LionsandTrolls: plleeeaasuure!

DeadGirl19: you are dead, and a girl, and 19. I am sleepy. Sorry. Thanks! CHOOSE YOUR PUFF

Warning: this is going to be a rant.

IT IS SO UNFAIR! I mean, I get back from no bloody internet for three whole days, and then what does my oldest brother do? He goes and makes my parents so mad they turn off the bloody rooter for four bloody days because a different brother is going away and so doesn't need to rooter for anything, and apparently my addiction to ffnet is not important enough to warrant the internet being out back on, and if I get off ffnet for a couple of days it might be good?! This is really sad but, hello parents. I cannot sleep because I have a bloody addiction to this and if I get off it I have to be let off slowly or I get rally tense and can't sleep! WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING ME FOR MY BROTHER'S MISTAKES? HE REPENTS! And now I have to use a friend's internet to post chapters.

Sorry for all the bloody's, but I read a book with a lot of them in recently and what can I say... I speak like the characters from books. I literally pick up how they talk and speak like that. It really confuses my friends... Or at least it used too.

Disclaimer. 0: I do not believe that Derek Landy is restricted by what his parents or siblings do, so I am obviously not him. And so I cannot own these characters, or whatever. But I'm making up the plot so if you like it you best be bloody grateful. I am tired. Exuse my meanness, sorry, I apologise.

Valkyrie was getting worried. Not about the fall- she had expected it to take a long time and she had some water and granola bars so she wouldn't die if it took too long- when she got halfway through she would start flying back up- but about Gordon not coming up to meet her. He had last time, so why not this time? Although... Last time Skulduggery and her had been using magic.

Valkyrie clicked the fingers on one hand while snapping the palm of the other against the air. The flame lit up the darkness and she could see the crevice that she was in was very big. In fact it was huge, Val thought as she increased her downward-speed. Her flame didn't even illuminate both sides it was so vast! And... She was hurtling downwards at quite a speed. The rock walls were rushing past so quickly that her eyes couldn't define any details. Valkyrie wasn't certain if that was good or bad. If she stopped right now she would possibly be crushed with the force of her sudden cease of movement, but it meant that she would find Gordon more quickly. Hmm. Maybe Darquesse would know. Oh Dark Weasel? She mind-called. Come out of your corner and answer meeee! Her royal-darkness answered sulkily.

It is good. You get there swiftly, get a dragon, and you won't be crushed because I would heal you. Why won't you let me out? Valkyrie sniffed haughtily.

Why couldn't I heal myself, eh? She said.

Beceuase I am you. I am the improved version of you because I am you at your powerful core. Surface-you can't heal herself because she doesn't have the limitless power I do. Haha.

Bitch. Now I'm putting you back in your corner, Val told her. Darquesse didn't protest, and was soon just a spectator to Valkyrie's endless fall once again.

She was soon brought back out again.

I spy with my little eye... Something beginning with W. Val grinned.

Wall. Darquesse observed.

Huuuuh! Val gasped in outrage. Did you cheat?! Did you mind watch? Darquesse wasn't very happy with Vpthe accusation.

No I did not! Of course it is a bloody wall, what else begins with a W here? Valkyrie agreed with this point, unhappy with losing her turn.

I spy with my non-existant eye... Something beginning with H.

Umm... Valkyrie didn't know this one. Hair? She asked.

Nope, Darquesse answered smugly. Try again.

Fine. Is it... Hal... Hi... He... Ha... Ho... Hr... I don't know, she admitted sadly after trying all the combinations she could without getting an answer. What is it? Darquesse refused to tell Val the answer.

Nope. I'm going to keep that one for another day. Now, my turn again! I spy with my non-existant eye... Something beginning with F. Valkyrie searched her mind for an answer. Fingernails? Fingernail? Finger? Freckles? Fin? Fraternise? Frink? Frank? F- FIRE! She mind-screamed. Yep! Your turn, Darquesse said happily before retreating to the dark, unobserved depths of Val's mind while the black-haired girl fangirled.

OH MY BLOODY GOSH- IT'S GORDON! IT'S MY DRAGON! IS HE FLYING? AM I GOING TO DIE? NOPE, HE'S STAYING STILL! HE'S ON THE FLOOR! AHH-MY WORD! ERMAGODS. GORDON! GORDON HONEY, I'M COMING TO GET YOU! STAY! Valkyrie rocketed towards the ground at breakneck speed- literally, if she kept this up she would break her neck while trying to stop- while the firey red blob in the distance grew unmistakebly larger.

"Gordon, sweetie?" Val asked the dragon uncertainly as she flew closer. "Look at me honey. Say hi to your new BF. Please be alive." The epic mass of the creature curled uncomfortably on the ground as he struggled to lift his head. Managing it, Gordon glared at Val and spit a blob of- lava?- at her. Slitted black eyes burned with rage that certainly filled the dragon to the core and spoke of his untrainable aspect. Valkyrie wasn't put off. "C'mon Beastie. Talk to me. Stay with me. You're going to be my new pet! My best friend! Just stay alive... For me?" The massive head flopped back onto the floor. Gordon's shield-big scales rustled nastily as he curled up and twisted around something. His treasure? Whatever it was, Val felt sure he would share it with her. They were best friends! Poor Skulduggery; now he was without a Val. But anyway, Gordon was unmistakably ill. He was a dull red- almost rusty- and Val was worried that he would die soon if her wasn't seen by a doctor... Vet? Valkyrie wondered if Kenspeckle could fix dragons... And then she remembered that Kenspeckle was dead. Sad. She had liked him. And she didn't trust Nye. He had tried his upmost best to kill her- it was kind of hard to!

Biting the head off one if her granola bars, Val composed a plan of how she would gain the dragons trust and so help him. "Granola bar?" She asked him. He growled threateningly. "No? Okay, okay." And just like that her plan was ruined. Damn. Val let her flame go out and rose into the air a bit, hovering with a small, continuous burst of magic.

Gordon gave a massive shudder and was still. Valkyrie immediately dropped herself to the floor and ran up to Gordon's head in panic. "No! Oh dear, no! You can't die!" Gordon's eyes stayed closed in rebellion. Valkyrie stared running around in a panic. "Gordon! Oh no, sweetie! But... You're the last dragon! You have to live! And I love you! Please…" she asked. "Please." But the dragon was dead. Valkyrie started sobbing.

Climbing up Gordon's snout, eye ridges, head and onto his neck and then shoulders was an ordeal, and one Valkyrie partook while her eyes were clouded with tears. Her dragon was dead.

Life would never be the same again. Valkyrie reached for a firm grip on a scale.

She would never recover from this agonising failure.

Reaching for one of the dragons spines, Val slipped. A startled scream was torn from her throat as she fell. Tumbling down the massive flank of Gordon, Valkyrie knew that without her protective clothing her skin would have been ripped to shreds by now. Bruising and battering her tired body, Gordon's scales poked and scratched the girl's skin.

She would never recover from this agonising failure.

Hooking her arm around a claw, Val steadied hersef while realising that the claw was nearly bigger than her. And... Why was the paw now on the outside? Val opened her eyes and gazed around her. She noted the large cluster of 3D ovals, the soft sand which she was standing on, the fading heat that had barely been there before of Gordon's body.

That was when Valkyrie realised what she was standing in. She looked around again in wonder- was she really here?

Skulduggery Pleasant to was bored. He flicked his flame on and off as he made himself sly downwards quickly, but it wasn't very amusing. ... Hello. He spoke to Lord Vile. Lord... Even as an evil person he still chose a worthy name. I did, didn't I. Vile responded.

Wasn't talking to you. Skulduggery glared.

I wasn't talking to you either. I was talking to my hat.

Exuse me? Skulduggery raised a gloved hand to his favourite purple-ribboned hat.

You heard what I said, Vile told him. She prefers me over you. Ha.

Skulduggery felt his legendary anger rising. No she does NOT!

Like it? It's long! And it's got a rant... Yeah. The revuew replies were written when I actually had internet again and so are not written in an annoyed fashion. Grr.

I still love my reviewers, don't ever stop! It's not your fault, and if you leave I will stalk your stories and write you really long reviews so you come back -_-

Mwahahaaa. ;)

READ THIS AND TALK TO ME!

You get to choose a dragon... Make one up.

Who's character is it? (Has to be from the books, give me more than one)

What is the personality?

What colour?

Eyes? spines?

Gender?

Any other things you want to add.