Ashton's POV
We finished the interview and shook hands with the guy who was interviewing us.
"Thank you so much for having us" I said. I wasn't lying but I wanted to fix things with Dani and the longer I was here, the longer she was mad at me. My hangover was gone but my head still hurt. I couldn't understand why but I just decided to ignore it. The guys and I walk back to the bus after making our way through a couple of fans and taking a couple of pictures. Once we're on the bus I head to the back room to try and sort my thoughts. I open the partition, expecting an empty room and see Daniella lying on the couch covered in blankets. She's sleeping. I feel awful. She must have not slept very well because of what happened last night. This is my fault. I overreacted when Luke kissed her. I mean, he was drunk and so was I, I don't think he would have ever done that if we were sober. He knows what she means to me. He knows what she's done for me. I need her. There are plenty of other pretty girls out there that love him. He just needs to take his pick and move on. I sigh. I sit next to her on the couch and put my hand on her head. I run my hand through her light brown hair and stroke little bits of hair out of her face. She looked so relaxed, peaceful almost but you could see the slight crease in her eyebrows and her eyes moving spastically under her eyelids. I glanced to her lips and started to feel a twang in my chest. God I missed her. I don't know how I managed to stay away from her for so long. When I was on tour I had to go months without kissing her or holding her or hearing her laugh. Now, it's only been a day since we've really kissed and I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. Then again, I guess it's better to be apart and in love than close and broken. I lifted her head and scootched under her so that her head was resting on my lap. I kissed her head and moved the hair from her eyes again and then continued running my hand through her hair. God. What have I done to deserve her? What did I do that allowed me to fall in love with a girl that loves me back unconditionally. I've screwed up everything and now she's scared of me. I can see it when she looks at me, if she looks at me. Fuck I've messed up.
Daniella's POV
I wake up and feel warm. I feel safe yet unsteady, as if I was a vase that had been smashed and then carelessly glued back together again. I feel a hand go through my hair lovingly and open my eyes. I see Ashton's hazel eyes looking down at me, longingly, almost as if he were lost and needed guidance. I sit up quickly after I realize my head had been resting on his lap.
"Um... Hey." I say, unsure of what to do.
"Hi." He replies quietly. I look out the window and see that it's slowly turning dark. The show! "Ashton! Your show! Doesn't it start soon?!" I say alarmed.
"Yeah, in 20 minutes but I wanted to stay with you until you woke up. I didn't want you to wake up alone." I blush a little and look down. He still makes me blush even though I'm trying to stay mad at him right now.
"Oh. Thanks." is all I say. I was still mad but that didn't mean I couldn't be polite. There's an awkward silence for a moment before he finally speaks up.
"Well, I'm gonna go. I've got a show to play." He laughs a little pretending to laugh it off. "If you want to, you're still welcome to watch it if you want." He says looking at me.
"Ok, maybe I'll come in a bit." I replied cryptically.
"Ok." he says and leaves the bus, closing the door behind him. He didn't say I love you. Then again, neither did I.
***After the show***
Ashton's POV
My heart was pounding harder than usual after the show. My heart would pound due to the adrenaline, the energy, the loudness, and the thrill of playing in front of a crowd. But tonight it was pounding for completely different reasons. It was pounding because of Dani. I was losing her, she was slipping away. She is my happiness, my everything and without her I'm nothing. Losing her would be like losing myself. I feel my heart pound against my chest harder and harder until I have to bend over and put my hands on my knees. I stand in that position trying to catch my breath until I feel a hand on my back, I stand up and I see Calum standing there. He puts his hand on my shoulder and his face is emotionless
"Are you okay Ash?" he asks quietly.
"I'm fine I just...I don't feel well." I say lying to him. I couldn't tell him how I felt without him judging me or giving me a lecture.
"Well let's go then we gotta get on the bus. We have a long way to travel to get to the show tomorrow." Calum says walking away from me. I take a deep breath and close my eyes thinking about what she's doing right now. Hopefully she was sleeping because I don't think I can small talk with her right now. It hurts too much.
Daniella's POV
I am awakened by the bus door slamming open. Great, the show must be over. I turn so that I am facing the inside wall of my bunk. I didn't want to see Ashton or Luke right now, I just wanted peace and quiet. The guys are quiet as I can hear them shuffling into their sleeping bunks. I feel a presence behind me but I pretend like I don't notice.
"Daniella?" I hear Calum whisper.
"What?" I ask.
"Are you okay?" he whispers. I smile a bit,
"I'm fine I just want to be alone right now Cal. I'm sorry." I say as I turn and look at him.
"It's fine. I understand." he says and I see him crawl into the bunk underneath me. I take in a deep breath and close my eyes and I feel myself falling asleep again. After a few hours I wake up and I see that it is still dark outside. I check my phone and it said that it was 5 A.M. I rub my eyes a bit and I stretch out my arms and legs and I stuff my face back into my blanket and I look up for a split second and I see that the bunk across from mine is empty, where's Ashton? I look to the bunk underneath me and I see that Calum is missing as well. Where could they possibly be for heaven's sake we are on a tour bus! Then I shut out the noises of the cars driving by and the sounds of Luke and Michael breathing and I hear whispers coming from the back room.
"What the hell were you thinking Calum? Why would you say that to her?" I hear Ashton whisper. I slowly get out of my bunk and sit down on Calum's and lean my head against the door.
"Because, it's true Ash. She has to do what makes her happy and I don't think being around you two is making her happy." Calum says. He was right, being around Ashton was exhausting and it felt like whenever I was around him I was still alone. But leaving wouldn't make me happy either, at least I don't think it will.
"You have no say in this Calum. None of you do. Since when did Dani and I's relationship become you guys' issue?-"
"Since it started to hurt you. And Luke. Since it tore you two apart. I don't give a shit if you and Luke want to hate each other. But I'm not going to let this issues take both of you away. I still want my brothers. And I don't want to hurt Daniella. She feels guilty as if she is tearing this band apart. I can't let her feel that way Ashton and you shouldn't either. I'm sorry." Calum says. There is silence for a long while and then I hear someone walking towards the door. I quickly hop back into my bunk, bumping my knee on the side. Ow! I squint as I lay back down and my blanket falls to the ground. Ugghh seriously? I hear Calum crawl back into the bed and I can feel Ashton standing next to me. Then I feel a hand brush my hair away from my face and rub my cheek. His hands are warm and I can feel the scabs and the cuts from the fights but his hands still somehow felt soft and safe. I tried my hardest not tear up or smile or grab his hand. I wanted to be with him so bad but I couldn't, it just didn't feel right. Then I felt the hand leave my cheek and a few moments later I feel Ashton cover me with the blanket. He lays it on top of me perfectly and then he kisses me on the cheek.
"As long as you're happy, I'll be happy no matter what." I hear him whisper and then I hear him crawl back to his bunk. My heart stops, he still hasn't said I love you, but I understood why. Why would he say it when I know it is hurting him because right now what we are going through, it didn't feel like love at all. After a few moments I finally drift back to sleep.
I wake up around 9 A.M and Calum, Luke, and Michael are still fast asleep but I notice that Ashton was gone from his bunk. I was tired of laying down and I wanted to move about but I was in no mood right now to make small talk with Ashton, if I did I knew I would forgive him because I miss him and I want him back, but I couldn't right now. He had to learn that he had to trust me, that he had to let these problems of his go. I fling my legs across the side of the bunk, being careful not to hit Calum, and I touch my cheek with my hand. I could still feel the warmth from his hands but then I think about the feeling of the scars I felt and I cringe a bit. I take a deep breath in and hop off the bed quietly and I hear the TV on in the backroom. Good, I can have the kitchen and eat breakfast. I open the cupboards and I see the usual things vegemite, Nutella, peanut butter, bread, fruits, and chips. I grab an apple, a banana, and a piece of bread. I grab a cutting board from the cupboard below and I decide to cut up the banana and apples into slices. The banana was easy to slice into but the apple was difficult. I try my hardest to push through the hard core but I can't without the apple slipping. I close my eyes to concentrate and after a few moments of breathing in and out I feel two arms wrap around me. I smile and blush as I turn my head and see Ashton smiling at me.
"Do you need help with that babe?" he asks happily. I give him a look,
"I don't need help from you right now Ashton." I say trying to hold back my feelings.
"Come on let me help you." Ashton says as he takes the knife from my hands and cuts into the apple as he keeps his torso up against my back side. I could feel his strength, his warmth, and when he's done I turn around so that his chest is leaning up against mine. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and I push him in for a kiss. He puts his hands underneath me and lifts me up onto the table as he kisses me passionately. With one hand still intertwined in his hair I use the other hand to move the slicing board out of the way.
"I missed you." he says seductively as he places his hand on my legs and starts to grip them tighter.
"I missed you too.." I say as I start to tug on the back of his t-shirt.
"I love you, I love you, I love you." he says in between each kiss. Hearing him say those words suddenly causes uneasiness in my stomach. I push him aside and I look down at the ground.
"No Ashton I'm sorry, I can't." I say feeling myself tremble.
"You can't what?" he asks sadly.
"I don't know. I want to say it but I can't. I just can't." I say as tears come to my eyes.
"Why?" Ashton asks quietly coming over and wrapping his arms around me trying to comfort you.
"I suddenly feel alone when I'm with you. I feel, I feel unsure." I say choking on my tears.
"I love you, I don't care what you say or what you feel I love you Dan." Ashton says. I look up at him saying nothing back. "Dan?" Ashton asks. I say nothing "Dani?!" I see Ashton's mouth open but for some reason I hear Calum's voice coming from it. I look at Ashton confused and I close my eyes to shake it off and sink the tears back in until finally one last shout of my name and the feeling of a hand on my shoulder causes me to open my eyes. I look up and I am still holding the knife and the apple and my hands are shaking.
"Daniella are you okay?" Calum asks as he takes the knife away from me. "Here let me do this for you." Calum says as I step aside so that he can cut into it. It felt so real, but it wasn't. I feel my head pound and I take a seat at the table. That was the closest I'd been to Ashton in what felt like forever and I was imagining the whole thing.