A/N: I'm amazed at the amount of people that seem to like this fic; it makes me feel somewhat bad for ending it how I originally do, though it's not enough to convince me to make the ending any happier. In any case, though, I should mention that I don't know where the chapter titles come from- I had nicer ones before, but I completely forgot what they were. It's probably why they're all going to be one-word affairs with the '-ing' suffix, or something like that...
Beta'd by AutumnCadenza and Stately Demented
~ Chapter 3 [Changing] ~
Eren's morning generally began when a stubborn streak of sunlight intruded through his thin blinds and fell upon his eyes… but today started a little differently, thanks to the fact that he was already awake before the sun had been up in the sky for more than an hour. The source of his unwarranted start to the day, though, wasn't particularly evident to the groggy young adult until he had groaned aloud and rolled over to his other side. Yet even then, when he'd finally settled down, it still took another disturbance to force his sleep-glued eyes open.
"Oi, brat," the strangely familiar voice growled in displeasure, and Eren nearly pissed his pants when his pupils alighted upon a shadowed figure crouching at the edge of his mattress.
"W-Wha…" Eren whimpered pathetically, but the sight of cold grey eyes before his own effectively killed the question bubbling to the forefront of his mind.
"Your balcony door was unlocked, you little shit," Levi snorted derisively as he recalled the moment when he'd knocked on the flimsy screen and found it rattling open under his touch, before he returned his attention to the half-awake kid before him. "But I didn't come here to have a civil chat with you over your debatable level of stupidity, brat."
Eren stared darkly at the shadowy figure crouched before his bed but, if the other man noticed his palpable displeasure, he didn't seem to pay any attention to it. "Now, I'm not sure whether your bathroom's heating works or not… but mine isn't working, and I need to wash my body before my sweat fucking dries on me."
The tired college student groaned loudly at the thought of being further disturbed by the inevitable noisiness of his neighbour's shower, but the hard glare that attempted to bore a hole into his skull prevented him from simply ignoring the disturbance to his less-than-peachy day. With a displeased sigh and an even more disgruntled growl, Eren flung his covers off his body and wriggled out of bed, before he noiselessly waved in the general direction of his shower and shuffled over towards his kitchen.
If he couldn't get any more sleep, then he might as well try to make sure that he could keep himself functioning without the extra half-hour of sleep that he'd normally get.
By the time Eren had managed to get the kettle to boil without electrocuting himself or burning his hand on the heated plastic, his unwelcome guest had already made himself comfortable at his dining table, complete with half-dried hair and stupidly fluffy towel. As the groggy young adult pointedly ignored the glaring eyesore that was Levi's impossibly white towel (what sort of moron would have a towel that was that clean anyway?), he gratefully collapsed into his seat and sipped at his heavily decaffeinated drink.
"That thing is pretty much liquid shit," Levi derisively huffed midway through Eren's second sip, much to his great displeasure. "You'd be better off drinking something like tea if you really want to get a hearty punch in the face. Heck, even diluted tea has more caffeine than the pasty brown crap that you're downing right now."
"How could tea have more caffeine than coffee when nothing has more than 5% caffeine to begin with?" Eren rapidly fired back, while his unoccupied hand pointed to the gaudy label sprawled over his coffee tin. "And besides, your tea can't possibly taste much better than this 'pasty brown crap', no matter how much you add artificial colourings and flavours to it."
He almost considered retracting his statement and bowing down to beg for his neighbour's pardon when a furious pair of stormy grey eyes glared daggers at him, but he was spared the enactment of his humiliating thought when Levi abruptly leapt out of his seat and left his apartment, stupidly fluffy white towel and all. However, before he could question where the shorter man had gone, a bag of tea was unceremoniously shoved into his face, which nearly made him topple back in his seat and abandon his hold on his steaming mug altogether.
"Drink this," Levi growled dangerously, but when Eren continued to stare vacantly between the tea-bag and his face, he pressed its paper sides into Eren's cheeks and hissed insistently. "Now."
"But I'd rather just drink my coffee!" Eren whined in stubborn annoyance, and he almost stomped his foot to try and impress his point upon his disinterested neighbour. "For goodness' sakes, why don't you go convert some other discontented soul to your tea? And besides—"
"Eren, that wasn't a suggestion," Levi hissed coldly, before he shoved the tea back into Eren's face and nearly spilt a good portion of it onto his skin "Drink it. Now. Or do you not understand what I'm saying, brat?"
Shocked by the other's curious display of anger in regards to his tea and the fervent light shining brightly in his piercing gaze, Eren had no choice but to follow the other's directive and abandon his coffee to the coolness of the table-top. By the time the tea had finished brewing on his stove and steeping in another mug, though, Levi had taken the opportunity to grasp his mug and dispose of its offensive contents into the nearby sink.
Unfortunately for Eren, though, the hard look in the shorter man's eyes was enough to quash the vehement protest that was attempting to claw its way out of the college student's throat.
The curiously negative vibes continued to emit from Levi as Eren cautiously cradled his mug and sat down at his dining table, but all thoughts about his neighbour's atypical array of emotions fled from his mind when his tongue came into contact with the steaming tea… and its incredible flavour. The explosion of wild herbs that ignited his taste buds brought such a wonderful elation to his senses that, for just a moment, he almost imagined that he could see the gates of heaven, but the odd sight died down as soon as he had swallowed his mouthful. However, before he could throw back the rest of his tea and savour its soothing warmth carving a path through his gullet, the college student was interrupted by a light snicker to his right.
Levi's presence had been at the very back of Eren's mind as soon as he'd lost himself in the heavenly infusion that his neighbour had kindly gifted him with but, thanks to the older male's amused noises, he remembered the other's unwanted company again. When he'd finally set down his warm cup and had turned around with the intention of rooting the man out of his apartment, he was stopped short by the curious expression on his pale face.
Because, instead of his usual sardonic smirk or annoyed frown, Levi had a genuine smile on his face…
…And, no matter how hard he tried to explain to his neighbour that he wasn't going to be shitting in his pants or dying from a fever anytime soon, he couldn't quite explain away his heavy blush to the other male sitting in front of him.
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"Eren… Eren, are you even paying attention to me?"
Armin's hand entered the aforementioned male's field of vision with a blurred hand that snapped Eren out of his daydream almost instantaneously, but it took a few seconds for his dull green eyes to stray towards his friend's blue ones, which were swimming with a mixture of exasperation and worry. However, when his attention was somewhat more focused on his friend again, Eren almost wished he hadn't; his dazed state had barely registered the concern laced through Armin's words, but his semi-alert state found it difficult to not get overwhelmed by the other's emotions.
"Your eyes are finally turned towards me," Armin noted good-naturedly, but his tone became a little more firm when Eren's eyes began to glaze over once more. "But seriously, Eren, what's wrong with you today?"
"Wha… What do you mean?" Eren mumbled, in the hopes that his friend would miraculously ignore his attempts at feigning confusion, but he had no such luck on the matter.
"You know perfectly well what I mean!" Armin's eyes flashed dangerously as he hissed at his best friend, but his voice lost some of its intensity when the lecturer cast a rather pointed look in their direction. "You're always incredibly psyched for any of Professor Erwin's lectures, yet you're pretty much sleeping with your eyes open right now! What's gotten into you, Eren?"
"There's nothing wrong with me, okay?" Eren sighed in mild exasperation, but Armin's sharp gaze caught the resignation that was half-hidden in the other's dull green eyes. "I'd be perfectly fine if you just left me alone, so―"
"Bullshit."
Eren stared in surprise when Armin's normally gentle tone hardened with the mild profanity that slipped out of his mouth. For the most part, his angelic friend would frown or become upset whenever someone uttered language that was considered unacceptable (and ever so slightly laughable in comparison to Levi's rather colourful swearing), so the times that he used such words were even rarer than the likelihood of Professor Hange's chances of regaining her sanity.
As far as Eren was concerned, if there was anyone that would be considered the content poster-boy for being a happy conformist… then Armin was probably it.
Yet here he was, with a deep furrow creasing his blond brow, and Eren couldn't do anything but stare dumbly at the stern expression plastered across his friend's face.
"You were supposed to have a meeting with the correctional counsellor this morning, weren't you?" The sudden, guilty look that Eren made confirmed Armin's suspicions, and he continued to let his words tumble out of his mouth at an uncharacteristically rushed pace. "I'm sure you didn't go, if your face is anything to go by, so don't tell me that you're 'fine' when you missed out on vital treatment for your unease. You tend to have mood swings like nobody else I've ever seen before, but this is taking things to a whole new level, even for you."
Before Eren could hope to reply, Armin ploughed onwards. "Deaths happen a lot, I know that, and you've had more than your fair share these past few months, but you're not going to be able to deal with things better if you simply ignore your problems and continue to mope around. We've all got hope and light in ourselves, even during the darkest times, and the government's here to make sure that we're not susceptible to mental diseases like sadness or anything just as ludicrous. I know they're not your favourite sessions and sometimes, they say repetitive things that you've probably heard a thousand times before, but you have to go if you want to get better!"
Eren gnawed his bottom lip and was just about to fling a retort back to his best friend when a heavy hand dropped down onto his shoulder.
It was at this moment that he noticed the silence that had fallen over the lecture hall during Armin's latest spiel and the curious eyes that were focused on him for the second time in just as many days. However, as a shadow crossed over his face and threatened to make itself known, Professor Erwin made a timely intervention.
"Eren, Armin…" His serious gaze fell on the both of them and held their attention for a few moments, before he continued on speaking, "I know the series of deaths in Eren's apartment is fascinating, but it would probably be better for the two of you to discuss this when my lecture is over."
When Professor Erwin was sure that his two wayward students had understood his words, he lifted his hand off Eren's shoulder and proceeded to the front of the hall again, before he continued along with his prepared lecture for the remaining half-hour. Soon enough, everyone's gazes left Armin and Eren as their attention was captured once more by the statistics in front of the hall.
However, Armin's gaze never left Eren's face, even when the latter slipped back into his daydreams and resumed his passive attempts to shut out the world around him.
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The first thing that he saw when he'd exited the lecture hall was Mikasa's tightly-pressed lips.
If he wanted to be more accurate, though, it might've been better to say that her barely lukewarm gaze was the first thing that alighted upon his being, but being pedantic had never quite been his forte. As far as he was concerned, everyone else in the world could be as picky as they wanted to be, so long as they kept him out of their borderline-OCD sights.
After all, according to someone that he couldn't recall anymore, 'you're not going to be able to live any longer anyway'.
His mental tangent had just begun to wander down the curious path of the unknown person he'd subconsciously quoted when a particularly pale hand clamped down on his shoulder. Although he didn't squeak from surprise, the surprised noise that escaped his lips was enough to make Mikasa's own twitch upwards for a split second, before they resumed their oddly serious line.
"Eren, what is the meaning of this?" When a phone entered his line of vision and the short text message that Armin had sent to his foster sister registered in his mind, it was hard not to let a groan slip out of his mouth.
He had expected Jean to tell Mikasa about everything that was going on in his life –he was, in rather childish terms, a tattle-tale after all– and her intuition was probably honed to the point that she would've known if he was feeling less than peachy… but Armin, of all people, had betrayed him to her motherly instincts. He didn't hate being fussed over, though it did get rather annoying when the one fussing over him was his overprotective foster sibling, but what he did hate was the breach in trust that his best friend (or former best friend, if he were to be more accurate) had made when he'd told his sister of the slight ruckus they'd caused in the lecture hall.
"It's nothing major, jeez," Eren grouched unamusedly as he shook off Mikasa's hand, which earnt him a few cautious stares from the slower people filing out of the emptying lecture hall that he promptly ignored. "Armin may or may not have tried to disturb my daydreaming and he may or may not have had an argument with me about visiting the correctional counsellor—"
"Did you have to skip another session, Eren?" Mikasa sighed, but the half-suppressed smile on her face ruined the lightly scolding effect that she'd been going for. "You know how they try to bug me when you don't show up."
"And you know how they like to bug me when I don't answer their pointless questions." Instead of standing around and attracting more attention for his strange opposition towards counselling in general, Eren had decided that stuffing his hands into his pockets and talking while he slouched off to the cafeteria would be a better idea.
"Besides, people keep dying around me to begin with," Eren huffed in annoyance. "It's not like I can control where those dumb murderers kill and how they attempt to bring terror into the hearts of the people anyway. Don't they realize that spouting the same old 'get over it and be happy' mantra does nothing, especially after they've been repeating it for the past few years?"
The peculiar warning look that flashed across Mikasa's dark eyes was totally missed by the ranting college student, but the re-introduction of her hand to his shoulder received a little more attention than her subtle expressions. However, before she could get in a word edgewise, she found her hand dislodged again as Eren's head quickly whipped to the window on his right.
"Eren," Mikasa started in a bid to get his attention again, but she was completely rebuffed by Eren's continued fascination with the view outside the window. "Eren, what is it?"
It took a few more minutes of other similarly phrased questions and a few harsh pokes to his sides to get Eren's attention back on her, but all thoughts of chastising him died down in her when she saw the consternation drawn across his slightly furrowed brows. While Mikasa busied herself with smoothing out the disconcerting wrinkles that marred her foster brother's forehead, she tried to think up ways to get the strangely-silent boy to talk to her somehow.
"I thought I saw…" Eren bit his lower lip hesitantly as he wondered about whether he should tell his foster sister about the odd sight of his neighbour with what looked to Professor Hange, but the thought flew from his mind when she removed her finger from his brow and waved her hand before him instead. "Actually, never mind."
"What? What did you see?" she insisted, but he shook his head and shrugged diffidently.
"It was nothing important…" Eren muttered, both to himself and to Mikasa, and was summarily relieved when his foster sister decided to not pry into his affairs for the first time in her life. Of course, it didn't mean that he was spared the curious gaze that she deigned to throw his way… but at least he was able to keep his thoughts to himself for the time being.
That was, until he nearly bashed into a wall in a place that was most certainly not the cafeteria.
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"For the last time, Mikasa, I'm not going to go see that counsellor—"
"And for the last time, Eren, I'm not going to leave your side until you go see them!"
Determined green clashed with stubborn grey as Eren stared at Mikasa and she stared straight back at him, but neither backed down from their impromptu staring contest in front of the counsellor's impeccably white door. The few odd glances that were directed to the flat expressions plastered onto their faces went by completely unnoticed, but the bored voice that sounded from next to them was rather effectively in grabbing their attention.
"You might burn a hole into each other's skulls if you continue staring like that." Eren's and Mikasa's heads whipped around so fast that they nearly smashed their foreheads together but, when their vision had cleared, their eyes simultaneously landed on Mikasa's room-mate, Annie. "That is, if the people around you don't burn you to the ground first…"
By the time the awkward smiles had dissipated on Eren's and Mikasa's faces and Annie had stopped looking far too amused for anyone's benefit, the unusual trio were the only people left standing uncomfortably before the counsellor's closed door. However, before either of the foster siblings could ask why the normally-taciturn girl was talking to them, she had already turned to focus her pale blue eyes on her roommate.
"Now, I'm not sure what's going on here…" Annie's eyes strayed to the counsellor's door and Eren's flushed face in a way that directly conflicted with her previous statement. "But Mikasa, you're going to be late to your next lecture if you keep hovering over Eren like that. I'm sure that, as much as Professor Nanaba is fine with you coming into the hall late again, you're better off not disturbing everyone else trying to learn inside."
For a moment, Eren thought that she'd put up some sort of fight and ignore Annie's words, but his eyes widened ever so slightly when Mikasa merely cast a glance in his direction and sighed before she obligingly went off to her next class. Before he could celebrate his good fortune and make a break for somewhere other than the correctional counsellor's room, though, a flat look from the girl beside him stopped him in his tracks.
"Mikasa's been more emotionless than ever since you kicked her out of your apartment and moved to your new one." Eren's eyes widened at Annie's words, but he could only stare at her in shock as she quickly continued speaking. "I'm not sure what's gotten her so riled up now, but it's most probably something to do with you again. Now, I'm not suggesting anything here…"
Eren gulped when Annie moved closer and pinned him against the wall, but the curious lack of emotion in her new few words served to frighten him even more. "But I have a feeling that you might want to do whatever's necessary for your sister to return to her old self.
"It's up to you as to whether you want to follow my advice, of course…" It took a while for Eren to realize that he wasn't being forced against the wall and that Annie had already began to walk down the corridor, but her last words rung in his ear as she disappeared around the corner. "But it's probably in Mikasa's best interest for you to go see that counsellor now."
Mikasa had been somebody that had never quite expressed emotions in the same way that most people in society often did but the thought that she had become more closed-off was particularly worrying, especially when Eren considered the social isolation that all morose-looking individuals suffered. She had struggled to integrate herself into her emotionally buoyant surroundings so that she could eliminate the ever-present risk of being severely 'corrected' by the government… so if he became the cause for her relapse into stoicism, he would probably never forgive himself for placing his foster sister in trouble.
As much as he didn't like her overly protective nature or her inherent nosiness when it came to his affairs, he'd rather have her than nobody at all.
He stared at the spot where he'd last seen Annie occupy for a long while as his thoughts raced around his head but, when the door beside him swung open with a merry tinkle and a pleasant voice asked whether he was alright or not, Eren shook his head and huffed to himself. It was infuriating for him to see the very people that made him recall the deaths that he'd tried so hard to suppress in his subconscious, but if this was for Mikasa…
…then he supposed he could spare a few minutes of his time for them.
And so, with a pleasant smile slapped onto his face for good measure, Eren turned towards the awaiting counsellor and walked into his unscheduled counselling session. Hopefully, if things didn't go too badly, he could get out within 10 minutes and catch the end of a mid-afternoon soapie, or something along the lines of that.