So, a few notes on this piece.

1) It's sappy (for my writing). Seriously sappy, a touch angsty, and not particularly humorous. There are some emotions in here (at least I tried to incorporate them) of longing and deep felt affection. If you don't want to read sap, move on. I tried really hard not to make Darcy sound mopy, but it's very hard to do. Anyone who's been in a long distance relationship will tell you that even the strongest people (including those declared Vulcan by their roommates) get a little mopy-sounding. Though Darcy's emotions may seem a little over the top or strong, I can actually speak from experience that this is how people start to feel after a while.

2) I doubt anyone would do this, but please no negative comments about people in long distance

relationships or the very nature of those relationships. I know at the very beginning that Darcy has some negative thoughts on the subject and for that I'm drawing from comments I've heard others say when admitting to 'doing the long distance thing' myself. I have a great respect for those who fight to stay in a relationship over long distances and want to make it clear that I am sensitive to their situation.

Alright, now that that's done, on with the story. Enjoy everyone.

- Illusinia

Long distance relationships never made sense to her and she could never figure out how any guy could ever be important enough for something like that. How any guy could ever be worthy of that kind of deep trust. In the back corners of her mind, she would acknowledge that part of that had to do with seeing her father suffer after loosing her mom like he did. Verbally, she'd just snort and insist that no one was that special, unique, or trustworthy.

Apparently she was completely wrong and had underestimated her own capacity for emotion, even though her father had joked that her mom was an alien (to which her mom had always smirked and told him that he'd just have to figure that out for himself). For the record, she was human. And apparently had the emotional capacity of the girl's she'd always thought were ridiculously stupid for trying to date over any kind of great distance. Trusting anyone to behave when they were that far away just seemed stupid to her. It didn't strike her as logical, putting ones self though that kind of emotional pain.

So much for logic.

With a resigned sigh, Darcy rolled over in her dorm bed and lifted up on one elbow while reaching for her glasses. Lens' on, she tugged open the drawer in the table beside her bed and extracted a pocket watch. When she opened it, an old and cracked clock-face looked back at her along with a photo of Clint that he didn't know she'd pasted into the cover. It was one of the few photos she had of him, taken from the time they'd driven out to Carlsbad Caverns for a few days.

The original photo showed the two of them standing in front of a massive sheet of stone that glimmered in the soft light. He was leaning against the rail around the formation and had pulled her back against him, arms wrapped around her waist from behind. His chin rested on her hair and her entire body leaned back against his with an easy familiarity that surprised her. It had been their fourth official date. She'd never asked how he knew that she loved the caverns, with their damp environment and low lights that suited her eyes more than the bright ones she faced every day. Somehow, he'd figured it out though.

One finger traced over the features of his face, following the curve of his lips and glint of his eyes as he looked at the photo. It was him, the embodiment of his very being on a flimsy piece of paper. Just looking at the photo made her heart ache a little, but she couldn't resist looking none the less. Damn she missed him.

A frustrated breath slipped from her lips as she rolled onto her back and clicked the watch shut, wrapping both hands around it to focus on the feeling of him that echoed from the time piece. He'd offered to tell her its history, but she knew talking about that time of his life made him uncomfortable. Instead, she'd asked him what it meant to him. He'd told her that watch was one of the most precious possessions he owned. One of the few things he'd had since his childhood. And he was giving it to her. Warmth bloomed in her chest at the thought as one of her fingers stroked over the worn surface of the piece.

Closing her eyes, she reached out to touch the watch with her spirit and was rewarded with a faint ping as more of the watch's history attempted to flow through her mind. Normally she worked hard to keep from absorbing the memories of others off of objects or people, but with the watch everything was a little different. She found herself craving the chance to learn more about him without subjecting him to actually reliving the memories himself. When she missed him most, she would draw memories off the watch a little at a time.

Tonight was one of those nights.

When she was settled, she dropped the barrier her hands were generating and allowed the watch's history to flow into her mind slowly. Images slid slowly past her mind's eye, none remaining visible for long but still giving her enough time to absorb what she was seeing. She was always careful not to connect enough with an object that she'd receive emotions.

A circus tent flashed before her, followed by images of people dressed in various costumes. Jugglers, tight-rope walkers, lion tamers, and a variety of others she didn't personally know or couldn't recognize danced across her vision as they preformed their roles before she moved. All of the images were through Clint's eyes, allowing her to see exactly as he had in that moment. Allowing her to know the feel of the throwing knife as it slid through his fingers as he released it at a target. Understand the taunt feeling of the bow's string as he pulled it back before releasing an arrow. Heard the crowd cheer. It was a common memory, one of the ones she saw most when she touched the watch. It was hard to tell sometimes if she was seeing the same image over and over again or if each was a new performance. The only way to tell was to look at the audience.

It wasn't the same as having him there, but it allowed her to be at least a little closer to him. Gave her a hint of his presence, the thing she craved most. Reminded her that he was very real and that she wasn't living in some strange dream. He'd given her something precious to him. Given something precious to someone he trusted. Even if he didn't know it, he'd given her the ability to remain connected with him.

Briefly, she recalled when he gave her the watch.

"Clint?" asked Darcy with a raised eyebrow as he held a small box wrapped in purple paper in front of her. "What's this?"

Clint smiled and slid behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist as she stood looking at the box in her hands. "It's a gift. You're supposed to open it."

"Really genius? I never would have guessed," teased Darcy as she carefully removed the paper from the package. "I more meant, why are you giving me a gift?"

A kiss pressed softly against the junction between her neck and shoulder. He loved kissing her there. It was usually where he pressed his lips when he was feeling sad or lonely. Feeling the need to connect with her. "I'm getting reassigned soon and you're going back to school, so I wanted to give you something to remember me by."

"You're impossible to forget Clint," chided Darcy softly, dropping the carefully undone wrapping paper and flipping open the box lid. A warn and slightly tarnished silver pocket watch stared out at her from its carefully made cotton bed. For a moment, she'd blinked at the object before sliding it from the box to examine it closer. "A pocket watch?"

She felt him nod against her shoulder. "Yeah."

"Why a pocket watch?" she asked curiously, shifting so she could stare up at him. He wasn't that much taller than her, but he was tall enough that she had to lean back a little to look him in the eyes.

The fingers resting on the bottom of her stomach slid to lightly grasp her hips. Normally, she hated to be touched. The sensation was hard to handle in most situations given what she could do. But Clint needed to be able to touch her, needed to feel that she was there. So, she let him touch her more than she let anyone else in her whole life. Somehow, it didn't bother her as much as she would have thought. "I've had it for years. I got it when-"

Two of her fingers rose to cover his lips, stopping his words before they fell. Her eyes met his as she turned to completely face him. The hands on her waist shifted so he could keep his hold. "Clint, don't tell me the history of the watch. I know you don't like to talk about your past and I'm not going to ask you to. Just tell me what the watch means to you."

"Hope," he murmured around her fingers, kissing the pads before he continued. "Good luck. I've had it since just before I joined the circus. Never thought I'd let it go until now."

Darcy felt her brow furrow. "I don't get it. Why are you giving the watch to me if it's so important to you?"

A smile touched his lips as one of his hands slid up to cup the back of her neck while he forehead came to rest against her own. "That watch is precious to me, just like you are. It seemed right to give something that means the world to me to the girl who means just as much."

Her breath caught in her throat at those words, impossible for her to throw off. To forget. She was precious to him, important enough to be given the right to hold such an important part of his life in her hands. Important enough to be entrusted with something he cherished. She'd kissed him before he could say more, carefully setting the watch and it's box aside.

She was pulled from the memory by the ringing of her cell beside her head. Groaning, she glanced at the screen and prayed that it wasn't her father or Fury calling. Though she would never admit it, hearing her phone cellphone ring caused a small spike of fear to rise in her every time. It had been that way since her mother's accident, though Clint was helping to change that.

Clint's name flashed across the screen (speak of the devil), begging her to answer the phone. There was nothing that could keep her from doing just that.

"Hey Clint."

"Hey Darce." Clint's voice was rough over the phone, tired. He'd probably just gotten back in from his latest mission. Though he really wasn't supposed to, Clint made a point of telling her when he was being sent out if it would be for longer than a day. "What's up?"

"Nothing," admitted Darcy softly. "I was just laying in bed and holding your pocket watch." She told him every time that he called if she'd handled the watch recently. It was a way of letting him know she appreciated the gesture and cherished the watch as much as he did.

His smile was audible. "Yeah?"

"Mhm," hummed Darcy wistfully. "I miss you Clint."

"I miss you too Darce," murmured back Clint sadly. "I've got some time saved up though and I want to try to come visit soon. Sound good?"

Darcy smiled softly. "That sound's amazing. Just let me know when."

"You bet sweetheart," assured Clint gently. She heard him shift around on his end and settle into a comfortable position. "I know it's late there, but do you have time to talk?"

"For you? Always," whispered back Darcy as she moved to lay on her side, one hand holding the phone to her ear and the other still gripping his watch as she settled in to talk with him for a while. She knew she'd probably fall asleep on the phone, but that didn't bother her in the least.

Clint's smile was a full grin now, at least she guessed it was based on his tone. "Great. You don't know how much I've missed hearing your voice Darce." A faint blush color her cheeks at his words. Hearing him tell her that always made her blush. It reminded her in part of why she loved him. "So, what's going on with you?"

Hopefully you all enjoyed this.

So, I am still alive but I don't know how much I'll be posting any time soon. I have somewhere between five and seven different pieces that I'm working on at the moment along with a new piece that I've been pouring a lot of time into for my own mind's sake. At the moment, none of these pieces have met my satisfaction and most aren't done anyway but I am going to try to edit the pieces into something that I feel right about and get those up. I have pieces for all of my arc's in progress and nothing at this time has been abandoned.

Thank you all for your patience with me and I apologize for the long delay. I'm going to try to get 'fairness' up next, as its the continuation from 'regrets'. If anyone has an requests, questions, or comments, don't hesitate to message me.