A/N: I totally haven't updated in like a whole year, haha. Whoops. Also, sorry about any tonality shifts I may have introduced. Well, more importantly it turns out the crack will be a little bit later down the line, folks. Well, I mean, it'll be here soon but there will be spoonfuls of unhappy emotion with every bite, so technically not really here yet. But soon. Soon!

Chapter 3: Separation

By nature, Zack was an impatient person. Normally, he found ways to entertain himself while he waited - taking random missions, fusing new materia, going for gold at squatting contests... Time passed easily and happily when he did something, even cooped up in his room - working out, cleaning, cooking - anything.

But today was different, as soon as Zack walked into his apartment it was like his balloon of energy deflated: he just felt exhausted. Which was weird because he hadn't felt tired at all - sick with worry, sure, and maybe still sick with a little mako poisoning, but not tired in the least. But now, looking around at the little place he sometimes slept ('sometimes' because he mostly crashed at Seph's place), Zack couldn't bring himself to do more than walk to the bed. And sit.

For some reason, sitting there - in his apartment all alone and hunched over in exhaustion - made Zack feel like the world was just coming down on his shoulders and crushing him with all its might. All he could think about was Sephiroth, laying in the tub, dying for all he knew. When the Third took too deep a breath he remembered the way Hojo had examined him, him and not Sephiroth. And then he remembered the white coats scurrying around Seph's apartment, how they hadn't seem to be doing anything and looking terrified at the same time. And god, Seph… Seph's glassy eyes, and the way the heat had just radiated off of him. Zack felt real and true horror crawl up his spine the more he thought about it, and the more he thought about it the more he just wanted to run back up to Seph's apartment and break the door down. Angeal or no.

So Zack stopped thinking for a while. He did the dishes, threw out the bad food in his fridge, organized his materia collection, restocked his mission kit, cleaned his sword, and even managed to pick up all his dirty uniforms off the floor. There was a certain numbness that followed his every movement, as he walked on auto-pilot trying desperately not to think about anything.

Zack didn't like the way he felt. At all. He didn't like the emptiness that had replaced the worry, it was almost just as terrifying, so - when he ran out of things to do - he did squats. He did them until he couldn't breathe, until he was dripping in sweat, until his thighs burned, and until sweat stung his eyes. Afterward, he collapsed on the bed, gasping and panting. But he still didn't feel any better than he did before, or even worse. Just more tired.

Angeal called an hour after that - by the time Zack's sweat had dried and just before he rolled onto the floor and did some push-ups to pass the time - and the First didn't even get a word before Zack squawked out, "How's Seph?"

"Sephiroth is fine, Zack." There was definitely a hint of exasperation in Angeal's voice, but he didn't say anything else. Nothing more than those four words. What kind of update was that?

"Fine?" Zack knew Angeal never stopped at 'fine' when he was reporting someone's status - especially not a friend's. It was usually a 'fine' followed up by a 'resting in the infirmary' or 'patched up for now.' Never just a simple 'fine.' "Is he really okay? He's not hurting or- "

"He's fine. Don't worry. Just get some sleep."

"But, Angeal - " how could someone be fine after that? After literally boiling water with a fever? That wasn't normal. Zack couldn't just go to sleep without more information!

"And remember to report to training tomorrow."

And just like that Angeal hung up. Without even a goodbye! Come to think of it the guy didn't even say hello either, but still! Zack stared at his PHS for a long while, too shocked to do more than that.

Angeal was never secretive about health updates. Ever. Not even that one time when Angeal told him Goldy – the Allemagne he brought back from a mission – had died. Zack's mentor had been very clear in explaining the how and why in graphic detail (who knew they could overdose on eyedrops?). So Zack couldn't fathom why now was any different?

But thinking about the conversation just reignited Zack's irrational – but maybe not too irrational considering his lover had been boiling water that last he saw him – fears.

In fact, thinking about it sent bolts of worry down to his core: Sephiroth wasn't fine at all. But why would Angeal, of all people, lie through his teeth like that? Was he just as clueless as Zack about Seph's status? That – that was almost as terrifying as thinking that Angeal was lying. If Angeal knew, then he could be there at Seph's side – at least someone would be there, even if it wasn't Zack.

But, oh, how much Zack wished he were there at Seph's bedside. Weren't lovers supposed to be there for each other when times were rough? When you were sick or injured or even just having a bad day? Hell, that was what friends did even! The more friends around when you got sick, the better! Being with someone when you were feeling bad was so much better than being alone. But... Seph wasn't going to be alone. Angeal was going to be there. Wasn't he?

But what if he got called away, would it just be better if Zack was there instead then he could make sure Seph wasn't alone –

Planet! Zack shook the thoughts out of his head with a groan. This wasn't working. His brain was going in circles and the more he ruminated on the problem, the more convoluted everything became. It was like hysteria was just waiting outside his door, waiting for the invite to join the party. And Zack knew getting worked up wasn't going to solve anything at all. So he gave up trying to think about it and went to sleep.

But he didn't really sleep, Just tossed, and turned, and bunched the blankets around his legs, and stared up at the ceiling. And thought.

Last night, Zack had seen that something was wrong – hell, he had known something was off the moment Seph walked in the door. But he had ignored each and every alarm bell just to get his brains banged out. Maybe if he had actually tended to Seph instead of listening to his dick they might not be in this position – separated, Seph sick and dying, and Zack sick with worry. Maybe they might be in the medical bay, with Seph already on the recovery and sharing a quiet joke with Zack in the quiet of the night...

But that wasn't real – it was only a daydream. And reality... memories of Seph in the bathroom haunted Zack. Whenever the Third closed his eyes, he could see the look of agony on his lover's face. Every time he rubbed his palm against the pillow he could feel the unhealthy heat radiating off of Seph's body. And every time he clutched at the sheets he remembered that horrible helplessness gnawing in the pit of his stomach when he hadn't been able to do anything to help.

It was actually surprising that he managed to sleep at all – even if he couldn't remember which parts of his sleep were dreams and which were memories. All he knew was that he woke up exhausted.

Out of habit, Zack checked the time when he opened his eyes. It was a reasonable five in the morning. It was the kind of reasonable that Zack would normally thrown his phone in the wall for and go back to sleep, but also the kind of reasonable that usually had Seph already knee-deep in paperwork post-morning workout. So, Zack dialed up his cell.

Seph was a morning person. And if the silver general was really and truly fine, like Angeal had promised him last night, Seph would pick up the phone. See, Seph had this habit of picking up the phone after three rings - actually more like five seconds into the song that Zack changed his ringtone to, but details. But, strangely, it only rang once. And went straight to voicemail. Not even the sexy voicemail that Seph had set up just for him either.

Zack tried once more, just to make sure he wasn't imagining things. He only left a message on the third time.

"Hey Seph. How are you feeling? I've been super worried about you and I just – I mean…" Zack felt all the emotions threaten to spill out of his mouth right then, like a tangled mess of hysteria or something. Seph didn't need to hear that. "Give me a ring when you're feeling better, 'kay? I'll be harrassing 'Geal for updates so…" I'll talk to you soon sounded wrong. Just as out of place as: I want to hold you safe in my arms. I want to kiss you better. I love you so much that I can't bear to see you hurting anymore. "I expect a call!"

Zack flipped the phone before he could start babbling. It wouldn't have been a pretty babble, nothing like what he and Seph shared in the night over the pillows, it would have been gross and painful to listen to. It was something Seph – whether sick or happy – needed to hear.

Instead, Zack took a breath and dialed another number: Seph's office. If Seph was indeed ready and raring to go, the guy would already be back in the office by now. But the phone continued to ring - too early for the aide to be in and start taking calls. And apparently too early for Seph to be in either.

It was tempting to stay on the line, to just let the phone ring and wait for Seph, but Zack hung up. It was time to give up on the phone. No matter how much he stared at it, he wasn't getting any closer to contacting Seph with it. Contacting Seph like this was just about as useful as yelling through the floor. Clearly it was time to visit.

Zack almost just rolled onto the floor and out the door, but he caught a whiff of himself as he rose from the bed. That was when he remembered that he hadn't showered either the stink of medical or body odor off of him. Neither of which were things Seph would appreciate.

Zack stretched wrangling with a yawn before wandering into the bathroom. He glanced at the mirror and gave himself a once over. None of the marks Seph made had remained (which Zack didn't know was a good or bad thing), and aside from the frown Zack looked just as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as always. Potions worked wonders. Except... huh, he must have been imagining things.

Zack lifted his arm again. Sure enough, under the bush of armpit hair, there was a dark purple bruise. Which was weird because the potion should have cleared up all those things. So how did he get this new one? No way he had been that out of it yesterday. Or was he? Did he just, like, dive bomb a railing? Maybe flailed too hard in bed? Just... how?

After a few experimental pokes at the skin and tugs at his hairs, Zack decided the bruise was nothing to worry about. It didn't hurt and it's not like he waved his arms around like a crazy, most of the time anyways, so no one would notice. Plus it wasn't like Seph had this weird fascination with his pits – not like Lux (at least that guy was off on a mission). And Angeal didn't lift his arms to check for ticks unless it was after a mission in some grasslands. Totally nothing to worry about.

Zack lifted his other arm, mostly out of curiosity; after all it wasn't often you just got one underarm bruise. Okay, that was bizarre. Well, at least there was only one bruised hairy - and stinky whew! - pit to worry about. So Zack let it be and took a quick shower. He made sure to use the soap that Seph picked out for him (and tried not to think too hard about the last time he'd been in the bathroom with Seph).

Now dressed, ready, with a protein bar half stuffed in his mouth, Zack all but flew up the tower. Well, it's not like he could fly, so he just took the quickest most fastest route: the emergency stairwell. And it was almost like flying when he used his most jumpingest of jumping techniques. Easily three times faster than running up. Somewhere along the line he dropped his protein bar, but whatever. He double-timed it once he got to the living quarters floor and stoof outside his favorite door. Well, only his favorite when it was opened, but details. He was at Seph's apartment at last! That was all that mattered! Soon he would have his arms full of Seph and he would kiss away all the badness!

Except there was a small problem. No, scratch that – super duper major problem. The code didn't work. It was a super special code, one tied to his key card and thumb print combination – the one that Seph gave him the day he realized that Zack was totally breaking into his apartment with or without his consent with all those nifty tricks he learned from Reno – and it wasn't working. Worse than not working, was the fact that these bright, red letters that read 'UNAUTHORIZED' practically glared at him from the code pad.

After five times it blinked a very rude 'LOCK OUT' and beeped up at him. That was just it. Zack was throwing in the towel. It was time to knock.

So he knocked, quietly. Just a few raps and a few minutes of waiting. Seph always came when he knocked: said he recognized the pattern as Zack's. If Seph was really fine like Angeal had told him, his lover would totally come to the door. Unless he was out at medical or something, or maybe even in a meeting (but Seph had totally walked out of meetings for Zack before so why would now be any different?) – but Zack was a tenacious little fucker and he was going to wait here until the door opened, even if it took all day.

And when Seph didn't answer. Zack kept knocking. Louder and louder and louder - so loud that his ears run. Maybe if he pounded hard enough he could break the door down! And then he would finally be there with Seph and they would slow-mo hug like in the movies and -

The door swooshed open and Zack barely managed to keep from throwing his fists into someone's chest. Someone's very not-Sephiroth chest.

"For the love of the Goddess! Will you stop it! You're giving me a headache and I have enough to deal with you little brat!"

Of all the people who could have opened that door, Genesis was the very last person Zack had been expecting (well, maybe not last but pretty low on the list). So Zack just sort of stood there. He was struck pretty dumb at his superior's presence, even dumber when he realized the state of the First. He was wild-eyed (not unusual for Genesis), his hair looked as wild as a Bandersnatch's, and he was pretty much almost one hundred percent nude. Zack did a quick once over just to make sure he had seen that wrong. Yup. Not a scrap of clothing at all.

There were a bunch of things Zack wanted to ask. Things like: what are you doing here? Why are you naked? Did you hump the couch cushion and that's why Seph hates that one? Was Seph okay? Was Seph even here? If he wasn't there where was he?

Instead all he got out was, "Can I see Seph?"

Genesis seemed perfectly content to stand there, brow quirked, unmoving, and totally nude. If it were any other time in the world (except maybe strip poker night) Zack might have been flustered, or worse – jealous. But all he wanted right now, all his brain cells could focus on, was Seph. And as much as Zack wanted to just squeeze through the door – Genesis was blocking it. Pretty effectively at that. He looked fresh out of a pin-up magazine with a wide stance and his elbows on the frame. And as much as Zack really wanted to try squeezing in (the space between his legs looked wide enough to fit through), Gen could throw him across the hall even easier than Angeal could – and he never played nice about it.

Genesis just rolled his eyes and sighed a long and, in Zack's humble opinion, a bit dramatic of a sigh, "Go and find a stick to play with, Fair. The mighty silver general isn't seeing anyone."

"But you're here." Zack didn't want to sound like he was pointing out the obvious or anything, but, uh… it was kind of obvious.

"Puh-lease. I'm here looking after Sephy. Besides," Genesis said the words as he actually took a step inside. An opening! "He doesn't even want to look at you."

Zack froze right before he could make the lunge. The words hit him like a washbasin. That was… no, that couldn't be right. There was no way Seph didn't want to look at him. Even when Seph said that Zack was the absolute last person he wanted to see, the guy was still happy to see him! With a pout - Gen was kind of weak to them after all - Zack looked up at his superior. "Why not? I just want to see that he's fine! I'll be in and out lickety-split!"

Genesis was completely unphased by the puppy-dog eyes! In fact, he even pushed Zack away without even batting an eyelash. "Trust me, he's fine. More than fine, actually." He wiggled his hips in a very saucy manner. Too saucy, if you asked Zack. But that wasn't important, Zack told the pang in his gut, he didn't need to think about that. "Now go away."

Zack realized the door was about to close. "Genesis - !"

"Do I have to order you, Fair?" Genesis had this tone, this 'you-don't-think-I-would-do-you?' tone. Zack really hoped he didn't. Orders were pretty much the only thing he was weak against. Scoffing this time, Genesis shook his head. "Fine. You are forbidden to make contact with Sephiroth. For ever. Is that order clear?"

"But!" Now Genesis just sounded more like a kid than Zack! How could he wait for forever and never see Seph!? "Forever is like ever and ever! I can't wait that long!"

Genesis simply tossed his hair. "It is eternity. Now, if you don't mind..." The red general was moving back into the apartment, it was another perfect opening: one that Zack was going to take this time.

"No way!" Zack shouted as he threw himself forward. He didn't get very far before colliding into Genesis flesh. Two hands gripped his forearms and Zack spluttered out a very classy, "Ack!" as his momentum was stopped.

And, oh, Zack could just smell Seph from the inside of the apartment. He could smell the sweat that lingered in the hallway, the rich flavors of his shampoo, and the lingering traces of pizza still in the air... it smelled like home. Zack didn't realize he had started to relax until Genesis made a weird sound in the back of his throat.

"Ugh! Get off me you filthy mutt." The red general threw Zack out the door. At least it was only that far and not, well, the wall (or even out a window, or off the plate, or out of Midgar, or even into the ocean!).

"I showered!" Zack pouted as he righted himself. Genesis still looked disgusted, and very unimpressed, at his attempt. "Aww, c'mon Genesis! Let me in!" Zack realized he probably shouldn't have said anything. Not with Genesis's face warping with every word.

"That's it." Genesis sneered. "If you so much as try to contact Sephiroth I will cut off your balls. And then his." He added that last part as almost an afterthought. "Is that clear, SOLDIER?"

Zack's hands threw to his mouth as he gasped in horror. How could someone be so mean?! Geneis wouldn't really do that right? "But - "

"Is. That. Clear?" Genesis's voice was like steel, and Zack found his back straighten and his will crack.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." And with that, Genesis bounced back inside and the door swished closed.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." And with that, Genesis bounced back inside and the door swished closed.

There was silence in the hall as Zack stood, trying to understand what had just happened. Because, really, he had no idea what had just happened. And the only idea that his mind could think of just couldn't be true. There was no way Gen and Geal would be keeping him away from Seph.

They couldn't be because why would they? There… there was no reason for them to do that. Sure, he didn't have the same clearance level as them or anything, but it was absolutely no reason for them to keep him away from Seph like this; the broke security clearance like fifteen times already! There had to be a real reason behind all this.

But, Planet, Zack just wanted to see Seph. He didn't want to deal with this weird dance around Angeal and Genesis anymore, he didn't want to be sick with worry. All he needed to do was see Seph - happy and fine and maybe even asleep (maybe doing that cute little snore he swore he never did) - and then Zack would leave the generals be to whatever secret meeting thing they had planned from the get go.

Zack dug out his phone, with full intents of disobeying orders. No way Genesis would actually chop anyone's balls off. And if he just got the answering machine, he could hear Seph's voice (god, how desperate was that?).

Just as Zack flipped open his PHS, his thumb hovering over speed dial, an alarm went off. It was the sound of frogs being mischievous in the forest. The alarm he always set five minutes before training.

Well… Zack could put off calling Seph for now. And, maybe moving around would help keep his mind off of things. Zack took a breath. Yeah, it totally would.