Read on! Author's note at the bottom today!
Confession
PPOV
"I'm surprised at you" Johanna stated as she perched on the edge of the low wall outside.
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused by her question. I hadn't done anything particularly surprising recently. Hell, I had been remarkably normal considering all that had happened these last few days, what with the fighting and all.
"You have a strangely emotional response to Lucy's death. You hardly knew the girl yet you seemed deeply effected by it. I get that you are a bit emotional"
"Thanks Jo"
"No you didn't let me finish, I get that but not on that level. Is something else wrong?" she continued a rare hint of genuine concern in her voice which seemed almost alien for Johanna. "Is it the sexual frustration between you and Katniss?" Ah, there was the normal Johanna again, snarky, annoying Jo.
"Shut up" I said looking away from her smiling face as she thought she had hit bang on the money. Unaware that it wasn't that. Actually the cause of my reaction was rooted down to Annie. I had spent too long watching her suffer when she didn't fit in at school and found herself picked on by people we now know where a bigger threat than we had thought. For some reason I had thought that once her powers emerged and she could get away from all that her life would become better and she would be able to cope better. That she might finally find some happiness of her own. But seeing her break down after Lucy's death had proved that no matter how much I tried to protect her it would never be enough.
"Dismiss me all you want but I'm right" she pointed out just as the door opened as Finnick walked out of the fire exit.
"What are you so happy about?" Johanna demanded. "We did just fight a battle, you did just have the shit kicked out of you by a small girl and you did just get taunted about the one thing that really bugs you by that same girl. So why the happy face?" she added. As annoying as Johanna was some times she was right, Finnick should not be smiling as he was now, not after what had just happened.
"Yeah, what's going on Finn?" I asked, causing the smile to immediately drop from his face as his eyes met mine. He couldn't just be normal. Last time someone brought up the future he had broken down. And now he was fine? No that didn't make any sense. I had spent way to much time consoling him over that issue for Finnick to be fine now was practically impossible.
"Nothing I'm fine" he shrugged trying to dismiss the issue.
"No you're not, come on, dish the dirt Finn" Jo ordered, both of us now trying to get the truth out of Finn.
"Jo, just leave it please" he begged, his tone sounding more desperate now.
"No, I won't just -, wait. I know that look" Jo cried, gesturing to Finn slightly sheepish expression while looking at me.
"Where from Jo?" I asked, almost forgetting Finn was stood in front of us.
"Do you remember that time that Finn made out with what's-her-face at school and then came over to us but when we asked what had happened he wouldn't tell us?" she explained, her voice rising in excitement.
"Oh yeah, and that's the same look!" I exclaimed, making the mental link.
"So who is it? Please tell me it's not the receptionist, I hate her guts" Jo asked, mumbling the last bit like she didn't want us to know something we already knew. Her expression seemed to light up she evidently thought she had figured it out. "There's only one girl you like Finn, I know 'cause I've been teasing you about it for ages, it's Annie isn't it.
When he didn't answer it was answer enough as immediately after Jo said this he dropped his head to look at the cold tarmac beneath him after. A variety of emotions swarmed inside my head. How could he? He was already a danger to Annie and now he wanted to make it harder for her to find out the truth when it eventually hit her in the face, which it literally could do. Knowing full well I should face him about my thoughts. Knowing that I really wasn't being the mature one here, I stood up and walked away. Leaving Jo and Finn stood wondering why I had gone, well Finn anyway, I hoped to god that Jo understood why and that I wasn't alone in my views.
JPOV
For some reason Finnick still didn't grasp the gravitas of what he had just admitted even after Peeta walked away and his next words cemented that.
"Jo what was that about?" he asked me, like he really didn't know and really was that stupid.
"You don't get it do you?" I replied.
"Get what?" he pressed, his expression was that of a child who didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to hit his sister.
"As close as you and Peeta are, did it never strike you that maybe, just maybe, he doesn't want you here? That maybe looking at you every day is a reminder of what will happen to a girl he sees as his sister? A girl he has protected everyday of his life from you because you are the only real danger to her. I know it hurts you to hear that Finn but you need to know that no matter how much we all care about you, what Wiress said when Annie was born will always be stuck in our minds, even after her words are fulfilled" my voice cracking as I explained to him what none of us had wanted to tell him. But who could blame us? Who wants to tell their close friend that you were stuck with by people more powerful than you are a young age, that in your mind they will always be a murderer? I sure didn't want to and yet I just had, I already regret that move as I watched his expression crumple. "Finn" I said in the most calming tone I could muster, now wishing I could go back in time and undo what I had just said.
"No you're right, I am a monster. I'm the person whose fault all this" he began, gesturing the building. "is. I'm tearing apart a family and making the mother leave her daughter alone. No wait that's not me, that's them. I may be the one set to deliver the last blow but they are doing the real damage. They are the ones forcing a seventeen year old girl to accept responsibilities she is not ready for. I don't care if when everyone else looks at her they see the key to a hypothetical victory. Because I don't. When I look at her a see a girl who is not ready for all of this, who doesn't want to be here, who was abandoned by her mother as a baby and now is being told she is some great hero when she simply doesn't see it. So you can yell at me and call me a murderer all you want but the truth is I am just trying to make her have a happy last few months" when he finished I was frozen to the spot with mix of anger and shock. How dare he think that! How dare he think that we are some heartless monster who don't care about her!
"Well I'm sorry to hear that but if you haven't realised you are the one causing the all of those things you complain about you just don't want to see it!" I yelled at him. The first regret now gone from my set of emotions and replaced with a feeling that made me want to blame Finnick for everything that was wrong. "Without you I could have a normal life. I could be a solider and not a stupid protector. A least with that you know where you stand" I added, my brown eyes now a blazing mess.
"You would be a better solider anyway, they don't have to feel" he remarked, turning away from me so I would see the moisture in his eyes.
"Just because you love her doesn't mean you are the only one who loves her. Platonic love isn't inferior, if anything it's superior as it doesn't lead to this amount of aggression and evidently shows more reason as people are able to know when they need to let things go. You may think of Sophia as weak because she abandoned her child but if anything that shows a large amount of strength you could never muster" I was nearly crying too when I finished.
"What happening to us Jo?" Finn asked, his voice now softened and back to the voice of a confused child.
"I don't know Finn" I told him, biting my lip to hold back tears.
Hello! I'm coming to you from at the bottom as I want to talk about this chapter. It was not planed and written in the spur of the moment however it does have some of the most major clues I have given you about the reason for the title ever so now may be the chance to start guessing. The prize is still available so come on and guess why I called this story predicted fate.
As always please review!
