Chapter Eight: In The Spotlight
Rick chuckled at how neatly Kate maneuvered him. If she'd told him not to go, his basic contrary nature would have made stop at the diner but she asked nicely. He would honor her wishes. He's sure that he doesn't like this level of bossiness that Kate is displaying right now but he understands it. She's still afraid and he is aware that he doesn't take good care of himself except in keeping physically fit. Maybe too much so in that department.
Yesterday while Kate was at work he'd spent three hours in the gym. Pushing himself much harder than he should have. His leg was giving him hell and he'd had to exert all his self- control not to let Kate see it. Sometimes at night or when he's over-tired all his scars ache and he can't sleep. Sometimes he awakes so stiff and sore that he has to force himself to move fighting through the pain by sheer will power. He tries to adhere to the mantra "pain is weakness leaving the body" but sometimes it's more than he can do.
Rick sighs. He knows that he's going to have to talk with Kate about the bossiness. Despite his training in leadership and command he doesn't want to be the boss either. He wants this relationship to work but if it does they're going to have to adjust their thinking. Both of them are independent and both used to being in charge. They'll both have to compromise. The therapy for instance. He didn't like to be told to get a therapist but realizes he needs one. He'll give that to her since he knows that witnessing his PTSD episode scared the hell out of her and most women would have let the paramedics take him. Not Kate. Scared or not she dealt with it and was there to comfort him when he woke up.
She loves him more than anyone ever has. Perhaps more than his mother does. For that he can make allowances. But boundaries must still be set. Having determined that he relaxed and the contrariness took over. He'd done what she asked but she didn't say anything about lunch so steak, eggs(normal amount) hash browns and toast sounded like a great lunch.
He ran a few errands then indulged in the steak and eggs. There was almost the feeling that he used to get as a teen-ager when he did something that wasn't wrong in and of itself but was something his mother didn't want him to do. He knew that it was absurd but it was there and it amused him. He was one of those men who had no trouble laughing at himself.
His good mood lasted until he got to the loft and received a letter from Department of the Army reminding him that he had to schedule an appointment with a career counselor at Fort Drum. His physical and psychological profile indicated that he should consider withdrawing from Special Forces and assignment to a staff position. That depressed him, although it would make it easier to stay in the Army and still provide a stable life for Kate and Lisa. He was still a little down when he picked up Kate and she sensed it right away. She placed her hand on his leg and said; "What's the matter Babe? And don't tell me that nothing is. I know most of your tells. The army hasn't changed you that much."
He looked away and said; "It feels like I don't measure up anymore." She looked concerned. "What are you talking about?" "What are you talking about, not measuring up?"
He looks at her sadness in his eyes. I received a letter from DA telling me that I have to meet with a career counselor. The army wants me to withdraw from Special Forces, possibly even combat arms. Kate, I want to marry you and build a life but I am a soldier. I don't want to leave the Army. I know that there are other career options for me but a good part of my writing inspiration comes from my connection with my fellow soldiers."
She gently rubs his leg where her hand rests. "Let's go home and talk about this." She's thinking hard on the way home, getting her thoughts in order. At her apartment they greet Lisa, who again demands kisses from both of them. Kate sits down on the couch and lifts Lisa into her lap.
"Lisa do you want to go see Nana and Papa and eat with them? Rick and I will pick you up after supper." "Mommy will Rick tell me a story later?" "I Shure will Lisa." Rick answered before Kate could." "Okay Mommy." Kate smiled at the little girl. She was such an agreeable child.
"Rick would you mind ordering Chinese or Italian food while I take Lisa to Mom? There are some take out menus in the top left kitchen drawer." Rick took out the menus and looked them over. Not sure which one he wanted, he ordered both. What they didn't eat tonight could be eaten tomorrow. Kate's timing was perfect, the food arrived two minutes after she walked in the door.
She opted for Chinese and they ate quickly. Finishing, she tossed the empty cartons in the trash along with the paper plates. She walked over to the couch and curled up next to Rick. She placed a hand on his cheek and said; "Remember what you said to Mr. Johnston? It applies to you just as much. Babe you've done more than your share, risked more than most men, bled more than most men. Babe I really want you to leave the Army but if you don't you'd make a great teacher.
Teach other men your skills. You're not diminished because your body has reached its limits. Everyone has his or her limits. I have a friend, a detective. He was Special Forces. He reached his limits and left the Army completely. No one thinks less of him for that. As I said I want you to leave the Army but I also know that these past few days have convinced me that in the end if you can't bring yourself to do it it's not a deal breaker. As it says in Ruth: Wither thou go I shall go. But please, get out of combat arms. I want a live husband not an aching memory."
Rick pulled her in and kissed her. "I'll make an initial appointment on Wednesday. Do you want to go with me? Then the counselor can get input from both of us. We'll schedule a follow-up the following week and see what the Army offers me." Kate smiled at that, her eyes going soft. "Of course I want to go with you."
Rick said; "There's one more thing Sweetheart. I know that you've done it out of love and concern but you can't go on telling we what to do or what I can or can't do. If this is going to work we have to be equal partners. That's one of the reasons I want you to go with me to the counselor. That's the kind of decision that will have a major impact on our lives. It must be something we're both happy with." She shifted until she was looking straight into his eyes. "As I said this morning I don't want to be bossy. So bear with me. I'll get back on an even keel."
They picked up Lisa, Rick told her a story and they put her to bed. Rick told Kate that he was headed back to his loft. He needed fresh clothes and a little time to himself. Kate didn't like it and pouted a little but finally kissed him goodnight.
Kate sat up in bed and looked at her bedside clock. One AM. Damn it, she'd only spent four nights sleeping next to Rick and she was already missing him and unable to sleep. She went to the medicine cabinet and got two over the counter sleep aids. She took them and went back to bed, waiting for them to work. As she lay there she mused. I never had it this bad before. Even with Will, if he wasn't there I had no trouble sleeping. There's only one solution to the problem. I have to make sure that he wants to be in my bed every night for the rest of our lives and I know just how to do that. With that thought in mind she drifted off to sleep and experienced a very vivid rendition of the dream she related to her mother.
It was a beautiful dream. She was lying on a chaise lounge on a warm afternoon watching her husband play with two of their children. They were somewhere just out of the city probably on Long Island. The house wasn't large, neither was it small built in the colonial style, white with green trim. While the house wasn't large, the lot was. A full half acre lots of grass and trees scattered around. Lisa brought her a glass of iced tea and a plate of cookies. "Just out of the oven mom." Lisa was about thirteen in her dream.
When she awoke, the dream was still with her and a soft smile adorned her face as she got out of bed and walked into Lisa's room, standing there watching her sleep and picturing her as she had been in her dream. She left the room went into the bathroom and prepared for the day then fixed breakfast for the two of them. She got Lisa up and dressed and carried her out to the kitchen. She was completely floored when her daughter said plaintively; " No Rick?"
"No Baby Rick had to go home to sleep but he'll be here in a few minutes." Lisa perked up. "See Rick?" Kate smiled. "Yes Baby see Rick." Kate was elated yet found it hard to believe that her daughter could have bonded with Rick in only two days but the evidence was right in front of her eyes. Kate knew that she had to make the future she wanted happen much sooner rather than later. She was ready to take a leap of faith she prayed that Rick would take it with her.
The doorbell rang precisely on time. Kate walked to the door and opened it. Rick was in uniform again. He kissed Kate then bent down and picked up Lisa when she said; "Kiss Rick." Rick kissed the little girl then set her down. "I'll see you tonight Lisa." They walked down to the car. This time Rick had brought his 57 Chevy. Kate's eyes widened as she saw the perfectly restored station wagon. It even had vintage license plates. She grinned. That was something Rick didn't know about Kate. She had a nostalgic bent too and liked the old cars and classic rock and roll.
She especially liked the bench seat in the Nomad. She slid right over and snuggled into Rick's side. She looked up at him and asked; "Why are you in uniform Babe?" He grimaced. "Another damn publicity shoot and then a lunch with the producers. I wish I'd never agreed to all this and just stayed in the background."
Kate rolled her eyes. "And if you'd done that we might not have reconnected and then where would we be? No Babe as much as the publicity annoys you the decision was the right one. When we get to the office will you come up with me? I want you to meet some of my co-workers." Rick smiled at her and nodded.
"I'll come up, it gives me a few more minutes with you and maybe I can get a couple of interesting stories on you." She grinned and smacked him lightly. "Don't you dare." When they pulled into the guarded parking lot Kate leaned over and said to the guard; "Bill this is my friend Rick. He'll be coming up with me for a little while. He'll be using my spot." The guard smiled and nodded. "Sure thing Ms. Beckett. I'll even keep an eye on his car. That things a beauty. I always wanted a 57' Chevy."
Walking into the office Kate called out; "Gabby, Charley, Wendy, come over here and meet my boyfriend." All three were friends with Kate. Gabby and Charley having gone to school with her. They all knew how badly Kate's previous relationships had gone and were excited for her in finding a new one. None of them knew that it wasn't really new. Gabrielle Ramirez was a voluptuous Latina with shining dark hair and laughing eyes. She often used her appearance to distract opponents. Behind that innocent looking face lay a razor sharp mind.
Charley Collins was a lanky redhead with a weird accent that combined an Irish brogue with a southern drawl. Not much of a litigator he spent most of his time in researching precedents and preparing cases. Wendy Taylor was a transplanted Londoner. A petite blue-eyed blonde married to a doctor she was the newest member of the staff. Kate's eyes were sparkling and she was grinning like the Cheshire cat.
"Gabby, Charley, Wendy I'd like you to meet Richard Rodgers. Rick, these are my friends Gabby Ramirez, Charley Collins and Wendy Taylor." Rick smiled and shook hands with the three of them, exchanging pleasantries. Gabby was eyeing Rick thoughtfully. Kate had told her a synopsis of their story as promised. She had known Kate since their junior year in high school but had not known about Rick until the other day. She was surprised that Kate had kept that from her. She, Kate and Maddie had run around together in their junior and senior years. She sincerely hoped that Kate was right, that this was the one.
Monica Sartell was not one of Kate's admirers. In fact, the two women despised each other. Kate was the better lawyer and had far more wins than Monica. And won them on merit. Monica was a schemer and not above using her body to get what she wanted. Monica sauntered and in a falsely sweet voice said; " And who's the hunk, Katie, aren't you going to introduce me?"
Monica was as tall as Kate, a strawberry blonde with a very curvy figure. Her clothing was right on the edge of what was acceptable business attire. The skirt was a proper charcoal gray but ended four inches above her knees The blouse was silvery-gray with a vee-neck exposing a generous amount of cleavage
Kate glared. "Not on your life, Monica. I only introduce Rick to my friends." Monica sauntered over and brazenly ran her hand across Rick's chest. "I can see why you wouldn't want to introduce this handsome soldier to me. You're not woman enough to keep him."
Monica smiled up at Rick and reached up to caress his cheek but his hand flashed out and snagged her wrist. His eyes were as cold as ice.
"Don't try that again. Kate is my lady and I've got news for you. Real women are far sexier than cheap imitations. Kate is real."
Monica recoiled in shock. She wasn't used to any man being immune to her charms. She glared at both Kate and Rick then stalked off, humiliated by Gabby and Wendy's laughter.
Rick kissed Kate and said; "I'll see you tonight. He smiled at Kate's friends. It was nice meeting you all." Kate left at noon, skipped lunch and went to a small specialty jeweler. She found exactly what she wanted and purchased it. Smiling as she put it in her purse and visualized what she was going to do with it.
It was an annoyingly long day for Rick. It seemed that the photographers wanted every possible uniform combination they could get from class B service uniform to full ACU's with helmet. He was thoroughly stressed when he picked Kate up. She instantly sensed his mood. Putting a hand on his leg she said; "Did you bring a change of clothes so that you can stay overnight? I want you with me tonight." He nodded, merely saying yes but not elaborating.
"She squeezed his leg. "I'll order Chinese food so I don't have to cook. Will you please take a hot bath when we get home and let me give you a massage?" Rick didn't miss the we and home in her speech pattern and realized that he was thinking the same way. they were moving forward very quickly. Was it too quick? Somehow it didn't feel as if it was. It just felt right.
Entering her apartment they were met by the tiny whirlwind that was Lisa but instead of running directly to her mother she went between the two adults and hugged a leg of each. Kate laughed and picked Lisa up, getting and receiving a kiss then handing her to Rick when she held out her arms to him. Rick kissed her and started to set her down but she said a sharp "No!" and held on to his neck. Rick laughed and felt the stress of the day begin to fade.
Lisa Dawn Beckett wanted a daddy. Everyone she knew had a daddy. Rick was nice to her, he told her stories. Her mommy's other friends didn't tell her stories or bring her Emily. Mommy kissed Rick so she must love him like Nana loved Papa. She wanted a daddy, she wanted Rick to be her daddy. Lisa had inherited the full measure of her mother's determination and stubbornness she, like her mother would get what she wanted.
"Lisa, Rick needs to change his clothes so come to me now." Kate was trying her best to hide her amusement behind a stern expression. Lisa reluctantly let go of Rick's neck and went to Kate. Kate said; " Lisa, Rick needs to take a bath before dinner so why don't you watch television for a little while." Kate put a disc into the player and went to draw a bath for Rick. He sauntered into the bathroom. "I seem to spend a lot of time in your bathroom lately." She grinned and ran a hand over his chest. "Yes you do and I like what comes after you do. I'll give you that massage after we put Lisa to bed."
Rick soaked in the tub for half an hour then got out and dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a picture of an airborne trooper on the front with the caption: I don't care how many sky-dives you've had Until you jump out of the door of an airplane in total darkness, at twelve hundred and fifty feet wearing ninety-five pounds of equipment and forty-two pounds of parachute, you're still a leg. Kate took one look at the t-shirt and blanched. She turned away but not before Rick saw the tears start. Rick quickly stepped to her side.
"Kate what's wrong?" She half turned and buried her face in his neck. "It's that damned t-shirt, she sobbed. It scares me, it reminds me how close I came to losing you forever and not even knowing it." He tipped her face up and kissed her. "It's okay Kate, I won't be jumping anymore and I have another t-shirt in my bag. I'll change it. He went into the bedroom, stripped off the t-shirt and stuffed it back in the bag, putting on a plain white one. He came back out and found Kate on the couch still sniffling a little. He sat down and pulled her into his arms.
She nuzzled against his neck, her voice catching a little, she said; "I don't mean to be such a cry-baby but it's never real, you know? You see the reports on TV, the pictures of the flag draped coffins and it doesn't really hit home till it's someone you love that might be there. I lost you for ten years. I have you back and the thought of ever losing you again terrifies me. I can't lose you again. I won't survive. She had intended to wait till after dinner and in a romantic setting. She'd bought candles and wine but she couldn't wait any longer.
She got up, went to her purse and got a small bag out of it. She came back and sat down again. Her voice was tremulous and her eyes soft, slightly gleaming with the remnant of her tears. "Rick, I've loved you since I was ten years old. Most people would say that I was too young to know but I did know. I knew it then, I know it now. I know that our love was blurred and sidetracked but it has never been erased. Some people would say that it's too soon, that we've only been together a few days. They are wrong. In my heart it's been sixteen years. I know that we still have things to work out, problems to solve and hurts to soothe. But I can't wait to know with absolute certainty that I am yours and you are mine. You are the love of my life, my one and done. I should have been your wife years ago."
Astonishing Rick, she slid off the couch and went to one knee. Holding his hands, she said; "Richard Alexander Rodgers will you marry me?" Looking down into those loving, pleading eyes there was only one answer he could give her. He laughed softly and stood, pulling her to her feet. "Yes Katherine Houghton Beckett I will marry you." He pulled her in tight against him and placed his lips on hers. It was a soft, promising kiss that sent her spirit soaring.
He swore he's never seen any woman look as beautiful as Kate did at that moment. Her eyes were shining and her smile was soft and sweet yet somehow triumphant. He was grinning as he said; "You're going to have to play hooky tomorrow. We're going ring shopping in the morning. When we walk that red carpet tomorrow evening, the whole world is going to meet my fiancée."
She picked up the bag from the couch and took a ring box out of it. She opened the box and took out a heavy Celtic warrior ring from it. It was simply engraved with the letters KB and RR. "It's a promise ring Rick. Just as my ring will tell the world that I am yours, I want the world to know that you are mine. She slipped it on his finger and they kissed again.*
*Authors Note: I know that I have used the promise ring scenario before. I have a reason to do it again. I have long thought it strange that while women wear an engagement ring as a visible sign of their bachelor and bachelorette parties. Last fling? Disgusting.
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