Late the next afternoon she had holed herself up in her parlour, pouring over linen rotas and order lists – anything that would keep her mind busy and stop her from fretting about Lady Mary and Mr. Bates' visit to the prison, about how they would find Anna when they got there.

Her work was interrupted when Mr. Carson entered her sanctuary, looking both apologetic and worried.

"Lady Mary has asked for you to join her in the library," he informed her quietly.

Mrs. Hughes gave a curt nod and after having taken a deep, steadying breath made her way upstairs.

"You asked to see me, milady," she opened after she had entered the library.

Lady Mary was still in her travelling outfit and tightly held onto the cup of tea in her hands. If Elsie Hughes hadn't known Lady Mary to be incapable of the emotion, she would have thought that the young Lady looked apprehensive.

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes. As you probably know we went to see Anna today," Lady Mary began and her voice was just as coolly detached as it always was.

"How is Anna?" Mrs. Hughes inquired quietly.

"Much as you'd expect," Lady Mary replied curtly, not really wanting to go into detail about how drawn and small Anna had looked in that horrendous grey prison uniform. How the young woman had tried to be so strong for her husband and her employer but how every pore of her being had exuded desperation. "We had Mr. Murray with us, to help us come up with a strategy for the hearing. I think it calmed Anna to be able to talk to him about what to expect."

"I'm sure it did," Mrs. Hughes said – unsure of why the other woman was almost fidgeting nervously as she recounted the prison visit. Lady Mary caught herself quickly and appraised the Housekeeper with her icy blue eyes.

"Your name has come up in the discussion and certain… doubts have been expressed about your testimony."

At this Mrs. Hughes tensed.

"Anna is worried about what you'll say – given how your testimony in Mr. Bates' case was so… infelicitous, I suppose you could say."

In Lady Mary's defence, she did look uncomfortable relaying this afternoon's conversation but that didn't soften the blow for the Housekeeper. She felt as if she had been slapped. It was one thing for her to be apprehensive, but for Anna to actually be afraid of Mrs. Hughes' role in the hearing, for her to more or less expect the Housekeeper to fail at providing an exonerating testimony hurt worse than she could have expected.

"I see," she replied flatly and there really was nothing more to say for her.

"Mr. Murray thought it might be a good idea to have a few practice sessions – if you will – before the hearing. He'd confront you in much the same way the prosecution will presumably do. You wouldn't be having these sessions alone, of course. Mr. Bates and I would have separate sessions with Mr. Murray as well. No one of us wants Anna in prison for any longer than she has to be."

"Of course not," Mrs. Hughes agreed – her voice flat, toneless.

"Good, it will be a relief for Anna to know that this has been settled. That will be all then, Mrs. Hughes."

The Housekeeper nodded briefly before leaving the room again on shaking legs. She willed her body to keep her upright until she had reached her parlour. Once back inside she stood in the middle of the room, allowing a feeling of emptiness to envelope her. Emptiness was good, was wanted – was the only thing that would allow her to go on now.

He had noticed her strange behaviour when she had returned from her conversation with Lady Mary. He had seen the dull, empty look in her eyes, the pallor of her skin. His inquiries after her well-being had been firmly rebuffed by her, her body tense, her voice defensive.

Nevertheless, after dinner he ventured into her parlour and asked whether she'd join him for a glass of sherry. She had briefly looked like she'd decline but then she had surprised him by agreeing. He poured her a healthy dose and settled himself in the chair opposite of her.

"Are you feeling a bit more yourself?" he asked softly.

Like yourself. If only she knew what that was. But she couldn't ask him about his view of her; dreaded the answer too much. Was afraid of words like hard-working, diligent, reliable being thrown around.

"I wasn't aware that I wasn't myself," she replied. A blatant lie.

He sighed quietly. Another wall. He thought about what she had always done to break through his defences, how she had always managed to draw him out. He put his sherry glass onto the table and fixed her with his eyes.

"Mrs. Hughes, I should like to repeat some words to you that I have told you a long time ago if I may," he began slowly.

She withstood the urge to say that she was agog or some such nonsense, simply clasped her hands firmly in her lap and forced herself to keep looking at him. She gave a short nod in acquiescence.

His rich, brown eyes seemed to bore into her before he finally spoke again. "I am always on your side, Mrs. Hughes. Always. I'd like you to remember that even if you do not wish for my help."

"Why?" The question was out before she had time to think about it.

"What do you mean, why?" he asked in confusion.

"Why would you always be on my side?" she repeated her question, not sure which answer to expect, which answer to hope for. She knew it was an impossible question to ask, but she needed to know.

"I… well….," he was fumbling, his face colouring a light red. "Because we… I mean… ."

In the end she took pity on him. "It's alright Mr. Carson, it was wrong of me to ask. It's a nice sentiment and I thank you for saying it."

He exhaled harshly. Painfully aware that he had just missed another – possibly vital – chance. Another moment gone.

"Well then, I'll say goodnight," he offered quietly when she didn't take him up on his veiled offer of unburdening herself to him. She nodded, reciprocating his wish for a good night.

When the door closed behind him, she brought a shaking hand to her mouth and pressed her eyes closed as she fought the urge to cry uncontrollably.

Thanks to all of you who are still reading this - I'll admit - slightly depressing story. I promise that this was the last truly angsty chapter. Your reviews really mean a lot to me, so please leave one if you have the time.