*The next morning*
I open my eyes to see that Ash has already gotten out of bed. I lay there for a while, thinking about everything that happened last night. It felt like ages ago.
While mapping out the night I suddenly remember Luke. Shit! I throw the covers off my body and jolt out of the bedroom after throwing on a pair of sweatpants I found on the floor. I stand at the top of the stairs, ready to run down and tell the other guys, but hear them talking in hushed tones.
"Where is he?" one of the boys asks, I think Calum.
"I don't know. I heard a slam last night but I didn't think anything of it. I thought maybe you and Dani were still awake." Michael says.
"No, buy 2 am we were both asleep." Ashton answers. I cringe a bit. That was a lie, he just didn't know it. I want to tell the boys that Luke ran out. That he left. But I couldn't without Ashton wondering why I was talking to him last night.
"Well we have to go find him." Calum states, as if it were obvious.
"No, it's fine. He's a big boy he'll come home." Ash says as he looks up at me at the top of the stairs with a saddened look in his eyes. Why is he looking at me like that? Oh god. He knows something.
"Ashton are you kidding me!? We can't just leave h-"
"Yes we can. I'm sure he's fine. If he's smart he'll come home soon." Ashton says, ending the conversation. He then looks back at me and starts walking up the stairs. If Luke was smart then none of this would've happened. "Morning babe." Ash says, giving me a half smile.
I have to say it. I have to tell him. "Ashton, I know where-"
"I know." He says walking past me and into the bedroom. Great. I follow him.
"You heard us?" I ask him, unsure what he was thinking at the moment.
"I heard you get out of bed. And then I heard mumbling coming from his room. And the door slam. And then..." He stops. Did he hear me saying that I love him?
"Did you hear what we were saying?" I ask. I hope to god he didn't.
"Does it matter what you were saying?" he says upset. Shit.
"Yes, it does."
"Why? Why were you even talking to him. Why would you sneak out of bed to go talk to that guy?"
"'That guy', is your best friend. And I had to clear things up with him."
"Sure." He says, not believing me. "Why would he leave the house after you guys just 'cleared things up'?"
"What are you saying!?" I shout. Does he seriously think I'd betray him like that?
"I'm saying that if I was guilty I'd leave the damn house too!"
"What!" He thinks I fucking slept with Luke?! It's been like 2 days since I even had sex for the first time. Does he think so lowly of me? That I'd just jump to the next guy I see?! "No! Did you not hear me last night? When I came in."
"I did. I heard you." Ok, good. "You were saying those things to be reassuring!" Sweet fucking jesus.
"No I meant them!"
"Why would anybody say those fucking words to me and mean them?!" Oh no. "No one ever means those words to me!" Tears threaten to fall down his face as he rushes out the door.
"Fuck!" I mumble under my breath. "Ashton, wait!" I yell and follow him outside. Normally it would be bright outside but the clouds are covering the sky. How cheery. I grab his arm, causing him to turn around.
"Don't fucking touch me right now!" He says pulling his arm away from me. He reacted to my touch as if it was burning his skin. He puts both hands in his hair and makes a frustrated noise. "I thought we talked about this!" He shouts at me.
"We did! Ok!" He turns around and takes a few steps away from me. "Ashton do you have any idea what it's like to have the one person you love not believe you?!" He make an exasperated sound and rolls his eyes. "I love you! I have given my entire heart, body and soul to this relationship. Hell, I've given you EVERYTHING! Yet you still don't believe that I love you. I LOVE YOU! I'll say it a million times until you believe me! I love you. I love you, I love y-"
"Stop!" He puts out his hands, hoping to make me stop with my useless rant. "Just explain to me what the hell you two were doing last night!" His voice cracks at the end of his sentence. I can see the betrayal in his eyes. I take a step closer to him and he crosses his arms.
"I had to talk to him." I have to tell him. I have I tell him everything. I sigh. "Remember in the car on the way home from our date?" He looks at me and nods his head before looking back to the floor. "When I checked my phone I had 3 missed calls from Luke."
"Why did he call you?"
"That's what I've been trying to figure out. When we got home I was pissed because he took advantage of the fact that I didn't know he lo-liked me."
He looks up at my stumble of words. Shit. "Loved you? He loves you!?" Shit.
"No! I just fumbled my words, no!"
"Dani don't lie to me!" Shit. He stopped pacing and was looking me dead in the eye.
"He told me last night." I say quietly, looking at my feet.
"That dick! I'm going to fucking kill him!" He shouts at the air.
"He's your best friend you can't say that! He left last night because I didn't want him to ruin our relationship."
"What?" He looks at me with wild eyes. He's processing a lot of new information right now.
"I told him," I pause and sigh. "I told him that I hated him."
His eyes widen. "You what?!" He seems to have momentarily forgotten his anger towards Luke.
"I know I was selfish! I'm sorry!" Tears start to fill my eyes but I try to hold them back. "Look, I've just messed this whole thing up. I don't want to be the reason the band breaks up. Maybe it's just best I don't go on tour with you guys." I sniff and turn around. 'Maybe it's best we broke up' I think to myself. I immediately push that thought aside. I couldn't imagine doing that, especially now.
I stride into the house and see Calum and Michael looking at my tear streaked face. "Where are the car keys?" I ask them. They've both probably heard the entire argument and don't really know what to do. Michael points shyly to a drawer in the kitchen. Calum hits him on the shoulder as I quickly pull them out and head out of the house.
Ashton's still standing in the front of the house. He looks at me and sees the keys in my hand. He leaps into action the second he realizes what I'm doing. I don't need this right now.
"Where are you going? Dani! Stop!" He grabs my arm in attempts to stop me. I just pull away from him and get into the car. I start the engine and ignore the knocking on the passenger seat window. "Dani! Stop! Stay! Please!" I simply press the gas and leave through the front gate. I have to find Luke and fix this, fast.
I'm driving in silence after I turned off the radio. I need to think. Where could he be? The clouds finally give way and it starts to rain lightly. Wow, perfect weather for how I'm feeling right now. Normally I love when it rains. I would stay inside and cuddle with Ashton. He would kiss me and play with my hair...
Ugh! Stop thinking about him! I need to focus! See, this is what he does to me! He can make any bad situation good. But right now I need to focus. Where could Luke be. I can't count on any of the other guys finding him, after all he took the other car, so they don't have any way of following me, or Luke. Especially Ashton.
I drive around the city, hopelessly looking out of the car window. I stop at a random park that seems to be barren, thanks to the rain, plus it's getting a little cold. I pull my sweater over my hands and realize it's the same sweater Ashton gave to me last night. Ugh. I haven't even changed from what I slept in last night. Thank god I put on long pants earlier, I would have frozen by now.
I need to fix this. I can't imagine a world without Ash, he's my everything.
I walk a little farther into the park and call out his name "Luke! Are you here?!" Nothing.
I'm about to give up when I see a little strand of hair sticking out from behind a tree. "Luke! Is that you?!" I walk around and see a tired, blonde-headed boy, soaked, leaning against the tree with tears in his eyes. "Oh my god." I whisper and cover my mouth with my hands. I wasn't expecting him to be in this bad shape.
I fall down to my knees next to him and hug him. He sniffs and hugs me back. "I'm so sorry Luke. I don't hate you. I never did and I never will." He pulls away and looks back down at the ground.
He pulls his knees up to his chin and sighs. "It's hard. It's so freaking hard. I've tried for months to get over you. I can't. It just doesn't go away. And seeing you all happy and giggly and," he pauses, "in love with Ashton," silence. "it kills me. Every time he hugs you. Every time you kiss. Hell, every time you touch I wish that was me, not him." I look at him. I feel horrible. I did this, I'm making him feel this way.
"I'm so s-"
"No. Don't apologize. You've apologized enough. It's my fault we're in this mess. It's my fault. I'm sorry." We sit there for a moment. Both of us, side by side, in complete silence. "How's Ashton? Does he know you're here?"
I look down. "I don't know what's going on between the two of us."
"What do you mean?" He seems quite alarmed by my answer.
"I don't know. He just seems pretty pissed at me. He heard us last night and I don't think he's very happy with me right now. I don't think it's the best idea I come on tour with you guys." I admit. I don't want to ruin anything else.
"Woah woah woah woah. Stop right there. That boy could never be mad at you. He's just confused and afraid."
"Afraid? That I'm going to leave him?" I 'll never happy.
"Yes." Oh. "And you need to get home and tell him that you won't, and that you never will." He gets up and holds his hand out to me.
"That's not going to work. I've told him a million ti-"
"I know you've told him. But that's not enough, you need to make him believe you."
I sigh and take his hand. He helps me up and we walk to our cars, which were parked surprisingly close together. I can't believe I didn't see his car earlier.
I break the silence as I stand by my car.
"How do you do this?" I ask him
"Hmm?"
"How do you love someone and help them fix their relationship with someone else. How do you do it?"
"I guess, when you love someone, you've got to let them go." He turns around and goes to his car as I get into mine. God I feel so guilty. Luke deserves better. He always has.
I drive home and arrive before he does.