everything's gonna be okay.
Double the laughter, double the chaos that was the current situation, but the past and the future shouldn't be together in the first place. The time came for them to say their goodbye.
Everyone went back to their own time leaving behind the future sadistic couple. With the twins currently sleeping on the arms of the younger Kagura and Sougo they carefully pass the children to their parents.
"Guess this is now goodbye-aru." Kagura said a bit sad looking at the twins but still managed on smiling.
"It's not like you won't be able to see them anymore, no?" the older Yato answered together with a mischievous grin.
"What do you mean-aru?" she asked not catching what the other her meant with her words.
"*sighs* dense China is dense." The older Okita sighed and placed his free arm around his wife's waist. "Just ask him and you'll know." He followed pointing to the younger him who can't help but smack his own palm on his forehead, both with Kagura's denseness and his future self's statement which he was pretty sure that would make Kagura bug him with questions.
"Bye!" the married couple with the twins made their way to the time machine and bid their goodbye, the sadist couple did the same and made their way to the park, sitting on their favorite bench.
"So… what did they meant by the chance of meeting Aoi and Akari again-aru?" she asked turning her head to face him.
"God China, you still don't know?" he can't help himself but pull his own hair in annoyance.
"Duh, that is why I am asking you, yes?" she retorted back sarcastically slipping a strip of sukonbu in her mouth.
But instead of answering her question, Sougo leaned his face closer to hers. It was really close they clearly feel the breath of each other. Kagura was stunned, she wants to pull her face away, but her whole body froze. Blood was rising to her head; she knows her face is now as red as her dress even without facing the mirror. Her heart beat was so fast and loud she's afraid he would hear it. Not contented with their current distance, Sougo leaned closer and closer, Kagura doesn't even know what to do anymore and just shut her eyes tightly closed when she felt something pulling the sukonbu slipping in her mouth away. Opening her eyes slowly she saw Sougo biting her favorite snack with his victorious grin. "Gotcha."
"Why you-"
"You'll know the answer to your question after beat me, then again I don't think that is quiet possible. Maybe before you knew it you'll meet the brats even before winning against me." putting his hands both on his pockets he made his way back to the headquarters still, with his sadistic smirk.
AFTER FIVE YEARS
Tiny footsteps running around the household with their giggles giving life all over the place.
Today was their favorite day, it's the day their favorite target/uncle will gonna visit them and that means play time.
Two kids around 2-3 years old holding their toys excitedly ran towards the living room where their visitor awaits, instead of the normal greeting kids do, the brats threw their toys which are a shuriken and kunais straight their target.
"Argh!" was the only thing he managed to say realizing that his head had each. The man with crimson eyes beside him and the woman with long-orange hair serving the tea had their victorious grin and pulled thumbs up directed to the kids.
With their loud giggles, the boy with his blue eyes and the girl with her red eyes chanted, "Die Jijigata!~"
A/N: THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR REACHING THIS CHAPTER. TO THOSE NEW READERS THAT READ THIS STRAIGHT AND ESPECIALLY TO THOSE PAST REDEARS WHO DIDN'T DROP THIS CRAPPY FANFIC EVEN THOUGH IT TOOK ME YEARS UPON FINISHING THIS 7 CHAP FANFIC. I LOVE YA ALL! AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE I REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU SO PLEASE…
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LOVE LOTS.
KORIN-CHAN14~