"Hey momma? What happens when we die?"
For several moments all the jadeblood could do was stare at her son in mute, horrified shock.
"I...Cerise what brought that on."
"Kankri. The troll who looks like me in my dreams is named Kankri. And it was another vision. I saw one of me dying."
"Oh."
Ugh she needed to say more than that, so much more. But her son had caught her off guard with the question and she honestly had no idea how to answer it.
"I...that won't be happening for a very long time my dear."
"I know. But it is going to happen just like it did to the trolls in my dreams."
"The trolls in your dream died?!"
"Yes. More than once. It's weird and kinda cool but I'm not like them and well...I don't know and I'm scared. I don't want to leave you, ever."
This was so not a question for right before bedtime. "I can't promise you'll never die, but I can promise I will never, ever leave you. You are my sun, my baby, my moonlight in the dark. You will always be in my heart. Now, please Kankri, close your eyes. It's getting late and we have a lot to do tomorrow."
Sighing softly Porrim knelt down to the troll tightly curled into a ball on the hard, sand floor of the tent she'd pitched. There was no way he was comfortable like that, but she didn't have anyway to make the three sweep old sleep any better. Not that he slept well anyway.
"I love you too momma. So even when I die I promise I won't ever leave you either. I just...I'm not sure how. I don't know what happens after the end, and I just even if you're there with me I'm really scared. I don't wanna die."
"I know honey. I know." She carded her now softly glowing fingers through his mass of curly black hair, kissed his forehead then each of his horns. For a while she kept doing this, massaging his scalp and laying kisses wherever she could. It seemed to help calm her boy down, but not by much. With another heavy, world weary sigh she kissed his eyelids and did the one and only thing that had ever helped her grub sleep. She sang.
Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day.
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
Her efforts were rewarded by the small bundle of skin, bones and hair closing eyes still grey. Gods he was so young. Much too young to be worrying over things like this. Though, honestly she couldn't say she was surprised. Her Kankri: It was weird to think of him with that name, had always been wise beyond his sweeps.
"That's my boy."
"Mnn." Kankri mumbled sleepily, his eyes fluttering open for a few seconds before shutting. After a few more minutes passed the soft sounds of his snoring assured Porrim that her grub was fast asleep. At least for now. Even so she continued to sing.
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
"Momma?!"
It took every ounce of will for her to not burst into tears again. Her son, the light of her life and the troll she cared most dearly for was dying. They had captured him, tortured him and broken him and now they were putting him on display. They were burning him and whipping him and HE WAS DYING.
Try as she might Porrim couldn't help but sob as she was dragged away from her boy. Who was not a boy any longer. He was grown, his once grey eyes now red as his blood and his lover, his Disciple kneeling near him. His friend and brother in arms was nearby as well but Porrim wasn't sure where Mituna was. Despite the muffling device secured on his head no one trusted the yellow blood to be too close to her boy.
"Signless, I'm here. I promise I'm here. Always." Gods how she hated calling him by that tile, but their hatch names had to remain secret or else the followers, hidden journals and various codes would be in jeopardy. Plus her boy was an adult,he deserved to be known by a title. Just, one much better than 'Signless.'
"Momma, can you sing me to sleep one last time?"
In that moment Porrim found that she could indeed cry more than she already had even though she'd been wailing. Despite that, she managed to sing. If there was nothing else she could do she could fulfill her son's last request.
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
"I love you Kankri."
"I'm going to miss you momma."
When the next line faltered in her throat as a sob choked her words away, her lullaby did not go unsung. His voice was rough from shouting, scratchy and a shadow of its former self but it was still the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard.
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
With one last burst of strength Porrim pulled herself free of her guards and hugged Kankri in the tightest hug she could. She could hear bones that had already been broken creak and his grunt of pain but she couldn't let up and she never wanted to let go.
Her breaths were coming out in shuddering gasps, she couldn't see for all the tears in her eyes and her heart hurt so much she could swear it was being literally torn in half but still she refound her voice to sing as she slowly rocked Kankri as well as she was able with him chained to the jutting block like some kind of beast.
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
She had never dared hope she'd by able to join her son this soon. One day she'd have to thank the seadweller who was no doubt behind the harpoon in her gut. For now though all she could really do was feel as the cold water hit her back and then engulfed her. As her consciousness faded, so much like when Mindfang took her and yet so completely different, she heard he soft baritone voice of her baby singing her to sleep.
Oh what a precious, sweet boy he was. To think he'd worried she could ever not love him. He'd captured her heart from the first time he had looked up to her with those big, scarlet red grub eyes of his.
She was dying, hell almost dead now, but even that did not stop her from joining her son in song
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
They met in the dream bubbles where they had met in life: a desert with a mountain on the horizon and the soft sounds of grubs scrambling just below ground. He was a child again, no more than three sweeps old and she just as young as she'd been the day she'd taken the tiny red grub away from certain doom.
Unlike when she last saw him his eyes were completely white, which hurt but at the same time was comforting. Never again would someone hate her precious child the second they looked into his eyes. Funny how death made everyone equal.
At the same time both mother and son wiped tears from their eyes and then ran to one another. As they met they hugged one another tight and sobbed for everything they'd lost, everything they'd done and everything they had yet to do.
Eventually the two of them could no longer muster tears and, despite being dead, exhaustion swallowed them both. A simultaneous yawn, two sleepy grins and they were singing to one another again.
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
"Now that you're here, I can't imagine it getting anymore wonderful. I missed you, I love you. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise and that I left you. But I'm here now and I'll never, ever leave you again"
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
How long the two of them stayed like that no one could say, That was the beautiful thing about dream bubbles, they were eternal, and so in a way, was everyone who inhabited them.
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be