Hannah slowly climbed the stairs, peeking around the top to see if she could see Valerie. The first door on the left was wide open, so she looked inside. The room was empty. Whoever slept in the bright green room was definitely tidy because there was not one thing out of place. The next door on the left was closed, and the one directly across was wide open. She looked in the room on the right, seeing no one. Judging by the contents of the room, this was Cam's bedroom. Straight ahead was obviously a bathroom, which meant that Val was in the room with the closed door.

Hannah slowly approached, pausing at the door. She wasn't sure how to knock since both of her hands were full. She cautiously placed the plate in her right hand on the forearm of her left, knocked quickly, then grabbed the plate again before she dropped it. She waited a few seconds before hearing Valerie call out to her.

"I don't feel like talking, Cameron."

Hearing the way Val said Cameron's name made Hannah think of the way her mom said her name when she was in trouble. You must have fucked up pretty good, Cam. Hannah cleared her throat before speaking.

"Okay, but it's Hannah. I just brought you-" she paused when the door swung open. "We made dinner," she finished. "Cam thought you might be hungry."

Hannah watched to see if Val might smile at the thoughtful gesture, but she didn't. No matter. She knew that the woman had at least heard her. Maybe it would help Cam score some brownie points.

"Thank you," she said sincerely.

"She also said you might not want to talk to her, so she asked me to come instead. You do need to eat and judging by the way you're looking at your plate, I'd say she was right about you being hungry. So," Hannah said, handing her the plate. "Want to have dinner with me?"

The blonde couldn't help smiling back at the girl before her. She was definitely a charmer. She happily accepted the plate and led the way into her room, closing the door behind them.

"Where should I sit?"

"Anywhere. I don't have much furniture in here yet, so the bed is probably your best bet."

"You don't mind if I eat on your bed?"

"No. I do it," she said, pointing to the plate on her night stand. "So don't be shy."

"Ah, my kind of friend. I love lazing in bed and watching tv while I gorge on chips and candy."

"Then you and I will get along great," Alex responded, joining Hannah on the bed.

"Is this what you've been doing all day?"

"Maybe," she said, smiling. "I decided to have a lazy day. Tomorrow I'm thinking of going into town. I really do want to buy some seats for this room and maybe a bookshelf. I was also thinking of getting a mirror." She stopped talking when she noticed the look Hannah was giving her. "What?"

"Nothing. I'm just listening," she said innocently, swallowing the bite she had taken.

"No you're not. What are you thinking?"

Hannah grinned, taking another bite before answering.

"Well… I'm thinking… You've obviously been spending a lot of time alone in your bedroom."

"What?"

"Instead of solving whatever it is that's going on between you and Cameron, you're in here picturing what kind of mirror you should buy," she said, her tone indicating exactly what she thought about that fact. "No offense, but I feel like you should be past the point in your life where you're avoiding your problems." She said this last part gently, not wanting to offend the woman she was with. After all, she barely knew her.

"Well, you're nothing if not blunt."

Hannah chuckled.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. I just don't see the point of pussyfooting around the issue. I'd rather just tell it like it is. Unfortunately, that does get me in a lot of trouble. You know, foot in mouth disease."

Alex paused, chewing on her food as she thought about what the girl said. Had Hannah said this to her a couple of days ago, she'd have taken offense and gotten defensive. However, she had been thinking about talking to Olivia since Wednesday. She just didn't know how to go about it.

"Don't tell me I've offended you too. Sometimes I'm too honest," she said shyly.

"No, it's not that. I respect people who are honest and blunt. I'm just thinking."

"Wanna share with the class?"

Alex put down the wrap she was holding and sighed.

"You're right. I have been avoiding her."

"Why?"

Alex bit her lip. Under normal circumstances, she never would have spoken about something like this to anyone else, especially not someone so young. And certainly not to someone she barely knew. However, she had been alone with her thoughts for days now and she needed someone to talk to.

She pulled herself from her thoughts, realising she had zoned out.

"I've been avoiding her because I don't know what to say to her. We have a difficult talk ahead of us, and I don't really know how to have it."

"As in, you don't know what to say to her?"

"Yes."

"I don't know what happened, but I will go ahead and guess that she doesn't know what to say to you either. I know she wants to talk to you though. She just hasn't because she's trying to respect your space. You need to make the first move."

Hannah smiled to herself, despite the serious conversation.

"What?"

"What?" Hannah asked.

"Why are you smiling?"

Hannah smiled wider, causing Alex to smile as well.

"I just… if Cam were here, I'd crack a joke about you always have to start things because she's too chicken to. She's the butch but you're the one with the balls."

Alex chuckled, but was still very confused. "What do you mean I need to start things?"

"Well, she told me that she was in love with you forever but was too much of a chicken shit to say anything. You had to be the one to step up and confront her. Now, you'll have to be the one to take the first step again because she won't."

"Ah," Alex said, unsure of how to feel about Olivia revealing such a personal story.

"You look unsure."

"No, it's not that. I mean, it is. I'm not looking forward to doing that either, you know, taking the first step."

"I wouldn't be either."

Alex nodded.

"What is it, then?"

"What?"

"I said you looked unsure and you said it wasn't that. Then, what is it?"

Alex paused, unsure if she should admit what she was thinking. Hannah, seeing the woman's indecision, spoke up.

"Stop debating. Just say it."

"You're a nice girl, Hannah. I just don't know how I feel about having my personal life told to someone we hardly know."

"I can understand that."

"How much did she tell you?"

Hannah hesitated, torn between protecting Cam and being honest. She didn't want to get the woman in further trouble.

"Be honest," Alex pushed.

"I don't want her to get into any more trouble with you."

"She told you a lot, I take it?"

"Kind of, but it was my fault. I kept asking her questions. I won't tell anyone, if you're worried about that. It was just really sweet and I liked the story."

"I'm not angry. I might feel a bit exposed… but I'm not angry."

"She didn't tell me anything too intimate. Just a few things that were really innocent, like how she grew to love you and how you guys confessed your feelings to each other."

Alex nodded, but didn't say anything. She really wasn't angry, but she didn't like that she wasn't there listening to what Olivia said. She didn't like not knowing.

"We're just usually pretty quiet about our relationship. You must have had quite an effect on her for her to open up that way to you. Cam is an open person, but she's pretty protective of me and of my privacy."

"I feel bad now. For prying." And she did. She felt guilty.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry."

Alex put her plate on the nightstand and reached over, pulling Hannah into a hug.

"I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. I actually meant that as a compliment, believe it or not," she said, laughing. "I'm not the best at this type of thing, if Cam hasn't already mentioned that. I come off not so friendly sometimes. But I really didn't mean to."

Hannah smiled, feeling relieved at the woman's light tone.

"She did," she said shyly, pulling away. "But she also said you're a really nice person once you warm up to people."

"I try to be. And I don't warm up to too many people to be honest."

"Have you warmed up to me yet?" she asked, grinning.

"Yeah, you're growing on me. Just like she did," Alex responded, pointing downstairs. "Funguses, the both of you."

Hannah laughed. Alex smiled at her. She was a sweet kid, and apparently very easy to talk to. She had quickly wormed her way into both her and Olivia's new life.

"So, now that you know all about my love life, tell me something about yours."

"I don't have a love life. It's pretty non-existent."

"Come on," Alex pried gently. "There must be something. It won't leave this room, I promise."

Hannah bit her lip, toying with the seam on the blonde's bedcover. The woman had opened up to her, had been kind, and seemed genuinely interested in listening. Maybe she could open up too. Just a little.

Alex waited patiently as the girl seemed to consider it, and she held her breath when she finally started speaking, afraid to scare her into silence.

"I've never told anyone this, and… and I'm not sure myself," she glanced up, meeting the blonde's eyes for a second before glancing back down. She could feel her heart racing in her chest. She didn't know if she could say the words out loud. The thought still scared her, and she wasn't sure if she could admit it yet.

"Hey," Alex said softly. "It's okay."

"I just don't know-" Hannah stopped herself, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around her bent knees. She sighed heavily. "It won't leave this room?"

"It will never leave this room. But Hannah, you don't have to say anything. I don't want you to tell me something because you feel obligated to." She reached out and touched the girl's knee. "I want you to open up because you want to, not because you feel you have to."

"I don't," she said shakily. "It's just scary," she whispered. Normally, she didn't ever let herself get this vulnerable. She was an open book, but not about things like this, things that affected her this way. But Val, she was gay. She wouldn't judge her or tell her she was sick for having these thoughts. She's not mom, she reminded herself.

"You're safe here," Alex encouraged, reaching out and pulling her close.

Hannah leaned into her, grateful for the comforting hug. The woman held her tight until Hannah felt comfortable enough to let go. When she pulled away, she felt a lot less vulnerable. She did want to talk about it, to get it out. She had been harbouring this secret for so long. It was getting harder and harder to keep it in. She wanted to get it out, even though she was petrified.

"Okay, well, I-" her voice caught in her throat, causing her to swallow hard to find it again. "I've never told anyone this. Because I've been too scared and partly because I've had no one to tell. No one who would…get it. And here, everybody knows everybody, so if it got out, it would be bad. Everyone would know. And…I'm still not sure, but…I'm pretty sure. But I'm scared to be sure. To admit it to myself."

Alex was pretty sure she already knew what the girl was going to say, and she recognised what a monumental step it was for her to take. It was terrifying, and she could definitely relate to the fear the girl felt. She reached out and rubbed the girl's back for a second, smiling when Hannah met her eyes. The girl gave a shaky smile back before taking a deep breath.

"I…" she faltered. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest she was certain that Val could hear it. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried again. "I think I'm gay," she said softly. "And I think…I think I'm in love with my friend Lisa."

That was it. Her secret was out. Instead of feeling better, she felt scared. Hearing the words out loud for the first time terrified her, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't help the tears that sprang to her eyes. She bit her trembling lip in an attempt to stave off the tears, but it was no use. When felt herself being pulled into a warm, safe embrace, she broke down. She reached her arms around the blonde and sobbed hard into her shoulder.

Alex felt her heart break when the girl broke down. She knew what a huge step this was for her, and while she was proud of her for finding the courage to say it out loud, she also felt terrible for what she was going through. She knew how hard it was to face this though, and she knew she could help her get through it. Both she and Olivia could, since they had both had struggled with coming to terms with their own sexuality, just as Hannah was now.

Alex rocked the girl in her arms, whispering soothing words as she rubbed her back. The girl clung to her, letting out all the fear, worry, and loneliness she had been feeling since this had all begun. She had been struggling with these feelings for years now, and she had had no one to talk to. Getting it out was a relief, a giant weight off her shoulders, but it had been terrifying to finally say the words out loud.

When Hannah finally pulled back, Alex smiled encouragingly. She moved the girl's errant hairs from her face, tucking them behind her ears. She then reached over to grab the box of Kleenex in her bedside drawer, offering them to the teenager. Hannah smiled gratefully, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. She then tossed the used tissues into the bin, running her hands over her thighs nervously. Her eyes were puffy and sore, and she was afraid to look at the woman before her. She was nervous to face the woman who now knew her deepest, darkest secret.

Alex watched her for a few minutes, waiting to see if she would say anything. She didn't want to stop her from opening up some more. However, when several minutes passed and the girl said nothing, and wouldn't even look at her, Alex reached out. She cupped her cheek and forced her to look up.

"Hey. You were just so incredibly brave. I'm really proud of you for saying it out loud. I know how scary it is to do that for the first time."

Hannah nodded when the blonde took her hand away. She wiped at the tears that pooled in the corner of her eyes.

"It is scary," she sniffed. "You're not going to tell anyone?"

"No, sweetie. I'm not. I would never tell anyone anything you told me in confidence like this. Besides, I don't have anyone to tell. You're my only friend here," she said smiling. "So you know your secret is extra safe with me."

Hannah returned her smile.

"Okay. Thank you," she said softly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Scared. Worried. Terrified. But I feel better, like a weight has been lifted, which I know sounds weird considering I just said I feel scared and worried."

"It doesn't sound weird. I get it. How long have you been struggling with this?"

"A long time. Since I was fourteen or fifteen I guess. I've known forever that I didn't like boys, but that wasn't an issue. I didn't even think about it. But then, when these feelings started…for other girls…it was hard. And confusing. I didn't get it."

Alex nodded in understanding.

"You were feeling things for girls that you were told you should be feeling for boys."

"Yeah, exactly. My friends all had crushes on the guys in our classes. I thought they were repulsive and completely immature. I mean, some of them are my friends, but I never ever saw them as anything more. The guys, they would talk about the girls in our classes when I was around sometimes, and I felt like it just… it fit. That was much more interesting. I could relate to that. I couldn't relate to the girls talking about the guys in our year. It's just been really hard, really confusing."

"I can't even imagine how difficult it's been for you. It is very hard to go through this, especially alone."

Hannah nodded.

"Does your mom-"

"No!" she said quickly, cutting her off. "No. Never. Don't ever tell my mom."

"I won't. I would never," she said, soothing Hannah. The girl had immediately begun to panic at the mention of her mother. "I don't even know her or where she lives. Even if I did, I would never tell her."

"Okay," she said, calming down. "Sorry. I just know that it would be bad and I don't want to talk about it with her."

"Okay, sweetie. That's okay. You don't have to talk to anyone you don't want to." Alex didn't want to mention telling anyone else for fear of scaring the girl again, but she needed to know if Olivia knew. "I'm only asking because I need to know, not because I will say something to her, but…have you told Cam?"

Hannah shook her head.

"I almost did. I wanted to, but… I couldn't. I don't know…"

"That's okay, sweetie. There's no pressure and no rush."

"You can tell her if you want. As long as she doesn't say anything."

"Thank you, but I think it would be better for you to tell her. That's your news to tell when you're ready. Cam is a really good listener, and she's very understanding. When you're ready to talk to her, she'll be eager to listen."

Hannah nodded, then smiled as she looked up at her.

"So, since she's such a good listener and so understanding, does that mean you're going to talk to her finally?"

Alex smirked, nudging her shoulder.

"Nice deflecting."

Hannah grinned. Alex smiled back and sighed, shaking her head.

"You're pushy. Did she put you up to this?"

"No. I just remember what you guys were like the first day I met you. Now, you're both sad and not talking. I want you to be happy again."

Alex smiled at the sincerity in her voice, but didn't say anything.

"Well?"

Alex rolled her eyes and nodded.

"Yes, you nag," she teased good-naturedly. "I'm going to talk to her. I just don't know when yet. I have to decide what I'm going to say first, but I promise, I will talk to her."

"Good."

"Are you sure you want to be a cop? You could be a professional nagger. Or maybe even a match-maker."

Hannah laughed. The sound made Alex smile. It was good to hear her laugh again.

"No. I'm pretty set on that."

Alex smiled at her. There was a pause of silence between them before Alex spoke up again.

"Alright. How are you feeling now? Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about the second part of your confession? About Lisa?"

Hannah sighed, stroking the bedcover.

"I don't know what to say."

"Why don't you start by telling me about her? How did you meet?"

Hannah smiled despite herself.

"We met in English class last year. She was the reason I looked forward to going," she said, blushing.

"What is she like?"

"She's… wonderful. She's funny and kind, and she's really easy to talk to. She's so smart. I mean, I'm pretty smart, but she makes me look like an idiot. And she's beautiful. I just…I love being around her. She's my favourite person."

Alex could say nothing for the smile on her face. She tried to respond, but the girl was so damn cute that nothing came out. It turned out that it was all for the better, because the teenager continued.

"She listens to me, you know? And she knows when something's wrong. I do my best to hide when I have a bad day or when something's on my mind. I like to just play it off, but she can tell. She just knows. And even though it's a pain in the ass because I like to hide that part of myself, when I'm not okay, it's also kind of nice knowing that I'm not invisible. And she doesn't let me get away with anything. I like that too. She always calls my bullshit. And you wouldn't think just by looking at her, but she's got a wicked sense of humour. Very dark. I love it. She's always making me laugh."

When the girl stopped talking, Alex finally responded.

"She sounds like a wonderful person. It's no wonder you like her."

"I don't just like her, Val. I think…I think I love her. I think I have for a long time but I don't know what to do about it." She sighed. "There really isn't anything you can do when you're in love with a straight girl."

"And you're sure she's straight?" she asked gently.

"Yeah, pretty sure. I mean, she doesn't seem gay."

"Does she know how you feel about her?" Alex was pretty sure she knew the answer, but she didn't want to just assume anything either.

"No. God, no. I'd never tell her. It'd ruin our friendship. I don't want to freak her out."

"Do you know how she feels about gay people?"

"She's fine with them. Trevor in our year is gay and she loves him."

"That's good. What if you came out to her, to see what she says?"

"Why?"

"Well, I know I don't know her, but…sexuality is fluid. Many people aren't categorically gay or straight. Some people, and I believe most people, fall between the spectrum of gay and straight. Imagine you had a line and at one end you have the word gay and at the other you have the word straight. Right in the middle is the word bisexual. Now, some people will fall exactly on those words. However, most people will fall near one of the words, yes, but they won't be completely gay or straight because most people's sexuality is fluid to some degree, at least a little. Some people think they are on the complete extreme of either gay or straight, but if you were to really discuss it, you'd probably find they aren't completely one or the other. She might think she's straight, or you might think she is, but maybe she isn't completely. She might be more open to it than you think. Does any of that make sense?"

Hannah nodded.

"Yeah, but not everyone is as open-minded as you are."

"No, but it's different with your generation I think. You guys are much more open and accepting as a whole. Or at least, that's my impression. I don't share my business because I'm a private person, but if I had to bring it up, I know most people your age wouldn't even be fazed by the fact that I like women. However, someone from my generation or my parents', well, I would definitely hesitate saying something. I know it's not really fair to generalise that way but I feel that way for a reason."

"Because you've had negative reactions from people from older generations?"

"Yes. Some very unkind comments to say the least."

"I'm sorry, Val. I'm not looking forward to getting those comments either."

"You might not. Like I said, your generation is very different. Your friends, when you decide to tell them, will probably be very understanding. And you know what, if you get people who aren't so nice about it, sometimes it's best not to have those people in your life. You're a great kid. You don't need anyone telling you otherwise."

"Thanks, Val," she answered. The girl paused for a second, then looked up at Alex. "Thanks for listening to me. It's nice to have someone to talk to."

"You can always come to me or to Cam. We're both good listeners. She's better than me to be honest. She's usually better at this than I am."

"I don't think so. It was really easy to talk to you today."

"Well, thank you. I hope you'll do it again soon."

The teenager gave a genuine smile.

"I will."

"Good. Alright, miss. It's getting kinda late. You should probably start heading home soon before your mom starts wondering where you are."

The girl got up and nodded.

"Yeah, I suppose so. Are you going to come downstairs or should I say goodbye to you here?"

"No, I'll come downstairs. It's been pointed out to me that I may have been running from my problems," Alex said, a friendly smile on her face.

"I'm glad you're going to face them."

"Well, you were so brave tonight you've inspired me," she answered, grabbing their dirty dishes and following the girl down the stairs.

Hannah beamed at the compliment. It felt great to know that she had moved the woman. Although she did know her that well yet, she was quickly forming a bond with the blonde. Val was very easy to talk to, and Cam wasn't so difficult to talk to either. She was glad to finally find a place where she was comfortable just being herself. She always felt like she needed to hide this part of herself, and while she prided herself on being an open book about certain parts of her life, she also felt like a liar at times because of what she was hiding. She felt she could never truly be honest with anyone. But with Cam and Val, it was different. They were gay, just like she suspected she was. She didn't have to hide what was fast becoming a huge part of her identity.

It seemed to be all she could think about lately, about whether or not she was gay. Well, that and Lisa. It had been nice to talk to someone about it. Especially since she knew Val wouldn't (and couldn't) tell anyone. It made her feel better because no one was safe in her town. They all knew each other and they were terrible gossips. And even if they weren't, how could they relate and understand what she was going through? They couldn't. Everyone she knew was straight. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but… they just didn't understand.

Alex opened the door and followed the girl outside, stopping at the top of the steps.

"Thank you for visiting, Hannah. I'm glad you came over. Come back again soon, okay? Feel free to drop in any time."

Hannah smiled at her.

"Thanks for having me. Good luck with your conversation."

"Thanks. Be safe now. No drag racing."

The girl chuckled as she hopped on her bike.

"Bye, Val."

"Bye, sweetie."

Alex watched the girl go until she could no longer see her. She sighed heavily as she turned toward the house. A heavy conversation was about to be had.