Ashton grabs my hand and a security guard helps us out of the building. I step into the bus quickly and the door closes behind me. I sit down on the couch and Ashton sits down next to me. He puts his hand on my leg and rubs his thumb on my thigh. I lean my head against his and breathe out deeply. He kisses me head.
"Are you two-" Calum asks but breaks off when Ashton shakes his head at him, telling him to give them a moment. The guys all leave to the bunks and leave us alone. I sniff into his shoulder.
"Maybe we should go to bed." He whispers to me.
"This isn't something that's just going to go away Ashton! People are going to think that I'm the 5sos slut! Cheating on one and jumping to the next!" I pull away and look him in the eye. "You don't understand what that's like! People will hate me! Even if we set things straight, there are still going to be people that think it was all set up by the media! People will always see me as some terrible person that sleeps around with famous people for money!" He looks down.
"I know it's not easy for you but how do you think I feel?" He slowly gets angry. "People think that the woman I love is dating my best friend. The woman. I love. I want the whole world to know that I love you. I want to scream it to the heavens yet now, the world thinks you belong to that idiot." He sits back on the couch and looks frustratingly out the window. We sit in silence for a moment.
"What did you say to Luke?" I look at him.
"It's not important," he says shaking his head. "Maybe we should just figure this tomorrow ok? I'm tired." He says. I'm still a mad and confused but I just want to relax and forget this for a couple of hours.
"Ok." I respond. He gets up and holds his hand out for me. I grab it and he helps me up. We walk into the bunks and see the other boys already in their beds. I grab my pjs and change in the bathroom. Once I walk out I see Ashton standing infront of me.
He pecks me on the lips. "I love you." He says half-heartedly.
I smile a little and reply. "I love you." He smiles and I pass him. That didn't feel right. I hop into my bed and hope to get some sleep.
After two hours I still can't fall asleep, my mind is too clustered. I decide to get up and go to the back room. I open the slider and who else would be there but Luke. I'm honestly too tired and upset to fight with him so I just drop down on the couch across from him. Neither of us say anything for a while until I finally build the courage to talk.
"Did you hear what I said backstage when you guys were performing." I ask him. He doesn't say anything for a while.
Then I hear a quiet shaky voice sneak its way to my ears. "Yes." I take a deep breath. That wasn't the answer I was hoping for.
"I know it's none of my business but what happened?" He asks you hesitantly. I raise myself up and lean my head back against the couch.
"No Luke actually it is your business. The paparazzi caught a picture of us together at the dress shop the other day and it got printed on a magazine with a headline that said we were dating." I say as I throw myself back down on the couch laying my arms across my stomach and propping my legs up.
I look over to Luke and I see him tensing up. "That explains alot." he says frowning while wiping his eye of a stray tear.
"Explains what?" I ask.
"Nothing. Just something Ashton whispered to me before we left the venue." he says.
"What did he say?" I ask. He doesn't say anything. "Tell me Luke." I say sternly.
"He said. 'It must be pretty fucking nice being Mr. Luke Hemmings. But then again why would I want to be petty and pathetic.' " Luke looks down at his hands and lays down the same way I am. I hear him sniff and I catch him wiping his cheek with his hand. I can't believe Ashton would say something like that. But then again I don't truly understand how he feels because he never tells me fucking anything.
"Luke I'm sorry." I whisper.
"No it's okay. I mean I'm pretty pathetic for loving someone who told a complete stranger that they would never love me back." He says with a choke in his voice.
"Luke. Don't."
"Don't what?" he asks.
"Stop saying that you love me. How could you love me? What is it about me?" I ask.
"I just do." He says as he turns his body to face the couch and so that his back is facing me. Then I remember what Luke was about to say in the dressing room before the other guys walked in after they got their hair done. When I told him it was never going to happen and then he said it almost did.
"Luke. What did you mean earlier tonight when you said that we almost happened?" I ask. Luke sits up and runs his hands through his hair and lets out a frustrated moan.
"I never should've said that" he says under his breath. "Nothing. It's not important. Just forget I ever said that." He says.
"But Luke-"
"It's a dumb story you don't want to know and I...I just...just let it go." He says stuttering.
"What are we going to do? About the photo?" I ask him.
"I have no idea. But we need to fix this. I don't want you getting hurt." he says. I smile because I know that Luke cares about me but I just wish it was a different type of caring. He lays back down on the couch and tosses himself so that he is facing the back of the couch again. After a while I hear small snores coming from his side of the couch and I know he's fallen asleep. I feel my eyes become heavy as welll. I'm worried that if I get up I'll lose my want to sleep. So I close my eyes and drift to sleep.
I wake up to the ground shaking beneath me. I panic momentarily and jolt up until I realize where I am. On a moving bus. I turn around and see Ashton sitting beside me with a shocked expression and with his hands in the air.
"I didn't do anything, I swear." He says. I smile a little and he puts his hands down.
"Sorry, I just forgot where I was for a moment." I laugh a little. I rub my eyes and yawn. "Where are we going?" I ask him.
"Um, Vegas I think."
"Oh. What time is it?" He looks down at his phone.
"11:27"
"Really? I can't believe I slept so long. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you up." He smiles and leans in to kiss me.
I kiss him momentarily. "Well, good morning then."
He chuckles. "Good morning." I'm quiet for a moment until he speaks up.
"Why are you on the couch anyway? Was the bunk not comfortable?" He asks, his voice full of genuine concern.
"No, the bunk was fine, I just couldn't sleep. I came back here hoping I could waste some time and ended up falling asleep." I leave out the whole conversation with Luke, I don't want to anger him.
"Oh, ok. Well next time you can't sleep just tell me and I'll stay up with you." He says smiling, and kisses me on the cheek, getting up. "I'm gonna get some food, do you want some?"
"Yeah." I realize how hungry I am. "I'm starving." He kisses my forehead again and simultaneously makes a 'hmmm' noise against it. He leaves and I decide to get changed. I go into the bunks and grab my bag. I pull out a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt since I'm not planning on leaving the bus anytime soon. I brush my hair and leave the bathroom and I run into Calum in the hallway. We awkwardly shuffle past one another and I walk towards the kitchen-thing.
"Hey Dani" Luke says from the table as Ashton rummages through the fridge.
"Hi" I say. Ashton takes his head out of the fridge and grabs a yogurt. He hands it to me and I smile saying "thank you." I sit down across from Luke as Ashton excuses himself to the bathroom.
"No funny business you two." he says jokingly but there's seriousness in his tone as well. He leaves and Luke immediately starts talking.
"How did you sleep?" He asks.
"Fine. I slept much longer than I thought I would." I chuckle a little. He smiles down at his plate and looks back up at me.
"That's good, I was pretty tired last night but I just couldn't seem to get myself to go to sleep. I guess my m-"
"Mind was too cluttered. Yeah, me too." I smile and he takes another bite of his food.
"You look pretty awake now." He says
"Mhmm." I say, take a spoonful of yogurt. "I guess talking to you must have lifted the weight off my shoulders. At least I got some of my questions answered." I say. He puts down his fork.
"Some?" he asks and I look at him.
"Yeah, you still haven't told me what you meant when you said we 'almost' happened. I'm still deadly curious about that. I mean I'd like to know if maybe things were different..."
"You'd be with me." He says half-heartedly. I shrug and he just looks kind of sad. "I don't want to think about what could have been, ok? It's not important." I scootch to the edge of my seat.
"Oh come on. Just tell me! I know you've been through a lot but I just want to know you didn't have 'dibs' and Ashton broke the code or whatever."
"The code?" He looks at me with humour in his eyes.
"Yeah. You know, the bro-code? It states: He who calls dibs,"
"Has dibs." We finish together. He laughs a little. "Quoting How I Met Your Mother I see." I shrug
"Hey, you gotta love it, right?" He smiles and shakes his head. I focus back on what I originally asked him. "So, what did you mean by 'almost'?" Luke starts to rub his hands together and his leg begins to shake moving the table up and down. He gets up and paces around nervously.
"Luke come on." I tell him as I begin to become annoyed with his fidgeting.
"No. I can't do it. I can't tell you." he says shaking his head. All that watching him fidget for nothing. "Why?"
"Because. It's so fucking stupid!" he says with a sudden frustration as tears threaten to flow down his face. He rushes out of the kitchen and through the hallway. Calum notices him and follows him. Calum grabs Luke by the shoulder and turns him around.
"What's wrong Luke? You can tell me." Calum says. Luke looks at me and his eyes are watery and red. Then he turns and walks into the backroom, Calum following, closing the doors behind him.