And back to the really short prompts. At least these things are keeping me writing, which will hopefully mean I keep updating.

Prompt: Kitchen

From: avengers-tables .livejournal under 50-word prompt (yes, I do intent to use all 50 words)

Pairings: Clint/Darcy, Fandral/Darcy (one-sided)

Kitchens are, by nature, busy places. Family gathers there, food is cooked there, and, in the case of the kitchen at the Avengers Manor, chaos forms and reigns supreme there. In most kitchens, one would find activities related to cooking or eating in the kitchen. At the Manor, there are times when it feels like everything but cooking and eating is occurring in the kitchen.

Which is why Pepper, Natasha, and Jane were only mildly surprised when they stepped into the kitchen that morning with Darcy in tow, to find five passed out Norse Gods laying in various locations around the room and one very naked Tony Stark passed out on the kitchen table. All asleep. Apparently from a heavy night of drinking.

Pepper had developed an eye-twitch, which was currently going off. Jane was attempting to cover her eyes while simultaneously muttering about the talk she was going to have with Thor about drinking with Tony. Natasha wasn't even trying to hide her amusement. Neither was Darcy, who was shaking her head with a grin on her face.

"Wow, I like this place already!" she declared, keeping her voice down so as not to disturb any of the previously drunk people in the room.

Pepper scowled a little and marched towards where Tony lay sprawled out. Darcy had to press her hand against her mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. Really, what better way to meet Tony Stark than finding the man naked and passed out on a kitchen table. Though, admittedly, people were expected to eat at that table. Okay, ew. Never mind.

"Darcy?" Her name said by a very familiar voice caused Darcy to turn around, half leaning backwards as she did so. Clint stood behind her covered in sweat and clad in a pair of sweatpants and running shoes. No shirt. Yum.

"Clint!" Darcy's grin was massive as she spun around to face the archer. "You're here."

Her excitement was nearly overflowing but she made no move to touch him, unsure what sort of barriers he wanted to maintain in front of others. The fact that he pulled her into a hug not a moment later deleted any idea of barriers from her mind. "Geez Darce, what are you doing here? I thought you guys weren't supposed to be in until tonight."

His unhappy tone conflicted with his hug, confusing Darcy. "Uh, yeah, we decided to come back early when Pepper realized Tony was here alone with four Asgardian men and an Asgardian woman who probably wouldn't hesitate to separate him from his intestines if he ticked her off." Gently, she drew back a little and tried to hide her unease behind a joke. "Why? Do you have a prostitute hidden away upstairs? I thought we agreed to share all sexual conquests."

Clint's face turned an interesting shade of red, though the grin that spread over his face was nothing short of perverted. "Darcy, if you'll go at it with any woman I bring back, then I'll happily go out and see if I can find another girl for us to have some fun with."

"Only if you'll do the same with any guys I bring back," bargained Darcy, knowing he would probably agree even though he didn't share. At all. Which was kinda funny given they were originally just casual sex buddies.

Sure enough, Clint made a face of consideration but didn't meet Darcy's expectations when he shook his head and dropped one of his hands to her hip. "Nah, no deal. Sorry Darce, but I'm pretty sure it would be too hard not to hit another guy if I saw him on you like that."

Well, she hadn't been expecting that. Nor was she expecting the kiss he dropped on her forehead, quick but with definite feel behind it. Between that and the hard thing poking her through her pants, it was pretty obvious that Clint was very glad to see her. Still, his tone... "So if you don't have another girl upstairs, what's wrong with me coming in early?"

Clint sighed and released her, entering the kitchen and carefully averting his eyes away from the naked Tony still sleeping on the table. Pepper had refrained from her assault to watch them. Based on the way Natasha and Jane were staring at them, Darcy guessed Clint hadn't mentioned their relationship to anyone. And it was a relationship at this point. Hell, the two of them had talked every night on Skype when Clint could talk.

She watched the archer get a drink from the tap, following him in to start on some extra strong coffee she'd brought along just in case Tony and the Asgardian's decided to drink themselves silly. Back in college, she'd invented a coffee that could cure any hangover. It could also peel paint of the walls but a touch of whiskey usually took care of that. As the water began to drain through the grounds, the smell seeming to begin rousing Tony at least, Clint finally spoke.

"You coming in early isn't a problem," he confirmed with a sigh as one of his arms wrapped around her waist again. "I just, I was planning something for when you came in and now, well-"

"Now you don't get to do it?" suggested Darcy with a smile. "You know, Pepper, Jane, Natasha, and I are still going out this afternoon to get to know each other."

It was true. The original plan was for Jane to come get Darcy and bring her back to New York alone. However, Coulson nixed that idea, saying it was too dangerous for the girlfriend of an Avenger to travel alone. Thor offered to come along, but somehow sticking the big guy on a commuter flight seemed like an really bad idea, so that was out of the question. Natasha had volunteered for guard duty at that point, though Darcy wasn't sure why. Originally she thought it was because of what was going on between her and Clint, but clearly Clint hadn't told anyone she was dating him so that was out. For whatever reason though, Natasha had agreed to come along and then Pepper decided to join them, citing the get together as a girls weekend to keep the rest of the Avengers from piling in to come out to Darcy's graduation. Thankfully. She wasn't honestly sure she could have dealt with that many people famous people around. Though, it would have been nice to see Clint a little earlier.

The man in question currently appeared to be doing some calculations in his head before a slow, cocky smirk spread over his lips and he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "You won't know what hit you tonight."

Darcy returned his smirk with one of her own. "Big words, archer. You sure you can live up to that promise?"

However, before Clint could reply, a startled cry came form across the room. "Lady Darcy!"

Suddenly, Darcy found her vision filled with blond as a man with golden hair and a goatee suddenly cut between her and Clint, grabbing her hand to lay a kiss on her knuckles. "Oh Lady Darcy, how I have missed you so! Your beauty is still as radiant as the first day I laid eyes on you in that harsh desert sun! Here in the softer light, your womanly features and soft curves are all the mor-"

Darcy cut him off with a fist right to his face. He was on the ground in seconds and she was waving her tazer at him threateningly. "Okay, I don't know who the hell you are dude, but if you touch me again I will tazer you in the balls. Just ask the God o' Thunder over there. I laid him out on his back the first time we met."

"Lady Darcy, please!" exclaimed Thor, who rushed to break up the apparent quarrel. "I promise you, Fandral has meant you no harm! He is most excited to see you again!"

Darcy opened her mouth to respond but another voice cut through the chaos.

"Geez, can you guys keep it down?" Said voice came from the direction of the table.

Sure enough, Darcy glanced towards the table to see Tony sitting up and rubbing his head. "Sorry dude, didn't mean to yell. Coffee's on, it'll cure everything that ails you. Especially if you add a shot of whiskey."

A grin crossed Tony's face. "I like you're style. You're Darcy, huh?"

"Yep," replied Darcy nonchalantly as she refocused on Fandral. "Hope you don't mind, but some guy is possibly gonna get tazed in your kitchen this morning if he doesn't stop giving me the creepy lovey-dovey stare soon."

Tony just waved his hand. "By all means, taze away. Long as its not me, I don't care. By the way, can you toss me the kitchen towel? Pep's giving me the 'I'm going to murder you for being naked in front of new people' look, again." The towel struck Tony in the face, curtsy of Darcy's only half focused aim. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," growled Darcy as she leveled her beloved tazer at Fandral. "Soon as this guy is down, I expect to hear why she has a look like that in the fir-."

However, all thoughts of tazing Fandral and hearing embarrassing stories left her mind as Clint grabbed her waist, disarmed her, and crashed their mouths together. In one move. Seriously, the man had talent she wasn't gonna let go of any time soon. And being kissed in front of some crazy blond dude who was clearly bordering obsessive to drive home the fact that she was taken? Bonus.

"What is this!" exclaimed Fandral as he freed himself from a slack-jawed Thor and forcefully wrenched Darcy from Clint's arms. "Unhand my lady!"

Poor Fandral didn't know what hit him. In the next few seconds, Clint had restrained Fandral and forced him to release Darcy, who had regained possession of her tazer and shot Fandral with it, straight in the balls as she'd threatened. Clint was more than a little impressed.

"It probably says bad things about my mental state that I find your accuracy with a tazer hot, doesn't it?" asked Clint casually as he watched Fandral spasm on the floor of the kitchen.

Natasha snorted, not making any moves to help. "I seem to recall you did not mind when I had a knife at your throat either. You are simply a glutton for punishment with an attraction to dangerous women."

"Clearly," muttered Jane with a sigh as she proceeded to call the S.H.I.E.L.D paramedics.

Kitchens can be weird places. People gather in them to cook, eat, and sometimes to simply spend time together. In the Avenger's Manor, the kitchen is also a place where people make-out to stake relationship claims, gods get tazed for being creepy stalkers, and billionaires wake up naked on tables after a night of drinking with the aforementioned gods. Darcy did see one upside to all of this though: at least live at the Manor would never be boring.

Yes, I had to revisit Fandral's obsession. Hope everyone enjoyed this.