A/N: I got a few messages from readers saying they didn't understand why Olivia (Cam) would act the way that she is, stating that she needed space from Alex. I hope with this chapter that I've been able to explain her actions a little more.

Alex brought her dishes to the dishwasher, purposefully taking her time loading it up. She had no idea what to say to the other woman or how to go about this conversation. She felt nervous and part of her wished she hadn't waited so long to confront her. Now, the time that had gone by just made this talk more difficult. She took a deep breath and, after placing the last plate on the bottom rack, she made her way to the living room.

Olivia looked up, surprised to see Alex in the same room as her. She hadn't seen much of the woman for the better part of four days now, due to the fact that the blonde had been actively avoiding her. She hid her surprise, however, and smiled when Alex approached. The woman gave a small smile back. Olivia turned off the television when Alex sat down at the other end of the couch, shifting so that she was facing her.

"Hi," Alex said, feeling stupid already. God, she hated when things were awkward.

"Hey. It's nice to see you."

Silence fell between them as neither knew what to say.

"I know we need to have a talk," Alex finally started, "but I don't know where to start or what to say really. I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner to talk about it. I just… needed time to myself. And then it just turned into me avoiding you because I didn't want to have this talk."

"I understand. I'm glad you decided to finally come to me," she said softly. "I've been thinking about you."

Alex nodded, looking away from her. God, could she even do this? She was still so hurt and angry, and truthfully, she wasn't sure she could face this yet. But, she couldn't avoid Olivia forever. They had to talk. She took a deep breath and forced herself to open up.

"I'm upset with you. I know you know that already. I was really hurt. I still am. And angry. Because you just chose this for us. You made this decision that affects my life and you didn't even consult me," Alex kept her voice steady, but she could feel her anger stirring a little. She took another deep breath to calm herself before continuing. "And I don't think that was right. I should have had a say. You should have discussed it with me. This just came out of left field when I thought we were on the same page. I'm confused and I'm angry and I just… I don't get it."

Olivia was quiet a moment, letting the blonde's words wash over her.

"You're right," she conceded. "I should have spoken to you, but I didn't. I reacted in the heat of the moment. I let my emotions take over me, which is ironically how we got into this situation in the first place."

When Alex looked confused, Olivia explained.

"I lost sight of why I came here because I got so swept up in my feelings for you. I kind of "forgot" the reason behind my coming here with you. It felt so good to just…to be with you again that I didn't even think about what forced us together again, what was happening back home. Then, when Agent Thomas came in and called us on it, it all just came flooding back. It hit me like a ton of bricks and it scared me. It scared me that it was so easy for me to lose my focus. But that's what always happens when it comes to you. I get so focused on you that I forget my surroundings; I forget what's going on. I'm just… I get entranced by you. It's both a blessing and, in this case, a curse. I was able to forget about everything because of you, but that's the problem.I was able to forget about the danger you're in.

It was like that when we were together too. Before. Nobody else mattered when you were around, and for a second, that's how it was again. And then when I was torn back to reality, I scared myself with how negligent and distracted I had become. So I reacted. I reacted quickly and I didn't discuss it with you. I'm sorry. I know I hurt you. I didn't mean it as a rejection. I wasn't trying to make it seem like I didn't or don't want you. I do. So fucking badly. But it's because of the fact that I can't separate myself from you that I have to do it this way. I can't focus on keeping you safe when I'm distracted by how good you look, how nice you smell, how badly I want to touch you. If I distance myself from those emotions, at least for now, then I can keep you safe. I need to keep you safe, and I can't do that unless I take a step back."

Alex looked away, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You didn't even try. How do you know you can't if you don't even try?"

"Because I know myself," Olivia's jaw froze, having caught herself just as she was about to say "Alex". She swallowed and try again. "I know myself, Val."

The name was like a punch to Alex's gut.

"I know that I can't do what I need to do if I'm distracted. And the way that I feel about you, it consumes me. I don't mean it to sound as bad as it does, but it's the truth. You command all of my attention, even if you aren't trying to. I need to do everything in my power to keep vigilant, and that means that I need to take a step back from you, from us, because I can't divide my attention between loving you and what protecting you. It's one or the other. And your safety, your life, it's worth more than…" she sighed, stopping herself from completing the sentence. "It has to be this way. I need to take a step back, distance myself. I can't let something happen to you because of my negligence."

Alex, her eyes swimming with tears, finally looked back at Olivia.

"What happened to all the promises you made to me last week? Was that all bullshit? Telling me that you missed me, that you wanted to wake up and know where I am, that you hated the not knowing so that's why you were coming, telling me you wanted to see me every day, love me. You made me believe one thing, and now you're here, telling me another. Why would you lie to me like that?"

"It wasn't a lie. It wasn't," she repeated firmly when Alex scoffed. "I did miss you. I did hate not knowing where the fuck you were, how you were doing. I hated not knowing if you were safe. I hated the unknown; it was awful. I hate that we haven't been talking now. I hate that there is this distance between us. I hate that I've hurt you. I hate that this is happening. But you know what? As bad as it's been, as hard as it is, it's better than not knowing."

Alex bit her bottom lip, refusing to meet her gaze.

"So that's it then?" she said, just above a whisper.

"It has to be… I can't."

"I wish I had known this before you came," Alex said sadly, getting up from the couch.

"Would it have changed your opinion about my coming?"

Alex paused at the staircase. She looked over at the brunette and sighed.

"I don't know," she said softly before making her way upstairs.

And the truth was, she didn't.