Hi guys! Here's the next bit! Big thank you to AmbrosiaRush and Jeffyzfavoriteskittle27 for your reviews! Reviews make the writer's heart happy. You two are awesome! Also, thanks to you guys who are following and favoriting.
Hope you enjoy this next bit! It is kind of a prelude to the next chapter which should be...interesting. (insert wicked smile here)
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Tess really wasn't sure how long she sat there, waiting for some cosmic intervention to prevent her from having to make this particular phone call. She had bitten the fingernails on her left hand down to the quick while the nails on her right hand tapped out a rhythmic beat against the desk. She didn't even bother pretending to work; after all, anybody she could even remotely call boss was gone. Her biggest and only concern was the telephone sitting on the desk in front of her. It was only a piece of manufactured plastic, brought to life by wires and batteries, but Tess was convinced it was staring her down; challenging her. She wanted to throw the damned thing out the window.
Opie, her employer, the man who had taken a chance and hired her on a whim and trusted her and supported her, had asked her to do one simple thing. Give him a call, would you? he had asked, not knowing the incredible weight his request had dumped on her already burdened shoulders. Of course, he had no way of knowing what one phone call could do to her; how could he have? She hadn't exactly advertised her little tryst with the blonde biker. However, regardless of how much she had tried to hide it, they all noticed something was going on and she wondered just how long she would be able to keep this secret buried.
The way Tess saw it, she had only two choices here. She could pick up the phone and dial the phone number that had been running through her head for the past two days. She could confront the man that she had so foolishly allowed to befriend her and tempt her and pleasure her in ways she had never even dared to imagine. Or, she could tell the mechanics that she was stepping out to go pick up lunch, drive to her tiny apartment, pack every last thing she could fit into her old Toyota, and go running back to her mother and father and Tim (oh God, she couldn't even think about Tim, not now) and the white picket fence and her old, boring, vanilla life.
Fuck that, she thought as she picked up the phone and dialed the numbers without even thinking. She didn't even fully process that she had actually made the call until the shrill ring tone sounded in her ear, causing her to inhale sharply. She was actually calling him. Because you have to, she reminded herself, but it really didn't matter. The phone was ringing and she hadn't thought everything through and she hadn't planned exactly what she should say and she hadn't come up with any stinging one liners to deliver in sophisticated, cool fashion. A part of her, the part that had been grown and nurtured back in Garden Grove, was begging her to hang up right now before she embarrassed herself even further. The other part, the strong, independent side that she had been cultivating in Charming under the influence of Joan Jett and Sylvia Plath told her that she had better not hang up that phone.
It took Tess a moment to realize that the phone was still ringing. If she had to guess, she would say it was on its fifth ring now, and her spirits began to lift. Maybe he was too busy or too drunk or too nervous or too scared to face her. Maybe he wouldn't pick up the phone! It would be so much better and easier that way. Then, she could just leave a polite and efficient voicemail reminding him of dinner at Gemma's and telling him he needed to pick up a shift at the garage on Opie's orders and then she would be done. Her task would be completed without her ever having to even speak to him. Tess flashed a triumphant grin, certain that her issue was solved. The grin only lasted for a split second, because of course, he picked up the phone on the seventh ring.
"'lo?" came his voice, and she bristled at the fact that it sounded as if she had woken him up at ten in the morning.
Tess froze, instantly horrified. She had been so sure, for just a half second, that he was not going to pick up the phone and she had allowed herself to believe that she would be able to avoid this. She had been wrong.
"Hello?" he asked again, echoing his previous question with more annoyance bleeding into his tone this time around.
She struggled to string the words together, incredibly flustered by the fact that she felt like an eighth grade girl. How on Earth had she allowed him to make her feel that way? She was at least glad that he couldn't see her face; her neon red, splotchy face.
"Listen, whoever this is, if you are just going to sit there and breath all heavy, at least let me get alone so I can enjoy it," he snarked. The sudden knowledge that he wasn't alone stung much more than it should have. She took a quick, deep breath, desperate to get oxygen into her lungs.
"No," she suddenly found the word she was looking for. "No...don't...just. No. It's me. Tess. From the garage."
"Oh," he said. "Yeah, sorry. Hey."
Seriously? All of her nervous fretting, and all he has to offer is an Oh. Hey? What the fuck?
"Yeah. Hey," she said burying the bubbling fury, all business now. "I am calling to remind you of dinner at Gemma's tonight. Are you coming?"
"What?" he asked, clearly thrown off by her tone. Even he could sense the underlying anger. This was not going to be the light hearted exchange he had hoped for. "I mean, yeah. I will be there. It's at seven, right?"
"Right," she reported shortly.
"Are you going to be there?" he asked, and she couldn't read his voice. It didn't sound flirty or hopeful of angry or annoyed. It was as if there was nothing in it.
"Yeah," she told him quickly, matching his tone. "Opie says that you need to come to work soon. Dog picked up your garage shift today. They have been looking for you."
He was quiet for a minute, and she could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out what to say. Somehow, his damned brain settled on a light hearted jab.
"Yeah, I figured I should probably lay low for a couple of days and give you a chance to recover from my huge-" he started.
She didn't let him get any farther than that. "Stop."
"Sorry," he sighed, she she hated that she couldn't tell whether or not he really was. She hated that she couldn't figure out what the hell he was thinking. When he continued, his voice was neither serious nor light. "Are we okay, Tess? You and me? Tess and Kozik? Us?"
For the first time since the beginning of the conversation, she wished that he was here, in front of her, so she could see his face. She wanted, needed, to know what he was thinking and it killed her that she couldn't. She pushed that thought aside, knowing that in the end, it didn't really matter. Regardless of what he was thinking or feeling or wanted, Tess knew better. She didn't need any complications or heartache in her life, and he was sure to bring both. She knew that she couldn't take a chance. She couldn't let this get any worse than it already was.
"There is no us," she told him, careful to keep her voice steady. "I am fine. Don't give me and my...fineness another though. I assume you are fine too, so really, there isn't anything else to talk about."
There was silence for a full ten seconds after she stopped talking. Tess knew that he was probably stunned by her words, and she came very close to taking them back. She wouldn't let herself do that, though. She didn't want to hurt him, but damn it, she had already let her guard down and given in to something she should have fought, and it had already landed her in a world of pain. Tess would not allow it to get worse.
"I-" he began, but she didn't let him get any further.
"I will see you at Gemma's," she said, and slammed the phone down on the ringer.
As calmly as could be, she stood up and walked over to the blinds, carefully ensuring that each and every one of them was closed. As she walked by the door, she slid the lock in place, securing herself in the office where nobody could hear her. Once that was done and she was finally alone with her thoughts, Tess collapsed in the chair, and it didn't even take a full minute for the tears to start.
Tara was flanked on either side by Chibs and Opie, but she still felt incredibly vulnerable as she waited in the large, grey room amongst the other visiting family members. She knew it was just in her mind, but she couldn't shake off the chill that had set into her bones. She had come to see Jax, and her logical brain knew that he was here, but it was hard for her to picture him amongst all this steel and cement and barbed wire, just another blue jumpsuit in the sea.
"You okay, Tara?" Opie asked her quietly.
"Y-yeah," she stammered, shaking her head to clear it. She wrapped her arms around herself to stave off the chill.
"Listen," Opie explained, with a gentle urgence. "I know that you are not exactly thrilled to be here, but now you need to be strong. He has been worried about you and you need to show him that you are okay...even if you're not."
"I know," she nodded, steeling herself.
"Remember, Doc," Chibs spoke up from her other side, wrapping an arm around her and squeezing her. "We're here with you. I know that this is a lot for you to handle. Let's just get through this."
"I know," she managed a half-smile. "Thank you guys."
"Here they come," Opie nodded toward the door where the prisoners filed their way in.
Tara could pick Jax out of the crowd almost immediately. She was surprised at how little he had changed. Yes, his long, dirty blond hair was now cropped close to his skull. Yes, the baggy jeans, Reaper shirt, and white sneakers were replaced by a blue jumpsuit and slip on shoes. Other than that, everything else looked the same. He had the same imposing presence on the guys around him, the same walk, the same everything. He had the same bright blue eyes that found hers from across the hall. When she met his eyes, she wasn't scared or nervous anymore. All she really felt was an overwhelming sense of relief.
He made his way across the space that separated them, as quickly as he was allowed. They didn't exchange any words, but as soon as he was close enough, she wrapped him in her arms and hugged him for all she was worth. She had listened to Opie when he said to be strong, she really had, but the tears were coming anyway and she couldn't have stopped them anymore than she could have stopped breathing.
All too soon, the guard was coughing and reminding them that the rule was 'brief hugs only'. Tara stifled a laugh and leaned back, wiping her eyes. Jax was smiling at her and he looked genuinely happy to see her and for the life of her, Tara really couldn't remember what the hell had kept her away for so long.
"Hey Babe," he smiled at her as he sat down, never letting go of her hand.
"Hey," she replied, sitting across from him as close she she was allowed.
"I've really missed you," he told her quietly, leaning in so that his words were for her only.
"Yeah," she agreed, breathing easily for the first time in months. "I've missed you too."
Not far away, Chibs and Juice had their eyes on the newly reunited lovers. It was a tender moment that probably shouldn't have been shared with and entire prison visitation room, but since neither Jax nor Tara was showing any sign of embarrassment, both men watched without any reservations. Juice was thrilled for his VP. Jax had been walking around cloaked in misery that he was not even attempting to hide. Hopefully, that would change now. At the same time, Juice felt a tinge of jealousy. No woman had ever come close to looking at him the way Tara was looking at Jax. Chibs, on the other hand, was instantly caught up in a bout of missing his wife so fucking much that he was practically choking on it.
"We should probably stop staring at them, huh?" Juice asked, making no effort to move his eyes.
"Aye, probably," Chibs agreed, not looking away either. It wasn't until Jax caught the both of them staring and shot a glare in their direction that the two men looked at one another again, breaking into laughter at the look on the VP's face. "You doing okay Juicy-Boy?"
"Yeah, doing good," Juice nodded, not sure who he was trying to convince, himself or Chibs. "As good as anybody can be doing in here, anyway."
"That's good," Chibs told him. "You keeping yourself busy?"
"Busy enough. There's not much to do," Juice told the older man. Prison wasn't meant to entertain. EVeryday, Juice got up, ate, worked out, did whatever work they had him assigned, played cards, went outside, and came back in. He could feel himself growing restless inside. He was not really the sort of person meant to stay idle for long, and routine bored him to tears. Which was why he had made a strange choice. "I, uh, signed up to take my GED. You know, because I never got it and all. It's not like I have anything better to do. They have classes here and it gets me out of laundry duty."
As hard as Juice was trying to seem casual, Chibs could tell that this meant something to him. Juice had been forced to leave home long before he had the chance to finish school, and Chibs knew he had never been proud of that fact. Ordinarily, Chibs would take this golden opportunity to point out that Juice becoming educated was pretty much a disaster waiting to happen. One look at the kid's shifting eyes and nervous demeanor stopped him, though. He knew that Juice was looking for approval, and Chibs had no problem giving it. "That's good, Juicy. You might as will do something worthwhile, since you're stuck in here anyway."
"Yeah," was all Juice said, but the smile on his face spoke volumes. Having gotten the much needed approval from his friend, he continued. "How're you doing?" the kid asked. "Glad you got back from Belfast okay."
"Yeah, I am doing alright. Been busy as hell since I came back. Can't sleep for shit. So really, same as usual," Chibs updated the boy.
Juice, who basically idolized Chibs like an older brother, saw right through that breezy statement. Juice might have been glad to have Chibs back, but Chibs didn't exactly seem glad to be back. "You miss them pretty bad, huh?" he asked, not even concerned that he was prying.
"Like crazy," Chibs laughed, not really caring that he had been called out on it. "Talked to Kerrianne earlier though. They're coming to visit in a couple of weeks."
"Really?" Juice asked, not able to contain his own excitement. During their time in Belfast, he and Kerrianne had become fast friends. Since he had been in prison, one of the only things he had to look forward to were the weekly letters from Kerrianne.
"Really," Chibs reiterated. "Kerrianne has mid semester break coming up and they will be here for a couple of weeks."
"That's awesome, man," Juice grinned. "You can show Kerrianne all the sights in Charming. All three of them."
"I figured that I would spend some time teaching her to ride," Chibs told him, laughter coloring his eyes. "I mean, your bike really isn't being used for anything right now."
"That's funny," Juice replied, not at all sure that Chibs was joking. "And by funny, I mean terrifying. Please don't let her near my bike, man."
"No promises," Chibs grinned back, before his face shifted to a more serious look. "What do I do with them?"
"What?" ashed Juice, completely unprepared for the question.
"What am I going to do with Fiona and Kerrianne, in Charming, for two weeks?" Chibs elaborated. "It's….Charming. Hell, even I get bored here. Kerrianne is a teenage girl, and Charming is…"
"Charming," Juice finished. "Well, what did you guys do together in Belfast?"
"Just….stuff. We went a few places and did a few things, but Kerrianne's life is there, so she was never bored or anything. She doesn't know anybody here and there is not a bloody thing to do in this town, and if she hates it, she will never want to come back."
"And we don't want that," Juice surmised. As much as he hated to admit it, Chibs was probably right. On the outside, he could be helpful and hang out with Kerrianne and entertain her, but on the inside, he could do nothing.
"No, we really don't," Chibs agreed. He was quiet for a minute before he continued. "She still been writing you letters every week?"
Juice paused for a second to feel out the situation, well aware that they were entering dangerous territory. On one hand, he treasured his letters from Kerrianne. She was a good friend, somebody close enough to the Club to not be freaked out by it, but far enough to not be party to the terrifying aspect of it. To be honest, he needed all the friends he could get. However she was the daughter of his brother, his best friend. Chibs hadn't outright forbid him and Kerrianne from writing and emailing back and forth, but Juice knew that he was far from thrilled by it. Lying would be of no use here, so he shrugged.
"Yeah, I get letters still," he admitted, not focusing directly on the other man's face. "She tells me about school and life and stuff and asks me about prison. And you. She asks about you alot. She was thrilled when you were there, you know. I got pages and pages of her waxing poetic about her Da."
Chibs smiled at that, but didn't address it out loud. "Good, good. You should write to her. Ask her what she wants to do while she's here. It's be easier than us two oafs trying to guess for ourselves."
"Absolutely," Juice agreed, thrilled that he could do something for his friend. "I am sure I can get some ideas. I think you should definitely start off by bringing her to visit me."
"I'm sure you do," Chibs told him, an eyebrow raised. "Because prison is the ideal travel destination for my teenage daughter."
"Glad you agree, man," Juice smirked at him. "And here I thought it would be hard to convince you!"
Gemma sat perched on the couch, warm cup of coffee in hand, eyes trained on Abel as he pushed a dump truck back and forth across the floor. It was hard for her to believe how big he was getting. It seemed like only yesterday he was a tiny frail thing, no bigger than a kitten. And now here he was, crawling and laughing and playing, showing no signs of the stress from the past few months. They were lucky; so, so lucky.
The phone interrupted her quiet thoughts. Abel turned to look at her, offended by the noise that had interrupted his play time.
"It's okay, baby," she smiled at him. "Grandma's gonna get the phone."
Gemma set the cup down and moved to get the phone from the counter, her eyes never leaving Abel. It was going to be a long, long time before she would feel comfortable taking her eyes off of her grandson. She had come too close to losing him, too many times.
"Hello?" she asked into the receiver.
"Gemma? This is Ally Lowen," came the reply, and Gemma's interest was piqued.
"Is everything okay? Is it the guys?" was the first question out of Gemma's mouth. With most of the boys inside, the lawyer could have some very, very bad news to deliver.
"Everything is fine," Lowen was quick to reassure her. "It's not them I'm calling about, actually. It's you."
"Me?" she asked, skeptically. "What the hell have I done now? I haven't left my damned house in months!"
"I know," Lowen sighed into the phone. "But now you will."
That was not what Gemma had been expecting. "What?"
"Your house arrest is over," Lowen explained. "I argued that you hadn't actually done anything wrong, and once I brought up the fact that the false charges triggered an issue with your medical condition, that pretty much sealed it. Long story short, you're free. The order will be signed by this afternoon."
"That's...just...wow," was all Gemma could think to say. She finished the conversation, taking down details, and then hung up, turning to look at her grandson. She could take him to the park and lay him in his crib at night and see him whenever she wanted to. She could go to Stockton and visit her husband and her son and the rest of the guys. There was literally nothing stopping her now.
"How about that," she whispered as she walked over to pick up Abel. "Grandma is free!"