Cosima reluctantly approaches the parenting section of Indigo in the Eaton's centre. She'd tried to waste time in other sections, selecting a few other books to hide the research she was about to undertake. She'd gotten lost twice on her way here, luckily the subways were fairly foolproof.

She skims the shelf. Books on breastfeeding, and pregnancy and how to deal when your kid is being an asshole or crying all the time. Parenting without punishing. How to punish your kids. How to make your baby cry to sleep. Why you shouldn't make your baby cry to sleep. Cosima groans, too many. Too much. Maybe she should just hop back around to the LGBTQ section on the other side of the shelf. Order online… or ask Alison, then get whatever Alison didn't read...

"Do you need help?" An employee approaches her, "Looking for something in particular."

"Umm a parenting book. About babies." Cosima nods, gesturing nervously.

"Congratulations." The clerk offers "Well, we have a few pregnancy books. This one is quite popular."

"No I'm not pregnant… or well I mean I'm not a parent... But if my ex-girlfriend takes me back then I kinda have to be, you know? She's pregnant. Not me." Cosima glances at the name tag, "Any thoughts... Kyle?"

Kyle just nods at her nervously, "Umm, grab one of the baby ones and ...good luck?"

"Which one?" Cosima looks helplessly, "Which one is less uptight?"

"Umm try one of these." He points, "And … yeah umm, maybe more than one."

"Right." Cosima swallows, selecting several books, trying to go for more of a relaxed vibe than an uptight one. What kind of parent would she be anyways? She couldn't imagine ever being as regimented as Alison. What would Delphine be like? Protective certainly, Cosima muses, nurturing… but beyond that?

Kyle taps her shoulder quickly, "And we have baby gifts, and clothes, if you really want to suck up to the ex."

"Might have to… " Cosima looks at the sea of pink and blue, "Umm do you have anything less gendered? Like yellow or green ...or just baby clothes for babies? I mean isn't it overly stereotyped? Like just out of the womb, here kid, we're gonna put you in a box."

Kyle shrugs, "Not really. You could try like the Bay or one of the stores in the mall."

"Right." Cosima gathers her books to check out. What should she buy? Those onesie things? Sleepers? What would Delphine want? Or need?

She feels ridiculous, with 'The Baby Book' in one hand, she lurks around Delphine's building. She reads through all the chapters, except the breastfeeding parts. Those have nothing to do with her, Cosima assumes. She's leafing through the section on birth when she's interrupted.

"Seriously? You again?" An older woman leans down from her balcony, "Why are you here? I am going to call the cops."

"No. Oh god no. Please don't do that. I'm just...um waiting for Delphine Cormier. She lives here."

"Then why don't you call her?"

"Umm she doesn't know I'm here. But I'll like call her… I swear I will." Cosima waffles, she's unsure how far along Delphine is, only that she's gone off on mat-leave, "I don't suppose you know exactly how far along she is?"

"No," The woman barks, "And when I get down to take my dog for a walk, you better be gone."

"Wait.. umm I'm her ex." Cosima volunteers, "I'm just working up my nerve and researching baby and birth crap."

"Honey, she's nearly ready to pop. I think her latest ex might have more to do with that than you."

"But… I love her.. and just let me do this." Cosima pauses, "Has there been a man around?"

"No. She was away a lot at the beginning. For work, she said. But no men … actually no one but her and well lately, her mother. And midwives…"

"Delphine's mom is here?" Cosima looks up in disbelief.

"Yes." The neighbour rolls her eyes, "Just call her and be done with it. I barely know Delphine, she keeps to herself mostly. Quiet. Good neighbour. Pays her rent on time."

"Well… could you like let me into the building?" Cosima tries to appear cute and non-threatening.

"Honey, I don't know who you are. Delphine is in labour, she has her mom, midwives, I think she's going to be fine. Go home and wait for the facebook update like everyone else."

"But… please?" Cosima tries again.

In the end she lurks long enough to catch wind of where they're going, she follows, even knowing the hospital probably won't let her in.

"Well Sarah said to chill, cause it could still take hours." Felix tells her lazily, pausing to take a drag of what is probably a joint.

"Did Kira?" Cosima ask curiously.

"No. Kira was crazy fast. I was there." Felix responds, "Anyways, I have a friend, and we might be able to get you in."

"Seriously? Awesome." Cosima nods, "But… umm hurry, Delphine sounded pretty desperate when she got to that car." She'd stuck around, lurking out of sight, but she'd heard her. Delphine's moans were very familiar to her. Why is it that pleasure and pain can yield such similar noises?

"Ah, well don't worry." Felix brushes off her concern, "We have no idea…"

"Yes, well. Call your friend. I'll be waiting for a call back. Hurry." Cosima whines, "I don't want to miss it."

Felix answers quickly, "Yeah. Client, actually. But Cosima, Delphine may not want you there. And do you really want to watch her push the baby out of her-"

"Felix. Make the call." Cosima demands more loudly. She wasn't afraid, she'd watch, she'd hold Delphine's hand, or stroke her hair. Reassure her. Whatever Delphine needed.

"Fine. Fine. And I will. I think Bob owes me a favour… or more." Felix muses happily, hanging up for now.

She doesn't want to miss it. Cosima knows that much, it's too important. Too much of a chance to show Delphine how much she cares, to support her, to watch this baby be born. Why hadn't she called? Apologized? Cosima berates herself inwardly.

Too proud to grovel to Delphine, and now she was paying the price and waiting on a call. Why hadn't she done this last week when Delphine was still working? Or earlier this week? She'd spent hours around the building, reading up, trying to find the right words that would have Delphine forgiving her, welcoming her into her home, her life.

She'd even fantasized about making love to Delphine again, even with her larger belly, propping her beloved into a comfortable position with pillows and having her way with her again, at least once more before baby arrived. She would have kissed the swell, felt the little one kick, assured Delphine she was in, for whatever happened next. It was too late for that.

And now, she might miss the birth.

Delphine doesn't seem tired enough to Cosima, she's alert and enamoured with her baby, who seems to regard her mother with equal interest, looking around. Delphine moves easily, sitting up, keeping Céleste clutched to her chest. Céleste, the seven pound, three ounce baby who resembled… both of them. She stood back, kept out of the way as midwives checked over the placenta, making sure that it was complete.

"How do you feel?" The older midwife addresses Delphine.

"I feel great." Delphine smiles, "I think I could do that again." She laughs, looking down at her naked baby once again. Both Delphine and the child are still completely naked, no one seems to care much about it, except for Cosima, eyes greedily taking them both in. The baby, Céleste, Cosima corrects herself, is so quiet, even when she'd briefly held her, she hadn't cried. Delphine seems ecstatic, switching into French to coo to Céleste.

"Well we'll wait a few hours, and then you can check out. Heck, I could send you home now, but I think the skin-on-skin time is important. Let's get her latched on, do you want to recline? Sit up? How would you feel most comfortable?"

She has to stay out of the way, though it seems it's all done now. Baby is out. Placenta is out. Delphine's mother is out having a cigarette. There's no denying it, Cosima wishes Delphine would look at her, address her. But for the moment her attention was largely focused on Céleste, on latching her on, listening to the midwife, asking questions. Maybe she shouldn't have skipped that book chapter, she'll be useless if Delphine needs help. Maybe she could ask Sarah? Would Sarah know or even remember? She'd helped Helena… Cosima shakes her head again.

Is it true? Cosima wonders, is Céleste truly hers? Everything inside her insisted it was true. Céleste was their daughter. What had Delphine done? Just woken up one day and decided to create a baby with their DNA? Should she ask for a DNA test? Is this… what is this?

For now, Cosima realizes, she can't say anything. Not until they're alone.

"So, you're Cosima." One of the women addresses her, standing back for the time being, "I'm Kate, Delphine's doula."

"Hi." Cosima says a bit awkwardly, "Cosima. Delphine's umm…"

"Ex-girlfriend." Kate subs in, "She asked for you earlier, I know she's happy you're here."

Relief floods Cosima, she is wanted here. She hasn't ruined things forever. "Yeah. Me too." Cosima looks over at Delphine and the baby again, trying not to cry. She's unsure if she's more furious or sad. Cannot draw the line between love and elation, and everything else swirling through her.

Hours later, she holds Céleste in her arms, clad only in a tiny diaper, looking up at her and gently moving her tiny fingers, her wrinkly red feet. She's perfect, a mix of the two of them.

"Cutest baby ever." Cosima pronounces her, setting her down on the bed to snap a few quick pictures with her phone. She moves to text them to Alison, Sarah and Felix with the message 'cutest baby ever', while glancing down at her daughter. Her daughter, the words still feel strange. Even to think them.

Céleste merely makes a few small grunting noises in response, her little limbs flail. It's normal, Cosima reminds herself, totally normal for newborns. She admires the dark curls on her head, her tiny nose and mouth. Oh. She loves this little one already, it's so easy.

Delphine is supposed to be sleeping, but she feels her stir next to them in the bed.

"Sleep Delphine, you were in labour for like 8 hours today, you pushed this baby out your vagina. Sleep." Cosima says softly.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I think she's cold." Delphine tells her softly, rolling onto her side.

"She's fine." Cosima assures her, "Here, I'll put her on me and cover us with a blanket, does that work?"

"Mmmm." Delphine hums.

"I'm still pissed." Cosima admits quietly, after having adjusted to lie down and lay Céleste on top of her, pulling a small purple blanket over the two of them.

"I know," Delphine's asleep, or half-asleep but she continues to respond.

"But I love you, and I love Céleste, and I'm going to take care of you both. I promise." Cosima sighs finally, she'll have time to work through her feelings. How can she adore this tiny human and be furious at Delphine for making her?

"Je t'aime." Delphine murmurs sleepily.

"Thank you." Cosima finally says quietly, when she's certain that Delphine is asleep, voice breaking as she strokes Céleste's delicate hand, her tiny back, her moulded head.

"Hi Celeste." Cosima whispers softly to her daughter, "I'm your mommy, and I love you."

She swears she sees Delphine smile a tired smile in her sleep.

The first two days are a blur, she doesn't even bother telling her sisters or Felix about Céleste, or anyone for that matter. The only one to respond to her text was Sarah, simply saying it was a matter of opinion.

The midwives have shown up each day for follow-up appointments with Delphine. There was still so much she didn't know. That the bleeding, lochia, would go on for over a month. That breastfeeding would cause Delphine's uterus to contract back to its normal size.

"Are you okay?" Delphine asks her every few hours when she sees the shocked expression over her face. She's learned to nurse Céleste on her side, and typically if Cosima leaves for food or even just to get some air, she leaves and returns to find Delphine in that same position. She's so worried, Cosima sees that much. She's seen Delphine cry at least twice. The midwives have assured her it's normal hormones, while Cosima directs her blame entirely at Delphine's mom.

Delphine's mother, Brigitte, comes and goes, usually insisting on holding Céleste for at least an hour a day, while criticizing Delphine in rapid French. At least Cosima assumes she's criticizing as she understands less than half of what is said. It leaves a weepy Delphine needing to translate from her cozy spot on the bed. The only thing Cosima likes about Brigitte, she soon realizes, is her resemblance to Delphine.

"Brigitte," Cosima tries awkwardly after the dozenth awkward exchange, "Can you please speak English or at least a bit slower? I know that you can, you needed it for work in France. Delphine told me."

The death glare that meets her eyes leaves no questions where Delphine had learned that particular expression.

"Maman," Delphine implores her mother, "Cosima cannot understand us, everytime you do that I have to translate it."

"What is it this time?

"She thinks I should be out of bed and doing things and not lying around half-naked with my baby." Delphine translates quickly.

"Oh. So basic judge-y mother stuff?"

"Yes." Delphine nods, "Also she has not seen this much of me undressed since I was a child myself. And my brother's wife didn't nurse their baby very long and how perfect Zoé is … and it goes on like that, she thinks it's gross, I'm enslaving myself to my baby. You're not missing much." Delphine shoots daggers at her mother throughout this, the translation is probably to shame Brigitte into acceptance, or at least silence regarding her daughter's infant feeding decisions.

"And me?" Cosima certain Brigitte has been talking about her as well.

"She doesn't like you," Delphine tells her simply, not bothering to hide the fact, "Or that you're calling yourself 'mommy'."

"Too bad," Cosima shrugs, "Baby has to eat; she's being breastfed. I'm mommy. Get over it."

"Viens à Mamie." Brigitte reaches out for the baby, prying her out of Delphine's hands once again.

"Translation?"

"Come to granny." Delphine repeats emotionlessly, before addressing her mother, "Maman, elle a besoin d'allaiter plus…"

"Non…" Brigitte responds nonchalantly, "Tu va l'engraisser."

Even Cosima picks up on this one, "We'll make her fat? The milk isn't even in yet!" Cosima exclaims in offense, "Delphine… your mom is crazy."

"Je sais." Delphine sighs, "Je sais…."

She wakes on the third day to a small scream, not the child's, but Delphine's.

"Baby?" Cosima quickly shoots up in bed, "Everything okay? Is it Céleste?"

"No, it's fine." Delphine brushes her off, "It's normal."

"Holy shit… they're huge." Cosima laughs at Delphine pointing at her bare breasts, swollen even further, now engorged with milk.

"Yes they are…" Delphine grits her teeth, quickly getting up to grab Céleste and latch her on.

"So I guess umm the milk is in?" Cosima volunteers unhelpfully, "Are they going to stay that big? Like as long as she's nursing?" She cannot say she's bothered by this turn of events, Delphine suddenly voluptuous. There's certainly a curiosity there on her own part, Cosima acknowledges, but that can wait until later.

"They will be a little smaller," Delphine mutters bringing Céleste to the breast, "Once she empties them. Which she is going to do now."

"Umm I think I better go and read that chapter in… yeah." Cosima nods, at least it's morning-ish, she turns on a lamp and grabs for the baby book beside the bed, "Should I look up engorgement? Or get something to catch the milk?" She notices quickly, that as Delphine feeds Céleste from one breast, she's dripping milk from the other.

"Do something useful." Delphine suggests tiredly, "Or go back to sleep."

"You're like a fountain!" Cosima laughs again, before returning to the book, "So breastfeeding, engorgement…." She flips through pages.

A familiar ring interrupts the moment. "Oh shit, that's my phone," Cosima jumps up, and grabs her blue phone, but stays close to Delphine and Céleste.

"Hey." Cosima answers the phone quickly, before even checking who her caller is.

Sarah's voice comes through clearly, "Cos, we haven't heard from you in days. What's going on?"

"I've been at Delphine's."

"Still?"

"Well, she just had a baby, and I've been helping her and changing diapers and getting food."

Felix's voice chimes in from the background, she must be on speakerphone, "So you're waiting on Delphine hand and foot, and don't even bother checking in?"

"Umm… yeah. I guess so." Cosima shrugs, gesturing pointlessly in the air with her free hand, "Not like hand and foot, but umm, keeping her in bed resting, getting her food, changing diapers, and stuff…"

"Am I going to have to come over there and pry you away from Delphine?" Felix asks, "Cause enough is enough…"

"Fee," Sarah chides him, "What the hell are you up to Cosima? You can't just disappear. I mean… We have Helena here and we... we could use a little extra help."

"Is that Cosima?" Helena's voice, "Hello sestra. I hear you like babies, would you like to come meet Aleksei?"

"Hi Helena." Cosima responds, before being cut off by Sarah again.

"Not now meathead, Helena… I'm sorry." Sarah interrupts, "So, everything is fine, but we … we could use a hand, yeah?"

Delphine observes the exchange quietly, glancing down at Céleste, "Please don't tell them, mon amour." She begs softly. Cosima sighs, there's no way around this. Her sisters will have to know.

"With something you don't want Delphine to overhear. Okay. Umm." Cosima hesitates, how to get these particular words out, "So, Celeste is mine."

"Who the hell is Celeste?" Felix balks.

"Probably the baby. A girl then?" Sarah brushes this off, "Great, bond with Delphine's baby later, we need you here."

Cosima repeats, "I mean like biologically mine. Delphine used stem cells from my bone marrow to make sperm cells and created embryos using her own eggs. Celeste is the result of science, an experiment. A bone marrow baby."

"Say again?" Sarah repeats in disbelief.