Ok, this one is a little different in that the prompt ended up changing halfway through. It started as 'again' and became 'help' as the story progressed. Not the usual way I like to do it, but still fun. This isn't connected with anything else I've done thus far story wise. Hopefully its still funny though.

Enjoy everyone.

- Illusinia

Prompt: Help

From: under 50-word prompt (yes, I do intent to use all 50 words)

Pairing: Darcy/Clint, previous Darcy/Loki

He'd done it again. Darcy didn't know what she was going to do with him. Once again, she had come home to a messy house and a litany of whines and moans. All attempts to quell her anger. Really, he knew she wasn't going to be happy, so why did he do it?

And he knew she was going to be pissed. Her books were all over the ground, a phone book had been torn up with the pieces spread all over the room, and there were muddy tracks continuing through the house into her bedroom. Oh, he was in so much trouble.

"Damnit Clint, get out here!" shouted Darcy angrily. A whimper was his response before he came padding out of the bedroom, tail tucked between his legs and head hanging low. His eyes were pleading and sad, filled with a remorse most dog's couldn't pull off. Of course, most dogs weren't actually a superhero-turned-pharaoh dog by the God of Thunder's brother, who thought it would be a funny prank.

Unfortunately, no one could find said God of Mischief, which left Clint stuck in a dog's body and Darcy on babysitting duty. And she wasn't happy about it. Especially sense Thor had pretty much literally dropped Clint at her front door, informed Darcy of what had happened, then departed immediately with the assurance he would be fine. Maybe he'd even turn back before they found Loki. Yet, almost a week later, Clint was still a dog.

A dog who had, once again, destroyed part of her house. "Damnit Clint, what am I going to do with you? I know you're human brain is in there somewhere." Namely because dog-Clint had an odd obsession with the girls which was identical to human-Clint's own interest. Literally, the man took every opportunity he could to stare at her, or it at least felt that way. Well, now he just fell asleep with his muzzle buried in her chest or rested his head between her boobs when he was laying down with her.

With a sigh, she again surveyed the damage before refocusing on Clint, who was giving her puppy-dog eyes and whimpering at her feet. Because the last time he did this, she made him sleep in the bathroom for the night, instead of her bed. Which he apparently liked. A lot.

"Gods Clint, I can't believe this," muttered Darcy. "What the hell do you want me to do? It isn't like I can turn you back."

He whimpered at her feet again, nudging her knee with his nose. Poor guy. She couldn't imagine it was much fun to be stuck in a dog's body, especially with a human mind. Plus, Clint was uses to being acrobatic and graceful. Though his dog's body looked graceful, he wasn't particularly skilled at the whole 'walking-on-four-feet' bit. Amusing for Darcy, painful for Clint. And it honestly probably explained the mess...

Sighing, she dropped onto the couch and, as she had done repeatedly in the past week, patted the couch cushion next to her as a sign for Clint to jump up. Which he did, with his head landing in her boobs almost immediately upon his reaching her. Damn perverted archer-dog.

"Watch the nose buddy!" exclaimed Darcy, slightly huffy. His sniffer was wet and cold. Clint whimpered before laying his head in her lap and she sighed. One hand absentmindedly started stroking dog-Clint's head, her fingers tracing through the surprisingly soft hair. Apparently pharaoh hounds were a soft-haired breed. Or Clint was at least.

Her eyes stayed on Clint, even as she flipped on his favorite show for him. "What are we gonna do Clint? There has to be a way to change you back."

Clint whimpered a little, nuzzling against Darcy's chest and laying his head on her thigh. Her heart broke a little for the man-turned-dog. Yeah, sure, her and Clint were barely friends when he was human and she wasn't really sure why Thor dropped him off with her as opposed to Widow or Coulson, but she still felt for the man. Besides, he was the best eye-candy that the Avenger's had to offer. Thor was nice, but he had too much muscle and it just felt wrong to ogle Steve on some level. The man practically lived like a saint. That pretty much left Tony, who was entertaining to watch but not to ogle and Dr. Banner which, well, wasn't so entertaining. Especially when the big green rage machine came out. And Loki wasn't technically an Avenger, though he was nice to look at. Something about the lean build, slicked back hair, and air of heavy confidence...

In her lap, Clint made a sound and she looked down at him as he knelt up on his front paws and nuzzled her chin. Huh, that was different. Normally, he didn't really show any kind of affection towards her like that. Yeah, he cuddled with her at night and he tended to curl up with her on the couch, but nuzzling her was new. Well, intentional nuzzling that wasn't her boobs was. Again, damn perverted dog.

"What's wrong Clint?" asked Darcy gently, her hands stroking over his ears. "You keep whimpering at me. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to get my attention repeatedly."

As he had done several times in the past week when Darcy had said certain things, Clint ducked his doggy head and burrowed into her lap with a whimper. Okay, she was seriously stumped now. He almost looked embarrassed. Seriously, what was his issue?

Darcy shook her head and refocused on the TV, nodding off slightly until a sudden 'pop' made her almost jump out of her skin. Her head shot around rapidly to face Loki, who had apparently teleported into her living room. Huh. Well, she probably shouldn't be surprised by now.

"Geez Loki, way to give a girl a heart attack," muttered Darcy as she launched herself over the back of the couch so she could fully face the God of Mischief. The grinning God. "Uh, Loki? You're doing the deranged smile thing again."

"My apologizes Darcy Lewis," offered Loki with a faint bow, though he almost looked to be hopping out of his skin. "I didn't mean to startle you, but I wanted to see how you and Clint Barton were progressing."

Darcy blinked at Loki cluelessly. "Progressing?"

Behind her, she heard Clint move so his paws were on the back of the couch and he growled in Loki's general direction. Apparently, he wasn't very happy to see Loki. Though, if Loki had turned her into a dog, she probably wouldn't be either.

For his part, Loki just looked confused. "Why is Clint Barton still a dog?"

"Uh, because you turned him into one?" suggested Darcy, giving him a 'no shit' look.

"Yes," confirmed Loki. "I did and Thor was supposed to bring him here so you could break this spell."

Darcy and Clint both glanced at each other before refocusing on Loki. Both of them must have looked pretty confused, because Loki sighed heavily and gestured between them. "Do you not read your own tales of fantasy? When an individual is forcefully shifted between forms, a kiss returns them to normal."

The situation clicked for Darcy at that moment, though Clint still looked confused. "Wait, you turned Clint into a dog so I'd have to kiss him to turn him back? Also, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be a frog."

Loki just shrugged. "Frogs are rather disgusting creatures most of the time and I thought you would appreciate a large animal companion to a small amphibian."

"But you turned him into an animal so the girl of his dreams would have to kiss him in order to turn him back," repeated Darcy, still confused.

"Yes," confirmed Loki. "We had all grown sick of the archer's moping."

Clint growled a little, but it was halfhearted at best. Darcy just shook her head. "Well, I'm sorry Clint was moping but you should have dropped him off with Natasha if you wanted to go with the 'true love' angle or whatever it is."

It was apparently Loki's turn to look confused and even Clint made a startled noise. "Why would I choose to leave him with the Widow for such a thing?"

"Uh, because he's head-over-heels for Natasha?" suggested Darcy with a 'what rock are you living under' look.

Clint sounded more confused at that explanation while Loki just shook his head. "Really, where do you get such ideas Darcy?"

Darcy was starting to feel like she was missing a very big part of the puzzle. "Oh I don't know, because he's always with Natasha? Always leaning close to Natasha? Always staring at or guarding Natasha? Just seemed like the obvious conclusion."

Loki shook his head and focused on Clint. "Barton, do you have a love for the Widow?"

Clint shook his head firmly back and fourth with such rapid force that Darcy thought he was going to fall over on the couch. She was pretty sure it would have been vehemently if he was human. Her mouth dropped open a little. "Clint?"

"Do you have a love for Darcy Lewis?" continued Loki, ignoring Darcy's attempts to break in. Clint whimpered and looked down a little, apparently embarrassed, but still nodded his head up and down slightly.

Darcy felt her heart swell a little. Silently, she reached out and stroked the top of Clint's head. "Are you serious Clint? 'Cause if a kiss is what it'll take to turn you back, I'll do it. Doesn't matter if you only let me because its necessary."

Clint actually made a minor distressed sound and rapidly scrambled towards her. It resulted in him falling off the back of the couch and trapping Darcy on the ground. He would later insist it was an accident, and Darcy would humor him, but her and Loki would always silently maintain the move was intentional.

"Alright, alright," murmured Darcy with a smile as she sat up on an elbow, the other hand stroking the top of Clint's head. "I get it. Geez, no need to get me on my back to prove it."

Clint would probably have been blushing or grinning if he was human. With him, it was hard to tell. Instead, his face more looked like a mix of embarrassed and uncertain with some horny thrown in. Yeah, that was Clint.

"So how does this work Loki?" asked Darcy calmly as she tilted her head backwards to look up at him. "Can I just kiss him on the nose or do I have to shove my tongue in his mouth?"

Darcy had to admit, she'd never heard a dog choke quite like Clint was at the moment. Loki cracked up. "You are a mischievous one, Darcy Lewis. I knew there was a reason I chose to assist you and the archer."

"Please, you just owe me for rolling with the whole 'make Fury think he's on acid' thing," insisted Darcy with a smirk. "Which was great, I might add. You've got to tell me how you made the walls melt like that."

"Magic," replied Loki with a grin. "As for the kiss, a simple touch to his nose or mouth should suffice, though if you wish to stick your tongue in his mouth you may. Just understand that I will be taking photographs if you do. I understand that there is a community of individuals who would highly prize such an image."

Darcy cracked up even as Clint growled contritely at Loki. She knew he wouldn't actually do that, not only would she kick his ass but so would Thor. Gods, she was so glad Loki was on their side. Life without him wasn't nearly as much fun. "Good to know dude."

With that, Darcy turned Clint's head towards her and dropped a kiss on his doggy mouth. It worked pretty well apparently, because in seconds it was a human Clint Barton pinning her to the ground. A very naked human Clint Barton. Not that Darcy cared, but she thought Clint might because it looked like Loki just snapped a photograph. "I thought the photos only came if I did something bestiality-related."

Loki snorted slightly. "Hardly. When the others informed me that Barton was still a dog, I realized you were not making the connection to your fantasy tales and that he probably knew no better. Thus, I agreed to come expedite the situation so no one else need put themselves in the position of admitting to involvement. This is the proof that I did as I said."

Both of Darcy's eyebrows shot up as Clint froze against her. "How many people were involved?"

"All of the Avengers save Banner, who simply wished us the best of luck," replied Loki casually. "Oh, and Barton was obviously unwillingly a part of this. Really though, if he had simply swallowed his reservations and pursued you properly instead of whining about it we wouldn't have felt the need to use such extreme measures."

Darcy nodded, smirking slightly. "He must have hated it when we were dating."

"If two individuals engaging in a regular sexual encounter which is the only thing separating them from simply being close friends qualifies then dating," reminded Loki with his own smirk. "I believe Widow said something about his inquiries to Thor over ways to kill me occurring?"

"I still remember what Thor said too," growled Clint as he finally lifted his head to glare at Loki. His whole face was red, likely from embarrassment, but his eyes were a clear threat. "Seriously, that wasn't fun and if you do it again, I'll be sure to test out a few theories concerning your immortality."

Loki raised a casual eyebrow. "Are you going to properly engage in courting Darcy from this point forward?"

Clint was making that choked sound again, but at least this time it sounded more like agreement than death-by-breathing.

Darcy smiled slightly and dropped a kiss on his temple. "No more interference Loki. At least not without warning me first so I know what to do. He would have been human days ago if I'd known you did this just so we'd kiss already."

"Noted," confirmed Loki. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have mischief to make."

Then Loki disappeared with a wink, leaving Darcy still pinned to the ground by a naked Clint in her living room. For a moment, she considered where this feel on her good to bad scale but quickly realized Loki had left under worse circumstances. Such as when they found out she made his magic go haywire and he'd accidentally torn open a rift in the space-time continuum, releasing an array of magical beings on New York City. At least she knew her bj's were above par.

Speaking of sexy fun, she still had a very naked Clint on her. The grin which crossed her face was pure mischief. "So, Clint, since you're already naked and on top, wanna have some fun?"

She expected profuse blushing and denial. Instead, he gave her the look of a starving man who'd just been offered a buffet. Wow, that look was hot. He growled a little too, actually growled, when he responded. "Don't tease Darcy, today has been rough enough already."

"The last week has been rough for you," pointed out Darcy with a grin before she pulled him down for their first human kiss. "And I wasn't teasing."

Suffice to say, Darcy wasn't sure she'd be able to wall right the next day by the end of the night. But Clint was hers, something she greatly appreciated, and the best part of it all? His wet nose wasn't jabbing into her ass at night any more.