Hey guys! Sorry for the delay in the chapter, but here it is for you to enjoy. Thanks for taking the time to read and PLEASE take another moment and let me know what you think!
Kerrianne watched, eyes wide, as her mother followed her father from the room. She looked down at the tiny baby that her Ma had placed in her arms, the one who could possibly become her brother. Even she had to admit that he was cute. He looked just like Paddy, and that stung a little bit. Paddy had been a fantastic cousin, always fun and loving, her only link to her father for years and years. She missed him dearly. Kerrianne couldn't even imagine how Maeve was feeling.
Kerrianne looked up at the other girl, and saw nothing but panic on her face. Mr. McCormick was trying to comfort her, but it didn't look as though it was working. She didn't know Maeve very well. Being two years behind her in school, they didn't have much interaction, but when Maeve started dating Paddy, she and Kerrianne got to know each other a bit. The older girl had always been kind, had never complained about having to hang out with a younger tagalong. Kerrianne liked her.
"Hey Mae," Kerrianne smiled, taking a seat in the the chair by the bedside, careful not to wake the baby. "Listen, everything will be alright. My Ma will get my Da to see reason, she's really good at that."
"He said no," Maeve mumbled, still shocked. "Just 'no'. How could he say no? I thought that he loved Padraic."
"He did," Kerrianne cut in sharply, quickly coming to the defense of her father. "He loved Paddy. He's just hurting, and he has a lot of things coming at him right now. Once he gets a chance to calm down and think a little bit, he will change his mind."
"You really think so?" Maeve wondered, looking hopefully at Kerrianne.
She couldn't exactly tell the girl that she had no idea whether or not her Da would change his mind, agree to take this baby home and raise it as his own. Honesty would do her no good in this situation, and besides, she had a good feeling. She shrugged, "Yeah, I really do."
"Filip is a good man, Maeve," McCormick spoke up. "He is a bit lost right now and has a lot to think about, but he will do the right thing."
"You shouldn't have sprung this on him," Kerrianne narrowed her eyes at the man. "He should have known earlier. Nobody likes surprises, not this kind anyway!"
McCormick had the decency to look ashamed. "I realize that now, a bit too late, as it turns out. Listen, my dear, just have faith. Things will work out. I am going to go speak with the young doctor. I think our new arrival will need some food soon."
The man exited the room, leaving Kerrianne alone with Maeve and a tiny baby. Not long ago, she would have felt incredibly awkward by this fact, but in the past several months, her entire life had been flipped upside down. She had been held captive, shot at, and nearly abducted. She had lost a cousin, and gained her father. Her house had been burned down, leaving her and her Ma to make a new home in America. These days, it would take a lot more than a baby and a scared girl to unnerve Kerrianne.
"Mae, he really is a cute baby," Kerrianne murmured.
"Who does he look like?" the other girl wondered. "Everyone is telling me he's cute and all, but I know you'll tell me the truth. Does he look like me, or does he look like Paddy?"
Kerri glanced down at the wee baby she held. Honestly, to her, the boy just looked like a baby. Small, wrinkly, pink skin, dark hair. She doubted that was what Maeve wanted to hear, though. Instead, she shrugged. "I'm not sure, to be honest. I think it's a bit too soon to tell."
They were both quiet for a moment, but a moment was all it took. Kerrianne sighed heavily, and continued speaking. "Maeve, why don't you just hold him? Whether you plan on keeping him or not, he's still your son. I have known you for awhile now, and that doesn't seem like you. I understand that you don't want to keep him, I wouldn't be able to either, but don't you at least want to hold him? To see his face? To know him at all?"
"No," came the immediate reply. "I can't. I'm...I'm afraid."
"Afraid? Of a little baby?" Kerrianne asked, the disbelief evident in her voice.
"I'm afraid that he looks like his father," Maeve clarified. "And I just….I don't know if...I don't know if I can look at him."
There were tears on Maeve's cheeks again, and Kerrianne instantly felt guilty for bringing up the subject at all. She hadn't meant to upset her, and perhaps she should have known better than to stir up something so obviously painful. She swiftly and carefully stood and retrieved some tissues from the dresser across the room, offering an apologetic smile as she handed them to Maeve.
"Thanks," Maeve muttered with an almost believable smile, taking the tissues and wiping at her eyes. "Sorry. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to come here and mess everything up for your family, you know? After Paddy...after he was gone, I went to the guys at SAMBEL, and before I knew it, David was involved. He told me that he would help me, that he would make sure the baby was taken care of. I assumed that he meant adoption; I have heard rumors about the Catholics. I know that they are kind of big on that. I got myself accustomed to the idea. It was easier that way. You may think I am crazy, but the thought that I could just put all of this behind me and forget about it...well, that was comforting to me. I thought that it would be easy, that just getting on with my life would make everything hurt less. I am sure that it makes me sound like a horrible person, but I just wanted to act normal for awhile, you know? Just be a girl, and not a pregnant girl with a dead boyfriend. I didn't expect that you or your family would be affected. It wasn't until I got a call saying I needed to go to California that I realized what he had in mind. And I was really glad. The whole plane ride over here, I was happy. I knew that Paddy….he loved your Da and he loved you and David told me that you had a good family. The idea of this little baby being brought up by Paddy's family made me feel….better. Less guilty about the whole thing. I didn't know that he hadn't told you guys about the baby. I didn't know that Paddy hadn't told you guys! I don't want to mess anything up, but I really want him to be taken care of, you know? I just...I wish so much that this, that everything, had gone differently. I wish that everybody had gotten time to deal with things and not be surprised by this. I wish that my baby had a family who really wanted him."
"I know," Kerrianne reached out and squeezed her hand.
"We may surprise you yet," Fiona spoke up from the doorway.
"Ma!" Kerrianne exclaimed in relief. She had been beginning to worry. "Where is Da?"
"Don't you worry, my girl," Fiona smiled, smoothing her hand over Kerrianne's head. "He's just out for a bit, clearing his head."
"I am really, really sorry," Maeve stated again, her lower lip beginning to tremble.
"Hush now, dear," Fiona instructed, as she moved to take Maeve by the hand. "You have nothing to be sorry for. In fact, I am the one who is sorry. We should have been better prepared for this. David McCormick didn't quite know any better, but my Filip doesn't always handle surprises well." She glanced at Kerrianne. "Remind me to tell you sometime about the birthday party disaster of 1996."
"He said he doesn't want the baby," Maeve reminded them, in a quiet voice.
"I know he did," Fiona explained. "He was….very much thrown by Padraic's death. Filip was his godfather, as well as his uncle, did you know that? He felt like it was his job to protect the boy, and he feels like he failed completely. And now, he has another chance, with another boy, and he is afraid of history repeating itself."
"But you're not?" Maeve wondered, glad that somebody was speaking honestly with her.
"No, I'm not," Fiona smiled at the girl. "He blames himself, of course, but none of what happened is Filip's fault. He is the best man I know; he'll do what's right, in the end. He just needs to calm down a little bit. He'll be back."
"I hope you're right," Maeve yawned.
"I am," Fiona told her. "Now, Kerrianne, why don't you take the wee boy into the other room. Tara wants to weigh him and look him over. Some of the others have gone to get food and supplies for him-"
"Yeah, I hope that includes diapers, because I didn't want to say anything, but I am pretty sure that he peed on me," Kerrianne admitted.
"I'm sure you will live," Fiona smirked, sure that it wouldn't be the last time the child peed on somebody. "Maeve, you need your rest. It's getting late, and you've been through quite a bit today. Don't worry about a thing, my dear. We will take care of him while you rest. Thing will look better in the morning."
Maeve managed a weak smile. "Thank you. Both of you."
"Nothing to thank me for," Kerrianne called over her shoulder as she left the room, followed by her mother.
Maeve let out a sigh, and closed her tired eyes. She rolled over and attempted, in vain, to make herself comfortable in an uncomfortable bed, sure that sleep would never find her.
Hours later found Fiona, Kerrianne, Tess, Kozik, Tara and Opie lounging around on the couch while Fiona gently bottle fed the baby for the third time and tried to coax him back to sleep. McCormick had gone for the night, after being assured that they would all look after Maeve and the baby until he returned in the morning. The Prospects had been dispatched to retrieve food, diapers, clothing, and other baby essentials, and upon returning, declared that they were never having children. Tara, figuring that she should stay with the newborn child and the girl who had just given birth, had asked a delighted Gemma to care for Abel for the evening. It was only a small group that remained.
"I think he looks like Chibs," Opie mentioned, glancing at the tiny child, who did look remarkably like his great uncle.
"Don't let him hear you say that," Kerrianne cracked, humorlessly. Her Ma insisted that he would be fine, but it worried Kerrianne that her Da was not here.
"He certainly is a Telford," Fiona smiled down at the boy.
"Do you think that you guys really will keep him?" Tara wondered aloud, recalling Chibs reaction to the boy. Despite that, looking at Fiona and Kerrianne, who clearly already doted on the baby, it seemed as though neither of them would willingly let the kid out of their sight.
"Yes," Kerrianne immediately answered the question.
Fiona rolled her eyes, but her face held a knowing smile when she casually replied, "We'll figure it out once Filip gets back."
"I hope you do keep," Tess declared with a smile.
"You only say that because if they do, you'll claim top spot as babysitter," Kozik accused lightheartedly.
"Well, duh," Tess elbowed him. "What, did you think you were going to get to babysit?"
"I think," Fiona interrupted the developing banter. "That he is finally asleep. I am going to try to put him down, and then I think we should all get some rest."
Nobody was willing to argue with her; they were all desperately tired. Since Chibs was off on his own for the night, Fiona had decided that she and Kerrianne would stay there, in case the baby needed anything. Tara was staying as well, knowing that her medical expertise might be called on. Opie wasn't about to leave the women alone in the Clubhouse for the night, knowing that if something happened, his head would be on the block, so he had decided to stay as well. Kozik had insisted upon going home, desperately craving a long shower and knowing that Tess was more worn out than she would admit. He had promised her that they would be back tomorrow, and she would likely get to hold the baby again. Fiona carefully laid the baby, still nameless, into the cradle Tara had temporarily borrowed from Abel's room, thankful that he didn't stir at all.
"I guess we should head out," Kozik said as he stood, helping Tess to her feet as well. "I've got my phone with me. Call if you guys need anything at all. I will bring breakfast in the morning."
"From the good donut place," Tess added as they made their way towards the door.
Leaving the baby under the watchful eyes of Opie and Tara, Fiona lead Kerrianne down to the hall, to Filip's old dorm room. It didn't take any convincing at all to get Kerrianne into bed, and she hardly complained that she was too old to be tucked in by her mother. It wasn't until Fiona was leaving, old afghan tucked under her arm, that Kerrianne made any noise at all.
"Ma," she spoke up tiredly, drawing her mother back towards the bed. "You're sure that Da is alright? It's really late….well, early. Shouldn't he be back by now?"
"Da is fine, darling," Fiona assured her daughter, not for the first time. "You heard Opie. He probably went over to the Wahewa land. It's quiet and open out there. He'll be able to clear his head a bit. He'll be back in the morning."
Kerrianne offered her mother a tired smile, having no choice but to believe her. Fiona kissed her daughter's head and left the room, certain that Kerrianne was sound asleep before the door even closed. Fiona checked in on Maeve, whose even, steady breathing indicated sleep. Comforted by that fact, she silently closed the door and continued on.
Tara was settled on the couch when she made her way back to the main room. Tara nodded towards the plush recliner. "I left the chair for you."
"Thank you," Fiona replied as she reclined the chair and tucked the blanket around her.
"Opie went to bed," Tara reported. "He said to tell you that if Chibs isn't back by the time he wakes up, then he will go on the hunt himself."
"He'll be back," Fiona told the doctor, and her own nagging conscience. "We just need to go to sleep, and ensure that the world doesn't go to hell while he's gone."
"No promises," Tara said, her voice thick with sleep.
Fiona had a smile on her face as she drifted off to sleep.
It was after four in the morning when Maeve woke up with a dry mouth and an overwhelming urge to pee. She blindly searched for the lamp on the bedside table and was miraculously able to actually turn it on. Her room was empty, but he noted that somebody, probably McCormick, had brought her her dufflebag that she had come to the States with. Knowing that there would be clean clothes in there, she managed to stand up and drag it closer. It surprised Maeve that she was able to move around so easily. Yes, she was most definitely sore from giving birth, but it didn't prevent her from digging through her bag, pulling out a change of clean clothes, and walking to the bathroom.
After using the bathroom, she decided on a quick shower, freely using the shampoo that smelled of pine trees and the soap that smelled of even stronger pine tree. After pulling on loose fitting yoga pants and a t-shirt, Maeve took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. hings were certainly not looking better for her this morning. Right now, she was in between a rock and a hard place. She was here, in the middle of some biker paradise in California. She had given birth to a baby that she was supposed to be handing over to family, except there was a possibility that the family didn't actually want the baby. She wondered how much longer she would be staying here. Mr. McCormick had told her that she only had to stay until she gave birth, but she somehow doubted that was the case anymore. Maeve had this sinking feeling that, the longer she stayed here, the more difficult and tense things would get.
That's when it hit her; she didn't actually have to stay here. There was nothing whatsoever keeping her here. She had done what she said she would do. She had given birth, and whatever happened now was McCormick's problem, not hers. She shook her head. Even in her own brain, she knew she sounded like a bitch. It wasn't that she didn't care for the baby. She most definitely did. Maeve knew that the longer she hung around, the harder things would become. She had her passport in her bag and more than enough money on her card to get her home, or literally anywhere else in the world she wanted to go. Her being here was doing nobody any good. If anything, it was making it easier for Paddy's uncle to resist. Maybe if she was gone, if he could really see that the baby had literally nobody else in the world, maybe then he would say yes.
Her mind was made up the second the thought crossed her brain. She cupped her palms and gathered enough water in her hands to drink several gulps. At least she wasn't thirsty anymore, though she did wonder if she could possibly find a bottle of water somewhere in the kitchen. She sat back on the bed and found the sneakers she had arrived in. She shoved her feet into them, and made sure the rest of the things she would need were packed securely in her duffel. Maeve made her way to the door, knowing that this part would be the hardest.
Maeve said a silent prayer to whoever was listening as she left the room. Hopefully, after an eventful day yesterday, it would be far too early for anybody to be awake. She was thankful to find a kitchen before she got too far, and did indeed find a few bottles of water and a box of granola bars. Shoving them in her bag, she tiptoed to the other room. This would be her most difficult task.
Sleeping in the armchair was Fiona, Kerrianne's mother. On the couch next to her was the doctor who had helped her give birth. However halfway between each piece of furniture was a small bassinet. Maeve knew who she would find in there, and that thought paralyzed her for a moment. She remembered what Kerrianne had said, about how she should at least see the baby. Could she really walk out of here and leave him behind, never having seen his face? No, she really couldn't.
Maeve silently made her way to the white cradle and braced herself as she peeked in. Right in the middle of the bed he slept, her son, green hat covering dark hair and a blue blanket tucked around his sleeping body. This was the child she had carried for nine month. This was her child. This was Padraic's child. Kerrianne had clearly been lying when she said that she couldn't tell who the baby looked like. Gazing upon his tiny face, it was perfectly obvious who the boy's father was.
It didn't hurt quite like she thought it would, though it was still more painful than the actual giving birth had been. She could see it, exactly what her life would have been like if Paddy hadn't died. This boy would be sound asleep in a cheaper cradle in the corner of the bedroom in their tiny apartment. She would be nervous every time her cried, but Paddy would have been there to hold her and tell her that she was doing a good job. It wouldn't have been an easy life, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it would have been a happy life.
Just as easily as she had pictured that life, she pictured it washed away. None of that would be possible, not now. She was no longer afraid to admit it, but Maeve loved this baby, loved Padraic's son. She wanted to give him the best life she possibly could, and she knew that that meant a life away from her. Hopefully, his uncle would agree to raise him, and he would grow up with Kerrianne for a sister, and Fiona for a mother. That didn't sound like a bad life for any kid. But if it didn't work out that way, she knew that McCormick would ensure he had a good family, and a good home. That was all she could ask for.
As if acting on instinct, Maeve reached down and ran a thumb across the sleeping baby's cheek, the same placed she used to caress his father. The touch of her finger across his soft skin had the baby sighing in his sleep, but thankfully, he didn't wake. She felt like she should say something, but in her state, she knew that words would fail her. Instead, she just mustered up a silent prayer and wished the world for this little boy.
Her decision firm in her mind, she left the slumbering women and baby behind as she made her way out the door. The air was cool, but not cold. She vaguely wondered which was she would need to go to find a cab or a bus station, before deciding that it really didn't matter much. She crossed the empty lot and fit through the gap in the chain locked fence, deciding instantly to head east, in the direction of the rising sun.