A/N: We are nearing the home stretch, just warning you. Two more chapters after this one. Thank you so much to those of you who have been so supportive through this :)

Five days later, Alex was getting increasingly impatient. They were still at the safe house, they still hadn't been allowed to speak to Hannah, and they were being told that they still needed to wait. She wasn't sure how much more waiting she could do. The only thing they knew so far was that the man Olivia had subdued upstairs had slipped into a coma and subsequently died. Alex knew that she needed to be patient, but it was getting difficult to be understanding when her future was in limbo. She wanted to go back to New York, and she just wanted to know if it would happen.

"Baby, you're gonna wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing like that."

Alex paused and looked over at Olivia, who was watching her from her perch on the couch.

"I just can't handle much more of this. I need to know if I'm going home or if we're going to be thrust to another corner of the United States. If I'm not going home, I just want to be told so I can know. I hate this waiting and not knowing."

She sighed and dropped onto the couch next to Olivia, who wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She kissed her temple and nodded in understanding.

"I know it's hard, baby. It's hard for me too. But we have to wait until they get more information. These things take time."

"But how long is it going to take? Our life is hanging in the balance and I hate it."

"I know. I do too."

"We can't even go outside. We're stuck in this damn house and there's nothing to do."

Olivia sat quietly for a second. She then got up and began moving furniture, creating a nice open area in the middle of the room. She couldn't give Alex any answers right now, but she could at least keep her distracted.

"Get up," she requested.

"What?"

"Get up. I'm going to teach you something."

Alex got up and walked over to her.

"What are you going to teach me, detective?"

Olivia smirked.

"Nothing like that. I'm going to show you something I should have shown you a long time ago. You're bored and now's a good a time as any. You're going to learn to defend yourself."

"Self defense? I've already had training."

"Perfect. Let's see what you remember."

Olivia took a step towards her and raised her hands. Alex took a step back, raising her right arm to block Olivia's hands.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she soothed, seeing the nervous look on Alex's face.

"Yeah, but you're much better at this than I am."

"Which is exactly why I'm going to show you what I know. The person who attacks you is not going to go easy on you because he or she knows you're not as quick as they are."

"I can still defend myself," she protested.

"Then do it."

"Fine," she responded, accepting the challenge. Alex reached back and threw her hair into a tight bun.

"Just for the record, your attacker isn't going to give you the time to put your hair up."

"Then that bastard will feel my wrath if he rips out any of my hair."

Olivia chuckled and moved forward.

"Okay. I'm going to pretend to choke you, and you're going to show me how you'd get out of this kind of hold."

She placed her hands around the base of Alex's throat, firmly enough to have a nice grip but not tight enough to actually hurt her or cause discomfort.

"Walk me through what you'd do."

"Okay. Well, first, I'll ball my fists like this and bring them above his forearms so that I can strike down as hard as I can and then maybe he'll let go or loosen his grip a bit. Then I'll knee him in the crotch and run."

"And if striking at his arms doesn't work? He's still got you around the neck."

"Then I'll hit him in the face and neck, his throat too."

"Why?" she asked, adjusting her hold so that her hands gripped a little tighter.

"Cuz it's annoying and he's likely to leave me alone if I bug him enough," Alex said sarcastically.

Olivia gave her a look.

"Because they're sensitive parts of the body," she sighed. "The eyes, throat, toes, stomach, and groin are what you wanna go for."

"Exactly."

Olivia shifted her hold, cupping Alex's throat. She advanced, kissing her softly. When she pulled back, she grinned at Alex.

"Your attacker just kissed you."

"Well if my attacker is this good looking, I might just let it happen."

Olivia chuckled and moved back to position, this time taking Alex's hands and placing them at her throat instead.

"Let's pretend you're attacking me. You'd lose in a second, by the way-"

"I would not!"

"You definitely would. So, you've come at me at my throat. Another very good response to have, if striking his arms doesn't work, is to reach out and poke him repeatedly in the eyes like this," she said, poking next to Alex's eyes. "His immediate response will be to grab at his eyes. Now, while he's blinded, is your chance to turn and run. He won't see where you're going. Also, if you are wearing heels, that's the perfect thing to use to stomp on his foot. That hurts like a mother, and if you use all your weight and force, you could do some serious damage. He can't control every part of your body at once, so if he's got your arms, use your legs. If he's got you around the waist, then you have both your hands and legs at your disposal to attack him.

Now, when you're aiming at his neck, do you know where you're trying to hit?"

"His throat."

"Yeah, but where?"

Alex hesitated, so Olivia reached up and grabbed her hands. She let the left one drop and held the right. She opened it, palm flat, and ran it along the side of her throat, along her carotid artery.

"Here. You want to strike here as hard as you can because this can literally bring a man down to his knees. Or here," she indicated the front of her throat. "Aim for his Adam's apple."

Alex smiled at her.

"What?"

"I don't know. It's just… I like that you know these things," she smiled, leaning forward and kissing Olivia. She pulled back and met her gaze. "It's sexy."

Olivia gave a soft laugh and kissed her cheek.

"Hopefully you'll never need to use any of this because I'll be there to beat the shit out of any sorry s.o.b. who tries to touch you."

Alex, momentarily distracted from her self-defence lesson, wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and pulled her into a tight hug. She knew that Olivia would stop anyone who tried to hurt her because she had. However, she felt terrible because it came at a cost. When they had gotten word that the third man had died, Olivia had nodded and walked away. Alex had given her some space, and when she had finally joined her upstairs and talked, Olivia admitted that she felt incredibly guilty. She said she wished hadn't have had to take any of their lives and she felt terrible that she had just killed three men. She explained that didn't exactly regret doing so, because it had meant keeping Alex safe, but it was never easy to take someone's life.

Olivia had struggled for the days following the attack. Alex tried to listen to her, to be supportive, but the truth was that she didn't know what to say. She didn't truly know how to comfort her because she had never been in Olivia's position. She had been incredibly grateful to Agent Amendola, who had spent the evening speaking with Olivia three days after they'd gotten news that the third attacker had died. She didn't know what he had said, but Olivia had returned to Alex with a weight lifted off her shoulders.

"Hey," Olivia whispered, pulling Alex from her thoughts. "Where did you go?"

"Nowhere," she responded, snuggling into her neck. "Just enjoying your hug."

Olivia held her closer, and Alex took a second to gather her thoughts.

"Thank you, Olivia, for everything you're doing for me. I know you've been forced to do things you don't want to do. I know you had to do things to protect me that make you feel terrible and leave you with these awful feelings of guilt. I know you've been having nightmares," she admitted, and when Olivia began to protest she silenced her by continuing, "I know you have, Liv. I'm right there in bed with you. I know you've had to do all these things to keep me alive, and I'm sorry that you've been left with this burden. I know it isn't easy, baby, and I'm sorry. But I want you to know that I do see you and you're not alone. And I want you to know how incredibly grateful I am that you do everything in your power to keep me safe. I feel so incredibly safe with you."

Olivia rubbed her back in response, digesting what Alex had just said. She thought she'd been doing such a good job of hiding her struggle, of hiding how difficult these last few days had been for her. She was doing better, but the guilt of killing three men was hard to fight off. She didn't want Alex to know how hard it was for her because she didn't want her to feel guilty or to feel that she was in any way to blame.

"I'm glad you feel safe, because that's my goal in all of this. I never want to do what I did again, but I would if I had to if it meant keeping you safe. I just need time to process everything and then I'll be okay."

Alex nodded. "Thank you," she repeated.

Olivia held her close until Alex finally pulled away. She could see the heaviness in Olivia's eyes, the haunted look in them. She wanted to take it all away, remove it completely, but she knew she couldn't. The only thing she could do right now was try to be supportive. She had done that, and she thought maybe the next thing she could do would be distract her, so she did. She asked Olivia to show her what to do if someone came after her from behind, knowing that she would love the opportunity to teach Alex something else. The mood lightened significantly as they practised, and they spent the rest of the evening pretending to attack and defend themselves against an attacker.

They were informed early the next morning that they would be leaving, much to Alex's displeasure. She did not want to go any further from Hannah, still hoping that she would soon get to see the girl. That hope was torn to shreds when she was informed that they were being temporarily moved to a home in Arkansas.

"Arkansas! Are you kidding me?!" Alex immediately protested.

"We can't keep you here forever. Your choice is either to go to Arkansas temporarily while we continue to wait on the situation in New York or we reassign you new identities and you restart somewhere else. It is your choice."

"Like hell it's my choice," she spat, turning on her heels and heading upstairs.

"Alex," Olivia called out. When she didn't turn around, Olivia followed her upstairs. "Babe, we have to."

"I know we have to! We never have a choice but to do what they say. I'm sick of this, Olivia. I haven't been in control of my own fucking life for three God damn years! I want to go home. I don't want to keep doing this. What if they decide we can't go home? What if we have to restart all over again in a new town, with new jobs, new identities? I can't do this again. I'm tired of this," she began to lose steam, her voice suddenly filled with sadness. "What if we never see Hannah again?"

Alex dropped onto the bed and let the tears fall. She was overwhelmed, tired, scared. She hated this. She hated not being in control. She hated feeling so damn helpless.

Olivia walked over and sat next to her on the bed, wrapping her arms around Alex.

"I know it seems scary and overwhelming. We're in a really shitty place right now because we don't know what's happening and we have no control over what is going on. But what we do have is hope. There is still hope that we'll be able to go home, baby. And if we do, that means we go home as Alex and as Olivia. That means we don't have to lie anymore and we can contact Hannah. We need to cooperate right now in order to make that happen, okay? So let's go to Arkansas and focus on getting home."

Alex looked up at Olivia, unshed tears in her eyes.

"Why do you always have to be the voice of reason?"

Olivia chuckled and kissed her temple.

"Because I'm always right. Remember all those fights we had back in New York? I won them all for a reason."

"You did not!" Alex scoffed, smiling as she sniffled. She wiped her eyes and leaned her head on Olivia's shoulder.

"I did," she insisted, kissing the top of her head. "And I look forward to sparring with you again when we're back in New York."

Alex quietly played with Olivia's fingers for a few minutes before looking up at her.

"You know we won't be able to work together when we get back there."

"I know," she said with a sigh.

"I'll still go back to Liz, but I'll have to work with another division."

"I could look into-"

"No. They need you in SVU, Liv. It was never a question of who would be transferring. It was always going to be me. Besides, I'll get sick of you if I have to see you at work and at home so it's a good thing I'll be somewhere else."

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex and pushed her back onto the bed, covering her body with her own.

"You could never get sick of me!" she said, peppering her face and neck with kisses. "You love me way too much."

Alex giggled and tried to push her off.

"Let me go!" she said, laughing.

"No. Not until you admit I'm right."

She continued kissing her cheeks, her neck, tickling her side for good measure.

"You're coercing your witness!"

"Spousal privilege," Olivia rebuked.

Alex stopped her giggling and smiled up at Olivia.

"You have to marry me before you get to claim spousal privileges."

Olivia leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. When she pulled away, she cupped Alex's cheek.

"Then marry me," she whispered.

Alex's smile faded and she searched Olivia's eyes.

"What?"

"Marry me," she repeated. "I love you, Alex. No matter where we are, no matter who we are, no matter what happens, I love you. You are my constant, my one reason for living. I cannot live my life without you. I don't want to. You are my best friend, my girlfriend, my supporter, my lover, my reason for being. You make my life so much better simply because you are in it. I love who I am when I'm with you; I never want to be without you because you make me so incredibly happy.

There is no future without you, Alex. I want you by my side for the rest of my life. I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep with you every night. I don't care where I am as long as you are there with me. You're my favourite person; you are my everything. You are my best friend, and now I am asking you to be my wife."

She held Alex's gaze for a long second before repeating her question.

"Will you marry me?"

Alex, who had been biting her lip as the tears fell, could no longer hold it in. She burst into tears and pulled Olivia into a hug, crying happily into her shoulder. She had never been told anything so completely beautiful in her entire life. She was overwhelmed, and so unbelievably happy.

"I've been thinking about this for a long time," Olivia confessed in her ear, her voice thick with emotion. "I want to marry you."

Alex could not respond; the ball of emotion in her throat was too big. Instead, she leaned back and met Olivia's lips, kissing her deeply. She held the back of her neck, keeping her in place as she kissed Olivia with everything she had, everything she felt. By the time they pulled apart, Olivia was breathless. She simply stared down at Alex, dazed. She wore a smile on her lips and leaned down to kiss her way to her ear.

"You still haven't given me an answer. I'm getting kinda nervous here."

A bubble of laughter burst from Alex's chest, and she immediately began chanting "yes, yes, yes" as she kissed the woman above her.

A wave of euphoria swallowed Olivia and she laughed, leaning down to kiss her fiancée.

The drive to Arkansas was bittersweet for Alex. She was overwhelmed with happiness, but she was also consumed with sadness because they were leaving a life that she had grown accustomed to, that she had liked. She would no longer be Valerie Porter, and she found that that greatly saddened her. Only now did she realise how happy she had been as Valerie the librarian, living with her girlfriend and the teenager they had "adopted". Her uncertain future worried her, but the warm, comforting fingers laced with her own reminded her that no matter where she ended up, she'd be safe.

The following days at the new house were not much better than the ones at the safe house. Alex felt like she was riding an emotional roller coaster. One minute, she was happily laughing with Olivia, making love and enjoying the uninterrupted time they got to spend together as fiancées. Then the next, she remembered the fact that they were in a new town, futures uncertain, and unsure if they would ever be able to contact the young girl they had left behind or return to their home in New York City. She tried to focus on the positive, but with each passing day, even Olivia started to have a difficult time keeping her spirits up.

Things were immeasurably worse for Hannah, who had absolutely no idea what was going on. In a little town like Burgus, news travels like wildfire and it didn't take long for Hannah to find out that something had gone terribly wrong at Cam and Val's. She had hopped on her bike as soon as she had found out and had ridden as fast as she could to their home. When she arrived, she couldn't even get close to the house. There had been a perimeter set up and uniformed men prevented her from getting close. She had been frantic, overwhelmed with fear at the possibility that they had been hurt. She had heard that people had gotten shot and there were rumours that they had been killed as well, but there were no further details yet. She was desperate, and it had taken two police officers to escort her back to her mother's home. She had screamed and cried, and she didn't care that she had made a huge scene. She only calmed down when they broke down and told her that the victims were male. As she reflected later, she figured the only reason they had even told her that much was because she had been so belligerent.

She was able to keep hope for a few days, incessantly checking her phone and calling Val and Cam's in the hopes that she would be able to reach them. She knew that they would contact her when they could, but why was it taking so long? Rumours began to spread in the town, vile gossip regarding the two lesbians who lived in old Mrs Flannigan's house, but Hannah refused to pay them any attention. She glared when people looked at her. They knew she had spent nearly every waking moment with them, so when rumours started about the women being involved in illegal activity, they suspected Hannah's involvement as well. Hannah didn't care. Let them talk. The only thing she cared about was hearing from the women.

But they didn't call. They didn't text. They didn't send a message. Days went by and Hannah heard nothing.

Then a week.

Two.

Nothing. Soon the story began to quiet down, and Hannah had been given no real answers. The men had never been identified, Val's and Cam's whereabouts were a mystery, and Hannah had been specifically forbidden from approaching the house. She had no idea what had happened, only that men had been shot in the house and that Val and Cam were gone. Why weren't they contacting her? Were they okay? Were they even still alive?

When her mother brought up the rumours, Hannah lost it and began screaming at her. She let out all of the fear she had been feeling and channeled it out in rage, resulting in the biggest fight she had ever had with her mother. It ended with Hannah locking herself in her room, the explosion of emotions finally triggering the meltdown she had been actively trying to avoid.

Hannah cried.

She cried and cried until she had no more tears, until her eyes were so sore that she could barely open them. She felt abandoned, angry, sad, worried, alone, helpless, confused, and a myriad of other emotions. She stayed locked in her room for an entire week, refusing to speak to anyone. Eventually, she was forced to pull herself from her breakdown and go back to school, where she finally saw Lisa for the first time in three weeks. She was behind in all of her classes, had missed countless assignments, but what was worse, she had pretty much ruined things with her girlfriend. She had lost it on the girl some weeks ago because she had been so distraught, and as understanding as Lisa was, there was only so much she could take.

When she heard Hannah was back at school, Lisa had been poised to confront her, to yell at her and let out everything she had felt these last few weeks. However, that had gone out the window when she had finally seen her girlfriend (if that's what they still were?). Hannah was gaunt, eyes sunken in, a shadow of her former self. To be frank, she looked like shit. It was evident now exactly what she had been going through these last few weeks and Lisa felt guilty for being so upset with her. She approached Hannah carefully, and when Hannah gave her a soft smile, she threw caution to the wind and leapt into her arms.

"I'm sorry," Hannah instantly chanted over and over again, but Lisa had already forgiven her. She knew what Val and Cam had meant to her, and when they sat after school that day and talked about everything Hannah had been going through, the strawberry blonde's heart lurched. Hannah had apologised over and over for being so selfish, for not being able to see past her own anguish, but Lisa told her she understood. And she did. She apologised for not being more understanding, but Hannah had shaken her head. She hadn't allowed Lisa to be supportive. She had needed the space. After their talk, both girls felt immeasurably better, about their relationship anyway.

The weeks continued with still no word. Hannah was slowly losing hope. She tried not to, but with every day that passed without any news from either woman, she couldn't help but fear she would never hear from them ever again. Hannah was at an all-time low when one fateful Saturday afternoon, just over six weeks after Cam and Val's disappearance, her cellphone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hannah?"

The teenager immediately stood up, eyes wide. She'd recognise that voice anywhere.

"Val?!"

"It's me, sweetheart. Hi. God, I've missed your voice."

Hannah heard her crying on the other end, and she could not stop her own tears.

"Val! Where are you? Are you okay? God. What happened? Is Cam with you?"

"Yeah, sweetie. She's with me."

There was rustling on the other end and another very familiar voice came on the line.

"Hey, kid. How you holding up?"

"Cam, God. What happened? Where are you?"

"We have a lot to explain, Hannah. We need to talk."

"When? Can I come over? Where are you?"

"What are you doing for spring break?"

Hannah shook her head. She hadn't even thought about spring break.

"I don't know. What does that have to do with anything? I want to see you guys."

"We want to see you too. That's why I'm hoping, if you don't have plans, you could come here for spring break. We want you to come to New York. We have a lot of explaining to do and we'd like to do it in person. Unfortunately, we can't get away so we need you to come here."

"Here? Here as in New York here? You're in New York? Why are you in New York?"

There was a pause on the other end.

"That's what we need to talk about. We live in New York, sweetheart. It's where we're from. We've come back home."

"Home?" she asked, frowning. "It was your home before Maine?"

"No. We never lived in Maine. Listen, Hannah. There's a lot to talk about. We have a lot of explaining to do."

There was a long pause. The rumours Hannah had heard…

"Who are you?" she finally asked.

There was a soft sigh on the other line.

"My name is Olivia Benson, and I'm a detective with the Special Victims Unit of the NYPD. Or I was, until I was place in the Witness Protection Program with my girlfriend, Alexandra Cabot."

Hannah sat down. Her head was spinning.

"I know this is a lot to swallow, Hannah. This is why we want you to come here."

"I don't even…" She shook her head, trying to focus. Her brain was spinning with confusion.

"I know, sweetie. I know it's confusing, but we can explain better in person."

"How will I get there?" she finally asked.

"We're going to buy your ticket. We'll pay for a taxi for you to get to the airport and we'll pick you up once you arrive here."

Hannah was reeling. She couldn't believe what was going on.

"Listen, Hannah. I know this is a lot and I'm sure your brain is being overwhelmed with information, so I'm going to let you go now-"

"No! Please, don't hang up. You're right, it is a lot of information but I've been waiting so long to hear from you guys. Don't go just yet."

The phone rustled as it was passed to another person.

"Hi, honey."

Hannah's brow furrowed as her eyes filled with tears. Val's voice reminded her of how comforting she had been, and she had been so scared these last few weeks, and she was now being thrown all of this confusing information. She just wanted things to go back to how they were. She wanted them back here, where they could comfort and support her like they used to.

"I know this is overwhelming, sweetheart. It's probably a bit scary too, isn't it?"

Hannah nodded against the phone, but when she realised she couldn't be seen, she let out a shaky "yes".

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this is so confusing and overwhelming. I'm so sorry you've been alone these last few weeks. We wanted to call you. God, we wanted to call you so badly, but we couldn't. We weren't allowed to talk to anyone. This is the first real chance we've gotten to contact you. I'm sorry it wasn't sooner. Have you been okay?"

"It's been a rough few weeks, but I'm okay."

"I promise things will make sense soon, honey. I know you were just told some crazy stuff, but I want you to know that it's going to be okay. This doesn't change anything, okay? I'm still the person you knew. I just have a different name."

"Alexandra?"

"Yeah, sweetie," her voice cracked at the sound of Hannah pronouncing her real name. "My name is Alexandra."

"Alex."

"Yes."

Hannah was suddenly hit with a bolt of clarity.

"Alex. That's why she'd call you that sometimes."

"What?"

"When you guys thought I couldn't hear you. In your room and stuff. The first time I heard "Al" I thought I had heard wrong and that she'd said Val. But then I heard it again and one time I heard "Alex". She was calling you by your other name."

Hannah paused and then gave a small laugh.

"To be honest, I thought it was some kind of role playing you guys were doing."

Hannah heard a heavy laugh on the other end of the line, and her lips curled into a smile. She blushed, grateful that no one could see it.

"No. We weren't supposed to, but… you miss hearing your name, so we used our real names on rare occasions. I didn't know you heard us."

"I barely did." Pause. "So, it's true then? What she said?"

"Yeah, sweetheart. It's true. My name isn't Valerie Porter and I'm not from Maine. My name is Alex, Alexandra Cabot, and I'm from New York City."

Hannah took deep breaths, trying to digest the information.

"It was all a lie."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry, but how we felt about you, that was not a lie, okay? We had no choice. We had to lie about who we were and where we were from, but we never lied about how much we cared about you, okay? Do you hear me?"

Hannah nodded, forgetting again that they couldn't see her.

"I've missed you, Hannah. We've missed you terribly."

"You don't know how much I've missed you guys."

"How's it been at home? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I've basically been in my room since you guys left. Well, there or with Lisa, now that things are okay between us again."

"Things weren't okay with you? What happened?"

"I kind of had a meltdown when you guys disappeared and I was really shitty to her."

"Oh, Hannah…"

"It's okay now. We talked. She forgave me because she's an amazing person."

"I can't imagine how hard of a time you had, honey. I'm glad she forgave you."

"Me too."

"Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. A little confused I guess. But I'm glad you're okay. And I'll get to see you guys soon?"

"Yes, sweetheart. You will. You'll come here for spring break in just a few weeks, okay? In the meantime, Google my name, Alexandra Cabot, and the city of New York. It'll answer a lot of your questions and you have my number now, so I can answer some questions too, but I'd really like to save the discussion for when you arrive. Okay?"

"Okay," Hannah said, still feeling uncertain.

"It'll be okay, sweetie. I promise."

"Okay. Thanks," she said, then paused. "Val? Um, Alex?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"I'm glad you're okay. I've really missed you."

"I've missed you more than you know, Hannah. Take care and we'll talk soon."

"You too," she responded, still holding the phone to her ear long after the line went dead.