A/N: I know this chapter isn't going to make everyone happy, but I had to do it. Hopefully I don't lose anyone over it (you know who you are) because I like having you around!

The beginning of the week resumed as normal for the women. The weekend had been uneventful: Olivia and Hannah had finished patching up small imperfections in the deck, and Alex had kept them happy by feeding them.

When they returned to work on Monday, Alex had excitedly told Jodie about her evening with Lori. The other woman had teased her about dating someone from work, but Alex had shaken her head and insisted that they were just friends. That's all they were in Alex's mind anyway. When the woman in question showed up later that day to return some books, she and Alex had spent the better part of an hour talking. Jodie watched from a distance, smirking. The blonde might think that they were just friends, but it was very clear that Lori was interested in being much more than that. However, Jodie was just a co-worker, and she wasn't going to push the issue. If Valerie wasn't ready to see what was very clearly right in front of her, Jodie wasn't going to force her to.

Olivia started off the week in a great mood; however, she couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness as Wednesday quickly approached them. She knew that Alex was seeing Lori again, and while the blonde acted as though they were nothing more than friends, Olivia wondered. She knew that the other woman was interested in Alex; it was obvious from the way the woman had acted on Friday. How could she not be though? The blonde was beautiful, funny, intelligent, kind, honest… and then some. But the way that Alex talked about Lori, it made her wonder if maybe Alex was just a little bit interested too, but just hadn't realised it yet.

It saddened her, but maybe it would be a good thing. For Alex. Lori seemed kind and from the way Alex spoke about their outing on Friday, the other woman had been nothing but a gentleman. The blonde deserved that. Olivia had no right to complain anyway. So, when Wednesday evening rolled around, Olivia smiled and listened while the blonde excitedly got ready for her evening out. She complimented her on the dark purple dress she chose, telling her it looked lovely (read: absolutely stunning) on her. It was a simple dress, cut at the knees and meant to be worn casually, but on Alex, it looked like it was straight from the runway in Paris.

The blonde thanked Olivia for her help getting ready, noting no difference in her mood other than the fact that she was a little quiet. However, Alex had attributed her silence to the fact that she probably couldn't get a word in edgewise considering the blonde hadn't stopped talking. The brunette had listened attentively, smiling and encouraging her to have fun. So, Alex did.

Lori met her once again at the door, and Olivia had to admit that the woman was also very well dressed. She didn't dwell on that though. She wished them a happy evening, this time going to the laptop and checking on New York's current events rather than going upstairs to watch them leave.

"Oh! I nearly forgot. Come here. You'll appreciate this," Lori stated, leading Alex over to a corner of the shop. "This is beautiful."

They had been in the antiques store for nearly forty minutes, looking at the various items on display. Lori had proven to be a great source of information, telling Alex where various pieces came from and the story behind them. Lori was fascinated by antiques, and in her many visits had befriended the owner, Rob. Every time she visited (which was often), he would point out his recent acquirements and what he had learned about them. Lori had listened raptly, fascinated by the stories behind the various pieces. Now, she was glad she had. It had been a great way to entertain her blonde companion, as well as get to know more about her.

"Wow," Alex said, staring at the magnificent, Victorian dollhouse. She had no words; it was an extraordinary piece. Lori carefully opened the back, revealing the inside of a two-story home, three rooms on each floor. Each room was decorated with wallpaper, miniature furniture and paintings, light fixtures… There were so many details that Alex couldn't even take them all in. She simply stared.

"Did you have a dollhouse growing up?"

Yes, and I was never allowed to play with it, she thought sadly. Alex had been given a beautiful dollhouse by her grandfather, much like this one, but her mother had forbidden her from using it lest she break it. As a child, she had spent a lot of time simply admiring it, looking up at it on the shelf. She had always wanted to climb up and just hold the pieces, but she was never allowed to. She loved her mother, but the woman had been controlling and, at times, quite cold. However, she was not going to tell that to Lori. Instead, she nodded.

"Yes, it was beautiful. I played with it frequently."

She had decided early on that Val had had a happy childhood, filled only with warm memories. Alex herself had had some moments of happiness as a child, usually involving her loving grandfather, but those memories were few and far between.

"That doesn't surprise me," Lori answered, unaware of the woman's inner trip down memory lane. "You seem like the type of girl who played with dolls, Barbies, thought boys were icky, and ran away from getting dirty."

Alex smiled.

"Well, I stuck to my guns about the boys in any case."

Lori laughed.

"Touché."

Alex turned back to the dollhouse, reaching out and touching the rocking crib in the upper right corner. As a child, if she could have chosen just one piece to play with, it would have been that one. She gingerly lifted it and placed it in her palm, part of her still harbouring the worry that she might break it, just as her mother had told her she would. She nudged it gently with her finger, smiling as it rocked in her hand. When it finished rocking, she placed it back in its spot, a small feeling of satisfaction running through her body. It was not her dollhouse, it was not her beloved rocking crib, but it didn't matter. She hadn't broken it.

She turned to Lori, smiling widely at her.

"So, are you ready to get an ice cream now?"

The woman laughed at the blonde's childish demeanour.

"Feeling like a kid again, are we?"

"Yes. Now that I've played with the crib, I'm ready for an ice cream."

"Alright. Let's go get an ice cream."

Alex insisted on paying this time since Lori had paid last week. They chose Lori's second favourite ice cream place since it was "just around the corner" from the antiques shop. Alex didn't point out that given how small the town was, pretty much everything was just around the corner. Instead, she nodded and followed the woman to a quaint mom and pop shop, ordering her favourite rocky road ice cream and eagerly digging in.

"I don't see why this one is second best. It's just as good as the other."

"Judging by how quickly you're devouring it, I'm surprised you can tell. Are you even tasting any of it?"

Alex laughed and, rather than licking the ice cream, she took a deep bite of it to mock the other woman. Lori gave an exaggerated gasp and feigned horror.

"You monster!"

Alex chuckled and then quickly began moaning in pain. Lori nodded in satisfaction.

"That's what you get for not savouring it. Didn't you learn your lesson last week?"

Alex swallowed her bite and shook her head.

"I regret my decision. Ow."

Lori laughed at her, rubbing her back in sympathy.

"It'll pass. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth again."

Alex squeezed her eyes shut as the pain slowly passed, outwardly vowing never to eat ice cream again. Lori laughed in response.

"You just have to stop eating it so quickly."

"But it's so good!"

Lori shook her head, but still smiled at her.

"So, what are you doing this weekend?"

"Actually, Cam and I are going to paint the deck. I've been wanting to change the colour of it since we moved in."

"Really? Just the two of you?"

"Well, we have a friend coming, Hannah. She's young but she's a good kid. She's going to help as well."

"But there will only be three of you? That's a huge job for so few people. Do you need extra help?"

"We would love extra help, but don't feel obligated to offer. I don't want you to sacrifice your day off because you feel obligated to help."

"I don't feel obligated. I know it's a bitch to paint and I'm a pretty decent painter, so at least you know I won't butcher it." Plus, I'm not going to say no to spending more time with you.

Alex laughed.

"Hey, even if you did, it's free help."

Lori smiled.

"What time do you want me to come over?"

"Don't rush. Whenever you get up, come on over. We're going to start pretty early, but there's no reason for you to hurry to join us. Whenever you show up is fine."

"Okay."

They had finished their cones, so Lori asked the blonde if she was up for a walk. She wasn't ready to take her home yet. She wanted to spend a little more time with her at least. Plus, she was still waiting to work up the nerve to hold the other woman's hand. She hoped that maybe if they took a walk, she'd finally work up the nerve to do it.

The blonde accepted, much to Lori's delight, and they began walking around her neighbourhood. She pointed out her old school, her best friend's house growing up, her favourite bakery, the basketball court she used to play at as a teenager, as well as various other landmarks. Alex listened attentively, finding the woman's memories rather interesting. She had always liked listening to people's stories.

Lori had just begun describing her typical summers as a child, playing in the lake just outside of town, when Alex felt the woman's fingertips brush against her hand. Alex didn't pull her hand away, thinking Lori had bumped her by accident. The other woman, noting no protest, tried a second time before confidently reached out and grabbed the blonde's hand.

Alex felt her insides freeze as they rounded a corner, but she didn't pull away. Why was Lori holding her-

Oh, God.

Oh no.

Had the woman not been leading her along the sidewalk, Alex would have frozen there right on the spot. This was a date.

Oh, God.

Had it been a date on Friday too? She had just been kidding when she said it was a date! Did Lori think this was a date?

Oh, God. She probably did.

Fuck! Now what do I do?

How could Alex have missed it? She was so excited to have made a friend. She was so excited to go out and hang out with someone new. She thought that's what this was: an outing with a friend. Not a date. Lori hadn't actually asked her out that way, had she? Alex racked her brain. Maybe she had. She couldn't remember. But she assumed she'd remember if the woman had actually asked her out on a date. She would have said no because of Olivia. Right? Okay, so they weren't dating, and Olivia had made it clear that they wouldn't be either, but she still couldn't date other people.

Could she?

Why not? One part of her brain argued.

Because you're still in love with Olivia and you want her. The other part responded.

But she doesn't want you.

That thought stung, even if it wasn't entirely true. She knew Olivia still loved her, but that she was on some misguided attempt to protect her. So technically, Alex was free to date Lori if she wanted to. But she didn't, did she? She hadn't really paid it any thought because she was still in love with her detective.

She glanced over at Lori, who smiled warmly at her. Alex felt her insides clench with guilt. She thought they were on a date. Fuck, why do you have to be so nice?

At another time or another place, she would have eagerly accepted Lori's advances. She was definitely her type after all, and she was so incredibly sweet, intelligent, and funny, but right now, she wasn't sure she was interested. She wasn't ready for this.

Alex gently pulled her hand away, her thoughts racing. Lori then noticed the woman's change in mood and started heading back in the direction of the car. She asked the blonde if she was okay, but when she received a quiet "yeah", she knew something was wrong. She didn't want to push her, especially since things suddenly felt awkward, so she drove her home. When they arrived, the blonde politely thanked her for a lovely evening and then exited the vehicle.

Lori was crushed. What had happened? Had she misread the blonde's signals? Had she moved too quickly? But, simply grabbing someone's hand on the second date didn't count as moving too quickly, did it? It had been a long time since Lori had been on a date, but she was pretty sure that grabbing someone's hand on the second outing was actually moving kind of slowly. Maybe the blonde wasn't interested after all. She had thought she was though.

Lori sighed. She watched the woman enter the house before pulling out of the driveway, confusing thoughts swirling through her mind.

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Alex thanked her lucky stars that Lori did not actually work at the library. She definitely did not feel up to seeing her, especially not since she was still so confused. She spent the next day in her own head, berating herself for not seeing the signs. She teased Olivia all the time because the woman could be so oblivious, and now, she had been the oblivious one. She had unknowingly gone on two dates with Lori. How could she have so blind? It was so obvious now that she looked back on it.

She was horribly embarrassed. She was also overwhelmed with guilt when she realised that Lori was interested in her and had had a completely different experience regarding their dates. For Alex, they had been fun outings with a new friend. For Lori, they had clearly been a way to get to know her better. Alex had (stupidly) thought that the woman's questions about her life were simply general curiosity, as the questions Alex had asked had been, but it was obvious now: Lori had been trying to get to know her. And Alex had made it seem like she was equally interested because she had innocently encouraged her, inquiring about her life, her likes and dislikes, her pass-times…

Fuck.

How was she going to have this conversation? Because even though Lori was her type, and even though she could be interested one day, she really wasn't right now. She wasn't ready. It was too soon, and she was still too emotionally attached to Olivia. Alex hated hurting people and she knew that this conversation would hurt Lori, even though she would try to be as gentle as possible. She had to break this off now though, before things got serious. Things had already gotten too far already.

She decided to call Lori on Friday morning, asking if she was free that evening. The woman then stated that she was, and she quietly agreed when Alex asked her to meet for coffee. Her excitement at hearing from the blonde quickly waned when she heard her serious tone. This was not going to be good.

When she walked into the coffee shop later on that evening, Alex immediately spotted Lori. The blonde's stomach clenched out of nervousness, but she slowly approached, willing her nerves away. You can do this.

When Lori heard the clicking of boots, she quickly looked up.

"Hey."

"Hi, Lori," she said softly. Her stomach tensed. Please don't hate me.

"Um, I got you a caramel cappuccino. They're pretty popular here and since you've obviously never tried it…"

Alex smiled warmly as she sat down.

"Thank you," she said sincerely. God, this woman was incredibly sweet. She felt so guilty for not returning her feelings.

They sat in awkward silence for a minute before the blonde broke it.

"Listen, I'm sorry for shutting you out on Wednesday. I was really confused and I needed time to think. I know this sounds so…I don't know, stupid? But I didn't know. I was an idiot. I didn't realise you were taking me out… like that. I thought you were just being friendly. When I thought about it… fuck," she sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I felt like a complete idiot. It was obvious. I'm sorry, Lori."

The woman nodded. Her heart sunk, but she knew this was coming. She had felt it.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too. I guess I should have been clearer. I didn't realise you weren't interested. And when I really thought about it, I realised that I moved way too quickly, you know, asking you out. You just moved here. You're still settling in, getting used to a new job, a new place. And here this woman waltzes in and tries to start something with you. You just wanted a friend and I-" she faltered.

Alex reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight. The woman was obviously feeling guilty as well.

"Hey. You didn't do anything wrong, so don't beat yourself up. You backed right off when you realised I wasn't reciprocating how you felt. Part of me was afraid you'd be angry that I led you on or something," she confessed. "But I really didn't know. I really was just looking for a friend."

Lori gave a small smile and slipped her hand away.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding."

"That's not at all your fault. And I want you to know that when I say it's not you, I mean it. It's really not you. My life right now…" Alex trailed off, rubbing her temple and sighing. "It's really complicated."

"It's okay. I didn't mean to make it even more complicated."

"You didn't. It's not you, it's me. And that's not a line, I swear," she paused. "I am sorry though, Lori."

Lori smiled at her, despite feeling sad.

"Don't be. I just hope you don't hate me now."

"I was hoping the same about you."

"I don't."

"Me either," Alex agreed.

A pause.

"Nothing can ever be simple between lesbians, can it?"

That made Alex genuinely laugh.

"No, it can't. It really can't."

She laughed again, shaking her head.

"Thank you, Lori, for agreeing to see me. And for being so nice."

"Hey, you're not the first girl to turn me down and you won't be the last. I hope we can still be friends though?"

"Definitely. I had hoped this wouldn't cost me your friendship."

"It won't."

Alex let out a breath of air.

"I feel really guilty."

"Don't."

"I can't help it. You're such a wonderful woman. Under any other circumstance, I'd be so incredibly interested. You were so perfect when we went out together. You were such a gentleman, so kind and attentive. I feel guilty that I can't reciprocate your feelings."

Lori reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Hey, it's okay. Seriously. I mean, I'm not going to pretend like it doesn't kind of really suck because you're a great catch. You're smart, you're funny, and you're incredibly beautiful, but I promise it's okay. You can't help that you don't feel that way about me. Maybe in another time..."

Alex nodded.

"I really enjoy your company, Lori. Even though I can't return your feelings, I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"The feeling is mutual. Can we forget that I made a fool out of myself and pretend it never happened?"

Alex smiled warmly at her and reached out to squeeze her hand.

"You didn't make a fool out of yourself, Lori. You were a perfect gentleman at the library and then again when you took me out; you never did anything to embarrass yourself. You were great."

"I'm still embarrassed."

"Don't be. I'm the one who should be embarrassed," Alex said, removing her hand.

Silence hung around them for several moments.

"Do you still want me to come over tomorrow?"

"Definitely. I'd still like to see you. But I don't want you to come if you think you'll feel awkward."

"I don't think I will. Will you?"

"No, I won't," she said. Then she decided to be honest and add: "Now that we've cleared the air, I feel a lot better."

"Me too."

"Good," Alex said, smiling.

They spent the next hour chatting. Alex did feel much better now that they had talked, and although Lori was disappointed, she was glad they had settled things. She knew that the blonde invited her out to end things this evening, so she had had time to process it before it had happened. It still sucked, since she liked the blonde so much, but she was glad she hadn't been led on. That had happened to her in the past, and it was much much worse to find out later. She respected the other woman for at least having the decency to be honest with her.

At the end of the evening, they both said goodbye and got into their separate vehicles. And although it was going to be just as friends, Lori was still glad she was going to be seeing the blonde tomorrow morning.