The following Saturday, Hannah, Olivia, and Alex woke up early to apply a second coat of paint to the deck. Things went much faster this time, at least for Alex and Hannah. When they finished the second coat, the two called it a day, while Olivia insisted on touching up the "glaring imperfections" she insisted were completely obvious. The other two rolled their eyes. So, while the brunette continued working, Hannah and Alex moved to the dock, dipped their feet in the water, and laid on their backs to watch the sky.

"So, I see you and Cam talked. Did she finally get her head out of her ass then?"

Alex laughed.

"Yes. We talked, and yes she did."

"Did you guys manage to settle everything?"

"More or less. We talked on Wednesday night and then again yesterday. I think we're okay now."

"Good. I know she was just trying to protect you, but she was being dumb. There's no reason you can't love someone and protect them at the same time. It doesn't make sense. Hell, the reason you protect someone is because you love them!"

Alex smiled. It was a bit more complicated than that, but she appreciated the girl's opinion regardless. After all, it was what had finally given Olivia the kick in the ass she had needed.

"Thank you for talking to her. I think she needed an outside perspective to set her straight."

Hannah laughed.

"No, gay. I'm glad she came around though. You guys were miserable apart. I haven't even known you that long but I could see it from a mile away. You belong together."

Alex smiled.

"How's it been with Lisa?" she asked gently.

Hannah sighed.

"Same old. Haven't said anything to her because I don't know how she feels. She's gotta be straight though. All the girls in this damn town are."

"You aren't," Alex pointed out. "Why don't you invite her here? Maybe being around us will get her to open up. We can at least try to work it into a conversation, casually of course, and see what she says."

Hannah chewed her lip nervously.

"I don't know…"

"Trust me. I'll be very discreet. She won't even know what I'm up to."

"I feel kind of bad doing that though."

"We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, but just know, I wouldn't do anything to hurt her or you. And, if she doesn't divulge anything personal, then I won't push. If nothing else, you'll at least have someone else's opinion regarding her sexuality. You have been wondering."

"Yeah," she admitted. "I have."

"Then it's settled. Invite her over and we'll talk."

"When?"

"I don't know. What about tomorrow?"

"Can we make it for this week instead? Last weekend, it took me two days to scrape off all the paint on my body. I'd rather not see her when I'm dirty like this."

Alex smiled. So cute.

"Sure. We don't really do anything during the week so whatever day is good for you guys, you can come over."

"Thanks."

Hannah pulled herself up, splashing the water with her feet.

"So tell me more about you and Cam. I have to vicariously live a lesbian experience through someone."

Alex chuckled, sitting up.

"What would you like to know?"

The teenager paused, thinking.

"Why her? What was different about her that made you want to be with her?"

"She was the first one to make me feel like she actually cared."

"How did she do that?"

"She listened. She stayed."

The girl frowned, confused. Alex sighed, but not unhappily. It wasn't something she talked about, but she knew she should open up to Hannah, so she did.

"It's a long story."

"I don't have anywhere to be," the girl said, looking at Alex. "I want to hear it."

The blonde smiled.

"Okay," she paused, thinking. "I'm not very… open. I'm very guarded and keep people at a distance. It's one of my faults. I use distance as a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt. It took a lot of reflection and therapy to figure that out about myself," she said, smiling at Hannah. "I'm much better now, but that's because of Cam. Before her, I didn't open up to anyone. Ever. I had been hurt by so many people that I stopped trusting others. And I lived my safe little existence alone."

"Were you lonely?"

"Sometimes. But you get used to it. And I worked so much that I didn't really have time to realise how lonely I was.

But then along came Cam. She changed everything. We met at work, and she was nice to me from the first minute we met. Warm, friendly. I was polite, but not the least bit friendly. I didn't trust her. That didn't faze her; she kept trying. She'd talk to me, smile at me. She always acknowledged me when I was around, and when she smiled, it was a genuine smile, like she was happy to see me. At first I disregarded it, but damn if she doesn't grow on you. Eventually, part of me started looking forward to seeing her, and when she'd give that beautiful smile and I couldn't help thinking, God, that feels good, because she was smiling just for me. But at the same time, the other part of me, the one that was used to getting hurt, wouldn't let me be friendly back, wouldn't let me show how happy I was to see her. I had to protect myself, so I fought her. I was downright mean to her sometimes, and I know it hurt her, but she still tried."

"Why?"

"She told me later it was because she knew I was hurting. She could see it in my eyes. She knew I was lonely. I worked so hard to make myself unreadable and she saw right through me," Alex said, smiling at the memory. "I hated her for it, because it was true. I was lonely and I was hurting, but I worked hard to not let it show. Once you're distant enough with people, they stop trying. They leave."

"But she stayed?"

"Yes. She did. She was the first one. She proved me wrong; some people really do care. I had had other friends who tried, who told me that one day I'd be able to trust them. But in the end, they always left."

"Did you want to trust them?"

"Yes, I did. But I couldn't. I tried to trust them though, and I got close to a couple of people, but I never really let them in. And God, did it ever hurt when they finally did leave. I knew it was inevitable, but it still hurt. After Megan left, that was it. I swore I'd never let anyone else in."

"Why was she the one who finally made you make that decision?"

"Because I had already been hurt a few times before her, and she was just the final straw. But Megan was also different because I actually believed her. I believed she'd get me to open up one day. I wanted to trust her, and I told her that I wanted to, but that I felt that I couldn't. Not yet anyway. She promised she'd wait, that there was no rush, but eventually she tired of me and she left. Just like everyone else. It was my fault though. You can only push people away for so long before they leave."

"Were you dating the people you got close to? Or were they all just friends?"

"Megan and I were seeing each other, but the others were just friends."

Hannah nodded.

"So, Cam."

Alex smiled at the thought of her brunette.

"Yeah. I should have known it would be different with her."

"Why?"

"Because at a time in my life when I was emotionally shut down, she actually made me feel something. I didn't really acknowledge it at the time, but I was very depressed. After years of being alone, it gets to you. You stop feeling happy. But with her, she'd smile at me and I could feel the stirring of emotion. It wasn't happiness, it wasn't affection, but it was something. And as much as I tried to push her away, shoot her down, distance myself, it didn't work. She was always there with a smile. And I was tired of being alone. I was tired of having no one. I was used to being alone, but it sucked. And she was always so genuine. So it got to me, eventually.

She slowly forced me to open up because she wouldn't let up until I answered her. Instead of saying "fine" when she asked about my weekend, I would tell her that I had read or that I had worked so that she would stop prodding me for more information. At first she was satisfied with a one-word answer and would then go off on a tangent about what she had done. But she eventually stopped accepting my short responses and wouldn't back off until I said a sentence, and then two, and eventually it progressed to what might actually be considered a brief conversation.

At first, she stuck to safe topics, like what books I was reading, comparing our favourite restaurants, and before I knew it, we were having actual conversations. She listened when I talked, and that made a huge impact on me. Like, when I mentioned the fact that I hardly had time to eat in the morning, she'd conveniently have my favourite muffin on her desk on the days she knew she was going to see me," Alex smiled widely at the memory. "Her thoughtfulness and kindness made a dent in my heart of stone."

Hannah chuckled.

"I highly doubt you had a heart of stone. You're so nice. I can't imagine you being unkind."

"I was in a bad place," Alex admitted. "I was not a very nice person."

"It's understandable when you've been hurt. I'm really open about most things, but there are some that I don't talk about at all."

The girl looked down at her feet, making circles in the water.

"But you had a point. Sometimes it'd be nice to be able to talk about it," she said softly.

Alex felt her stomach sink. The girl sounded so sad. She shifted so that she was sitting closer to Hannah, near enough to rest her hand on the girl's arm.

"I know what it's like to keep things to yourself, to shove some parts of yourself so far down that you almost manage to forget about them. But, there's always something that will remind you of them, and when that happens, it's going to hurt even more because you never acknowledge that pain."

"I know," she whispered. She knew because it happened to her, often, even though she tried not to admit it.

Alex sat, waiting. She hoped that if she were patient enough, the girl would open up. So, she sat quietly and rubbed Hannah's arm, trying to encourage her. When she finally started speaking, Alex rested her hand on the girl's knee and listened intently.

"My parents split when I was young. My dad left when I was like eight. Just up and decided he didn't want to be a dad anymore and took off, but not before telling me he never wanted to be a parent. Said he regretted it and that we'd be better off without each other. I never saw him again. My mom, she remarried a few years later to this guy Tony. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me. He barely says two words to me and I always feel like I'm in the way when he's around, because he just gets all quiet and waits for me to leave. It's been like that since he first came around. Sometimes he'll say things…when my mom isn't around.

And my mom, well, she's got two new kids to take care of. She asks how school is and stuff, but honestly? She doesn't listen. There's always one of the kids crying or asking for her attention. She's always making a bottle or getting food ready, cleaning up their toys or something. I used to try and talk to her but you just give up eventually."

The young girl sat, gripping the edge of the dock as she stared at the water.

"It's like I don't exist. Sometimes I feel that way. I know they don't miss me when I'm not home because they're all so busy with their own lives." Hannah looked up at Alex. "When I tell you that my mom won't notice I'm not home, I mean it. She doesn't. Since I was like twelve, I've spent more time out of the house than in it. The only part of the house that feels like mine is my bedroom, but even at that, sometimes it doesn't. My mom lets my sister go in there when I'm not home and it pisses me right off. She goes through my stuff and I know she's just a kid, but that's my space. At least, it's supposed to be," she said, kicking the water in anger.

Hannah bit her lip, fighting the emotions rising up inside of her. She wished it didn't hurt. She didn't want it to and she hated that it did. She wished she could just not care, like she pretended not to in front of everyone else. But deep down, she did care. She wanted to be part of the family, but the truth was that she wasn't.

"It's like I don't fit anywhere in that house. She and Tony have made their new family and I'm just… not a part of it."

She bit her lip harder, but she was quickly losing the battle with her tears. When she was pulled into a hug, Hannah immediately wrapped her arms around the blonde and sobbed into her shoulder. It hurt so bad that her mom didn't care, that she was so easily able to just move on without her. She had gotten herself a new husband, a new house, new kids. And Hannah was old news. She had been alone for so long, she had forgotten what it even felt like to really have a mother.

Alex hugged the girl tighter, pulling her closer into her embrace. Her heart broke. Hannah was usually so happy, joking with them, making silly comments. It was devastating to see the girl in so much pain. And Alex had had no idea. She felt incredibly guilty. How could she not have known? Alex held her tight, rocking slowly as she rubbed her back.

"I'm sorry," Hannah whispered, trying to pull away. Alex pulled her tighter in response.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, honey. Don't pull away. I want to hold you."

Hannah felt another wave of sadness wash over her, and she began trembling in the older woman's arms. She cried again, this time because it felt so good to finally be hugged. She usually got hugs from Lisa, but this was different. This felt like… like a mom hug. Or what she imagined one would feel like. The blonde was holding her close, her arms tight around her back, like she was hanging on for dear life. The warmth and affection made Hannah feel even sadder, reminding her of what she craved so desperately.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Alex said softly when the teenager's sobs had finally subsided.

"I'm embarrassed," Hannah confessed.

Alex pulled away enough to look into the girl's eyes.

"You never have to be embarrassed with me. Tell me," she pried gently.

"I'm thinking… I'm thinking it's nice to finally get a hug. A real one. From… from like someone who acts like a mom. I guess I forgot what it was like…"

Alex used every second of her experience as a prosecutor to maintain a neutral expression, because she was pretty sure her heart just exploded in her chest. She didn't want the girl to know how much that statement devastated her. She bit her tongue hard, using every ounce of her self-control to quell the sob at the back of her throat. Hannah had been craving affection, hurting for someone to love her, and she hadn't known. How could she have not known?

Alex gave into her desire to pull the girl close again. She yanked her back into her arms and squeezed her tight. She poured everything she felt into the hug: all the love, affection, and tenderness she had for the girl- and she had a lot- and squeezed her tight. Hannah had become like a younger sister to her, and it killed her to know that she felt so alone. Alex could relate to the feeling; she knew what that kind of loneliness was like. It was all consuming, soul crushing.

"You are the sweetest, smartest, funniest girl I have ever met, Hannah. You are a beautiful person and it hurts my heart to know that you feel so alone," Alex pulled back so that she could look into the girl's eyes, but she kept her grip on her arms. "You are always safe with us, and you are always welcome. I know we've told you that before, but I think you need to hear it again. We love it when you're around. The house is happier with you here. You have this energy about you that is just… it's uplifting. You make us smile just by being here.

I'm not going to tell you to talk to your mom and I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. I think what you feel and what you said is important, and although part of me wishes you felt you could talk to your mom about it, I also understand that this isn't easy for you. It sounds like there's a lot of hurt on your end, and that won't disappear overnight. If the time ever comes that you feel like you want to go to her and tell her how you feel, I want you to know that you'll have our support. We want you to be happy, Hannah. But you need to know that you will always, always, have a place here. Okay? We love having you here."

The teenager's eyes watered yet again.

"You're ruining my reputation of being a tough girl," she teased softly. "I never cry like this."

Alex squeezed her arm.

"I think it's important to cry. You've been carrying this for so long. You need to get it out."

"You don't think I'm a whiner?" she joked, but Alex saw the vulnerability in her eyes.

"No, Hannah. It hurts. You hurt. And if I were in your shoes, I'd be hurting so much I'm not sure I could handle it."

The girl nodded.

"Some days I feel like I can't."

Alex grabbed the girl's hand, giving it a squeeze.

"You're not alone, Hannah. There are so many people who love and care about you. We all want what's best for you. When it gets to be too much, share with someone. We're all here to listen to you. I'm so grateful that you opened up to me. I hope you feel a bit better now. I'm always around to listen, and so is Cam. I think it's safe to say that Lisa would also love to listen to you, as would your other friends. "

"I haven't ever told anyone any of this."

"It gets easier the more you talk about it. The hardest part is opening up for the first time, and you just did that. You're very brave, Hannah."

"I don't feel very brave, but thank you. It means a lot that you think so."

"I really do."

The two sat there in comfortable silence, the heaviness of the conversation settling between them. Hannah didn't pull her hand away, and Alex made no move to sever the contact. If the girl needed that connection, she would maintain it as long as needed.

They sat there for several minutes, until Alex noticed Olivia hesitantly approaching.

"Cam wants to come over here. Is that okay?"

Hannah quickly pulled her hand away and wiped at her face.

"Hey. You don't have to hide from her. She's safe too. If you prefer she didn't come though, I'll tell her to go away. I know she won't want to interrupt."

"It's not that, it's just… it's different with her."

"What do you mean?"

"It's harder to open up to her I guess. She's like my friend, my… buddy. You feel more like… I don't know." A mom. "You just feel safer."

Alex hid her surprise. She knew that Hannah had already confided her feelings about being more comfortable with her than with Olivia, but it still was strange to hear. Usually, it was the other way around. People opened up more easily to the brunette.

"Would you like me to tell her to give us a few minutes?"

"No, it's okay. I'm sure she knows something's up anyway."

"Are you sure?"

Hannah nodded.

"Okay."

Alex looked up and gave a slight nod to Olivia, who quietly approached. When the brunette saw Hannah's reddened face, she felt her heart sink. She hated to see the girl upset.

Olivia sat close to Hannah, resting a hand on her back.

"Stop being mean to my friend, Val." She turned to Hannah. "You know, you don't have to play with her if she's being an asshole," she joked, her voice soft. "She even makes grown men cry."

Hannah gave a genuine smile.

"I'm not surprised. It seems every time I talk to her, she's got me crying and spilling my secrets."

Olivia looked up and met Alex's gaze.

"Yeah, she's good at that," she said.

Suddenly feeling shy, Alex looked away. When Olivia looked at her like that, she couldn't help but blush.

"Come on," Olivia started, when the conversation between them had quieted. "Why don't we order some Chinese and watch a good thriller."

"Oh no. I am not watching another scary movie with you guys. If you put on a horror film, you're on your own," Alex stated quickly. The last time they had forced her to watch a horror movie, she had had to sleep with her lamp on. She hated scary movies.

Hannah laughed, shaking her head.

"No. We'll watch a boring romance movie so that you're happy," she responded, but she gave the older woman a smile, letting her know that she was teasing.

"Good. Then I'll join you both for dinner. Chinese sounds great."

Olivia grinned and got up, leading the way to the house. Normally, she would have walked with the other two, but she sensed that their conversation wasn't over. She was more than happy to give them some privacy. It was nice that Alex seemed to be getting close to the girl. They could both use a confidant.

When she arrived at the back door, she held it open, waiting on the other two. They had paused partway up the path to the back of the house, briefly continuing their earlier talk. They spoke for a minute before Hannah smiled and nodded. Alex then pulled the younger girl into a hug, whispering something that caused the girl to laugh. Olivia smiled as she watched from afar. Hannah seemed happier, and she was glad for it. She had a huge soft spot for Hannah, and it had upset her to know the girl was hurting.

They pulled apart and walked toward the brunette on the porch. Once Hannah was inside, Olivia reached out and grabbed Alex's forearm, stopping her from going completely inside.

"Is everything okay?" she asked softly.

Alex smiled up at her, her happiness shining right to her eyes.

"Everything is perfect."