Rule #1: Clint is never to be within four feet of Thor's hair again.
Six months into the five of them living together found Clint, Natasha, Tony, Bruce, and Steve tired and in possession of large mugs of coffee.
The two SHIELD agents were lounging in the living room in their pajamas. They'd recently gotten back from a short but exhausting mission in Dubai, and were spending a few days regenerating from work.
Steve was absently frying up breakfast, like he normally did. The smells of bacon grease and buttery pancakes filled the place. He looked bleary-eyed, but was already dressed in jeans and a button down plaid shirt. His hair was neatly combed.
Bruce was sitting at the dining room table with Tony. He had on a denim shirt and large stretchy sweatpants. He was absently reading the morning paper.
Stark was barely dressed in his favorite work clothes: an old t-shirt and worn-in sweats. His hair was in a rat's nest. He was absorbed with his holograms that appeared to be generating out of his phone, distractedly drinking his coffee at regular intervals. Bruce experimentally dropped a piece of bacon into his mug. The man didn't even bat an eye the next time he took a long gulp.
He was so engaged that he apparently didn't even hear the phone ring.
After about thirty seconds, Steve sighed and said, "JARVIS, just pick it up."
"Right away, sir."
Immediately Agent Hill's voice filled the room. "Attention Avengers, Thor has just arrived. I repeat, Thor as arrived. He will be at Stark Tower in about three minutes."
Barton and Natasha continued to look half-asleep. Steve set a plate of breakfast in front of Tony and a second for Bruce, clearing away the latter's first dish. Neither man moved an inch. "Why are we hearing about this just now, Maria?" Bruce sounded mildly amused.
Hill sounded rather frustrated. (Which, come to think of it, was probably her normal voice at this point.) "The Asgardians never give us any forewarning." She hung up.
Right on cue, JARVIS announced, "Sirs and Miss Romanoff, it would appear that Thor is stuck on the ground floor. He is trying to open the elevator doors."
Tony drank more bacon-coffee. "JARVIS, please explain to him where the stairs are through the loud speaker in the entry hall."
Twenty minutes later the double doors opened, and Thor walked in. He was a little out of breath. "Man of Iron, there is a strange disembodied voice in your tower."
"Eh, that's just JARVIS." Tony waved his hand dismissively. Thor raised his eyebrows. "Who?"
"Don't try to understand it, Thor. I've been trying for the past month, still getting nowhere," Steve said. "You want to help me make more breakfast? Dr. Selvig said you were an excellent cook, and Bruce is almost finished with his third plate of pancakes."
Dr. Banner didn't even look, just pointedly put another pancake in his mouth and turned the page of his newspaper.
"Yes." Thor manned the eggs and bacon, while Steve mixed more batter. Thor's long hair stuck to his fore head, which he pulled back out of his eyes.
No one saw Clint glancing between the Norse god and Natasha's red hair, which he was playing with absently.
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The next day was Monday. Tony was dressed for work, in a sharp grey suit, red tie, and shades, waiting for Pepper to get her briefcase. He had his favorite coffee mug in one hand and leaned against the kitchen counter with the other. He heard someone walk in mid sip, looked and almost did a spit take.
Thor made his way the fridge and got out a carton of milk. He poured himself a large glass as if everything was completely normal. He sat down and picked up the newspaper that Pepper had left on the table. Tony continued staring behind his shades.
Steve and Bruce entered five minutes later. They were discussing…something, but Tony was too distracted to listen. But he did see when they noticed Thor. Bruce snorted and covered his mouth to hide his laughter. The Captain dropped his water glass, which shattered on the floor.
Tony regained his voice. "Thor, why is your hair in a bunch of tiny little braids?"
Thor shook his head, the colored beads in his hair flapping. "I do not know. I awoke and it was like this. I tried for an hour, but could not get them out."
Pepper arrived with her briefcase. "Good morning, everyone." She glanced at Thor. "I like your hair. Come on, Tony, we're going to be late." She dragged her boyfriend out of the room.
Bruce and Steve looked at each other and cracked up.
In the ventilation shaft above, one Agent Barton was also shaking with quiet laughter. The Black Widow watched the scene unfold through the grate, an annoyed look on her face. "You could've included me, you know," she grumbled.
Clint smirked at her. "Sorry, Nat. It was a solo mission."