First and foremost I want to thank each and every one of you who favorite, follows and reviews this story, it means so much to me that people enjoy reading L.O.F.
Just have to clear some tiny things up before we get into next chapter.
I've decided not to reflect on the slap between Kensi & Deeks in this chapter. Mostly because I felt that it was resolved at the end of the last one.
I had some people say that Deeks reaction was extreme and unjustified but I didn't see it that way. Yes, he overreacted on a cover kiss, when he had done so much worse in the past. Yes, he called her a sl*t but he acknowledged that he shouldn't have said it and he even told Kensi that he probably deserved the punch. The point I was trying to make was that Deeks was upset about the fact that Kensi walked away from him when she so clearly made him promise to never do that to her. You can take the fight and the punch any way you like but in the end the main point I was trying to make was that they BOTH still have a lot to learn and at the end of the day they want to do that together.

There isn't a clear timeline in this story, sometimes one chapter immediately follows into the next and other times (like this one) it's clear that a little time has passed between both chapters. I hope that's not too confusing for you guys.

I know it's an illusion but I still hold out hope that one day I might have ownership over Densi and/or NCIS LA. Right now though, I have to be content with the fact that nothing more than the ideas for this story are my own.

Okay, enough talk. Let's get into the chapter.

Enjoy!

In a dark moment I ask, "How can anyone bring a child into this world?" And the answer rings clear, "Because there is no other world, and because the child has no other way into it."

-Robert Brault

It's one of those days. One of those days where everything you don't want to talk about forces their way to the surface and you have no other way of getting rid of it.
Kensi had known for years that Deeks was the type that wanted kids and every time they had a case that involved children she'd see that extra glint of happiness in his eyes when he'd get to play with them. For the longest time Kensi couldn't imagine herself as a mother but in the back of her mind she knew the talk about it was inevitable.

Here they where, sitting outside Sam's garden on a Saturday afternoon. The case they had been working on had wrapped early and Michelle had invited them over for a little family barbecue. Deeks had been watching Kensi clearly for a couple minutes while she appeared to intensely watch Sam play with his daughter. Her features where relaxed but her body langue betrayed her tense state.

"You don't want to have kids?" Deeks blurred out. He knew that bringing this up right now was a risk but he couldn't hold it in any longer. The thought had haunted him the entire day and they had been together long enough for them to finally have a real talk about their future plans.

Kensi looked at him, clearly startled by his direct approach "I never said that. I said it was unlikely with a job like ours" she explained.

Deeks sighed, after years of working side by side he knew how to read between her lines and he didn't like what he was hearing "You said highly unlikely. Highly unlikely is pretty much a no"

Kensi shifted, tearing her eyes away from the Hanna family, and turning towards Deeks "Can we not do this right now? Can we talk about this later?" she asked, but the tone of her voice made it seem more like a statement than a question.

Deeks shook his head "No. Because later with you is almost always never"

It was clear that Deeks wasn't going to let this go without a fight and she knew that this wasn't the time and place to get into everything "We'll talk about this when we get home" she promised, locking her eyes with his

Deeks eyed her hopeful "So there's still something to talk about?" he asked, knowing that if there was something to talk about it meant he could still hold out a little hope

"Yes Deeks, there is" Kensi promised, taking his hand and squeezing it softly.

Silence. All she really wants is silence. Silence, to put her thoughts in order.

Unfortunately, silence isn't an option "Let's talk" Deeks says the minute she drops down on the couch and pushes her shoes out of the way.

As much as she loves him, she's seriously not in a state to talk about this now "Deeks, seriously, we just got home. I need to sit for a second" she smells below her armpits and makes a funny face "And apparently a shower too" she finishes.

Deeks shakes his head. He knows what she's doing "And after the shower there's food and then there's some TV show you just HAVE to see and after that it's time for bed and you count on me having forgotten about it"

"Deeks" Kensi warns. She knows she's the queen of deflecting but so is Deeks. But, unlike her, Deeks can be a pit-bull when he wants something. Sinking his teeth in deep and not letting go until it's resolved. And it's apparent he wants this, bad.

"What? This apparently isn't as important of a discussion to you as it is to me"

Deeks looks so forlorn when he speaks that she almost gives in, but she knows that she needs to gets her thoughts in order before they talk "That's a low blow and you know it. I'm tired and sweaty, I just need a shower. You take care of the food and we can talk about it during dinner okay?"

"Fine" Deeks relents. Knowing that pushing her any further isn't going to help his cause.

She takes as long as she can in the shower, not because she wants to drag out the inevitable talk any longer than she needs to, but because she needs to figure out a way to tell him.
They'd talked about having kids, little ninja assassins, but they never really talked about having them together.
Deeks had joked about it over the years and as much as she wished it did, the thought of a ruggedly handsome, strong willed, little ninja with his blond hair and her trademark mismatched eyes didn't scare her as much as it used to.
Her entire life she never really thought about having kids, she never really liked the idea of kids until she saw how good her partner was with them. So, when he asked her about kids about a year ago she'd told him that it was highly unlikely she'd ever get pregnant doing what she does for a living and she had really meant it at the time. She had seen how dark and gloom the world was becoming and she had no desire whatsoever to bring a child into that.
But things change, Kensi had changed, Deeks and Kensi had changed together and suddenly the thought of little ninja's hadn't scared her half as much as it used to.

"Kens, food's ready" Deeks' voice shakes her out of her thoughts and she suddenly becomes aware of the eerily cold water she's been standing under for a little while.

Turning of the shower head she steps out of the shower and quickly wraps herself in a towel "I'll be out in a minute" she sighed. Kensi had hoped that the shower would have cleared the cobwebs that clouded her thoughts but apparently it had only managed to get her more nervous. Brushing her hands over the mirror, she looks at herself. "Get it together Kens" she internally berated herself before heading towards the bedroom.

"Kens, what's wrong? You love my spaghetti and meatballs and you've barely touched it today" Deeks asks. He had been looking at Kensi for a little while before he decided to speak up. She seemed extremely tense and that bothered him

Kensi looked at him apologetically "Not that hungry I guess" she admits, taking a tiny bite from her plate.

"Is it bothering you THAT much?" Deeks suddenly asks, casting his eyes down, unable to look at her. He knew that having the talk wasn't going to be easy for them but he didn't know it was going to become such a sore topic.

A whirlwind of emotions coursed through Kensi's body. Joy, sadness, fear, a shiver of anger but mostly confusion "What?" she asks

"That I want kids and you don't?" Deeks explains, eyeing her sadly.

The pang in her heart told her that she was the one who was causing him all this sadness, and she hated it "No Deeks, No. That's not it. I promise" she said, trying to comfort him.

Deeks was lost; he really didn't know what was going on in Kensi's mind. He had always pride himself on the fact that he was able to read her without any problem. Right now though, he had no idea where her head was at, and it bothered him to no extent "Then what?" he asked, a little more angered than he intended, his own frustration seeping through

"I – "she stuttered, clearly nervous "I don't know how to start" Kensi admitted.
Her whole body tensed up, and she sighed deeply

He eyes her carefully, two big marbles shining back at him with uncertainty, one dark chocolate, the other light like chestnut "Start what?" he asks

Kensi sighs "Are you sure you want it?" she asks, lowering her head. But he puts his finger under her chin and makes her look him in the eyes "Kids I mean" she bites her lower lip

"Yes" he says smiling, determination lacing his voice.

"And you're sure you want them with me? Kensi Blye, kid hater extraordinaire?"She asks, surprised by the disappointment she feels if he said no.

"You're not that person anymore" he says calmly "yes, with you"

"But how do you see us doing that?"

"What do you mean?"He asks, carefully eyeing her as uncertainty fills her features. He puts his hands in front of him on the table, praying she'll do the same.

Kensi takes a couple minutes to put her thoughts in order before speaking "You love your job, right?" She finally asks, putting her own hands in front of her.

Deeks doesn't hesitate and reaches out "Off course I do, but not as much as I love you" he answers calmly, their hands now joined together on the table

"You plan on quitting and becoming a stay at home dad while mom runs around town chasing bad guys with a new partner?" she says. Her tone might be joking but Deeks knows she's serious, so he thinks long and hard before answering "Uhm" is all he manages to say before she continues "Didn't think so. So how do you see it happening?"

Eyeing his partner carefully he sighs, "I didn't really think about it that far ahead yet. I just wanted to know if the notion of us having kids was in your thoughts eventually" he admits.

"Once again I ask, how do you see it happening Deeks?" she sighs tiredly, forgetting every other thought that previously occupies her mind.

Deeks eyes her, uncertainty etched on his features "I don't know"
He takes a couple minutes to get his thoughts in order "I mean, when you get pregnant I'm pretty sure you'll be confined to a desk pretty much at least half of your pregnancy"

"They'll probably give me a new partner or let me tag along with Callen and Sam. You'll probably want to go back to work soon after giving birth and we'd probably share a partner? I don't know, like divide our time between baby and work or whatever?" he finishes, his answer showing Kensi that he didn't really put any thought into it yet.

Kensi smiles timidly, "You do realize our entire dynamic would change"

He frowns, "What do you mean?"

"We've been Kensi and Deeks, Deeks and Kensi for over five years now and a baby is going to change our whole lives. We wouldn't be working together anymore, at least not nearly as much as we used to AND we won't be seeing each other as much as we do now. It's going to change everything, Deeks. EVERYTHING!" She says, trying to get her point across.

"But is that a reason not to have them?" The softness of his voice surprises her and she takes a minute to ponder the question "I don't know, you tell me" she eventually says

Deeks squeezes her hands, smiling up at her "Things changing isn't necessarily a bad thing. I would be fine with us splitting our job if it meant you'd consider having kids with me" he tries to explain. He feels that they're on a crossroads in their relationship. Not that he would ever leave her but it would most definitely take a lot out of him if she'd told him she never wants kids. It would mean a lot of adapting on his part, and he would do it, because he loves her, but it wouldn't be easy. Deeks had always considered him becoming a dad in due time and if that would be taken away from him, it would be a blow he needed some time to recover from.

"It wouldn't be easy. We would have less money; we'd have to move" She looks at him, eyes challenging him.

"Hold up. Move?" Deeks finally manages to croak out. He looks around the kitchen and living room and has to swallow back the thought of leaving the house that has brought him so much joy.
This is where they had spent so much time together, as friends, as partners, and finally as so much more. This is where he admitted their partnership was a love story, this is where they first made love, this is where he finally admitted to himself that Kensi Blye was the only woman he needed by his side for the rest of his life and this is where they started to build that life, together.

"There's no way I'm raising a kid in a house without a backyard" Kensi explains. Eyeing him wearily, hoping that her statement resonated.

She can see the wheels turning in his head, processing her words, before he speaks "So you have thought about it" he finally breathes out, smiling

"I did"

"And?" Deeks eyes lock with hers and he searches them expectantly

"And I am" Kensi answers, determination lacing her voice. She smiles when she sees the confusion on his face; sometimes it's so entertaining to see how little effort she has to put into flustering him.

"Am what? Ready? Willing?" he asks in disbelief. It's been a while since they've been talking in metaphors and he's a little rusty on the meaning of it all.

Kensi takes a beat, considering this the now or never moment, she puts on her biggest smile, squeezes his hands and breathes

"No" she finally says, heart beating loudly in her chest "Pregnant"

A/N Dun, dun, dun. How's THAT for a cliffhanger?
Sorry guys I can't help it, this just happened to be the best point to end this chapter.
You know what makes for happy writers right? Recognition? Correct! So, don't be afraid to put this story in your favorite/follow list or leave a review.

Thanks for reading and I'll be here next Sunday, how about you?