Um, so, I'm incredibly sorry that there's been a two week gap between chapters. I suck, I know - please don't yell at me. Anyway, here is chapter fifteen dear lord. Please don't yell at me after reading either, there may be angst ahead.. and a lot more dialogue than I'm used to writing.

If you want the full on angst effect, click HERE, for the song that I was listening to whilst writing. Let me know what you think, as always!

"What?"

Stiles sighed heavily, his voice quiet and hoarse as he repeated his words in a broken whisper.

"Lydia, I can't. I can't do this - this thing with you anymore…''
The girl frowned and dipped her head to hide her always expressive eyes from the boy. She sat in his lap, her legs on either side of his hips. Stiles felt her body tense on top of his own. The air was still and silent for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Lydia lifted her chin, allowing Stiles to meet her gaze. Her bottom lip was captured between teeth, her cheeks still flushed from his touch before.

"Why not?'' She finally asked.
Stiles swept a lock of strawberry blonde hair away from her face. The neon lights poured into his jeep evasively, the air turning cyan and lilac as it danced across the girls face. His words were stuck in his throat and he stuttered.

"Because, Lydia - I'm falling for you, hard, and I can't keep doing this and then watch you walk away from me afterwards-''
Stiles was cut short as the girl suddenly crawled off of his lap, her long legs hitting the gear stick before she settled on the passenger seat and out of his reach. He sighed.
"It's not been a secret that everyone seems to think I've been in love with you since the third grade, Lydia. I thought I was too''.
Lydia tilted her head and lent against the chair, her brows dipped into a sad frown as she listened to the words that came from her best friend's lips.

"I thought you were gorgeous back then, I always did, still do. And I knew you were smart, amazingly so - and I loved that. But I wasn't in love with you, not yet anyway''. Stiles wiped a hand across his tired face.
"And then three years ago you somehow became a part of my circle of friends. A part of Scott's pack and even through all the shit that we had to deal with, I was still in awe over the fact that we hung out''.

Lydia smiled slightly, her lips quirking at the boy's words.
"I got to know you, really know you and it was great. We were friends and we did friend stuff together and studied… and then you kissed me in the locker room. We never spoke about it and to be honest I almost thought I'd made it up. So I told myself to forget about it and that it meant nothing. Even though that killed me, Lydia, it really did''.
The girl opened her lips to speak, her eyes watering slightly at the sadness in her friends voice. He merely shook his head at her and continued to talk. He needed to tell her everything before his bravery faded.

"You dated Aiden and a few other guys here and there. I even got myself a girlfriend. But Lydia, when I was with Malia - either hanging out and talking or whatever - it wasn't the same. She didn't make me laugh like you, she didn't leave me speechless like you, she didn't constantly infuriate me like you did - like you still do. She was nice and I liked her - don't get me wrong. But I knew it straight away, she wasn't you and that was a problem''.

"Stiles…''

"And then when I kissed her - it was strange. You, that day in the locker room, you made everything stop. All the shitty pain from supernatural assholes, all the worrying, everything. You literally made time stop and god, Lydia, it almost killed me. Kissing Malia was nice and all, but she didn't stop the world rotating and she didn't make me wanna throw her over my shoulder and hide her in my room forever''.

Lydia let out a watery chuckle at his words and the image he created for her. Her eyes teared up but she refused to let them fall, her gaze trained on the collar of Stiles' checked shirt. She couldn't meet his eyes. Not after what he had said to her, what he had told her. What she knew he was still to tell her.

"Lydia, my point is - I've known you for over a decade, we've been friends for three years, almost four. I'm not the kid who was so sure he knew what love was at eleven years old anymore, okay? We've been through a lot together - some would say too much. We've saved each others lives countless times and helped each other study for biology exams at four thirty on a Monday morning''.

Stiles reached over, taking Lydia's tiny hand in his larger one.
"I know you love red gummy worms. You hate the left side of the bed and you look adorable when you've just woken up. You get drunk so easily and I know you vandalized the ''warning coyotes'' sign in the forest last year. I know you're scared but I need you to know now, I need you to know that I'm about to tell you this 'cause I can't just be the friend you fall into bed with when you're drunk or bored anymore. I'm completely in love with you, Lydia. More and more every fucking day and with every goddamn kiss you give me''.

Stiles swallowed heavily after his admission, his chest rising and falling rapidly with each breath he took. He watched the girl with careful eyes, her hand still captured in his own. Eternity passed before Lydia let out a slow, long exhale - her breath uneven and stuttered. Wide, green eyes rose to meet Stiles' gaze, her own full of unshed tears.
"Stiles, you don't love me''.

"Lydia, what the fu-''

"You can't love me Stiles and I can't love you because everything will get ruined''. The girls voice was eerily steady and calm as she spoke to Stiles. The boy sat with a slack jaw and disbelief in his eyes.

"Lydia Martin, don't tell me I don't love you, don't fucking insult me like that'', Stiles bit out harshly, his body tense at her coolness. She seemed so distant despite the small space that was actually between them. Stiles wished nothing more to pull her back into his lap and make her see sense.
Instead, Lydia gently but firmly removed her hand from his own.

"We live in a world where demons are real and death is round every corner, Stiles. Supernatural beings are part of our lives and monsters do hide under the fucking bed. I'm a banshee - I predict death, I'm the goddamn scorekeeper for these things - okay, Stiles? You can't love me and I can't love you cause bad will happen - just like it always does''.

"Lydia… it doesn't work that way, you know that-''

"Yes it does, Stiles, we don't live in a fairy tale in case you haven't noticed''.

"Yeah I'm aware of that Lydia! I've watched all these shitty things chase down our friends like a bad episode of 'Scooby Doo' as well, okay?! But guess what, we get up, brush ourselves off and keep living. What about Alison and Scott, huh? Or Ethan and Danny?''

"It's different, they're different''.

"For fu- how, Lydia, how are they different from us?'' Stiles voice had went from frustrated to soothing and then back to angry within minutes. His patience was long lost as Lydia refused to meet his gaze as she spoke to him monotonously. All emotion seeped from her body and left her cold inside, slightly broken and completely helpless to Stiles pleas.

She shrugged and Stiles almost growled. Despite his rough words he gently took her chin in his hand, turning it tenderly until she met his stare. The emotions that she had tried so hard to keep out leaked back into her wide eyes and a new burst of tears made their way to the surface.
Why did he complicate things, why couldn't they have just stayed Special Friends…

"Lydia, you kept telling me that I can't love you, but I do okay? I've never been more sure of that fact in all of the years I've known you. So please, don't tell me I goddamn can't'', he growled.
Lydia watched Stiles with tear stained cheeks and parted lips. She almost wept as his thumb brushed her bottom lip.

"You also said that you can't love me either… not that you didn't love me. You can love me Lydia, there's no rules against it, I promise. You just need to tell me if you do. Lydia…?''

Blood pounded in her ears as all the oxygen in the world left her lungs, her lips, her body. She stared into the chocolate brown eyes of her best friend and felt the soft pad of his thumb brush over her lips again. She tasted salt as another tear rolled down her cheek and between her lips.
She breathed in the fresh, minty scent that was purely Stiles, the scent that clung to his jersey that was stuffed under her pillow.
She sucked in a shuddering breath and turned away from his touch and his gaze. Her body turned to stone under his stare as she faced the window.
Her words left her body in a whisper and Lydia winced as if they had caused her genuine pain. She was almost sure they had. They burned as they caught in her throat, tasting like acid as they left her lips.
"Just take me home, Stiles, please''.