"What's wrong babe? You look flustered." He asks, glancing in my direction. "Babe?"
"Hmmm? What?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I umm..." I look down at my phone. I am going to kill Luke when I get home. "I'm great. I'm fine." I reply, trying to conceal my lie. Ashton just nods and focuses back on his driving.
After a couple of silent minutes, he takes one of his hands off of the steering wheel and places it on my leg. "Sooo... I know you're still new to this but umm, instead of playing cards maybe we could do something else." He winks at me.
"Seriously?" I ask, a little in shock that he's so eager to go at it again.
"No, I'm just messing around." He giggles. I don't, I'm not really in the mood. "I'm sorry." He says guiltily, letting go of my leg.
"No it's fine. I'm just tired is all. And I was really looking forward to cards." I laugh half-heartedly, since I'm still a little distracted.
He just smiles and nods. "Cards it is then." After 20 minutes or so, we pull up to the house. He drops me off in the front so that he can go park the car in the back. I get out of the car and grab my purse as I watch him drive towards the garage. Once I'm sure he can't see me, I barge in through the front door and see Luke sitting on the couch.
"What the hell is wrong with you!" I shout.
Startled, he turns around to look at me. "What?" he says surprised.
"Are you fucking nuts!? Why the hell do you think it would be okay to go dress shopping with me!" I shout. I admit I wasn't making much sense but I was pretty confused at the moment.
"What? You said you were bored and I was bored too. I wanted to get out of the house!" He yells.
"Don't give me that bullshit Luke."
He pauses for a moment. "I'm assuming the date didn't go well?"
"No. You'll be unhappy to hear that it actually went just fine." Except for that whole slip up half way through but he doesn't have to know about that. "In fact it was amazing. He's amazing and I love him. Do you understand what that means Luke?!" All of these things were coming out of my mouth so fast, I wasn't even thinking about what I was saying.
"I don't even know what the hell you're talking about!" He defends himself.
"Yes you do! He's your best friend. What's the matter with you!" Before I can say anything else Ashton walks into the house, totally unaware of the yelling and the shouting that had been going on seconds before. Luke's face goes white. "Hey Luke. What are you doing up?" Ashton asks.
"I was just watching TV. I couldn't sleep. But Dani said you guys had an amazing night." Luke says.
"She just said amazing? I would say perfect." Ash says, giving me a peck on the cheek. I blush and smile. He always finds a way to make me happy, even when I'm down, even when he doesn't realize it.
"Well I'm gonna head to bed then." Luke says staring at me, his face sunken in and his eyes glazed with confused sadness. He walks upstairs as I wait for the sound of his bedroom door closing. Ashton turns to me and smiles. "Sooo...cards!?" He walks to the dresser in the living room and pulls out a deck. "Cards." I smile as he guides me to the couch.
We sit down across from one another as he shuffles the cards. I'm still furious at Luke and I keep getting distracted. "So what are we playing my love?" I snap out of my dazed anger and focus back on my boyfriend.
"Anything's fine."
"How about strip poker?" He raises one eyebrow and gives me a teasing look as he pretends to slowly unbutton his shirt. I glare at him and he laughs "I'm just kidding babe, go fish?" I smile a little. God this boy.
"Sure." He deals out the cards and we start to play. After about 15 minutes I have 3 cards left and need to get rid of them. "Got any 7s?" I ask him with my cards in front of my face.
"Maybe..." He replies. I reach out my hand and snap my fingers.
"Hand them over!"
"No! They're my sevens!" He gets up and starts running around the room with his card in his hand.
"Hey! That card is meant for me!" I scream and run after him. I chase him a little and have him cornered in the kitchen. All of a sudden he turns off the lights. I fumble around for the switch and see his feet disappear up the stairs. Oh it's on. I run after him, almost tripping on the stairs. I watch him run into his room and know that there's no way he's getting out of there, so I follow him. When I open the door he's sprawled across the bed with the card clenched in between his teeth. That cheeky son of a bitch.
I lean against the door frame and laugh a little. "Wow, real smooth." He chuckles and takes the card out of his mouth.
"If you want the card you're going to have to take it from me." He puts the card back in his mouth and I roll my eyes. Sometimes I feel like I'm dating a 7 year old.
"Fine." I walk over to the bed and reach for the card.
"Na-uh" he mumbles. He takes his fingers and points to his lips. "Wih your teeh." He manages to say with the card still in his mouth. I smile and shake my head at the stupid request but hey, why not? I'm a 7 year old at heart. I climb onto the bed as seductively as I can but at the same time, I'm trying to making a huge joke about it. He starts laughing which makes it hard to keep a straight face but I manage. I lean forward to grab the card with my teeth and he quickly takes the card out of his mouth and puts his hand on the back of my head, pulling me in for a kiss. Duh. Man, this boy sure does go through a lot of trouble just to get a kiss.
His other hand goes to my back and pushes me down on top of him. I smile into the kiss when I think about his lame attempt at seduction. He smiles as well and I roll over next to him without my lips leaving his. We continue kissing and he moves his hand to the small of my back. I lift my leg and wrap it around his legs.
I finally pull away, breathing heavily. "You're such a dork." I say. He kisses me again causing me to laugh a little.
"Why thank you M'lady" he says, re-using the nickname from the date earlier today. I yawn a little and look at the time, it's 2 in the morning. It can't possibly be that late, can it?
I look back at him. "Is someone tired?" He asks.
I yawn again and nod. "Maybe just a little" I close my eyes and lean against him. He's quiet for a while. All I can hear is his breathing.
Right before I fall asleep he shifts under me. "Dani, you can't sleep in that dress." He whispers into my ear.
"Mmmm." I moan grumpily. Yes I can. Ugh.
"C'mon." He places his hands on my waist and leans me up so he can unzip my dress. At this point I'm too tired to really care. He helps me out of my dress and gives me one of his shirts to slip over. I lie back down on his bed while he gets out of his clothes. He crawls back into bed with just his boxers and pulls me close. I turn around so that my back is against his chest. His arm wraps around my waist as he kisses my head. "Goodnight babe, I love you."
Ignoring the rough moment at the beach, tonight was perfect. Although, I know I'll have to do something about this Luke issue. "Goodnight, love you too." I say in a voice so quiet I'm surprised he even reacted to the sound. He kisses the back of my head again and strokes my stomach through the shirt.
He fell asleep soon after that but I couldn't manage to follow his lead, no matter how exhausted I was. I need to sort this out, now.
I stayed in bed, awake, for a few more minutes just to make sure Ashton was really sleeping. Before I get out of bed I turn to look at him. I smile at his relaxed face and run my fingers through his hair. I hate seeing him hurt, even just a little bit. When he said all those things on the beach, I had never felt angrier in my entire life. But I know that if I was happy he was happy so I don't want him to find out that I'm still worried about him.
I slowly release myself from his grasp and walk out the room, slowly closing the door behind me. I wonder if Luke's even awake but it doesn't really matter, I need to talk to him. I realize now that yelling at him isn't the best solution at the moment, but I couldn't help myself. I walk down the hallway until I reach his room. There aren't any lights shining through the bottom of the door, but I knock anyway.
"Luke." I say quietly. I hear him rustle around but the door stays closed. "Luke, please let me in." I plead with him. I hear the sound of footsteps inconsistently moving around the room until finally it stops.
"What do you want?" he says harshly through the door.
"I need to talk to you."
"Why?"
"Because. Just let me in Luke." He doesn't reply. He then opens the door and walks back to his bed and sits down.
"Are you here to yell at me for no reason again?" He scolds.
"No, I'm not going to yell at you right now. I'm done yelling. But I did have a reason." I say.
"And what could that reason possibly be then?" he asks. Ok, now he's just playing dumb. I walk over to sit next to him. I hesitate at first, but I don't want to talk down to him. I sit down on the bed, still keeping my distance.
"Ashton told me what's been going on between you two." I start. Luke doesn't say anything back, he only stares down at his feet.
"Oh." Is all he can say.
"Why would you go shopping with me if you knew what people were saying about Ashton? What would've happened if people saw us at that shop? You know how quick the paps are to jump to conclusions. Imagine the hysteria and the things people would say about him then." I pause, getting a little frustrated now that I'm saying this all out loud. "And the fact that you didn't even think of that. You took advantage of the fact that I didn't know any of this. Ashton was questioning if I loved him tonight. Do you know how that makes me feel? To think that the one person you love doesn't think you love them back? Doesn't realize it? Doesn't believe it." My voice started getting a bit louder. "No, you don't Luke because you've never been in-"
"Yes I do. I know it every time I see you two together! I mean you guys are all OVER each other! You guys just can't keep your hands off each other and I hate it! I see you with him and I know he's my best friend, my brother, but I want to hate him. I want to hate you. Because hating the both of you would be way fucking easier than this. If I hated you we wouldn't be having this conversation. If I hated him I wouldn't feel so goddamn awful about loving you." He chokes on his last words.
I sit there for a moment trying to take in what he just said. He stands up from the bed and runs his hands through his hair. I don't move. I don't say anything. I can't. But I have to. I do the first and only thing that comes into my head. I say the only thing that I can.
"Well you need to get over a girl that can't even stand to be near you." I say angrily. He turns to look at me, his eyes piercing through me. "I hate you." I spit with all the anger in my gut. Before he has the chance to say anything I run out of his room and slam the door behind me. I can hear him groan in anger. Ignoring his frustration, I walk down the hallway and fall to the floor, the tears rushing down my cheeks.
"Shit shit shit shit." I mumble to myself as the tears blur my vision. He loves me!? You've got to be fucking kidding me! Of course I didn't mean what I said to him but I had to try and push him away, after all I'm going to have to get along with him on tour and the best way to do that is to make sure that he doesn't like me anymore. Wait, tour. Shit! He's coming on tour! How the hell is this going to work? Why the hell would he tell me that he loves me!? He knows Ash and I are going strong and he knows we love each other! Why can't he just accept it and move on?! Oh god. This is a nightmare. Ashton can't find out. If he does he'll get pissed and insecure and who knows? He might even start believing those stupid haters. No no no no. Fuck.
I can hear frustrated noises coming from Luke's room: pillows being thrown at the wall and stomping around. You know what, let him be upset. He ruined this. I've only been back in their lives for 2 days and he's already screwing it up. I try to compose myself a little and go into the bathroom to wipe my eyes. They're puffy and red but I'm not crying anymore. No, now I'm just confused. Of course I'd never leave Ashton for Luke but what will this mean for our relationship. After all, Ashton's extra sensitive when it comes to Luke because of the fact that I had a huge crush on him before I started dating him.
I take a couple of breaths and finally walk out the bathroom into the hall. Right as I walk out of the bathroom, Luke walks out of his room, which, of course, happens to be right across from the bathroom. We look at each other for a moment. His eyes are red and puffy, just like mine. He looks disappointed and angry and sad. I look down at his hands and notice car keys in between his fingers.
He breaks his statue-like state and walks toward the stairs. I catch him by his arm trying to hold him back for a second. "Where are you going?" I ask him, worried. I don't want him to leave.
He sniffs and wipes a stray tear from his eye. "Why would you care?" He then yanks his arm out of my grasp before I can answer him. A couple seconds later, the front door slams shut as I'm left stranded at the top of the stairs. "Shit"
I'm sure the loud slam must've woken someone up but it didn't. Man, they must've had pretty long days if they can sleep through that. I don't know what to do. I rush down the stairs and grab my purse. Ash and I left cards flung everywhere so I have to shove them around to find it. I finally do after digging for a while, and take my phone out. It still says that I have 3 missed calls from Luke. I forgot to ask him about those, but I will eventually. That's not the priority right now. I can't be mad at him when I call him, well I have to pretend not to be, otherwise he won't come back. Right now I have to be afraid for him. Where the hell is he going in a city like this at 3 in the morning?
I try to dial his number while my hands are shaking. Lets just say its pretty difficult. The phone rings.
No answer.
"Are you fucking kidding me Luke?" I mumble under my breath, a little exasperated. I keep calling and calling until he finally picks up. "Thank god!" I say, relieved.
"Thank god what? That I answered the damn phone?" Luke says his voice harsh.
"Yes! I was worried about you. Come home!" I quietly shout at him through the phone.
"You have made it pretty clear that you need your distance from me. So no thank you, I won't be coming home tonight."
"Luke, don't be ridiculous! Where are you even going to stay?"
"Why the hell would you care where I stay? You hate me, remember?" He says softly, to soft, an angry type of soft. Before I can say anything he hangs up on me. Fucking jerk. He can go sleep in a hotel room alone if he wants to. I'm not the one who fell in love with my best friends girlfriend. I shiver. Right, that's me. I'm the cause of this. Ugh. I slam the phone down on the table and walk back up the stairs back into Ashton's room.
He's still asleep, thank goodness. I crawl softly into the bed and face him. I run my hands through his hair and lean in to kiss him. "I love you. I love you so so much." I whisper even though I know he can't hear me. I just sigh and tuck my head into his shoulder while restlessly trying to fall asleep.